Walker wrote: ↑Wed Jun 24, 2026 3:39 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2026 3:37 am
Gary Childress wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2026 3:34 am
To anyone who asks or whom I happen to be talking to.
But why? They can't do anything you can't do. And they aren't responsible for what happens to you. So complaining to them makes absolutely no sense.
Are you sure that's the direction of your complaint?
I once had a dear friend who although young, had known a lifetime of pain. Real physical pain that was sometimes less, sometimes more. She was treating the current hospital stay like it was no problem, no complaints, just something to get out of the way. But I knew of her condition, so I asked her, "You don't complain. I think I would." And she told me that she had learned that complaining to people who could do nothing to help her, did nothing but make them feel bad.
In time, the lesson has been reinforced. Those with the most to complain about, complain the least. It's a natural something that happens to people when they wise up, and it transcends culture ... unless the culture rewards it.
Not complaining is something men seem to know instinctively, but for many the culture has successfully rewarded it to the extent that victimhood is now a sort of virtue signaling. Makes a man want to puke if applied to him, if someone tries to coax some complaints.
Pain had pushed my friend into the comfort of kindness ... her's, for others.
Into rationality.
Uh huh.
(It's an explanation of why I agree with your comment, and perhaps some information for miserable folks will sink in.)
Life has pain in it...for everybody. Some get much more of it than others. But everybody has it.
I've known people who have lived happily in the lowliest of personal circumstances, and even in extreme physical pain. I've known people who've lived through incredible emotional pain, loss, mental illness, and so on. And I've seen people handle it all better, or handle it worse.
You know what the difference always is?
Meaning. If what they are experiencing has sufficient
meaning, there's almost nothing they can't endure and be happy within. If, on the other hand, they think it's
meaningless, then the smallest pain becomes an unbearable incursion on their hoped-for happiness, and resentment boils up and takes over.
So I said to Gary, "Seek
meaning: it's how you'll find happiness."
But you know what you get if you seek happiness itself?
Disappointment. And nothing else. Happiness is always a byproduct of meaning. It cannot be found on its own, or by dictating terms to it.