ben js wrote:[1]
A muscle only grows when it is confronted by it’s (current) limitations.
To expose oneself to one’s limits, is an honest act. A respectful act.
In order for it to be productive, however, one must not only push, but rest.
One must reflect on one’s limitations and let wounds heal with full knowledge, that they will soon be re-opened.
If one only pushes, one is running, and will eventually break due to irreparable damage.
If one is always at rest, one’s strength will fade away until one can’t move except at the mercy of one’s environment.
Both paths lead to the same end.
The process of growing, which one desires, demands both rest and strain.
If one doesn’t recognize the process, one may lose sight, confidence, self.
When the things one values are disregarded,
one is not indifferent.
One is confused, alone, afraid…
These are true,
and an equal illustration
that even in these moments,
their alternatives still are.
There’s no inconsistency.
===
[2]
If one doesn’t notice one is drowning,
one may believe one is resting,
when one is straining to stay afloat.
One will smile, continue one’s chores,
and steadily lose a grasp on one’s only life boat.
Throughout the process,
one will breathe in a lung of water,
causing acute shock.
Whilst one denies their ordeal,
one will falsely attribute this honest reaction to irrelevant causes,
and dismiss the life boat’s flashing beacon.
And who could find strength in one’s corpse?
One has only been an illustration of that which others should not aspire,
yet one had the initial strength to strain against death,
will this message be lost also?
===
[3]
A life is not balanced.
One may be born with a failing body,
where it’s optimistic to aim for a state without continual blood loss.
One may not be able to rely on the self to sustain.
Then one needs to seek externally.
Requires the influence - inspiration - example of the other…
else one is slipping away.
Just as one may need medicine,
one may need mental/emotional inspiration,
without which, one is constantly failing.
Is that unstable?
Is that a sign of an underlying problem that should be addressed?
Is that weak?
The objective is to attach oneself closely to life.
If inspiration does this, then it is an attainable solution.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It is a reaction to adversity
that otherwise can’t be overcome to one’s knowledge.
One must make do.
I think you're doing a lot more than you realize, Gary.
If you look within, there's likely many battles being waged.
You're enduring & surviving in a cruel and perhaps tragic world -
this is not nothing.
In times against great odds,
one must pick their battles wisely.
There's few hills you need to die on.
Whilst the past is real, and an opportunity for learning -
it is but one of many opportunities,
and it need not be one's only focus / priority.
We don't need to carry all of history on our backs -
we can set it down and return to it when ready,
it'll still be there.
If one is seeking sustenance, and only consumes poison,
one is starving themselves - disempowering themselves -
actively working against their needs.
This process has a very clear outcome.
Distancing oneself from poison is self compassion.
So is finding reliable / attainable methods to nourish the spirit - a place to recover.
If you're already fighting many battles, especially without realizing,
what you probably need is rest and spiritual nourishment.
Not to seek support from assholes like myself and many others who occupy this forum.
Ask yourself, what do you love?
What is valuable to you intrinsically, not as a means to an end?
And try to balance your life, and incorporate time for nourishment.
If it's misery after misery, then life becomes tragic.
I think the light is when you can welcome the new day,
and feel it's an opportunity for meaning and joy (a gift) -
as opposed to dreading each day,
as a cruel endurance with an inevitable sour end.
Even if the external world is cruel and bitter,
one can nurture an internal garden,
where it is a pleasure to inhabit that space.
'It is no sign of health to be well adjusted to a sick society'
'Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation'
'Become the change you wish to see'
We are blessed with the opportunity to be ourselves, and to cultivate ourselves into our ideal.
And whilst you are, this opportunity will always remain - this you can rely on.
