Men

[Dontaskme]

I've given up on life veggie, I'm done. That's why I openly spew the crap I do on a public forum, I have nothing left to lose, but act like a complete fruitloop basket case.

It sounds like you and Gary have similar perspectives?

This environment seems a bit harsh for people who are feeling thrashed. I wonder if you both use this forum to beat up more on yourselves?

Yes, Lacewing, you are correct to say, I use this forum as an outlet for letting off the steam. And yes, I am constantly beating up on myself here, and being allowed to do so, and yes, just like Gary does.

The only difference between Gary and I is that he wants to find a good woman to love and have her love him back. But I want nothing, and death and total oblivion seems to be more and more appealing and inviting to me more than anything else, more than being a billionaire even.

[Dontaskme]

I never would have thought you were depressed. I thought you were just eccentric. I wish people wouldn't talk about suicide on here because when they disappear for a while I worry about it. Haven't you felt relief when Gary shows up again after one of his suicidal posts? I do.

I've been depressed all my life, it's like I've just decided to come out about it now, like gays do when they come out to tell the world about their sexual orientation. Except my coming out is to just admit to everyone and myself, that all my life I have just pretended to like being alive because it's what I was expected to do, and yet I just wore this mask that indicated to people I loved being alive, when I didn't, but was too ashamed to admit it. But now I'm admitting it, I have never enjoyed being alive, in fact I've spent most of my life just pretending to be ok, just so that I would fit in with societies exepectations.Truth is, I understand that depression is a very good sign that one is intelligent enough to realise that life is a really fucked up event. And to realise that the majority of people born to the world probably feel the same but are too scared or ashamed to admit it to themselves and others for fear of looking stupid.

Yes, I'm glad when Gary shows up, and the thing is, although I do not like being alive, I do not like the thought of dying either, so I'm kind of stuck in a catch 22 situation, and that really bugs the hell out of me as well.

And just to clarify my contradiction, I like the idea of being dead, but not the dying process, which is not something I want to be conscious of tbh.

.

[Lacewing]

I've given up on life veggie, I'm done. That's why I openly spew the crap I do on a public forum, I have nothing left to lose, but act like a complete fruitloop basket case.

It sounds like you and Gary have similar perspectives?

This environment seems a bit harsh for people who are feeling thrashed. I wonder if you both use this forum to beat up more on yourselves?

Yes, Lacewing, you are correct to say, I use this forum as an outlet for letting off the steam. And yes, I am constantly beating up on myself here, and being allowed to do so, and yes, just like Gary does.

The only difference between Gary and I is that he wants to find a good woman to love and have her love him back. But I want nothing, and death and total oblivion seems to be more and more appealing and inviting to me more than anything else, more than being a billionaire even.

Does medication not help?

[Dontaskme]

Does medication not help?

IDK, never tried it.

The thing is, I don't want to be helped, I want to just try and endure it on my own without any consciousness/brain chemical altering drug to change the way I feel. I want to feel everything I feel, just for the experience, even if that includes feeling the sensations of depths of deep despair. Why, because I know that one day I will be dead and never have to feel ever again, so I can wait for that time to arrive when it's meant to arrive quite happily and patiently.

[Lacewing]

Does medication not help?

IDK, never tried it.

The thing is, I don't want to be helped, I want to just try and endure it on my own without any consciousness/brain chemical altering drug to change the way I feel. I want to feel everything I feel, just for the experience, even if that includes feeling the sensations of depths of deep despair. Why, because I know that one day I will be dead and never have to feel ever again, so I can wait for that time to arrive when it's meant to arrive quite happily and patiently.

Oh, I see. Do you think the body is just a vessel/vehicle... or do you think it's who you are?

[Dontaskme]

Oh, I see. Do you think the body is just a vessel/vehicle... or do you think it's who you are?

I used to think and believe that the body was just a vehicle for infinite consciousness to experience a finite conscious existence.

But then changed my mind about that. I now think the body and mind are inseparably one unitary function, and that there is simply no function without both body and mind existing at the same instance of conscious experience.

And the idea of death is simply the entrance into life, and vice versa, that birth is the entrance into death. And that both birth and death are the same one conscious experience which is an eternal event without beginning nor end. In other words, that which is living is simultaneously dying, and that which is dying is simultaneously living, which is all known in the experience of consciousness, the only knowing there is. So to me, conscious experience is like a living death. And people think I'm weird for saying these things, but it's honestly how I see reality to be right now. But I might change my mind about it, I don't know, maybe I will, or I will stick, I'll have to wait and see, for now.

[Dontaskme]

This is what happens in NZ when women try to speak. Video of the event is hard to find because for 'some reason' there was a complete media blockout of it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3s4Ezk ... tBirdyRose

I watched this, all of it. I never knew this was going on in the world, and now I feel so stupid for judging your reactions to this...and for asking you what you are so angry about and what exactly are you fighting for. Now I see more clearly.
I am an idiot veggie, I admit it.

The video is shocking, in fact I am shocked that I'm shocked as I thought there was nothing in this world that shocked me, but this did, at what is happening to our humanity, and that the very idea of there wanting to be genderless society is becoming the new normal is I guess just nature wanting to experience a huge paradigm shift towards total gender equality, and that the process that is unfolding before our eyes right now, is obviously causing an extreme amount of confusion and misery as to what the heck is going on between the opposite sexes, as they battle against each other for dominance, privilege, status, position and power. But I've heard it said many time that we are indeed living in interesting times, and often change is very difficult to accept.

That's only my guess as to what's happening here, I could be wrong or really off track, to which I can only apologise.

[Walker]

How do they talk about women when there are no women around?

Not like in that video, or in any way consistent with that video.

[Lacewing]

Oh, I see. Do you think the body is just a vessel/vehicle... or do you think it's who you are?

I used to think and believe that the body was just a vehicle for infinite consciousness to experience a finite conscious existence.

But then changed my mind about that. I now think the body and mind are inseparably one unitary function, and that there is simply no function without both body and mind existing at the same instance of conscious experience.

I don't know what this life is either (dream? creative choice? simulation?), and I don't really care because the only thing I have any control over is making the best of it, right now... whatever it is. Seems like the better I get at surfing the waves , the less I get hit in the face with them. There are times, of course, when the waves toss me into the sea, and I have to find ways to keep myself afloat until I can surf again.

I'm curious about what you said...

I want to feel everything I feel, just for the experience, even if that includes feeling the sensations of depths of deep despair.

I want to just try and endure it on my own without any consciousness/brain chemical altering drug to change the way I feel.

So, why is this different than all the other discomforts in life that you seek to ease/soften? For example, you probably cover up if you're cold... or remove your shoes if they hurt... and avoid driving your car if it has a flat tire? You could choose to experience and feel these sensations too, but do you?

How can you know how things might shift for your brain/conscious experience -- or is that what you might be resistant to? If there's nothing all that serious or permanent about this experience and these bodies, why not ease our despair and discomforts while we're here?

[vegetariantaxidermy]

This is what happens in NZ when women try to speak. Video of the event is hard to find because for 'some reason' there was a complete media blockout of it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3s4Ezk ... tBirdyRose

I watched this, all of it. I never knew this was going on in the world, and now I feel so stupid for judging your reactions to this...and for asking you what you are so angry about and what exactly are you fighting for. Now I see more clearly.
I am an idiot veggie, I admit it.

The video is shocking, in fact I am shocked that I'm shocked as I thought there was nothing in this world that shocked me, but this did, at what is happening to our humanity, and that the very idea of there wanting to be genderless society is becoming the new normal is I guess just nature wanting to experience a huge paradigm shift towards total gender equality, and that the process that is unfolding before our eyes right now, is obviously causing an extreme amount of confusion and misery as to what the heck is going on between the opposite sexes, as they battle against each other for dominance, privilege, status, position and power. But I've heard it said many time that we are indeed living in interesting times, and often change is very difficult to accept.

That's only my guess as to what's happening here, I could be wrong or really off track, to which I can only apologise.

You aren't wrong. In fact you are spot on except that all the 'dominance and status' is being claimed by one side. Eliminate the word 'gender' from your vocabulary and you will see what I mean.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

How do they talk about women when there are no women around?

Not like in that video, or in any way consistent with that video.

What about Trump's 'locker room talk'? Don't worry about it. We know.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Just heard that Kellie-Jay Keen (Posie Parker) won't be coming to NZ after all because she considers it too dangerous. Too many death threats. JFC. So much for the 'clean green Utopia down under' myth.

[Walker]

Do you have male friends? How do they talk about women when there are no women around?

Not like in that video*, or in any way consistent with that video.

What about Trump's 'locker room talk'?

I never met Trump but as with other men, it’s likely he would not disparage women while talking to me.


* shouting while physically attempting to attack that cute little blonde lady.

[Walker]

Just heard that Kellie-Jay Keen (Posie Parker) won't be coming to NZ after all because she considers it too dangerous. Too many death threats. JFC. So much for the 'clean green Utopia down under' myth.

That's understandable, seeing as how NZ folks are such thugs.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Just heard that Kellie-Jay Keen (Posie Parker) won't be coming to NZ after all because she considers it too dangerous. Too many death threats. JFC. So much for the 'clean green Utopia down under' myth.

That's understandable, seeing as how NZ folks are such thugs.

Yep.