Dontaskme wrote: ↑Tue Jul 04, 2023 10:33 am
Iwannaplato wrote: ↑Tue Jul 04, 2023 8:45 am
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Tue Jul 04, 2023 8:40 am
Never get too attached to anyone
So, don't give birth and keep the child. Stifle feelings of love for others or avoid those you love or might love. Judge your own desires.
My my, you really are hardwork Iwannaplato.
Feelings of like or dislike, love or hate, is pure raw emotion, which just happens to arise in all of us quite spontaneously.
None of us have any control over these emotional outbursts of feeling in any given moment of time. Not one of us can control how and when they arise, and choose to have one feeling over another in favour of one taking on more importance than the other, this is impossible to do, nor can you make stop or make preferred feeling happen, you can only have control over how you react to each and every feeling when and if it arises, which is always spontaneous, and without intention or force. Forced or intended feelings are fake and never real and raw in the immediate moment.
To welcome every emotion and feeling without rejection or fear, is the capacity to love unconditionally, the being that you naturally are, and it is to realise that only you stay with you, while other's in your life, often come and go, they are never a permanent fixture in your life, like you are to yourself. You do not at any time own anyone else, but yourself. To think you own your own children is a grave mistake, it's like admiring a butterfly that has willingly landed on your hand, and then held onto it's beauty so tight, that you've crushed it. The butterfly needs to fly, and be let go of, because it deserves it's own freedom to be, just as you do.
No one else is your property to possess or have control over, everyone is a free thinking creative unique being, to be themselves in their own right, in which ever way shape and form they choose to be, in every moment, and it's never your job to try and manipulate,influence or change or mold them into something they do not wish to be, just because others think that's what is best for them, no, only what's best for ourselves, the model we individually choose to become, is the only thing that matters to each and every one of us.
If a child we have given birth to then chooses to say I don't want to be alive, then that child has every right to feel this way, there is nothing a parent can do to make that child want to live, if it doesn't want to. Attachment is simply suffering for you, not the other person. You can love others without ever getting attached to them. That is known as unconditional love, the freedom to allow others to be their own person as they see themselves, and not what you want them to be, or see them as being.
We already must know that our children even before they are born are not always going to meet with our own expectation of them. And we should honor and respect that, even before they are born, so that when they are born, we will allow them to be who and what they are, with total unconditional love for them.