You are not alone with these thoughts.Gary Childress wrote: ↑Sat Feb 18, 2023 8:09 am All I know about Christianity can be summed up by the following: All I want is for God to grant me a peaceful death in my sleep. The sooner, the better. I can't take his world anymore. Just get it over with.
Malcontents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEvuH4VpBsU Metaphysical Exile.
In this essay, I discuss how almost everyone is dissatisfied with the world of becoming. Religious optimists, religious ascetics, unbelievers who create their own meaning, unbelievers who reject the illusion and existence: they all started their careers realizing that there was something wrong or strange with reality.