free will: yep, another thread about 'that'...

[Dontaskme]

You CLAIMED that you can NOT even KNOW if the thoughts, of your very OWN children, are genuine or not. But now you seem SURPRISED that "others", on a forum of all places like this one, when they question 'you' if about your thoughts being genuine or not.

That's right, I cannot know the thoughts of my own children. I'm not interested whether other people question my thoughts as being genuine or not, because only I can know whether my own thoughts are genuine or not. Other people can believe my thoughts are genuine, or they can disbelieve my thoughts are genuine, but that will not change the fact that only I can know my thoughts are genuine, and that's all that I care about, other people can choose to believe what they want about what my thoughts are, I simply just express them with all the honesty I can muster with every fibre of my being, the being that I can only think and imagine to have, even if those thoughts are also seen as being illusions. The illusion is still a real illusion, in fact it is my genuine thought that an illusion can know it is an illusion, so that's my story, and I'm sticking to it, whether you there believe it or not.

[Dontaskme]

Well if 'you', adult human beings, STOP making 'suffering' apart of yours and children's lives, then 'suffering' would NEVER exist ANYMORE.

No one is making the known reality that life is pain and suffering. The sensation of pain is self arising, it is not personal, but can only appear to feel as if it's personal. I do not think pain knows it is pain...pain just is... pain does not have any intent or reason to be other than to alert the body something is wrong, but that's not the issue that I am talking about.

I'm talking about the reality of sentient feeling organisms that know the sensation of pain can feel personal that's all, but in reality it's just what sentient life is composed of, and I just happen to think it's a stupid experience to have to endure, although I can no more stop pain from happening, because if I could stop it, I would stop recreating a being capable of feeling it... but the irony is... I DO KNOW the sensation of pain, and I do know that the only way I can stop it, is if I prevent more of it from being known, by not reproducing more sentient feeling beings to experience the pain that I know, as well.

And, getting rid of 'pain' altogether is a STUPID IDEA. As pain is NEEDED for continual survival. As I have ALREADY EXPLAINED.

I am talking about not imposing it on the unborn...
Of course pain is needed to ensure the continuity of sentient survival, that's not what I am talking about. I'm talking about prevention rather than a complete cure or the permanent eradication of pain, which is impossible.

Hey, if you don't mind enduring pain by being born then be my guest, but I just happen to think it's a dumb idea to create sentient living organisms that can feel pain.


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[Dontaskme]

That is GREAT. Pity though you could NEVER Truly ENJOY that 'mentally balanced' feeling while you are WISHING you were NEVER experiencing that feeling.

But this is where people like you make a grave error in your thinking, you are projecting an idea that wishing one was never born can make the one born feel as though they are never truly enjoying their mixing bowl of thoughts and feelings, as if they were supposed to feel joy else they would be miserable as fuck...but the reality is for me here, is that I absolutely one hundred percent can enjoy the feelings of wishing I was never born, and the feeling of being as miserable as fuck, and that is what seems to appear to go right over your head. Simply because it seems you project your own thoughts and feelings that is pity as if that pity belonged to someone else, namely me. For your information, I enjoy wallowing in self pity, it's actually very liberating and delicious to me.

I actually enjoy hating sentience feeling aliveness with a passion. To me, life is one endless mindfuck, that will be over all too soon, until I arise again, then the whole cycle will recommence.

Jesus already showed us that death is an illusion by rising again...the mindfuckery knows no end, because it never began.

It's ok to enjoy hating being alive in my humble opinion, so please stop telling me how to live my life you absolute imbecile.

It's also ok to not enjoy being dead, by pretending to be alive. Only I can know I am pretending to like or dislike life, it's really no one elses business except mine how I choose to think about life, and how I live that life I think I am choosing even though I know it's all an illusion anyway.

.

[Dontaskme]

How, EXACTLY, is being DEAD, inside, feeling AT ONE with LIVING Nature, Itself?

I do not know HOW... I just feel these thoughts, that's all, how I feel them I do not know.

To me, I have these thoughts that death and being alive are exactly the same one state of being...don't ask me how that is so, it just is for me, ok

Experiences for me, are just like passing clouds, one minute I'm here observing these images and experiences, and the next minute these images and experiences have disappeared, then the next minute the images and experiences appear again, and on an on this continues ....

I feel a sensation of being that is awareness is not moving or ageing at all, it seems only what appears to be my flesh is ageing and moving, which I associate as being those passing clouds...but the awareness of those passing clouds appear to feel like it's timeless and unborn, like being dead and alive at the same time. But then that's just conceptual knowing, in reality no thing is alive or dead... in my experience anyway, I'm not saying other people feel this way, I'm saying that's how it feels to me.

And that's what I mean by being at one with nature, for there is only nature in my experience.

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[Dontaskme]

What do 'they' think AND feel, EXACTLY, about 'you' 'feeling pain' FOR 'THEM', for you bringing 'them' into Life, and Existence, Itself?

I do not know what they feel and think about being alive. I only know what I think about being alive. And part of my knowing is knowing I have created a life form that is capable of experiencing the pain and suffering that is sentience. I have no idea what these creations are thinking and feeling about their own sensations of what is feels like to be alive.

[Dontaskme]

I FOUND that PRETENDING to be NUMB, NEVER Truly WORKED, and that NOT allowing ANY thing to EFFECT 'me' is what REALLY WORKS.

Great for you, but for me, feeling numb about life works perfectly and is very liberating for me.

Feeling numb to me, just means to me, not allowing anything to effect me. Even though effects are felt in a very tangible way sometimes, they never overwhelm me, and I do not feel as though they make any difference to my overall well being that generally doesn't change. I mean I can feel great sadness and sorrow and cry because of a situation that happens, but as long as I allow the emotion to be there, without resistence ..I can at the same time just watch the emotion pass away as though it never happened.

[Dontaskme]

I do not think it is my place to discuss the private thoughts of my children on the internet Henry.

Are those 'thoughts' so-called "private" because they CHOSE them to be OR because you are making those 'thoughts' "private" here?

I really do not understand how you don't understand why I use the terminology ''private thoughts''. I repeat, ones thoughts are private to the owner of those thoughts. Again, it is not my place to share thoughts that I cannot know because I simply DO NOT know what my children are thinking....is that clear?

Mainly due to the fact that I could not possibly know whether their thoughts are to be genuine or not.

Yes, one can ONLY KNOW when 'thoughts' are genuine and true WHEN one has FULL Trust, Respect, Understanding, Empathy, Loyalty (Honesty) and Openness, with Voluntary Enthusiam with and for EVERY one.

No Age, I simply do not believe this utopian fantasy of yours that we can all be trusting of one another, I simply can't believe your idea could ever be a reality, it is my opinion that we can never trust another human being ever, they are their own being and as I have experienced many times, other people are extremely unpredictable...Im my world view, which is self-preservation, I can only trust my own personal being.

Experience has shown me never to trust another thinking organism. Children are trusting of others only because they have limited life experience, and is why they are sometimes treated as just pure objects of pleasure because they are easily able to be manipulated into believing just about anything they are told...Which, by the way is also what love is, as well, because love is unconditionally free to express itself in which ever form it so desires. That's why child abuse is so common, because the molestation of children is another form of pleasure for the adult who is experienced enough to know how to play the role of pretence. A child will always be the perfect victim for the abuser, because children do not pretend, as they tend to live in the moment, where their reality is always raw pure and genuine.

I can only discuss my own genuine thoughts about reality,

But according to your "logic" above here, we could NOT possibly KNOW whether your thoughts are to be genuine or not.

In fact the 'thought' and CLAIM you just SHARED here could be the MOST NON genuine thought there is, for all we KNOW, correct?

I repeat, I do not care whether or what others know about my thoughts, as far as I know, no other knows my thoughts, only I know my thoughts. Others can hear my thoughts in the form of words they are reading, but then it's up to the reader to interpret those thoughts as they see them and then apply their own meaning as to what they themself believe them to be.

simply because I am the one who knows these thoughts as being a first person direct experience that seems real and genuine for me, I personally come from a place of pure honesty.

But you could just be completely AND utterly DISINGENUOUS here. Again, for all we KNOW, correct?

I could be according to someone else reading my thoughts via the words I write, but then they will never actually know for certain, only I would know for certain, not them.

[Dontaskme]

But 'you' can 'try' as much as you like to say some 'thing', but what thee ACTUAL Truth is can STILL be SEEN here.

You can CLAIM to NOT care till the day that body stops breathing and pumping blood. BUT, the Fact that you will NOT STOP 'trying' and 'trying' to be EXPRESS and BE HEARD SHOWS and REVEALS just how much you Truly DO CARE.

I write on this forum for one reason only, and that is because I can, and because I am allowed to do so. So I do.

And what I write about are my own thoughts about life as a sentient organism. For me, there is nothing more to it than that, I write here because it's something to do, that I enjoy doing. I simply do not care one iota how what I write here on this forum is perceived by the readers, I really don't care about that. So stop acting like you are some kind of super dooper forum psychotherapist that knows what other people are actually feeling and pretending like you know why they are feeling and pretending you have some higher wisdom in the form of what can only be your own ideas that you pretend is good advice as to how to fix what does not align with your own way of thinking. Seriously Age, I'd rather kill myself than be the entity that is your mind. I really do like my own being and mind, even when I'm hating it, I love it, and I will never in a million years ever want to trade it for any other mind if my life depended on it.

I'm writing on this forum for my own selfish self-indulgent pleasure and benefit, and not for any other reason. I care not about being heard. I am only entertaining myself. I will continue to write on this forum until I am ordered not to do it anymore. If I never receive a reply then that's just what happens, but I absolutely do not care whether or not that happens, and I certainly don't give a damn about having my expressions heard, as you put it...I mean what sort of a weirdo would even say something like that. FFS

Also I am not trying do be heard as you put it, what kind of a creepy weirdo would assume something like that.

Have 'you' ever heard me SAY that;

Absolutely EVERY thing is relative to the observer?

If you have, then who AND what thee 'observer' is, EXACTLY, makes a LOT of DIFFERENCE.

All ideas about reality are relative to the observer. That is known by anyone with half a brain, and this one is an absolute known to me, that one to me here, is known as pure absolute emptiness in which everything arises inseparable from it..

Believe that or not, I do not care two hoots, for it's my truth, that I will take to my grave.

[Age]

You CLAIMED that you can NOT even KNOW if the thoughts, of your very OWN children, are genuine or not. But now you seem SURPRISED that "others", on a forum of all places like this one, when they question 'you' if about your thoughts being genuine or not.

That's right, I cannot know the thoughts of my own children.

PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, READ thee ACTUAL WORDS that I WRITE and USE here.

I NEVER mentioned ANY thing about you being about to knot the thoughts of your own children, or not.

There is NOTHING in what I CLEARLY WROTE that mentions or talks about ANY thing like that.

If ANY one WONDERS WHY I cam continually seeking to learn how to be BETTER UNDERSTOOD by human beings, in the days when this was being written, then here is a PRIME EXAMPLE of WHY I REALLY do NEED to continue learning.

I can NOT even say the words above here, in PLAIN SIMPLE, VERY CLEAR, PRINTED LETTERS, without them WORDS be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY MISINTERPRET and MISCONSTRUED.

What I ACTUALLY SAID can be CLEARLY SEEN, but how some of the people, in those days, took what I SAID what in ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT OTHER WAY. And, in A WAY that I NEVER even ACTUALLY SAID, nor MEANT. As can be CLEARLY SEEN here.

I'm not interested whether other people question my thoughts as being genuine or not, because only I can know whether my own thoughts are genuine or not.

NOT ALWAYS. As I have CLEARLY PROVED True here ALREADY.

Other people can believe my thoughts are genuine, or they can disbelieve my thoughts are genuine, but that will not change the fact that only I can know my thoughts are genuine, and that's all that I care about, other people can choose to believe what they want about what my thoughts are, I simply just express them with all the honesty I can muster with every fibre of my being, the being that I can only think and imagine to have, even if those thoughts are also seen as being illusions.

But you have TOLD us that thoughts within that head ARE ILLUSIONS. So, was this GENUINE or NOT?

Also, you CLAIM people can either BELIEVE or DISBELIEVE your thoughts are genuine, BUT there is ANOTHER option, which is what I do.

The illusion is still a real illusion, in fact it is my genuine thought that an illusion can know it is an illusion, so that's my story, and I'm sticking to it, whether you there believe it or not.

[Age]

Well if 'you', adult human beings, STOP making 'suffering' apart of yours and children's lives, then 'suffering' would NEVER exist ANYMORE.

No one is making the known reality that life is pain and suffering. The sensation of pain is self arising, it is not personal, but can only appear to feel as if it's personal. I do not think pain knows it is pain...pain just is... pain does not have any intent or reason to be other than to alert the body something is wrong, but that's not the issue that I am talking about.

I'm talking about the reality of sentient feeling organisms that know the sensation of pain can feel personal that's all, but in reality it's just what sentient life is composed of, and I just happen to think it's a stupid experience to have to endure, although I can no more stop pain from happening, because if I could stop it, I would stop recreating a being capable of feeling it... but the irony is... I DO KNOW the sensation of pain, and I do know that the only way I can stop it, is if I prevent more of it from being known, by not reproducing more sentient feeling beings to experience the pain that I know, as well.

But you even just said that; The reason of pain is to ALERT the body when something is WRONG.

So, for some thing as IMPORTANT as 'pain', then should be NO intention to EVER STOP or PREVENT 'pain' arising in the FIRST PLACE.

I suggest just ACCEPTING the 'things' that ARE NECESSARY, like 'pain', and AVOID, PREVENT, or STOP those 'things' that are UNNECESSARY, like 'abuse', which causes and creates UNNECESSARY 'pain', and 'suffering'.

And, getting rid of 'pain' altogether is a STUPID IDEA. As pain is NEEDED for continual survival. As I have ALREADY EXPLAINED.

I am talking about not imposing it on the unborn...

BUT the unborn, new born, and very young do NOT CARE about 'pain', like 'you', adults, do. They just ACCEPT 'it' as just a NORMAL and NATURAL part of Life, Itself.

It is ONLY when 'pain' is caused by and through the ABUSE, from 'you', adult human beings, then those younger ones REALLY DO START CARING. But, younger ones are NOT to weak to understand, NOR unable, to JUST ACCEPT that 'pain', caused by just living, properly AND correctly, is NATURAL and Truly UNDERSTANDABLE and ACCEPTABLE.

If children fall over and get scraps or breaks, for example, then they INSTINCTIVELY KNOW that that is just a NORMAL part of life, and living.

Of course pain is needed to ensure the continuity of sentient survival, that's not what I am talking about. I'm talking about prevention rather than a complete cure or the permanent eradication of pain, which is impossible.

Well if you think or BELIEVE ANY one can PREVENT human beings, or ANY other sentient life, from getting physically hurt, then you may be saddened to LEARN that that is just NOT going to happen.

But, PREVENTING 'you', adult human beings, from ABUSING children, life, or "yourselves" is some thing that CAN BE DONE, BETTER IF DONE, and WILL BE DONE.

Hey, if you don't mind enduring pain by being born then be my guest, but I just happen to think it's a dumb idea to create sentient living organisms that can feel pain.


.

WHY do you say that you THINK it is a "dumb idea" to create sentient living organisms that can feel 'pain' WHEN you also KNOW and say that 'pain' is to ALERT the body something is wrong?

This sounds like a VERY GOOD IDEA, to me.

What else do you think could be used to ALERT the body something is wrong? What could be used, besides 'pain', itself, for 'you' to become AWARE of and KNOW something is wrong?

[Age]

That is GREAT. Pity though you could NEVER Truly ENJOY that 'mentally balanced' feeling while you are WISHING you were NEVER experiencing that feeling.

But this is where people like you make a grave error in your thinking, you are projecting an idea that wishing one was never born can make the one born feel as though they are never truly enjoying their mixing bowl of thoughts and feelings, as if they were supposed to feel joy else they would be miserable as fuck...

But I was NEVER thinking 'that' NOR ever had that idea.

I suggest, ONCE AGAIN, you CLARIFY, BEFORE you ASSUME.

but the reality is for me here, is that I absolutely one hundred percent can enjoy the feelings of wishing I was never born, and the feeling of being as miserable as fuck, and that is what seems to appear to go right over your head.

But I NEVER suggested that you could NOT so-called "enjoy" being as so-called "miserable as fuck".

I have met lots of adult human beings who say, or act, like they "enjoy" being 'miserable'. But are they REALLY?

It appears to be an oxy-moron to CLAIM one is 'happy being miserable'. I will suggest some people 'try' to BLOCK their True feeling/emotions and do become accustomed to being 'miserable', and so appear to be more 'satisfied' with just being 'miserable' far more often than being Truly 'happy' AND 'content'.

But these people have this resultant 'condition' from just being ABUSED, in a particular, when they were younger.

Simply because it seems you project your own thoughts and feelings that is pity as if that pity belonged to someone else, namely me.

If you would EVER like to STOP ASSUMING, I am saying and meaning some thing that I am NOT by the way, then I will GLADLY answer, FULLY, ANY and ALL CLARIFYING QUESTIONS that you pose, AND ask me.

For your information, I enjoy wallowing in self pity, it's actually very liberating and delicious to me.

Okay, if you SAY SO.

I actually enjoy hating sentience feeling aliveness with a passion. To me, life is one endless mindfuck, that will be over all too soon, until I arise again, then the whole cycle will recommence.

How, EXACTLY, do 'you' think or BELIEVE that 'you' will 'arise again'?

LOL If you REALLY think that that is even possibility.

Jesus already showed us that death is an illusion by rising again...the mindfuckery knows no end, because it never began.

What the word 'jesus' just means and refers to in relation to 'that' is NOT 'that human being named jesus' rising again.

It's ok to enjoy hating being alive in my humble opinion, so please stop telling me how to live my life you absolute imbecile.

But I have NEVER even started telling 'you' how to live 'your life'. As is PROVED True above.

All I said was; 'You could NEVER Truly ENJOY that 'mentally balanced' feeling while you are WISHING you were NEVER experiencing that feeling'.

Every OTHER thing you have ASSUMED in what I was meaning above is just plain False, Wrong, AND Incorrect. Like just about ALL the ASSUMPTIONS that are made by 'you', posters, here in regards to what I am MEANING.

ONCE AGAIN, thee ONLY True way to KNOW what "another" is REALLY MEANING in what they say is through CLARIFYING. And, this can ONLY happen when the speaker/writer is STILL AROUND to answer CLARIFYING QUESTIONS posed to them.

WHY do you think 'you', human beings, can SEE two EXACT OPPOSITE 'things' when 'you' read the EXACT SAME writings, or LOOK AT the EXACT SAME picture. If you do NOT YET KNOW, then it is BECAUSE 'you' are MAKING UP ASSUMPTIONS about the True intention/meaning behind or in those ACTUAL WORDS or DRAWINGS.

But if ANY one wants to KNOW the True INTENTION/MEANING IN and BEHIND the WORDS written, or the PICTURE drawn, then just ASK the 'artist', from a Truly OPEN perspective.

But, OBVIOUSLY, this can NOT occur if the 'artist' is NOT around to ANSWER anymore.

t's also ok to not enjoy being dead, by pretending to be alive.

How can 'one' ACTUALLY 'pretend' to be alive?

Only I can know I am pretending to like or dislike life, it's really no one elses business except mine how I choose to think about life, and how I live that life I think I am choosing even though I know it's all an illusion anyway.

.

So, the CONTRADICTIONS continue.

[Age]

How, EXACTLY, is being DEAD, inside, feeling AT ONE with LIVING Nature, Itself?

I do not know HOW... I just feel these thoughts, that's all, how I feel them I do not know.

There is absolutely NOTHING that "feels thoughts".

There are either thoughts, just existing, or there is not.

To me, I have these thoughts that death and being alive are exactly the same one state of being...don't ask me how that is so, it just is for me, ok

HOW, and WHY, those (Truly ILLOGICAL by the way) thoughts arose, and exist, within that body is ALREADY WELL UNDERSTOOD.

Because of the ACTUAL past ABUSIVE experiences of what that body has HAD TO ENDURE, those sorts of thoughts are PERFECTLY NORMAL and NATURAL to arise, and exist.

Just like ALL the other ABSURD, NONSENSICAL, ILLOGICAL, and IDIOTIC thoughts that arise are because of those ACTUAL past ABUSIVE experiences. And just like when ALL "negative" emotions are the result of past those ACTUAL past ABUSIVE experiences.

Experiences for me, are just like passing clouds, one minute I'm here observing these images and experiences, and the next minute these images and experiences have disappeared, then the next minute the images and experiences appear again, and on an on this continues ....

HOW, and WHY, to you, could these images and experiences even start and stop, appear and disappear, or be on and off?

What you are 'trying to' say and talk about is DIFFERENT. And, if you are CURIOUS, then we WILL DISCUSS.

I feel a sensation of being that is awareness is not moving or ageing at all, it seems only what appears to be my flesh is ageing and moving, which I associate as being those passing clouds...

Yes I KNOW.

I ALSO ALREADY KNOW HOW and WHY this occurs.

In fact, EVERY thing that you are talking about here is ALREADY KNOWN, and, contrary to popular BELIEF, can be EXPLAINED, very easily, and be UNDERSTOOD, very simply.

but the awareness of those passing clouds appear to feel like it's timeless and unborn, like being dead and alive at the same time. But then that's just conceptual knowing, in reality no thing is alive or dead... in my experience anyway, I'm not saying other people feel this way, I'm saying that's how it feels to me.

Can 'you' Trust "your" feelings?

HOW, and WHY?

And, what are those feelings based on, EXACTLY?

And that's what I mean by being at one with nature, for there is only nature in my experience.

.

Okay, but your list of what there is ONLY One of is growing, which is also becoming MORE and MORE CONTRADICTORY.

[Age]

What do 'they' think AND feel, EXACTLY, about 'you' 'feeling pain' FOR 'THEM', for you bringing 'them' into Life, and Existence, Itself?

I do not know what they feel and think about being alive.

Have you NEVER asked them?

I only know what I think about being alive.

Which is all you really seem to care, and be concerned, about too, correct?

And part of my knowing is knowing I have created a life form that is capable of experiencing the pain and suffering that is sentience. I have no idea what these creations are thinking and feeling about their own sensations of what is feels like to be alive.

Okay.

How your own children think and feel, about their own sensations, you have not even considered about either?

[Age]

I FOUND that PRETENDING to be NUMB, NEVER Truly WORKED, and that NOT allowing ANY thing to EFFECT 'me' is what REALLY WORKS.

Great for you, but for me, feeling numb about life works perfectly and is very liberating for me.

Okay, if it works, for you, then that is what works, for you.

Feeling numb to me, just means to me, not allowing anything to effect me.

But it has been the 'pain' and the 'suffering' that you have been feeling, which has made you wish you were NEVER born, correct?

Even though effects are felt in a very tangible way sometimes, they never overwhelm me, and I do not feel as though they make any difference to my overall well being that generally doesn't change. I mean I can feel great sadness and sorrow and cry because of a situation that happens, but as long as I allow the emotion to be there, without resistence ..I can at the same time just watch the emotion pass away as though it never happened.

Okay.

[Dontaskme]

You CLAIMED that you can NOT even KNOW if the thoughts, of your very OWN children, are genuine or not. But now you seem SURPRISED that "others", on a forum of all places like this one, when they question 'you' if about your thoughts being genuine or not.

That's right, I cannot know the thoughts of my own children.

PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, READ thee ACTUAL WORDS that I WRITE and USE here.

I NEVER mentioned ANY thing about you being about to knot the thoughts of your own children, or not.

There is NOTHING in what I CLEARLY WROTE that mentions or talks about ANY thing like that.

If ANY one WONDERS WHY I cam continually seeking to learn how to be BETTER UNDERSTOOD by human beings, in the days when this was being written, then here is a PRIME EXAMPLE of WHY I REALLY do NEED to continue learning.

I can NOT even say the words above here, in PLAIN SIMPLE, VERY CLEAR, PRINTED LETTERS, without them WORDS be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY MISINTERPRET and MISCONSTRUED.

What I ACTUALLY SAID can be CLEARLY SEEN, but how some of the people, in those days, took what I SAID what in ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT OTHER WAY. And, in A WAY that I NEVER even ACTUALLY SAID, nor MEANT. As can be CLEARLY SEEN here.

Okay, no need to fret the small stuff, there's worse things going on in the world to sweat over, than to care about whether your words are being COMPLETELY and UTTERLY MISINTERPRET and MISCONSTRUED.

I personally don't care if my own words are not understood by the reader, for me, my mouth is like a waterfall, it just flows out in the moment ...sometimes it's as though I have some sort of ''Verbal Tourette Syndrome'' my mouth just overflows what my heart is full of. I make no apologies for how I express myself, I can only be myself in every moment.
I never regret anything I say, or care about how what I say is perceived by the reader, simply because once it's out, it's stays out, like spilt milk.

Unlike you, I am not interested in learning how to communicate with people, I gave that practice up years ago, when I realised other people will never understand me, no matter how much I hope they will, they never seem to get me.

So I'm just here on this forum to express my philosophical theories about the nature of reality, it's like some kind of hobby for me, like something to do, so to speak. I do not care if no one understands what I am talking about, or that I do not make sense, because to me, everything I write about makes total sense to me, and that makes me happy.