Searching For Santa

[Philosophy Now]

Sam Morris scatters solstice scepticism over the stories of the saint with the supersonic sleigh.

https://philosophynow.org/issues/70/Searching_For_Santa

[marjoram_blues]

It started in the pub...

[Hobbes' Choice]

I like it.
One for Walker, Nick A., Yios and IC.

Why do good kids get bad presents, and bad kids get good presents?

[Impenitent]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjaPXihbORk

-Imp

[Greta]

You can't disprove Santa!

[yiostheoy]

You can't disprove Santa!

I crept down out of bed one night and hid behind the couch and caught my dad putting the presents under the tree.

How much more proof do you want Greta?

[uwot]

I crept down out of bed one night and hid behind the couch and caught my dad putting the presents under the tree.

How much more proof do you want Greta?

You idiot! Santa took on the form of your father. If you actually saw the real Santa, you would have no need of faith. Don't you get it?

[Greta]

Don't worry about uwot - he's just talking about Santanists.

In my faith - the one true faith, Nichianity - good children don't stay up at night spying on their parents when they are supposed to be in bed. The real Santa only comes to true believers - the good children.

[Dalek Prime]

Don't worry about uwot - he's just talking about Santanists.

In my faith - the one true faith, Nichianity - good children don't stay up at night spying on their parents when they are supposed to be in bed. The real Santa only comes to true believers - the good children.

I left Nichianity after Santa told me he brought a bag of goodies, then dropped his trousers and showed me the bag. Dirty bastard.

[Greta]

Don't worry about uwot - he's just talking about Santanists.

In my faith - the one true faith, Nichianity - good children don't stay up at night spying on their parents when they are supposed to be in bed. The real Santa only comes to true believers - the good children.

I left Nichianity after Santa told me he brought a bag of goodies, then dropped his trousers and showed me the bag. Dirty bastard.

That was not Santa, just a dirty old man in funny clothes! In Santam, Santah is all-powerful, demanding and only respects straight men with beards. He especially dislikes infibells - children who don't believe that Santa flew to the north pole on a white reindeer. He demands that believers revisit their present list five times a day.

Santuism, on the other hand, has no actual Santa but many elves with different responsibilities. Some make the toys, some break up and recycle old toys, and some reside in spirit within all toys.

Contrast with subscribers to the Santao, who believe that the question of Santa is personal but otherwise irrelevant. Santa might or might not exist but, either way, it doesn’t make much difference. Chances are there won't be a tree or presents anyway.

[Dalek Prime]

Don't worry about uwot - he's just talking about Santanists.

In my faith - the one true faith, Nichianity - good children don't stay up at night spying on their parents when they are supposed to be in bed. The real Santa only comes to true believers - the good children.

I left Nichianity after Santa told me he brought a bag of goodies, then dropped his trousers and showed me the bag. Dirty bastard.

That was not Santa, just a dirty old man in funny clothes! In Santam, Santah is all-powerful, demanding and only respects straight men with beards. He especially dislikes infibells - children who don't believe that Santa flew to the north pole on a white reindeer. He demands that believers revisit their present list five times a day.

Santuism, on the other hand, has no actual Santa but many elves with different responsibilities. Some make the toys, some break up and recycle old toys, and some reside in spirit within all toys.

Contrast with subscribers to the Santao, who believe that the question of Santa is personal but otherwise irrelevant. Santa might or might not exist but, either way, it doesn’t make much difference. Chances are there won't be a tree or presents anyway.

I personally subscribe to Santeria, with children finding chicken blood and feet, and a few likenesses in doll form. The bigger the needles in the dolls, the better. They can pilfer the personal items they require on Boxing Day eg. Hair in a brush, nail clippings, etc. Hence Boxing Day; putting your enemies in a box.

[Greta]

That was not Santa, just a dirty old man in funny clothes! In Santam, Santah is all-powerful, demanding and only respects straight men with beards. He especially dislikes infibells - children who don't believe that Santa flew to the north pole on a white reindeer. He demands that believers revisit their present list five times a day.

Santuism, on the other hand, has no actual Santa but many elves with different responsibilities. Some make the toys, some break up and recycle old toys, and some reside in spirit within all toys.

Contrast with subscribers to the Santao, who believe that the question of Santa is personal but otherwise irrelevant. Santa might or might not exist but, either way, it doesn’t make much difference. Chances are there won't be a tree or presents anyway.

I personally subscribe to Santeria, with children finding chicken blood and feet, and a few likenesses in doll form. The bigger the needles in the dolls, the better. They can pilfer the personal items they require on Boxing Day eg. Hair in a brush, nail clippings, etc. Hence Boxing Day; putting your enemies in a box.

I like Santheism, personally, where there's a little bit of Santa in everything. Not to be confused with Sandeists, who believe that Santa started Christmas but thereafter left it to humanity to continue the tradition. I find Sanadu disturbing, the way they disco dance every Christmas, which they believe will keep the Grinch from stealing their presents for eternity.

[Dalek Prime]

But what are your thoughts on Sanseism (literally, 'without' presents)? I here Jehovah's Witnesses subscribe to it. It strikes me as cheap and mean spirited... Of course, the Sandinistas completely took over Nicaragua, and it's now a theocracy (One Santa to rule them all.)

Did you know that Santa resides in Canada, btw? I know this, because his postal code is H0H 0H0. I also heard he's converted to Islam, hence he's been put on the 'no fly' list, and NORAD has been instructed to shoot his sleigh down, on sighting. (He commutes between here, and Nicaragua.)