Age wrote:Also, because of 'generational child abuse' ALL of 'you', adult human beings, have a BELIEF that; "If MY RULES a 'disobeyed', then you WILL BE PUNISHED".
'you', adults, HAVE and HOLD this BELIEF and SAY this, now, because this is what 'you' ALL CONTINUALLY heard as children.
When 'you' STOP BELIEVING, "If you do NOT do as I TELL YOU, then you WILL BE PUNISHED", then those that ARE 'above you' WILL EVENTUALLY STOP having and HOLDING 'this BELIEF', ALSO.
For your sincere offerings, you deserve some attention-time on that frequency.
Interesting. I’ve also discovered a variation of this exact quoted thought, in the past. Since you discovered the thought, and I discovered the gist independently of you, I figure most everyone else has also discovered it. Thus the variable is what gets done with it, attention-wise, and philosophically.
There are exceptions, of course. It’s a tendency that doesn’t apply to every relationship interaction within the parent/child relationship, of course. Some parents rarely use bunker-buster persuasion, but to your point yes, it is used.
But this isn’t really the focus of your comment, is it. Your point is larger, and it involves the principle.
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The thing is, this tendency you describe isn’t just from parent to child. The adult parent doesn’t drop the principle just because the methods that are used on a child, which can be blunt force after persuasion and patience fails, are different than methods used in the rest of the adult’s daily life.
The adult parent continues to use the principle on other adults, applied according to methods determined by the receiving adult’s capacity to be affected.
The principle is also used among nations, the method determined by its effectiveness. This I think, is your focus, considering the situation of the thread title.
What is the principle? It’s simple, of course. True principles are simple. The principle is, NO.
As you describe, all parents use the principle in child-rearing to varying degrees, sometimes needlessly. That’s the purest form of the principle, clearly obvious, stripped down, and applied during the formative years. And, you are correct in that it becomes ingrained, although you didn’t express it exactly as such. NO becomes a habit, and it is a bounded view of reality. The boundary is arbitrary.
Adult to adult, NO is called invalidation and permeates or flavours most every interaction. NO will work its way into every conversation if the conversation lasts more than a few clichés and sound bites, and certainly it’s active in those tuned to debate and attempts to scientifically falsify an hypothesis.
Depending on the nature of the relationship, invalidation, which is the adult method of applying the NO Principle, can be called contrariness, verbal jousting, trash talk, debate, Socratic-dialogue-applied-to-legal-truth-seeking, libel, slander, and so on. It can be called self-sabotage. It can even be called transmission-sabotage by making the vehicle of the message less than transparent when known alternatives are available.
The principle of invalidation is woven into the fabric of modern life.
Those who always agree grow weary of the peace. Conflict is essential to growth. Pressure creates the diamond. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. And so on.
Nation-to-Nation? Invalidation is also conducted, in Nation-to-Nation methods. In the extreme, War.
This is why deal makers who know the psychology of the deal make good presidents. They’re not warriors out to conquer other nations, which is how they are viewed by those licensed to inspect from arm-chairs, and couches when the chair grows too small, inspectors who are conditioned from childhood to The Principle of Invalidation, that permeates so much of life, and is reinforced by so much media commentary passing itself off as news in airports, public places, and even government-school classrooms.
Deal makers are out for the Win-Win.
They build infrastructure. Civilization.
They are not destroyers or conquerors.
Some can even make
Deal-Making into such an
Art, so that peace and prosperity reign during their tenure.
