Love

[Pluto]

As duszek has insightfully noted, my situation as described at top of this thread, could be described as a form of infatuation. As it stands now I feel less insane about it, the feelings have ebbed somewhat. This is good. A date has been set where I may see her again, and here I will tread carefully and see what manifests itself. No matter what happens, a thread entitled 'Love' on a philosophy forum would not be a total waste of space and time.

[artisticsolution]

As usual, Chaz thinks he knows women better than they know themselves.

Relying on your 'all man are bastards' prejudice as usual.

Not "all" men...just you.

[chaz wyman]

As usual, Chaz thinks he knows women better than they know themselves.

Relying on your 'all man are bastards' prejudice as usual.

Not "all" men...just you.

Since you don't know me, I'll stick to my observation.

[chaz wyman]

As duszek has insightfully noted, my situation as described at top of this thread, could be described as a form of infatuation. As it stands now I feel less insane about it, the feelings have ebbed somewhat. This is good. A date has been set where I may see her again, and here I will tread carefully and see what manifests itself. No matter what happens, a thread entitled 'Love' on a philosophy forum would not be a total waste of space and time.

I don't think infatuation is a valuable way of looking at the situation as it implies a thing of little worth; an attraction that is definitely meaningless. She might turn out to be the most important thing in your life.
Good Luck anyway.

[artisticsolution]

Other scenarios are also possible, AS:

the woman starts taking the man for granted and presses him out like a lemon.

I would put stress on what you do and say because these will be remembered until one of the two dies or gets Alzheimer.
You can control these and thus shape a relationship, make things happen or not happen.

Yes duszek,

Many scenarios are possible, I was just giving Chaz a couple of different one's as he seems to think that just because a woman is not interested in first glance doesn't mean she won't change her mind.

I am not sure what you mean by things will be remembered til one of the two dies...do you mean that anything someone says will be cherished or not depending...until death do they part? I am not sure about that one. I have been married 20+ years and I don't remember much...lol...but then I have a bad memory. All I know is that my husband's soul is a good one...so he remains consistently pretty much the guy I fell in love with....however, I am also a very forgiving person...so I would not hold anything that he said in the past against him...that coupled with the fact that I forget so easily...makes me see him as a almost perfect human...lol.

When you say "control" a relationship...I see that as being manipulative. And I agree...we all manipulate at one time or another...however what I was talking about is the fact that most people can't usually keep up a charade for a year. So if a guy charmed a woman by being nice...she might fall in love too quickly with a scoundrel who is fooling her to get in her pants. But I would say if the guy was consistent in his kindness for a long time...then you are pretty much guaranteed he's just a nice sincere guy.

I notice that people want to rush love...and while I can understand instant gratification, I would be leery of "magic." I would hold back and see if the "magic" lasted....that way I could take my time being courted and see how much the guy is really interested. Will he soon grow bored of waiting and find the next "Magic" moment or will he be genuine? That's when you know the magic is real.

[artisticsolution]

Since you don't know me, I'll stick to my observation.

Ditto

[chaz wyman]

Since you don't know me, I'll stick to my observation.

Ditto

If you can't see the difference, then you need to get a life.

[artisticsolution]

As duszek has insightfully noted, my situation as described at top of this thread, could be described as a form of infatuation. As it stands now I feel less insane about it, the feelings have ebbed somewhat. This is good. A date has been set where I may see her again, and here I will tread carefully and see what manifests itself. No matter what happens, a thread entitled 'Love' on a philosophy forum would not be a total waste of space and time.

It never hurts to give a person a genuine compliment. Just don't gush (not that I think you will...you seem like the strong silent type to me) anyway, Allow her to get a hint of who you are and then politely go about your business (unless of course she engages you in conversation.) Even if she wasn't previously interested...the compliment and your polite interest in something else will pique her curiosity. She may ask someone about you. I remember in my youth when a couple of times men just came up to me in passing and handed me a rose or gave me a compliment and then just disappeared out of my life...I always thought about them. However, it was just when I was out and about so I had no way of finding out more about them. Had it been at a function with friends...I would have asked my friends who he was and if they would introduce me properly. Give her a little bit of YOUR noble spirit like she gave you....make it so she is thinking about you too! Good luck!

[artisticsolution]

Since you don't know me, I'll stick to my observation.

Ditto

If you can't see the difference, then you need to get a life.

I was thinking the same thing about you.

[Pluto]

As duszek has insightfully noted, my situation as described at top of this thread, could be described as a form of infatuation. As it stands now I feel less insane about it, the feelings have ebbed somewhat. This is good. A date has been set where I may see her again, and here I will tread carefully and see what manifests itself. No matter what happens, a thread entitled 'Love' on a philosophy forum would not be a total waste of space and time.

I don't think infatuation is a valuable way of looking at the situation as it implies a thing of little worth; an attraction that is definitely meaningless. She might turn out to be the most important thing in your life.
Good Luck anyway.

Thanks.
Actually, I was wondering about the dictionary meaning of 'infatuation', which reads something like, 'foolish and without reason' - but, why foolish, why without reason, etc.

[Arising_uk]

As usual, Chaz thinks he knows women better than they know themselves. ...

However, most men will not wait that long for a "hope and a prayer" and would rather do the "love the one your with" thing. ...

Apparently whats not good for the gander is for the goose?

[artisticsolution]

As usual, Chaz thinks he knows women better than they know themselves. ...

However, most men will not wait that long for a "hope and a prayer" and would rather do the "love the one your with" thing. ...

Apparently whats not good for the gander is for the goose?

I see your point. But there is a big distinction there. Chaz is trying to tell me that what I have experienced as a woman is bollocks. I am telling him that it has been my experience as a woman that *most* men will not wait for a year or longer or shorter for that matter to try and convince a woman that he loves her, it has been my experience that most men would prefer to think that the women is a "lost cause" as far as romantic feelings are concerned and he then moves on to greener pastures where he may find "easier" love. Mind you I don't necessarily mean easier sex. I mean a woman who is ripe for love now instead of having to be convinced or wooed into understanding love on a deeper level.

I would like it if you could occasionally take my words as just an observation instead of always taking them as a negative connotation toward men. I think you and chaz are both sensitive to me saying anything "bad" about men even though, it could very well be true. Now tell me....how many men do you know who will keep trying to woo a girl after a year of being told "NO?" I would think that it was a given that most men would simply take no as a no and move on...very few would keep hoping she would change he mind and stick around trying...and the ones who would stick around might be prone to stalker mentality where they make getting her into some torture filled siege of pleading, begging, insults and worse...which I think we all can agree is not love. But then it has been my experience is there are a few who are respectful...and strong...and kind...who will just be themselves patiently...no pushing...no torturous stalking...and simply wait for her to be ready to come to him...on her terms, not his. Now tell me truthfully, how many men do you know who would or could do this?

Here where I live they are so rare that I have only known 1 or 2. But I am sure...you being a man...would know more. But then ask yourself this...do you only think you know more because you are a man and another man would let down his guard around you....imagine that you are a woman...might a man behave differently around a woman instead of another man? Do you think a player would act like a player around you if he was not interested in getting in your pants? Do you suppose there is an instance where I could have a unique perspective of men....since I am a woman?

Think about your friends for a moment. If they are wont to bed a girl....do most of them behave around that woman as they do around you? Even pluto seemed to have reservations about how he should act or what he should do...do you think he would have those same reservations around a man he was not interested in except for friendship?

Do you understand what I am trying to get at? My question is...do you think it is possible that you are seeing men in a more positive light since you are not a woman? Do you think you may see a different side of man if you were a woman? How would you know?

[Pluto]

Even pluto...

What's with the 'Even'?

[artisticsolution]

LOL Sorry pluto...didn't mean it that way...meant it like...even someone who really is kind and genuinely like the girl might not act the same way in front of her as he would in front of another guy.

[Pluto]

I see, okay. Thanks.