purity rings for girls but not for boys wtf

[John]

note in practice some of the worst sluts at my school wear purity rings

You're choice of words is interesting. Unless you're attemtping to rehabilitate the word "slut" you may share more of your communities attitudes than you care to admit.

[chaz wyman]

Everytime you post I think of The Village.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368447/

Have you seen it?

havent seen it but it does look interesting

but we have no little people living in the woods here

The film is an allegory of the USA. The people in the village are kept in check by the fear of the outside just like your government has done with its war on terror and various security alerts.
That is not exactly why it makes me think of you - that's more like they live like Shakers, Quakers, and what are those German people who still live in the 17thC?
You seem to live in your own little world and tend to think standard thoughts which reflect the received wisdom. There are glimmers of rebellion in you but they are more than mitigated by your conventional thinking. I'm trying not to be insulting, because I think you can break out and think more openly about yourself and your condition.

[chaz wyman]

note in practice some of the worst sluts at my school wear purity rings

You're choice of words is interesting. Unless you're attemtping to rehabilitate the word "slut" you may share more of your communities attitudes than you care to admit.

Well spotted. A clear example of reflexive thinking methinks.

[Kayla]

well i would love to see slut becoming a gender neutral word

there is no reason to regard being a slut as morally different depending on whether a girl or a guy is a slut

everyone to some extent or another holds the values of their community and of their upbringing

i am not sure what your problem with referring to someone as a slut is

yes it is not a complimentary thing to call someone but then, being a slut is not a good thing

it might not be wrong in the same sense as hurting other people for fun is wrong, but it is certainly not a good idea

[Kayla]

i would like to add that whether or not i disapprove of people being sluts people who are sexually active need to know how to minimize the chances of getting an Std or getting (or getting someone) pregnant etc

everyone sluts or not needs real sex education not the abstinence only idiocy

[chaz wyman]

well i would love to see slut becoming a gender neutral word

there is no reason to regard being a slut as morally different depending on whether a girl or a guy is a slut

everyone to some extent or another holds the values of their community and of their upbringing

i am not sure what your problem with referring to someone as a slut is

yes it is not a complimentary thing to call someone but then, being a slut is not a good thing

it might not be wrong in the same sense as hurting other people for fun is wrong, but it is certainly not a good idea

You'll just have to start calling guys sluts, won't you? Start a trend.
But don't be surprised if they respond by calling you a frigid, prurient little puritan!

[chaz wyman]

i would like to add that whether or not i disapprove of people being sluts people who are sexually active need to know how to minimize the chances of getting an Std or getting (or getting someone) pregnant etc

everyone sluts or not needs real sex education not the abstinence only idiocy

So you're a virgin?

On the question of purity rings for girls - they have something to protect, boys don't.

[John]

well i would love to see slut becoming a gender neutral word

there is no reason to regard being a slut as morally different depending on whether a girl or a guy is a slut

everyone to some extent or another holds the values of their community and of their upbringing

i am not sure what your problem with referring to someone as a slut is

yes it is not a complimentary thing to call someone but then, being a slut is not a good thing

it might not be wrong in the same sense as hurting other people for fun is wrong, but it is certainly not a good idea

I wasn't referring to whether you saw it in gender terms. I was referring to the way that you have a tendency to refer to the small minded attitude of the members of your community when you probably hold pretty similar attitudes yourself (which you agreed with above).

And what's wrong with calling someone a slut, in my opinion at least, is that's it's a pejorative term imposing your moral framework on others and judging them on things they do in private that have no relevance to you. We all have a tendency to project our moral frameworks, deliberately or otherwise, but I don't know why some people insist on taking an interest in the things others do in private.

[artisticsolution]

We all have a tendency to project our moral frameworks, deliberately or otherwise, but I don't know why some people insist on taking an interest in the things others do in private.

I think we do this in order to prove to ourselves we are good vs. evil.

I think it's too much effort to work on our own shortcomings and too painful to think of ourselves as "evil" so we need to find a scapegoat so we don't have to examine our own 'sins.'

I remember once as a child being forced to go to confession. I told my mom that I had been good and had nothing to confess. I was completely convinced that I was without sin. That is until she did me the favor of reciting back to me every "bad" thing I did that week....I talked back to her....I told a lie that I had cleaned my room when I hadn't.... etc.

I was amazed that I was not innocent! I was convinced I was good! But she was right....I had done all those things!

So I went in and confessed my sins to the priest and got 3 hail mary's and something else...I forget...anyway it kept me busy...so I could not think about the sins of the 'evil' person kneeling beside me reciting their own hail mary!

[Kayla]

what people do in private can have an effect beyond the private sphere

it certainly can have the potential to cause them harm

i have a friend who is umm.... promiscuous ... is that a better word?

over the past year she had two pregnancy scares

found out that one boy she was occasionally fucking was referring to her as the cumdumpster when talking to his friends

had too much drama when she and her guy-slut of the week or day or whatever ended up not being on the same page regarding the nature of their relationship - and in some cases her or the boy or both were hurt

she is on the pill which is causing her to gain weight

she was slender and pretty in grade 9 and at this rate she is going to be a fat cow by grade 12

and the pill in general is unhealthy when a girl who has not finished developing is taking it

what she is doing is harming her which might be a matter of prudence rather than morality but the negative effects are not confined to her

so moral condemnation is appropriate

this does not mean that it is appropriate to lock her up in her room and never let her out or otherwise punish her that would not work anyway

and i am sure the guys here know what guys say about girls they have casual hookups with

i have heard guys talk about the girls they casually fuck and i do not understand why any girl would want to have casual sex with a guy - by sitting very still and sticking my nose in a book I can become invisible especially to teenage boys who are not very aware of their surroundings at the best of times anyway - and i get to hear all sorts of interesting things this way

it is interesting that it is invariably guys who are most prone to arguing that there is nothing wrong with girls being slu.... i mean promiscuous. maybe some self interest is involved there. but the girls are more likely to suffer negative effects of casual fucking around than the guys.

[Kayla]

On the question of purity rings for girls - they have something to protect, boys don't.

well except that purity rings do not protect against anything

and the abstinence education assholes insist that purity is equally important for boys and girls so why do they not even try to push purity rings on boys

[artisticsolution]

found out that one boy she was occasionally fucking was referring to her as the cumdumpster when talking to his friends

So your solution to this is morally condemn the girl? In what way is that going to help her? I don't remember Jesus ever morally condemning anyone....no instead he was kind ...he stopped a crowd from stoning a woman by saying, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

It is clear to me that the girl has no idea how to get the love she wants...but is that a reason to condemn her? Why not try to help her?

This boy is not a nice person...and you know what? He would even be a dick to someone he married who was a virgin...because that type of behavior toward another human...even if they are promiscuous....shows what type of individual a person is.

[chaz wyman]

On the question of purity rings for girls - they have something to protect, boys don't.

well except that purity rings do not protect against anything.

Well were I a teenage boy looking for sex, I'd be less likely to try it on with a girl wearing such a thing- so they do protect from pressure

and the abstinence education assholes insist that purity is equally important for boys and girls so why do they not even try to push purity rings on boys.

Why don't you ask them?

[Kayla]

So your solution to this is morally condemn the girl?

what she is doing harms herself and to some extent others so it is morally objectionable

it does not mean i would ever tell her 'you are a stupid immoral slut that is why you are so fucked you whore you are going to hell' that would be retarded

but it may be appropriate to gently point out to her that what she does is hurting herself as well as others providing one can do it in a way that she will listen

It is clear to me that the girl has no idea how to get the love she wants...but is that a reason to condemn her? Why not try to help her?

i am not sure how she can be helped beyond providing a shoulder to cry on and as much as i can make sure she remembers to take some condoms with her when she is going to a party

if she is going to have sex with douchbag boys anyway she should at least get them to use a condom

part of her problem is that she is only attracted to douchebags i am not sure what can be done about that

He would even be a dick to someone he married who was a virgin...because that type of behavior toward another human...even if they are promiscuous....shows what type of individual a person is.

well yes i told her that if she wanted my help in kicking his ass after school she got it but she is much gentler than me unfortunately

unfortunately by that standard a number of the boys she has fucked deserve to have their asses kicked

[Kayla]

Why don't you ask them?

i did

i got the self important sounding incoherent answer that grown ups give when they try to justify something obviously retarded