Fairy’s Corner

[Eodnhoj7]

I totally hear you Eod.

Thanks, I relate to most if not everything you say, and that's rare for me to be like that when I'm in the company of others. Mind you, I can't be in the company of most people anymore, most of them would think I was totally bat shit nuts, so I tend to prefer to be bat shit nuts alone these days, save spreading the virus. I'm really thoughtful like that. Lol, Yikes!!

You are too thoughtful...I am not, lol, but maybe that is a good quality you have that I should develop in myself or rather never should have neglected...I am known as a bull in a China shop because of I have developed both the blessing and curse of not giving a f'''. It's not the bull's fault it is in the China shop nor it's fault for being a bull...it's the owner's for building the shop around the bull.

I hear you bro. Tell me about it.

Anyhow,

Your not missing anything in regards to people, as I suspect you already know, I have had the extremes at one time or another of being the popular life of the show and totally alone without anyone....ironically they are the same thing, I have felt just as alone in both states and I have learned to accept the trial of metaphorical abyss like a fish in the ocean, at least that is what I am cultivating for the time.

I totally feel same way about my life bro.

Isolation, whether internal or external, teaches us to face the depths of the unknown, both it's beauties and horrors. The sufferings that come with it can be a gift...sometimes. And when it is not a gift it paradoxically becomes a greater gift by sharpening who one is and providing an opportunity to cultivate where one is lacking... what one is not.

Couldn't agree more, thanks. I actually love people who can express themselves honestly, openly, and get straight to the facts and truth about life, which is indifferent, raw and has totally run out of give a f*'s ....So I might as well, since I'm on a roll, just throw this out there, here goes, oh dear, here it comes...Argh!! I cannot stand religious or spiritual people, especially those who have lived and are still living extremely ''Wholesome'' lives..if you know what I mean. Those people who just want to be liked.

I'm not like that, I don't want people to like me, or love me for that matter.. That's my job.

But as to the current climate of people, and I emphasize 'current climate' as all things in this world are transitory:

People are cold hearted and relatively 'dumb' in various degrees, emphasis on the words 'relative' and 'dumb', because they are distracted with the excessive technology and fear making any sense of sacrifice that would interfere with thier identities constructed around the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain...and the deepest darkest pleasure is the identities we constructed, the stories we weave of ourselves to provide a cathartic warmth that kills the inherent tragic suffering of life. But this catharsis suffocates the soul allowing for a deeper tragedy of never being fully emerged within the paradox of life, the paradox of existence, as these paradoxes are what transform us into gaining a deeper freedom, a deeper truth of letting things occur naturally and genuinely.

I could literally listen to this kind of venting all day, it's just raw fact, that most deny, preferring to hide behind their fake smiley faces.
I thought about this many times, how maybe GOOD people just turn BAD for whatever reason. Seems like that's what happens a lot within human societies.
That's why I have problem relating to other people in physical proximity these days, I'm ok chatting online, but being around people in the flesh just makes me feel as though I'm not one of them, and that I do not seem to be vibrating at the same energetic frequency levels as most other people, which leaves me preferring to spend all of my precious time with the one who is always 100% reliable, most valuable, and who is of the most highest importance when it comes to the top of my priority list, and that one is ''myself'' of course. No kidding.

I'm always blissfully happy when I'm single, than when I'm in a relationship with someone. Not that there is anything wrong with other people, it's just that I like to be my unconditional self, but always feel like I can't be like that when I'm around others.
One thing I've noticed a lot, is that the human ego, or mind, always wants to take a position where relationships are concerned, the involvement can become a battle of position taking which is not really my vibe, or my style, like for example: they might say something like.. I do not love you like that, I love you like this, or I'm not liking this if it's going to be like that, or this, or the other.
I just can't deal with all that crap anymore. I've tried relationships, thinking they will work out, but they never do, maybe it's just me, I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I am always happier when I'm single.

They, people I mean, generally only pay attention to how they can get people to pay attention to them not knowing that the people they think are paying attention to them are paying attention to themselves for the same reason. Noone pays attention to eachother because they are trying to impress eachother. It is quite a tragic joke, an irony of the human condition.

That is so true, well in my own experience anyway. I just can't stand the pressure and the expectations that seem to be an inevitable part of relationship dynamics, where the relationships are always going to be more about trade off's. I can't be arsed playing those petty mind games with people. I'm just so done and over that sort of carry on stuff.

Everyone is driven by a vacuum within that they are trying to fill with the various pleasures, primarily that of the psuedo-love of other's called 'fame' or 'popularity'. That is not the case for all people, it's more of the general climate of the times. Rather than accepting the emptiness with a steadfast resilience cultivated by acceptance, they seek to fill it only to perpetuate tragedy and suffering under unnecessary and unnatural constructed judgments.

I totally agree, it's like why would anyone want to put themselves in situations like those anyway, and for what, what would they possibly even get out of it is beyond me. Life is just too short, so it's wiser and best to just live your best, life is about making it the best, for me, and so for me, it's like, if I want a job doing well, then I'll just jolly well do it myself, and that's what I'm doing, and doing really well, these days.

Anyways.. I enjoy the way you write in a metaphysical style, I enjoy reading your writing and how you explain all things metaphysical. And will continue to enjoy reading your stuff as long as you continue to write it.

In my opinion, every concept is a metaphysical concept, because every concept has ultimately come from nothing, and then paradoxically that nothing turns into something, even though it's really just nothing at all, actually. There is nothing to talk about, and nothing to do. So that's why we talk and think of things to do. LOL To distract ourselves from the great big inky deep.

Half the stuff I talk about, I've already forgotten what I've even said, 2 minutes later anyway, so it's all just meaningless jibber jabber, mumbo jumbo. I love to sit in silence for hours after every ranting vent. Just staring transfixed at the awesomeness of a tree for hours on end, is more exciting than being with some people, in my humble opinion.

I mean, what did I say last Wednesday at 3pm ? ... damned if I know, or even care, it's not like I want to live in the past either, so no point in making a diary either for that matter.

The whole trick I learned when dealing with the darkness is to stand straight and face it calmly and face it for what it is as darkness. To see the darkness only for what it is as darkness is to see the light of existence as the distinction of the darknessis the manifestation of light....and then let go of it.

Despair must be faced to live an authentic existence and to walk the fullest measure of despair is to despair even of despair, letting the sickness become sick and cease to be.

Suffering, in all it's infinite variations, has to be faced or one suffers more for letting it control them.

Given your circumstances I believe you need a time of contemplation to heal from your traumas. You have been through alot. And take a balanced approach in your contemplation, observe where you are at fault and where circumstance is at fault, for generally in conflict there is no innocent side. When you have identified things you have done, things circumstance has done, let them go and try to cease creating further ripples in karma, in cause and effect, by ceasing their repetition where you can. Acknowledge the cycles and let them close. You are allowed to let go of the pain, there is no law otherwise. Forgive yourself and others and stay discipline. It is not easy, but it doesn't have to be extremely hard either. Walk a middle path of moderation.

Desire causes more suffering than needed, so minimize them where you can and eliminate what you can. You do not have to be perfect first, second or third try...but you do have to try for if you don't try you never will master yourself to the degree you potentially can. Learn discipline. The darker emotions are merely desires that run our lives, and with the darkness comes slavery for what is not cultivated into a sense of clarity by focused attention drives one like a horrible and relentless task master as the blind man or woman is driven to stumble by their blindness.

You had it hard, now try to rebalance yourself.

[Fairy]

Thanks Eod, for your wise and supporting comments. It's very admirable and generous of you to be so open about your own feelings on the matter with a complete stranger.

I do appreciate our exchanges.

My problem is me, of course. I'm riddled with heartbreak and psychological emotional trauma to be totally honest. Don't know if I'll ever heal 100%, but what I do know for certain is who I am authentically beyond the fake mask of egocentricity.
I discovered a long time ago that there are many subdivisions or aspects of 'myself' insofar as there are many attributes, or sides to me, there's light and dark, very dark, and lots of grey areas, all of which do not define me, as my true self is completely sound and intact, unharmed and in the drivers seat so to speak, what I mean is, I know I am being lived, and it's not me who is driving my engine, so I completely 100% surrender and trust only in that which is beating my heart.

I have become very aware in the sense that I am simply a temporal wave, a mere fractional aspect of the whole ocean, which is still the whole ocean.
And so have intuitively known this most of my life. I've also accepted that I cannot form satisfying relationships with people who have not experienced the same if not similar intense awakening I have. It's like I'm not here anymore, and that emptiness that I have become, would be just so unfair of me to expect relationships to work with people who have not heard of Nonduality. I should not be getting involved with other people, already knowing this about myself and knowing the whole world in general is an illusion. This may sound selfish or narcissistic, but I'd rather sojourn through my temporal life alone, I guess it just feels so right for me personally. It's the right thing for me to do, and is probably why I have never really felt comfortable in regular relationships that others seem to form so effortlessly and naturally. It's never really come naturally to me, there seems to be a sensitivity around the idea of feeling like I am being owned, coupled by the sense of feeling trapped and constrained by the demands and needs of other people. I even felt trapped in my previous 18 year marriage, with a guy who I loved dearly, so even as I dearly love people, I just cannot be with them physically anymore. I'm just no good at that sort of thing, it actually feels unnatural for me. I don't even know why on earth I feel that way.

But I do know I am stronger on my own, because there's always been a nagging feeling of being weakened when I'm attempting intimate committed relationships with others. I just know I need to be alone now.

[Fairy]

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”

That's my take on what love actually means.


“When I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” — Carl Rogers, The Curious Paradox.

[Eodnhoj7]

Thanks Eod, for your wise and supporting comments. It's very admirable and generous of you to be so open about your own feelings on the matter with a complete stranger.

I do appreciate our exchanges.

My problem is me, of course. I'm riddled with heartbreak and psychological emotional trauma to be totally honest. Don't know if I'll ever heal 100%, but what I do know for certain is who I am authentically beyond the fake mask of egocentricity.
I discovered a long time ago that there are many subdivisions or aspects of 'myself' insofar as there are many attributes, or sides to me, there's light and dark, very dark, and lots of grey areas, all of which do not define me, as my true self is completely sound and intact, unharmed and in the drivers seat so to speak, what I mean is, I know I am being lived, and it's not me who is driving my engine, so I completely 100% surrender and trust only in that which is beating my heart.

I have become very aware in the sense that I am simply a temporal wave, a mere fractional aspect of the whole ocean, which is still the whole ocean.
And so have intuitively known this most of my life. I've also accepted that I cannot form satisfying relationships with people who have not experienced the same if not similar intense awakening I have. It's like I'm not here anymore, and that emptiness that I have become, would be just so unfair of me to expect relationships to work with people who have not heard of Nonduality. I should not be getting involved with other people, already knowing this about myself and knowing the whole world in general is an illusion. This may sound selfish or narcissistic, but I'd rather sojourn through my temporal life alone, I guess it just feels so right for me personally. It's the right thing for me to do, and is probably why I have never really felt comfortable in regular relationships that others seem to form so effortlessly and naturally. It's never really come naturally to me, there seems to be a sensitivity around the idea of feeling like I am being owned, coupled by the sense of feeling trapped and constrained by the demands and needs of other people. I even felt trapped in my previous 18 year marriage, with a guy who I loved dearly, so even as I dearly love people, I just cannot be with them physically anymore. I'm just no good at that sort of thing, it actually feels unnatural for me. I don't even know why on earth I feel that way.

But I do know I am stronger on my own, because there's always been a nagging feeling of being weakened when I'm attempting intimate committed relationships with others. I just know I need to be alone now.

That is half the truth, but it is a truth. The more conditions a person's contentment is grounded on the more there identity is set on shifting sands while dually they are to divided to have any real appreciation for what they do have. Self-reflection is not narcissistic for how we approach ourselves is how we approach other's. In respecting and healing yourself you will inevitably respect and heal other's...we are all interconnected for better or for worse. Mankind has to be reminded we are purely our brother's keeper and this process begins with how we keep ourselves. A solo journey can give clarity to this.

But to get on point about the other half of the truth: context.

The other half is the inherent "forced grasping mentality" of the modern world. Impulse driven consumerism that sets the foundations for the values of exploitation where all, including people, are strictly relegated to a means of entertainment to divert boredom so the personal demons and leveling ego killing silence can be ignored. Our interactions with the world inherently plants and waters seeds within us that either blossom to our benefit or suffocate us. The current climate of the world is one of suffocation. That is it's current nature.

It is beneficial to recognize the inherent uncultivated darkness within, and yes addressing it is necessary, but you but you have to look at the whole picture and see the context you exist in as the context we exist within has influence on us regardless of the degree, or even whether, one is consciously aware of it.

I believe the best approach in your solo journey is to cultivate a balance of appreciation, for the lighter aspects of you that allow a sense of levity, and a sense of sorrow, for the dark uncultivated aspects that result in an unnecessary internal gravity. Simple things that give you contentment should be appreciated, complicated and unnecessary desires should be removed, or at least minimalized if that is all you can do for the moment. Practice this balancing meditation daily so you gain a deeper form of awareness that allows a fuller life, and try to live and be as simple as you can for with simplicity comes a more genuine approach to one's journey.

The transformative power of suffering allows one to let go of the unnecessary.

[Eodnhoj7]

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”

That's my take on what love actually means.


“When I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” — Carl Rogers, The Curious Paradox.

Love is the sacrifice of the desires we make our identities contingent on, the desires that create the cage of the self, it is the release or minimalization of the conditions that lead to excessive and unrealistic judgment that further complicates an already complicated world.

[Eodnhoj7]

The horrifying and beautiful truth of existence is that suffering may be sacred as it cuts away illusion.

[Wizard22]

If everything is an illusion, then why can't pain be imagined away?

[Fairy]

That is half the truth, but it is a truth. The more conditions a person's contentment is grounded on the more there identity is set on shifting sands while dually they are to divided to have any real appreciation for what they do have. Self-reflection is not narcissistic for how we approach ourselves is how we approach other's. In respecting and healing yourself you will inevitably respect and heal other's...we are all interconnected for better or for worse. Mankind has to be reminded we are purely our brother's keeper and this process begins with how we keep ourselves. A solo journey can give clarity to this.

Very good, agreed.

I agree, we are our brothers keeper, but what that means for me personally, is by allowing others their own unique free thinking mind which is a SPACE of their own, that no others can access, it's their sacred birth-right, as an individual aspect of the collective consciousness. We ought not to interfere with other peoples life choices. And never attempt to try and change them, even when their space to be is going totally in the opposite direction and against what someone else's space to be is.

Some people for instance might desire not to be here anymore, and so may put all their energies into consciously opting out of life, it's as if they are endowed with a super human intelligence that runs contrary to popular belief, where they feel their way of thinking is perfectly normal for them, and see no problem choosing to go against the grain, rejecting all of their previous human conditionings. Does that mean they are mentally ill, just because they think this way. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with how other people choose to play out their life choices. I think it's what they have chosen to experience, and it's not for anyone else to judge.

They choose a way out of what they strongly believe is unnecessary, and they take their choices to the extreme, rather than just follow the status quo.

And so what, if some people do not desire to follow the collective crowd, who are just thinking for themselves from a place of their own responsibility, love and care for themselves, from a place that they are more than entitled to be, as it's their world, and no one else's.

And aren't we all just doing the same, being responsible and caring and loving our own unique individual selves in every moment anyway.

As we mature into independent adults, we become responsible for ourselves only, out of love and care for ourselves. And if we can do that for ourselves, then we are truly living from our true north, even if it doesn't align with other peoples true north. We each have to respect and honour the choices and desires of others, without judging or trying to change them, and certainly not expecting other's life choices to be any different than they are. Each to our own, is my sacred motto. That's what true letting go means for me anyway, it means knowing that nothing belongs to us, like ever.

The other half is the inherent "forced grasping mentality" of the modern world. Impulse driven consumerism that sets the foundations for the values of exploitation where all, including people, are strictly relegated to a means of entertainment to divert boredom so the personal demons and leveling ego killing silence can be ignored. Our interactions with the world inherently plants and waters seeds within us that either blossom to our benefit or suffocate us. The current climate of the world is one of suffocation. That is it's current nature.

It is beneficial to recognize the inherent uncultivated darkness within, and yes addressing it is necessary, but you but you have to look at the whole picture and see the context you exist in as the context we exist within has influence on us regardless of the degree, or even whether, one is consciously aware of it.

I believe the best approach in your solo journey is to cultivate a balance of appreciation, for the lighter aspects of you that allow a sense of levity, and a sense of sorrow, for the dark uncultivated aspects that result in an unnecessary internal gravity. Simple things that give you contentment should be appreciated, complicated and unnecessary desires should be removed, or at least minimalized if that is all you can do for the moment. Practice this balancing meditation daily so you gain a deeper form of awareness that allows a fuller life, and try to live and be as simple as you can for with simplicity comes a more genuine approach to one's journey.

Thanks for sharing your views on the matter. I read with interest and fascination. Indeed, meditation teaches what is important and what isn't necessary. It's like the kingdom of heaven is found within, but first we need to leave our baggage outside the door.

The transformative power of suffering allows one to let go of the unnecessary.

[Fairy]

If everything is an illusion, then why can't pain be imagined away?

Because ''illusion'' is the ONLY experience. Notice how a pain comes and then goes. So where does pain come from, and then where does pain go?
It's all the illusion of you. And all other you's are exactly the same one illusion experiencing the illusion of other you's.

There's nothing making the illusion happen, nor is there nothing that can make the illusion not happen. There is nothing making the illusory experiencing happen, nor is there nothing that can make the illusory experiencing not an experience.

An illusion cannot imagine an illusion away because the illusion is ONLY a one time event, there is no other time in which the illusory experience happens.

There is nothing dreaming night time dreams, or making them happen or not happen, and there is nothing making the waking experience happen or not happen. Just as there was nothing that made an apple pie from scratch. And once the genie is out of the bottle, there's nowhere else for the genie to go, except to go back in.


Explained here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8H3PkAIsIs

[Impenitent]

maybe someone could give an antibiotic to usion...

-Imp

[Fairy]

What if I stopped stressing and trusted everything will be okay and felt deep peace inside.

[Fairy]

Is it going to be okay you will be liquidated and replaced with something you cannot understand

[Fairy]

I watched the movie “ Interstellar” for the first time last night.

I liked it. Even though I didn’t have the foggiest idea of what was going on. Or what the actors we’re talking about.

Great film though.

[Fairy]

Not contrived silence, is the immense silence in which time, space is not. Then there is that which is unnameable, which is divine,eternal.

[Fairy]

If you are thinking that the traffic outside is noisy, go into a quiet room and listen to your brain.