Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

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Gary Childress
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Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Gary Childress »

Hi, Rick.

If we put someone on ignore, is there a way that you can make it so that notifications for their replies don't show up either? I really don't want to see Age's name in my notifications.
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accelafine
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by accelafine »

Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:56 am Hi, Rick.

If we put someone on ignore, is there a way that you can make it so that notifications for their replies don't show up either? I really don't want to see Age's name in my notifications.
I made the same point about the same poster and got jumped on for it. What a surprise :roll:

Sometimes I would get a whole row of notifications (at least ten) from him. It rather defeats the purpose of the 'ignore' function.
And no, there is nothing you can do about it. 'Age' enjoys tormenting his 'foes' in this way. Be prepared for A LOT of red dot notifications from now on.
Gary Childress
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Gary Childress »

accelafine wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 4:00 am
Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:56 am Hi, Rick.

If we put someone on ignore, is there a way that you can make it so that notifications for their replies don't show up either? I really don't want to see Age's name in my notifications.
I made the same point about the same poster and got jumped on for it. What a surprise :roll:

Sometimes I would get a whole row of notifications (at least ten) from him. It rather defeats the purpose of the 'ignore' function.
And no, there is nothing you can do about it. 'Age' enjoys tormenting his 'foes' in this way. Be prepared for A LOT of red dot notifications from now on.
Is Age the one who jumped on you for it or was it others?
Gary Childress
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Gary Childress »

He is an expert at gaslighting.
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accelafine
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by accelafine »

Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 4:04 am
accelafine wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 4:00 am
Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:56 am Hi, Rick.

If we put someone on ignore, is there a way that you can make it so that notifications for their replies don't show up either? I really don't want to see Age's name in my notifications.
I made the same point about the same poster and got jumped on for it. What a surprise :roll:

Sometimes I would get a whole row of notifications (at least ten) from him. It rather defeats the purpose of the 'ignore' function.
And no, there is nothing you can do about it. 'Age' enjoys tormenting his 'foes' in this way. Be prepared for A LOT of red dot notifications from now on.
Is Age the one who jumped on you for it or was it others?
I don't think 'Age' is capable of 'jumping' on anything. I made a whole thread about it. Anyway, I asked Rick and he didn't seem to think that anything could be done about it. Something to do with the site design.
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accelafine
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by accelafine »

Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 4:08 am He is an expert at gaslighting.
I know what you mean. He could drive anyone to a nervous breakdown.
Iwannaplato
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Iwannaplato »

Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 4:08 am He is an expert at gaslighting.
Bang on.
Atla
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Atla »

You guys are weird. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate you by saying things they know to be untruths, but Age 100% believes what it says.
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accelafine
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by accelafine »

''psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability''

It was an excellent movie. The villain nearly drove his wife unsane by doing things like moving stuff around so she would question her own memories and perception of reality. It's actually quite easy to drive someone mad if a person is evil and sadistic enough to want to do it.

Men are famous for doing it to their wives when it's really obvious to the wife that they are having an affair. They just deny deny deny and call their wife 'crazy' and 'a psycho' etc. etc.
Last edited by accelafine on Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
Iwannaplato
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Iwannaplato »

Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:46 am You guys are weird. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate you by saying things they know to be untruths, but Age 100% believes what it says.
I think there can be unconscious gaslighting. But in any case 1) continuously expressing beliefs about many of us, in post after post, then saying he does not have beliefs. Once calling his beliefs 'views'. LOL. 2) Expressing his beliefs in absolute terms, when he must know they are not absolute: "you never do X.....'When he has experienced me doing X.' 3) Denying he ever said X. You find a quote where he said X. And he maintains his denial. 4) Denying that he ever gets irritated, when it's obvious in the way he changes his relation to people. I've seen this happen with you a number of times. 5) How about calling atophi (sp) a pedophile and when the latter gets irritated, Age tells him he is naive or some other judgment becaues the word originally meant a lover of children. 6) Judging people (often with the phrase like 'at the time this is being written' and then when it is pointed out that he has many judgments of people, he denies it.

There are many more instances and types of gaslighting activities on his part. As I said to him once, I don't know if he is conscious that he is gaslighting, but he is gaslighting. And it's intentional, even if it is unconscious. It is self-serving and not random.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... at-they-do
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accelafine
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by accelafine »

Iwannaplato wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:22 am
Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:46 am You guys are weird. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate you by saying things they know to be untruths, but Age 100% believes what it says.
I think there can be unconscious gaslighting. But in any case 1) continuously expressing beliefs about many of us, in post after post, then saying he does not have beliefs. Once calling his beliefs 'views'. LOL. 2) Expressing his beliefs in absolute terms, when he must know they are not absolute: "you never do X.....'When he has experienced me doing X.' 3) Denying he ever said X. You find a quote where he said X. And he maintains his denial. 4) Denying that he ever gets irritated, when it's obvious in the way he changes his relation to people. I've seen this happen with you a number of times. 5) How about calling atophi (sp) a pedophile and when the latter gets irritated, Age tells him he is naive or some other judgment becaues the word originally meant a lover of children. 6) Judging people (often with the phrase like 'at the time this is being written' and then when it is pointed out that he has many judgments of people, he denies it.

There are many more instances and types of gaslighting activities on his part. As I said to him once, I don't know if he is conscious that he is gaslighting, but he is gaslighting. And it's intentional, even if it is unconscious. It is self-serving and not random.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... at-they-do
Yes. I would say he's a pretty classic case of a gaslighter.
Iwannaplato
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Iwannaplato »

Gary Childress wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:56 am Hi, Rick.

If we put someone on ignore, is there a way that you can make it so that notifications for their replies don't show up either? I really don't want to see Age's name in my notifications.
If you keep ignoring his posts and do not respond to him, chances are his responses will get less. At least, that happened with me. Unfortunately a thread like this might lead to an increase in attention for a while, but in the long run, I think it will get less.

It would be lovely if we didn't get notifications. I asked him to stop several times, he refused to stop, but with the lack of attention from me, he stopped on his own.

Being bothered by him, giving him a chance to judge what you wrote to him, giving him a chance to have an audience for his 'superiority and deep insight'....those are attractive. Without those things, he doesn't get a hit of dopamine, and he should leave you alone.
Atla
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Atla »

Iwannaplato wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:22 am
Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:46 am You guys are weird. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate you by saying things they know to be untruths, but Age 100% believes what it says.
I think there can be unconscious gaslighting. But in any case 1) continuously expressing beliefs about many of us, in post after post, then saying he does not have beliefs. Once calling his beliefs 'views'. LOL. 2) Expressing his beliefs in absolute terms, when he must know they are not absolute: "you never do X.....'When he has experienced me doing X.' 3) Denying he ever said X. You find a quote where he said X. And he maintains his denial. 4) Denying that he ever gets irritated, when it's obvious in the way he changes his relation to people. I've seen this happen with you a number of times. 5) How about calling atophi (sp) a pedophile and when the latter gets irritated, Age tells him he is naive or some other judgment becaues the word originally meant a lover of children. 6) Judging people (often with the phrase like 'at the time this is being written' and then when it is pointed out that he has many judgments of people, he denies it.

There are many more instances and types of gaslighting activities on his part. As I said to him once, I don't know if he is conscious that he is gaslighting, but he is gaslighting. And it's intentional, even if it is unconscious. It is self-serving and not random.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... at-they-do
That's not really gaslighting, he (she) tries to force you to realize the "absolute truth", and the tricks he uses and mistakes he makes along the way don't matter.
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Iwannaplato »

Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:44 am
Iwannaplato wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:22 am
Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:46 am You guys are weird. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate you by saying things they know to be untruths, but Age 100% believes what it says.
I think there can be unconscious gaslighting. But in any case 1) continuously expressing beliefs about many of us, in post after post, then saying he does not have beliefs. Once calling his beliefs 'views'. LOL. 2) Expressing his beliefs in absolute terms, when he must know they are not absolute: "you never do X.....'When he has experienced me doing X.' 3) Denying he ever said X. You find a quote where he said X. And he maintains his denial. 4) Denying that he ever gets irritated, when it's obvious in the way he changes his relation to people. I've seen this happen with you a number of times. 5) How about calling atophi (sp) a pedophile and when the latter gets irritated, Age tells him he is naive or some other judgment becaues the word originally meant a lover of children. 6) Judging people (often with the phrase like 'at the time this is being written' and then when it is pointed out that he has many judgments of people, he denies it.

There are many more instances and types of gaslighting activities on his part. As I said to him once, I don't know if he is conscious that he is gaslighting, but he is gaslighting. And it's intentional, even if it is unconscious. It is self-serving and not random.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... at-they-do
That's not really gaslighting, he (she) tries to force you to realize the "absolute truth", and the tricks he uses and mistakes he makes along the way don't matter.
If we change the words 'force' and 'tricks' and 'mistakes' what you just expressed might fit with his own views. The article I linked to talks about some gaslighters not knowing what they are doing. Sometimes they are called self-deceiving gaslighters. To me the moment someone regularly denies reality through a variety of devices AND presents negative views of you (and others) supported by doing this, they are gaslighting.

I think it can be a valid definition that one must be consciously trying to manipulate people and mess with their minds. Given that I don't always know what is really going on in the other person's mind and in a sense it doesn't matter - what I call gaslighting is happening - I include people who may not be aware of what they are doing. I think that's also valid. But in discussion with you, hey, I can work with your definition and avoid it. But in general the use in psychology and every day life seems to include both kinds of patterns. And, of course, there can be mixtures of awareness. Some awareness, some degree of fooling oneself. For non-psychopaths it's pretty uncomfortable to notice what one is doingt, unless you have some kind of justification for trying to break someone else down.
Atla
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Re: Can this be done? Remove "foes" from notifications.

Post by Atla »

Iwannaplato wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:54 am
Atla wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:44 am
Iwannaplato wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 6:22 am I think there can be unconscious gaslighting. But in any case 1) continuously expressing beliefs about many of us, in post after post, then saying he does not have beliefs. Once calling his beliefs 'views'. LOL. 2) Expressing his beliefs in absolute terms, when he must know they are not absolute: "you never do X.....'When he has experienced me doing X.' 3) Denying he ever said X. You find a quote where he said X. And he maintains his denial. 4) Denying that he ever gets irritated, when it's obvious in the way he changes his relation to people. I've seen this happen with you a number of times. 5) How about calling atophi (sp) a pedophile and when the latter gets irritated, Age tells him he is naive or some other judgment becaues the word originally meant a lover of children. 6) Judging people (often with the phrase like 'at the time this is being written' and then when it is pointed out that he has many judgments of people, he denies it.

There are many more instances and types of gaslighting activities on his part. As I said to him once, I don't know if he is conscious that he is gaslighting, but he is gaslighting. And it's intentional, even if it is unconscious. It is self-serving and not random.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... at-they-do
That's not really gaslighting, he (she) tries to force you to realize the "absolute truth", and the tricks he uses and mistakes he makes along the way don't matter.
If we change the words 'force' and 'tricks' and 'mistakes' what you just expressed might fit with his own views. The article I linked to talks about some gaslighters not knowing what they are doing. Sometimes they are called self-deceiving gaslighters. To me the moment someone regularly denies reality through a variety of devices AND presents negative views of you (and others) supported by doing this, they are gaslighting.

I think it can be a valid definition that one must be consciously trying to manipulate people and mess with their minds. Given that I don't always know what is really going on in the other person's mind and in a sense it doesn't matter - what I call gaslighting is happening - I include people who may not be aware of what they are doing. I think that's also valid. But in discussion with you, hey, I can work with your definition and avoid it. But in general the use in psychology and every day life seems to include both kinds of patterns. And, of course, there can be mixtures of awareness. Some awareness, some degree of fooling oneself. For non-psychopaths it's pretty uncomfortable to notice what one is doingt, unless you have some kind of justification for trying to break someone else down.
Yeah but Age isn't denying reality, he/she thinks we are denying reality.
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