Which "Official Acts" should Brandon "Commit" before leaving office?

[FlashDangerpants]

Under current American law, old Brandon can commit any crime he likes for any reason he wants as long as there isn't long enough left on his tenure for the two houses to put together a coherent indictment and conviction. Once he leaves office he is protected by a shield of absolute immunity for "Official Acts" irrespective of any corrupt intent.

Anything that is remotely connected to his role in government, either as the guy in overall charge of law enforcement at the federal level, or the Commander in Chief of the armed forces will fall either within the scope of his enumerated powers or else within the ill-defined "outer perimiter" of his official duties. Even personal he shit he gets up to is covered by a limited assumption of immunity on the grounds that for some reason, nothing he does, says or writes under any capacity of his office will be usable as evidence of his criminal intent even if the crime itself is deemed to be outside of that outer perimeter.

So what is the best crime he can get away with? One option might be to fire the Chair of the Federal Reserve (offical act), appoint Hunter Biden to the job under a recess appointment to evade Congressional approval, and then print himself a billion dollar bank note, or sell the US gold reserves to the Emir of Kuwait in return for an enormous bribe. The difficulty with such a heist of course is that the heist would fail, nobody would go to jail, but nobody would get rich either.

Alternatively, he could commit onof those "Official Acts" that's justified by some "greater good". Perhaps he should wait until 5 days before the election and then just casually share some CIA/NSA documents with a few friendly journalists. If the documents expose Trump and his relatives corrupt dealings with a foreign government that should do the trick to swing the election.

This is similarly protected as all the other crimes a president might commit in office. The leaking of state secrets aspect is openand shut, can't be prosecuted. And even though such election interference contravenes multiple statutes, almost certainly including felonies, it probably can't be prosecuted either, even though lection interference would be a personal act rather than an official one. If the means used to commit those crimes are part of the presidents core responsibilities, then no inference of motive (for mens rea) can be drawn from them.

So what sort of crime do you think Brandon should do on his way out? One of the boring "Greater Good" ones to save democracy from the Gog The Demagogue, or can you cook up a proper get rich quick scheme where the money doesn't get taken away on Jan 21st?

[accelafine]

Who is Brandon?

[FlashDangerpants]

Who is Brandon?

This guy

[Atla]

Commemorate those unsung American heroes floating somewhere in outer space, far far away?

[Impenitent]

Who is Brandon?

https://www.tmz.com/watch/2021-12-30-f- ... t-1330281/

-Imp

[accelafine]

Who is Brandon?

This guy

I thought his name was Joe Biden. Must be an 'American thing'.

[promethean75]

I know nothing of the name Brandon and can only surmise that it is an anecdotal meme (having been given to him by someone and Walker picked it up) or it's an instance of Walker showing contempt by calling him a pet name. U know how they call atto 'fishpie' and u 'old wretc... i mean 'veg'? Same thing.

But what i cannot surmise is that Walker would have ever forgotten his name was Biden and called him Brandon by mistake.

And why can i not do this, veg? Becuz i am intelligent enough to infer from the context of the situation that Walker is prolly just doing one of the two things i mention, and that he hasn't forgotten his name is Biden.

How u like them apples?

[accelafine]

But Walker didn't start the thread. Walker is too insane to read more than about half a sentence of and it's impossible to know what his actual opinion is on anything.

[FlashDangerpants]

I thought his name was Joe Biden. Must be an 'American thing'.

A couple of years back, a stadium full of rednecks and hillbillies watching (of course) NASCAR - the special needs American motor sport that just goes in a circle - relieved the boredom of watching 20 hotrods that are too stupid to work out how to exit a roundabout with a rousing chant of "Fuck Joe Biden". A TV commentator at the scene apparently misheard the lyrics of this chant and told his audience they were cheering for one of the drivers, named Brandon. This was of course quite funny.

The Alt-right, those masters of comedic understatement and subtlety, took up the misheard chant of "Let's Go Brandon" and used it as their family friendly way of shouting "fuck Joe Biden" in public spaces where the F word is rude. It's like a code you see. As these things go, Brandon just became a nickname for Biden, and then Dark Brandon became the nickname for some sort of imaginary alter ego of Joe B used for times when he is just shit stirring. This guy, the one who didn't turn up for the presidential debate is he...



The whimsy of this thread is that the boring old Malarkey Joe Biden wouldn't dream of exploiting the recent US Supreme Court ruling that lets him commit a massive array of crimes without consequence, but What Would Dark Brandon Do?

[Will Bouwman]

The whimsy of this thread is that the boring old Malarkey Joe Biden wouldn't dream of exploiting the recent US Supreme Court ruling that lets him commit a massive array of crimes without consequence...

Tragic, innit?