What do men and women really want from each other?

[pilumacop]

Men and women both have different mind set levels depending on conditions and situations. In most studies it been noticed that men are more aggressive and can hold their emotions. As a men always need some relax moment from a women. Whenever he meets to a lady, he will be polite to her through which he feels relax. In other words this Vanced Manager APKsense can be taken in other form also. So, a men may not really need sex from a women.

[shelby]

Generally speaking, men and women both want to feel respected and valued by their partners. They both want to feel secure in their relationship and to experience mutual love, trust, and understanding. Men and women also want to feel appreciated for the unique contributions they bring to their relationships. Additionally, men and women often want to feel supported, both emotionally and physically, in their relationships.

[Ansiktsburk]

I used to want to fuck more and my wife used to want to have more babies. We both wanted companionship, still do. And to be family, a factor not to be underrated.

Thats one sample from the billions.

[Dontaskme]

I used to want to fuck more and my wife used to want to have more babies. We both wanted companionship, still do. And to be family, a factor not to be underrated.

Thats one sample from the billions.

Notice you did not say you wanted your wife. And your wife wanted babies.

It seems the majority of the time, a person only wants from another person (A specific ''WANT'') that the other person can give them.

But what if the person they want something from does not give us the want that is wanted from them? would we still want them, would we want that person who cannot give us what we want from them?


In the above Ansiktsburk reply to the OP question, the answer reads: There was only a want for 'fucking' and a want for 'babies' and a want for 'companionship' and a want for 'family' and no mention of WANTING the person who satisfies our ''wants''.

Maybe people only want other people to satisfy their own 'needs and wants' ..people who can give them what they want. Maybe two people are only together because 'each' person wants something from the other. If people did not want anything from other people, they would not have any use for another person. So it seems people do tend to use each other just to get what they want, especially if the other person is willing to give them what they want. But what if the other person stopped giving you what you wanted, would you still want the person? would you still want (JUST the person?) ... I don't think so.
It's as if there is no person there when they are not giving us something, so we do not feel any need or want for that person anymore.

If we want to be loved by another person, and we want to hear those words ''I love you'' spoken to us by another person. Are we with that person just because we want to hear those words ''I love you'' spoken to us? And what if the person decides for whatever reason, to never say those words we want to hear.. would we still want that person? could we ever be sure another person truly loves us, just because they said they do? and would that 'want' not satisfied, still make us want the actual person?

CAN people just be 'present' with other people and not want absolutely anything from them, and still want them?

[Iwannaplato]

CAN people just be 'present' with other people and not want absolutely anything from them, and still want them?

I think so. I don't think those are mutually exclusive (not that you said they were but the question could imply it.) We can want things and then also not want anything but to be near someone over the course of day, in and out.
I want things from my wife: love, attention, humor, creativity, cuddling, sex, companionship, sympathy, hell, even intervention when I am self-destructive or idiotic. I'm sure there's more.
But I also love her essence - I am not making some grand ontological claim, just finding the best word I can.
The way she is/what she is. I like being in the same room. And often nothing has to be done. She can be reading, but that room is vastly more appealing when she is there. Most of the time. Sometimes I want to be alone or with others.
And then beyond the sitting in the room with me or lying in bed next to me but not directly doing anything with me or paying particular attention to me, there's my wanting to make eye contact or experience her.
Much of what happens early on in the relationship. We can call this attraction to beauty, but there are lots of women who are attractive looking but I feel no urge to just sort of be around them or be quietly intimate with them.
So, that stuff in the crush, infatuation, it continue even if its not in the early manic forms.
(I'm wandering but that's because I am actually exploring this here)
Yes, one might say personality. In the sense that there are specific tones, or fragrances (not being literal here) to another person's essence. But it's not about being her being outgoing or joyful or other personality words.
Essence is the best word I can think of.
I love her essence and want to be around her.

(none of this means it's all skipping through fields of flowers. We have our tensions and frustrations and disagreements, being human and all and not actors in a coke commercial)

[popeye1945]

Most people want all the nice things already stated, love, respect, security and intimacy but I think most people lack the courage to make themselves vulnerable enough to acquire real intimacy. Most marriages are based on an unrealistic image of their partners, with time this unrealistic image falls away and one is left with a humble human being who farts now and then. There certainly is no guarantee once the love of your life sees the real you that they are going to be at all thrilled with their catch, that is why courage is needed. I think the divorce rate is well over the fifty percent mark at present, so it's all pretty much a tragic comedy in which children pay the highest price. There is that infinitesimal percentage though that really get it and just love each other's humanity, which leaves all the rest of us in complete envy.

[reasonvemotion]

Dachshund wrote:

Because we were young boys and all of us had been educated in private boys' Grammar schools, the topic of wanking was often discussed while we "played the silver ball."

My ex was a boarder at a grammar school in Melbourne. He told me all about the nefarious activities that the boys engaged in.

Your story made me laugh.

[Dontaskme]

There is that infinitesimal percentage though that really get it and just love each other's humanity, which leaves all the rest of us in complete envy.

I think one would have to experience that infinitesimal percentage directly and personally before one could know if it's a marriage to be envied or not. Looking in on such a marriage from an outside perspective will not inform anyone who was not in that marriage that such a marriage would be enviable.

Then there are some people who just know from the day they were born that they want to live their enitre life in a complete partnerless solitude. I've partially lived this experience of partnerless solitude myself for 25 years, and discovered to my amazement that I did not envy the marriages that just really get it on together with a mutual love of each others humanity, preferring my own solitary experience. And I'm sure the one's in such a marriage prefer their own experience and do not envy someone whose experience is a life of partnerless solitude.

Personally for me, I can take or leave partnerships. My life is never defined by whether I am in a parnership or not. I can live quite happily and be content to live forever with someone else. Or I could just as happily be content living on my own in complete solitude for all my life, without any problem at all. I've experienced both options. And have no problem with either.

[popeye1945]

There is that infinitesimal percentage though that really get it and just love each other's humanity, which leaves all the rest of us in complete envy.

I think one would have to experience that infinitesimal percentage directly and personally before one could know if it's a marriage to be envied or not. Looking in on such a marriage from an outside perspective will not inform anyone who was not in that marriage that such a marriage would be enviable.

Then there are some people who just know from the day they were born that they want to live their entire life in a complete partnerless solitude. I've partially lived this experience of partnerless solitude myself for 25 years, and discovered to my amazement that I did not envy the marriages that just really get it on together with a mutual love of each other humanity, preferring my own solitary experience. And I'm sure the ones in such a marriage prefer their own experience and do not envy someone whose experience is a life of partnerless solitude.

Personally, for me, I can take or leave partnerships. My life is never defined by whether I am in a partnership or not. I can live quite happily and be content to live forever with someone else. Or I could just as happily be content living on my own in complete solitude for all my life, without any problem at all. I've experienced both options. And I have no problem with either.

I couldn't agree more, it has been said, if you wish to be your own person then one needs to live a solitary life. I've had a number of relationships but eventually decided I don't need the complications that go with it. It is, however, nice when one sees an old couple that seemingly has and has had this ideal relationship of loving each other's humanity. I am also not blinded by romanticism and do see how much in marriages much depends upon biological determinates.

[Lacewing]

....

....

I couldn't agree more, it has been said, if you wish to be your own person then one needs to live a solitary life. I've had a number of relationships but eventually decided I don't need the complications that go with it. It is, however, nice when one sees an old couple that seemingly has and has had this ideal relationship of loving each other's humanity. I am also not blinded by romanticism and do see how much in marriages much depends upon biological determinates.

I think the reason I'm able to be in a relationship now (the best one I've had) is because I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of years on my own. I know where my fulfillment comes from and that takes a lot of pressure off everyone. However, I am avoiding marriage because I fear I might react as if I'm trapped. I need to know that I can walk away easily (and that he can too) if desired, and that we are staying together because we really want to.

I've often thought that the conventional idea(s) of marriage -- the attitudes, expectations, etc. -- need to evolve and expand to better serve more people. Ideas need not be based on gender or tradition. Rather, two beings can come together to support each other and their partnership in a balanced way, based on their strengths and capabilities. It's more like a caring team. Partnerships can still be a challenge at times (of course) because of our differences and all the crazy crap that we've all absorbed from our upbringings and the world. But I think there's an opportunity to utilize such a partnership to strengthen and expand ourselves for the better.

A friend of mine and her boyfriend are moving back in to share a large house with her previous partner who is the father of her son. Everyone gets along with each other (so far). It makes sense to me that people share homes with others if it can be done compatibly, to make it easier on everyone. Perhaps it will help people evolve... and help relationships evolve... by having more 'tribe-mates' to find a balance with. Why shouldn't we be capable of doing that? Instead of putting pressure on one other person, we can find more balance in a 'community' of people. Then our partner can be yet another person we have a unique connection with, in whatever ways seem to fit. (I am monogamous, by the way, for those of you who might want to stereotype me inaccurately.) Not all friends can be all things for us. I enjoy the qualities and strengths of each friendship I have... and that includes the friendship with my romantic partner. I wish I had been taught this when I was a little girl, instead of having my head filled with unrealistic and distorted expectations about a white knight, prince charming, soul mate.

I like seeing culture evolve in a way that people can discover how to be happy and fulfilled on their own (without children or a partner, or even religious dogma), and they can then share that 'wholeness' with others in very sweet and empowering ways.

[popeye1945]

There is that infinitesimal percentage though that really get it and just love each other's humanity, which leaves all the rest of us in complete envy.

I think one would have to experience that infinitesimal percentage directly and personally before one could know if it's a marriage to be envied or not. Looking in on such a marriage from an outside perspective will not inform anyone who was not in that marriage that such a marriage would be enviable.

Then there are some people who just know from the day they were born that they want to live their entire life in a complete partnerless solitude. I've partially lived this experience of partnerless solitude myself for 25 years, and discovered to my amazement that I did not envy the marriages that just really get it on together with a mutual love of each other's humanity, preferring my own solitary experience. And I'm sure the ones in such a marriage prefer their own experience and do not envy someone whose experience is a life of partnerless solitude.

Personally, for me, I can take or leave partnerships. My life is never defined by whether I am in a partnership or not. I can live quite happily and be content to live forever with someone else. Or I could just as happily be content living on my own in complete solitude for all my life, without any problem at all. I've experienced both options. And I have no problem with either.

The types of marriages and/or Longterm relationships that are generally found to be acceptable, change with the changing social context. Personally, the present situation I find more and more chaotic, things are not grounded in anything and I believe that is the condition necessary for a chaotic world. In this way, I think we are in free fall, the old standards no longer apply, the old mythologies/religions are no longer relevant. My hat is off to anyone that can find stability without becoming the lone individual, just watching the swirling chaos, pessimistic no, not me!!

[reasonvemotion]

How To Attract A High Value Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytssyFkNVM8



Thoughts?

[Dubious]

Most of the time communication from a distance.

[reasonvemotion]

I can relate to this comment......

I love that he mentioned the fourth model where a woman is independent and successful but wants to have the male leadership, strength and stability in her life. I'm happily serving the role of a co-pilot and i highly recommend it to any woman. It's absolutely the best and most sustainable dynamic in a relationship

[Dontaskme]

Isn't it marvelous to discover that you are the one you've been waiting for?
That you truly are the love of your life.

No pressure, no stress, no competition, no small talk, no insecurities, no sweat, no drama, just peace and love. And everyone else is a bonus. Everyone else can join you, be around you in your peace, love and tranquility, and in deep respect for your love for solitude.