Got any good jokes?

[attofishpi]

When Jesus's older brother Isus learned of God's plans he suddenly became a devout follower of the anti-nepotism movement.

[attofishpi]

Thanks for removing that one - just woke up and now sober was about to.

[Walker]

Push harder!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... ibiaGk8ue8

[vegetariantaxidermy]

A Holocaust survivor dies and when he gets to heaven he tells God a Holocaust joke. God says, 'That wasn't funny'. Holocaust survivor says 'I guess you had to be there'.

[Walker]

A Holocaust survivor dies and when he gets to heaven he tells God a Holocaust joke. God says, 'That wasn't funny'. Holocaust survivor says 'I guess you had to be there'.

That reminds me a joke Seinfeld told. He called it the funniest Jewish joke in the world …

Two gentile businessmen bump into each other during lunch.
One says, “How’s business?
The other one says, “Great!”

[Walker]

Wife: I want bigger breasts.

Husband: Why? You are beautiful.

Wife: I see you looking at women.

Husband: No, sometimes they walk in front of where I’m already looking.

Wife: Sure. I want bigger breasts.

Husband: Look, just go into the bathroom and put some toilet paper down there in your cleavage.

Wife: What does that have to do with bigger breasts?

Husband: (Shrugging) Well, look what it did for your ass.

[Walker]

The best of American Humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyE59arCiQc

[vegetariantaxidermy]

The best of American Humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyE59arCiQc

He's good. I haven't seen him before. I think American stand-ups are so good because of their guaranteed free speech. Shame that's all changing now. Comedians of the future will be as beige and boring as weak tea with milk.

[attofishpi]

The best of American Humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyE59arCiQc

He's good. I haven't seen him before. I think American stand-ups are so good because of their guaranteed free speech. Shame that's all changing now. Comedians of the future will be as beige and boring as weak tea with milk.

I love Bill Burr.

An Aussie living in the US Jim Jeffries is as far from PC as a comedian can be (maybe after Ricky Gervais)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyN-X9lMw1o

[vegetariantaxidermy]

The best of American Humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyE59arCiQc

He's good. I haven't seen him before. I think American stand-ups are so good because of their guaranteed free speech. Shame that's all changing now. Comedians of the future will be as beige and boring as weak tea with milk.

I love Bill Burr.

An Aussie living in the US Jim Jeffries is as far from PC as a comedian can be (maybe after Ricky Gervais)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyN-X9lMw1o

Some accents just lend themselves to comedy. The harsher the better. Australian is a good one. Scottish. American, of course.

[Walker]

Michael Ramirez is brilliant.

https://www.gocomics.com/michaelramirez/2020/03/21

[attofishpi]

A virus walks into a bar and asks for a corona.

I think that one can certainly be approved on, but I am busy preparing to throw a party for some Chinese graduates that arrived last week.

[Dontaskme]

Prince Philip on growing human population:
“If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily...”


“Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed... We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.”
Philip - Duke of Edinburgh.

Prince Philip - “If I were reincarnated I would...be...as a killer virus..."

[attofishpi]

Oh well, at least it wasn't the salmon mousse.

[Walker]

Couples during quarantine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM6F0yUeBL0