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Kayla wrote: ↑Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:30 am
One of my favorites - in my own top ten - is "Electric Shadows"
a friend of mine is a Chinese girl adopted by Americans - her parents took her back to China for a visit and when she came back she was excited about this movie they showed on their airplane - she found a copy and made me watch it
it starts with this guy riding along on a bicycle and he is not paying too much attention and runs into a pile of bricks, and falls over and then this girl comes out of nowhere and smacks him on the head with a brick - this is set in modern China
later, at the police station, as she is about to be led away, she hands him a key to her apartment and a note saying "I want you to feed my fish" - she is deaf and cannot speak
there are lots of flashbacks to their childhood and its very mild yet powrerful social and political commentary - i can only imagine how powerful it must be for someone who can understand it withotu subtitles and knows the history and culture
Is this like a ten-minute short-short documentary? Because the action you described as the contents of this film is rather terse. He rides a bike, falls, a gurl hits him on the head, arrest, feed my fish.
It sounds more like a haiku than a Shakespearean tragedy.
You really have to visualize how your audience can't read your mind and then you must write according to that.
You only hurt yourself with the abbreviation ticket. People don't get your depth because you annoy them with undecipherable abbreviations, which makes your text meaningless, therefore not worth reading. I am not saying the text is worthless... it's just that its worth is invisible, since it eludes comprehension by the reader.
I am your friend, so I can tell you this. Try to get into the habit of NEVER using abbreviations. Please.
I thank you for considering me as your friend first-most (as yet, noting your thoughtful post - though not knowing you well enough yet - may concur reciprocity-wise (you understand i'm sure)).
Secondly, i agree i should use less abbreviations, as well as post more grammatically soundly - well less !!!!!!! and less .............. and in full sentences. You critic is sould (I've had others from the other forum i was a member of for near 10s - now gone - and why i'm here now - so ya you are right.
You really have to visualize how your audience can't read your mind and then you must write according to that.
You only hurt yourself with the abbreviation ticket. People don't get your depth because you annoy them with undecipherable abbreviations, which makes your text meaningless, therefore not worth reading. I am not saying the text is worthless... it's just that its worth is invisible, since it eludes comprehension by the reader.
I am your friend, so I can tell you this. Try to get into the habit of NEVER using abbreviations. Please.
I thank you for considering me as your friend first-most (as yet, noting your thoughtful post - though not knowing you well enough yet - may concur reciprocity-wise (you understand i'm sure)).
Secondly, i agree i should use less abbreviations, as well as post more grammatically soundly - well less !!!!!!! and less .............. and in full sentences. You critic is sould (I've had others from the other forum i was a member of for near 10s - now gone - and why i'm here now - so ya you are right.
I'll work on my "posting style" as much as i can.
thanks for reply Sir.
No problem, Guffo.
I meant it as constructive advice, and not as a punishing put-down, and I am glad you took my criticism in the same spirit as given.
I won't expect the impossible. My own brother is dyslexic. At this point I think you should only strive to avoid abbreviations. That's a first step, and it will make your texts much easier to read and understand.
But hey, who am I to say what you should or should not do. My suggestion is simply that, a suggestion.
You really have to visualize how your audience can't read your mind and then you must write according to that.
You only hurt yourself with the abbreviation ticket. People don't get your depth because you annoy them with undecipherable abbreviations, which makes your text meaningless, therefore not worth reading. I am not saying the text is worthless... it's just that its worth is invisible, since it eludes comprehension by the reader.
I am your friend, so I can tell you this. Try to get into the habit of NEVER using abbreviations. Please.
I thank you for considering me as your friend first-most (as yet, noting your thoughtful post - though not knowing you well enough yet - may concur reciprocity-wise (you understand i'm sure)).
Secondly, i agree i should use less abbreviations, as well as post more grammatically soundly - well less !!!!!!! and less .............. and in full sentences. You critic is sould (I've had others from the other forum i was a member of for near 10s - now gone - and why i'm here now - so ya you are right.
I'll work on my "posting style" as much as i can.
thanks for reply Sir.
No problem, Guffo.
I meant it as constructive advice, and not as a punishing put-down, and I am glad you took my criticism in the same spirit as given.
As i understood it.
hope all is well enough for you.
just idea (this forum is "dead" - not may here, compared to my old haunt - do you have in idea worthy of is own thread? - if so and topic of interest to me will reply to).
