Poetry here.
Re: Poetry here.
Two one three one, two one three
This is how the rhyming goes
When words appear for free
Chaos is a word shy of rhyme
Rhyme courts shadows all the time
When the measure of treasure is pleasure
And the world in a grain of sand
The man who gathers up land
Finds he should have played in the band
Where boys make noise with toys,
At the bonfire on the beach
Fading youth and the new peach
Teach the niche then reach
For stars like diamonds, like joys
Free of snare or trap
Seals slick in the sea-foam clap
Their best with fins that flap
This is how the rhyming goes
When words appear for free
Chaos is a word shy of rhyme
Rhyme courts shadows all the time
When the measure of treasure is pleasure
And the world in a grain of sand
The man who gathers up land
Finds he should have played in the band
Where boys make noise with toys,
At the bonfire on the beach
Fading youth and the new peach
Teach the niche then reach
For stars like diamonds, like joys
Free of snare or trap
Seals slick in the sea-foam clap
Their best with fins that flap
Re: Poetry here.
Again With The Method
Kentucky is where the girls grin
Drink gin and whistle at men
They will eat the whole pie
If they ever feel shy
While craving the need for a sin
In Missouri a boy named Huck
Who was never down on his luck
Though only a youth
Vowed to always speak truth
Even when craving a song
So early in the morning
Kentucky is where the girls grin
Drink gin and whistle at men
They will eat the whole pie
If they ever feel shy
While craving the need for a sin
In Missouri a boy named Huck
Who was never down on his luck
Though only a youth
Vowed to always speak truth
Even when craving a song
So early in the morning
- attofishpi
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Re: Poetry here.
Goon Bag
Oh tempt me thy sauvignon blanc
as you did the night before
left me in disgrace
now its morning
serve thy grace
a ripped open box
a silvered sheath
for breakfast thy lace
time to milk you
once again
time again
to tap the forum
with thy toxic feign
Oh tempt me thy sauvignon blanc
as you did the night before
left me in disgrace
now its morning
serve thy grace
a ripped open box
a silvered sheath
for breakfast thy lace
time to milk you
once again
time again
to tap the forum
with thy toxic feign
Re: Poetry here.
attofishpi wrote:Goon Bag
Oh tempt me thy sauvignon blanc
as you did the night before
left me in disgrace
now its morning
serve thy grace
a ripped open box
a silvered sheath
for breakfast thy lace
time to milk you
once again
time again
to tap the forum
with thy toxic feign
Popeye and the Goons, driving Jeeps.
In-depth critical analysis: For consistency with the totality of the message, toxic would be a wonderful title, and keep the mahvalous artful twist in the last line that once again echoes the theme, and slyly hints of the continuance that good poems, as you have obviously learned, never really end but leak out into life in the most unexpected ways. Continue with the small caps instincts on to the title, so that the first O stands out.
- attofishpi
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- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:10 am
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Re: Poetry here.
To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!Walker wrote:Popeye and the Goons, driving Jeeps.
In-depth critical analysis: For consistency with the totality of the message, toxic would be a wonderful title, and keep the mahvalous artful twist in the last line that once again echoes the theme, and slyly hints of the continuance that good poems, as you have obviously learned, never really end but leak out into life in the most unexpected ways. Continue with the small caps instincts on to the title, so that the first O stands out.
-
ForCruxSake
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- Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:48 am
Re: Poetry here.
I took an A'Level in English and remember finding poetry -meh-. It was the easiest stuff to answer exam questions on but the worst thing to take pleasure from, for me. I knew song lyrics were poetry, and that even cheap hallmark card greetings counted as poetry, but the fact that the poetry I was studying at that level, was held aloft as the finest that English verse had to offer, left me cold. I much preferred the articulacy and story-telling power of prose.attofishpi wrote:To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!
I went to university to study English and it was there I suddenly 'got it'. As an artistic from of expression, I suddenly got the point and appreciated it's craft. I now write the most -meh- poetry of my own and enjoy it!
- attofishpi
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Re: Poetry here.
Good. So post some!ForCruxSake wrote:I took an A'Level in English and remember finding poetry -meh-. It was the easiest stuff to answer exam questions on but the worst thing to take pleasure from, for me. I knew song lyrics were poetry, and that even cheap hallmark card greetings counted as poetry, but the fact that the poetry I was studying at that level, was held aloft as the finest that English verse had to offer, left me cold. I much preferred the articulacy and story-telling power of prose.attofishpi wrote:To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!
I went to university to study English and it was there I suddenly 'got it'. As an artistic from of expression, I suddenly got the point and appreciated it's craft. I now write the most -meh- poetry of my own and enjoy it!
- attofishpi
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Re: Poetry here.
Further to this i did not question whether you are aware of the slang term "Goon Bag" - its the only reason its the title.attofishpi wrote:To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!Walker wrote:Popeye and the Goons, driving Jeeps.
In-depth critical analysis: For consistency with the totality of the message, toxic would be a wonderful title, and keep the mahvalous artful twist in the last line that once again echoes the theme, and slyly hints of the continuance that good poems, as you have obviously learned, never really end but leak out into life in the most unexpected ways. Continue with the small caps instincts on to the title, so that the first O stands out.
Re: Poetry here.
Yes. Mine was a commentary on word origin. Popeye gets close to the origins of those words. Putting just one new word into the lexicon would be cool. Shakespeare added quite a few and nod to the bard, we're fresh off the Ides of March. I’m neutral towards poetry. Can take it or leave it. The philosophy is to take it completely or leave it until it appears again, if ever.attofishpi wrote:Further to this i did not question whether you are aware of the slang term "Goon Bag" - its the only reason its the title.attofishpi wrote:To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!Walker wrote:Popeye and the Goons, driving Jeeps.
In-depth critical analysis: For consistency with the totality of the message, toxic would be a wonderful title, and keep the mahvalous artful twist in the last line that once again echoes the theme, and slyly hints of the continuance that good poems, as you have obviously learned, never really end but leak out into life in the most unexpected ways. Continue with the small caps instincts on to the title, so that the first O stands out.
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ForCruxSake
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:48 am
Re: Poetry here.
Ok... Deep breath.... Here's three. Choosing your own poetry for show can be agony, so I've randomly selected one document, from a folder marked 'Poetry', selected all the text and copy-pasted. They must have been written at the same time. I don't actually remember them. I think they might be unfinished, or simply just forgotten about. Poetic vomit I forgot to clean up! Now I'm just making excuses.attofishpi wrote:Good. So post some!ForCruxSake wrote:
I went to university to study English and it was there I suddenly 'got it'. As an artistic from of expression, I suddenly got the point and appreciated it's craft. I now write the most -meh- poetry of my own and enjoy it!
Bloody hell, just read them. They're a bit 'out there'.
------------------------------------
TRUTH
Little voices gather
From whimpers to a storm
From cyclones of information
Veracity will form
Conspiracy theories
Ancient legends and myths
Make us storytellers
Inventive wordsmiths
Whistleblowers, traitors
Crazy people that talk
Stories do emerge to
Seal the tongues that fork
Things that rest beyond our reach
And naked to the eye
Tormenting science and spirit
Allow the lies to fly
How to unravel
Invention from what's actual?
Even exaggeration is built
On events that are factual
Integrity will force us
To continue with such sleuth
To discover what can't be hidden
The stars, sun, moon and truth
--------------
LIES
My heart is crushed repeatedly
By the weight of each 'little' lie
Do you sneer and find me trivial?
Do your eyes roll as I die?
It's not me you find oppressive
For truth should set you free
It's fear of under valued worth
The coward's poetry
----------------
FAILURE
I want to be the cool of the morning air
Not oppressive noontime heat
I want to lift you up
Not knock you off your feet
I want so much to love you
To show you what you're worth
To value that you're living
And here to rock my earth
I failed again, just like before
And blame the march of time
For time itself, repeats itself
In ordered cyclic crime
"Let me go!" I often cry
Though you're no longer here
A spectre of what I long for
Creates and haunts my fear
Last edited by ForCruxSake on Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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ForCruxSake
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- Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:48 am
Re: Poetry here.
I feel a bit 'wobbly' posting that up now. Ironically, I'm too afraid to take it down for fear of being thought a coward! 
- attofishpi
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Re: Poetry here.
3 awesome poems - why keep them to yourself..I'm glad you posted them. There is similarity to what i write - but far more structured, likely as a result of your education regarding the subject of poetry.ForCruxSake wrote:I feel a bit 'wobbly' posting that up now. Ironically, I'm too afraid to take it down for fear of being thought a coward!
I have to admit most of my 'poetry' has been written after consumption of alcohol - not sure why!
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ForCruxSake
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:48 am
Re: Poetry here.
That's really sweet, attofishpi. Thank you. You'll be the first person other than myself to have seen these poems, I think. (I'm wondering if I was ever stupid enough to send them to the object of my lost affection?)attofishpi wrote:3 awesome poems - why keep them to yourself..I'm glad you posted them. There is similarity to what i write - but far more structured, likely as a result of your education regarding the subject of poetry.ForCruxSake wrote:I feel a bit 'wobbly' posting that up now. Ironically, I'm too afraid to take it down for fear of being thought a coward!
I have to admit most of my 'poetry' has been written after consumption of alcohol - not sure why!
I noticed the mention of 'sauvignon blanc', so if alcohol is your muse, she's managed to get herself a mention in one of your poems. I tend to have 'outbursts' of poetry, usually in the equally intoxicating delirium of high emotion.
Sometimes it's not as if I write it but that it uses me as a tool to express itself! I've written a couple of funny ones too, but I think I specialise in verse-ache!
Another from you, perhaps?
- attofishpi
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- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:10 am
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Re: Poetry here.
Hahaha - oh dear not quite wasted on this dog.ForCruxSake wrote:That's really sweet, attofishpi. Thank you. You'll be the first person other than myself to have seen these poems, I think. (I'm wondering if I was ever stupid enough to send them to the object of my lost affection?)attofishpi wrote:3 awesome poems - why keep them to yourself..I'm glad you posted them. There is similarity to what i write - but far more structured, likely as a result of your education regarding the subject of poetry.ForCruxSake wrote:I feel a bit 'wobbly' posting that up now. Ironically, I'm too afraid to take it down for fear of being thought a coward!
I have to admit most of my 'poetry' has been written after consumption of alcohol - not sure why!
Sure - i've recently started a thread which got moved to the Lounge area re the Celtic Goddess Ancasta. I wrote this sometime ago - its all about the region i was born and since it is about the rivers near where the inscription was found - perhaps the ebb and flow that ultimately created me, i will name it Ancasta....not much by way of formal structure im afraid.ForCruxSake wrote:I noticed the mention of 'sauvignon blanc', so if alcohol is your muse, she's managed to get herself a mention in one of your poems. I tend to have 'outbursts' of poetry, usually in the equally intoxicating delirium of high emotion.
Sometimes it's not as if I write it but that it uses me as a tool to express itself! I've written a couple of funny ones too, but I think I specialise in verse-ache!
Another from you, perhaps?
Ancasta
This star it shines upon
where it glistens still
where it feeds the soul a quest
to fulfill.
Enter the Test where the sol ent'ers
little child to question Wight.
Itchen to know this little mind
dispensed upon the earth rather blind.
Running through the chaos of time
knocked down and placed well out of line.
From here the child sees much more than they
and reluctant to return to their ridiculous fray.
So here it remains
here to stay
Why?
Why?
Y?
Well, lets take a punt
Cos its shallow here
And the hEart of us
cares not.
DEAE ANCASTAE GEMINVS MANI VSLM
Re: Poetry here.
Understood, though the comments go more to cause and effect than rules.attofishpi wrote:To be honest ive never been big on any rules and structure to poetry. In my English class i used to get poor marks for poetry while my good mate beside me used to post lyrics from thrash bands he liked and always got better marks than me!Walker wrote:Popeye and the Goons, driving Jeeps.
In-depth critical analysis: For consistency with the totality of the message, toxic would be a wonderful title, and keep the mahvalous artful twist in the last line that once again echoes the theme, and slyly hints of the continuance that good poems, as you have obviously learned, never really end but leak out into life in the most unexpected ways. Continue with the small caps instincts on to the title, so that the first O stands out.