Congratulations to American Scientists!

[Lacewing]

divine: 1. of or relating to a god, especially the Supreme Being (exactly what the fuck are you driving at anyway?).

Why are you getting so testy? I just wanted to know what your idea of divine was. Dictionary meanings only go so far.

I'm not aware of anybody else claiming to be a prophet, and if you know of one, I'd like to see his credentials.

Okay, so you accept other people as being divinely-inspired and guided, you just don't want to share your self-proclaimed/accredited prophet status with anyone else.

I guess we should actually feel sorry for you. The prophet status is a thankless job. It does not require extraordinary intelligence or skills or effectiveness or mental balance. It means that you may be prone to strange mutterings, which no one takes seriously or cares about, and which you may not even understand the meaning of yourself. You may have hallucinations and wander around naked. And you're likely to have recurring fits of insanity, or to actually think that your perspective (in any given delusional moment) applies to everyone and all else. Gee, Bob... I'm sorry. That sucks, and it makes you suck too.

Hopefully you will find a way to contribute something beneficial to humankind before your time runs out. Otherwise you were just a hapless and hopeless victim of chaotic cosmic energies. I wish you well.

[FlashDangerpants]

It was as though God and Satan had battled over my mind while I slept, and God had won.

It seems that result must have been overturned in the re-match. Perhaps Jello wrestling was involved.

[uwot]

It was as though God and Satan had battled over my mind while I slept, and God had won.

It seems that result must have been overturned in the re-match. Perhaps Jello wrestling was involved.

What I don't get is why either would want it.

[FlashDangerpants]

It's probably a deceptively spacious property, not exactly cluttered in there.

[Lacewing]

It was as though God and Satan had battled over my mind while I slept, and God had won.

What I don't get is why either would want it.

Maybe they were trying to trick each other into ending up with it.

[bobevenson]

I'm not aware of anybody else claiming to be a prophet, and if you know of one, I'd like to see his credentials.

Okay, so you accept other people as being divinely-inspired and guided, you just don't want to share your self-proclaimed/accredited prophet status with anyone else.

What the hell's wrong with you? All I'm saying is that if any son-of-a-bitch on this planet calls himself a prophet, he better be able to prove it like I have by submitting mystical documentation. Otherwise, he's just another jerk-off talking out of his ass like so many posters in this forum, including you, by the way!

[Lacewing]

All I'm saying is that if any son-of-a-bitch on this planet calls himself a prophet, he better be able to prove it like I have by submitting mystical documentation.

What are the qualifying requirements for such mystical documentation -- and who determines if it's authentic?

[FlashDangerpants]

That was an inspired question lace. I think you must be a prophet too. I can draw a certificate to authenticate your awesome if you like?

[Lacewing]

That was an inspired question lace. I think you must be a prophet too. I can draw a certificate to authenticate your awesome if you like?

Thank you Flash! I'm most honored! I don't know how many witnesses might be required to sign it. I suppose we should wait to see what Bob answers since he's the authority on fake credentials.

[Philosophy Explorer]

That was an inspired question lace. I think you must be a prophet too. I can draw a certificate to authenticate your awesome if you like?

Thank you Flash! I'm most honored! I don't know how many witnesses might be required to sign it. I suppose we should wait to see what Bob answers since he's the authority on fake credentials.

I would act as a witness to authenticate you.

PhilX

[bobevenson]

All I'm saying is that if any son-of-a-bitch on this planet calls himself a prophet, he better be able to prove it like I have by submitting mystical documentation.

What are the qualifying requirements for such mystical documentation -- and who determines if it's authentic?

Any piece of mystical documentation must be evaluated on its own merits. Obviously, it has to be related in some way to a spiritual matter, but it must defy rational analysis or explanation, like the credentials I've submitted.

[thedoc]

How did this thread degenerate from a thread of people making fun of a stupid flag waving Bob to a thread of people making fun of a stupid prophet Bob? Oh I know, Bob kept posting stupid shit for people to make fun of.

[thedoc]

That was an inspired question lace. I think you must be a prophet too. I can draw a certificate to authenticate your awesome if you like?

Thank you Flash! I'm most honored! I don't know how many witnesses might be required to sign it. I suppose we should wait to see what Bob answers since he's the authority on fake credentials.

I would act as a witness to authenticate you.

PhilX

Of course you all understand that for it to be an authentic fake credential, it will need forged signatures, and you will all have to state, in writing, that you did not actually sign the document in question. This would put it in the same category as Bob's credentials that he is so proud to brag about, but mean nothing at all. If this is all clear, you may carry on. Oh, and in this case I would think that 10 forged witnesses would be sufficient, and remember the notary seal must be forged as well.

[Obvious Leo]

but it must defy rational analysis or explanation,

I'm in no doubt whatsoever that you're a divinely inspired prophet, Bob, because this has been the signature feature of such persons throughout human history. Their utterances defy rational analysis or explanation. However modern medicine is making steady progress in this field and such an appalling disability may eventually be curable.

[Lacewing]

What are the qualifying requirements for such mystical documentation -- and who determines if it's authentic?

Any piece of mystical documentation must be evaluated on its own merits. Obviously, it has to be related in some way to a spiritual matter, but it must defy rational analysis or explanation, like the credentials I've submitted.

So, Bob, suppose a person claims to be a prophet and authenticates their own credentials. Then you challenge their claims, and demand to see their mystical documentation and credentials. In considering their argument, even if it's elaborately imaginative -- you end up asking yourself, "So what?" And your conclusion is that the person's made-up credentials do not prove they are a prophet. So, are they a prophet (simply because they want to think so) if their credentials do not convince anybody, nor demonstrate any value? Because this would be the situation we have here with you. Who determines if someone's "credentials" are actually valid and useful?

I would act as a witness to authenticate you

Thanks PhilX!!! Gosh, I'm already two votes up from Bob's ZERO.

Of course you all understand that for it to be an authentic fake credential, it will need forged signatures, and you will all have to state, in writing, that you did not actually sign the document in question.