I give up on all things in life

[Obvious Leo]

ML. You didn't answer the question I put to you in another thread? Are you receiving professional medical help for your condition?

[Arising_uk]

You say that I am a phony since you think I am lying about me being a composer. ...

Nope, we just think you're not a composer as you don't compose.

... I have no youtube links to any compositions of mine since I have yet to learn how to actually produce them how I hear them. ...

Try learning to write music or play the piano or depending upon what sort of music you are talking about learn how to use one of the innumerable music apps that are out there. You appear to think that just thinking you can do something means you have done it? In your case I agree with Bill for once, take a first step.

[Bill Wiltrack]

.




.............................................................Good to see that you too are maturing...








............................................................







.

[Arising_uk]

I see no sign of this in you.

[hazlett]

So what it all comes down to now is the afterlife. The eternal blissful afterlife is the only life I have to look forward to now since this life I have now is a waste to me. As long as a life consists of much depression, illness, and suffering, I find it to be a wasted meaningless life that also wastes away my composing dream as well. But if I do get to live on in this afterlife, then I can truly compose and find meaning and joy in doing so since I will be in a good mood for all eternity and will have no more suffering and depression in my life anymore. I can then become famous all I want and finally enjoy my fame all I want with no more suffering and illnesses taking any of that away from me. So for now, I am giving up on my composing and saving it for the next life.

Didn't you ever think that your life now can be your pre-life and your afterlife can be the result of how you live your life here? You're not the only composer or musician that experienced depression and illness. Some give up too and their ending is failure. Some succeed despite their illness because, they choose to live productively. Remember, the world will never stop revolving because, you choose to give up. Life is not just popularity, fame and worldly riches.

[MozartLink]

If I were to find that new sense of joy and meaning in my life somehow which is a non-hedonistic version of joy and meaning that does not come through physical pleasure (good moods), then what would that experience be like for me? Is it nothing more than the experience of just simply dealing with your depression/absence of pleasure while having the mindset of moving forward, pursuing your goals/dreams, and doing something with your life? If this is all this experience is, then count me out. I see nothing here.

This experience has to actually offer me something like a good mood. It has to actually offer me a joyful, transcending, and life-filling experience like my good moods have. But if I find there to be no such experience for me, then I am truly done living here. I will, without a doubt, put an end to my life.

[Hobbes' Choice]

If I were to find that new sense of joy and meaning in my life somehow which is a non-hedonistic version of joy and meaning that does not come through physical pleasure (good moods), then what would that experience be like for me? Is it nothing more than the experience of just simply dealing with your depression/absence of pleasure while having the mindset of moving forward, pursuing your goals/dreams, and doing something with your life? If this is all this experience is, then count me out. I see nothing here.

This experience has to actually offer me something like a good mood. It has to actually offer me a joyful, transcending, and life-filling experience like my good moods have. But if I find there to be no such experience for me, then I am truly done living here. I will, without a doubt, put an end to my life.

Fuck! Are you still here? People say that suicide is just a plea for help; a form of attention seeking behaviour. Are you not embarrassed by your shameful behaviour? I admire people that just get on with it. It's more honest.

This is my final message to everyone here. I give up.

I suppose this way just too much to ask for.

[MozartLink]

If I were to find that new sense of joy and meaning in my life somehow which is a non-hedonistic version of joy and meaning that does not come through physical pleasure (good moods), then what would that experience be like for me? Is it nothing more than the experience of just simply dealing with your depression/absence of pleasure while having the mindset of moving forward, pursuing your goals/dreams, and doing something with your life? If this is all this experience is, then count me out. I see nothing here.

This experience has to actually offer me something like a good mood. It has to actually offer me a joyful, transcending, and life-filling experience like my good moods have. But if I find there to be no such experience for me, then I am truly done living here. I will, without a doubt, put an end to my life.

Fuck! Are you still here? People say that suicide is just a plea for help; a form of attention seeking behaviour. Are you not embarrassed by your shameful behaviour? I admire people that just get on with it. It's more honest.

This is my final message to everyone here. I give up.

I suppose this way just too much to ask for.

I came here to seek the answer to that question I just made first. If the answer is "Yes, it is an experience like my good moods," then I won't commit suicide. But if the answer is "No," then I am out of here.

[Hobbes' Choice]

I came here to seek the answer to that question I just made first. If the answer is "Yes, it is an experience like my good moods," then I won't commit suicide. But if the answer is "No," then I am out of here.

This is the wrong place to seek that answer.

If you no longer think that listening to music is enough reason to live, then I can't see why you'd want to live.

[PapersOwl]

I know it was long ago but I really hope this guy is Okay, so depressed person of art

[Dalek Prime]

I know it was long ago but I really hope this guy is Okay, so depressed person of art

Not so long actually. Anyways, don't worry about it. Eventually this forum drives everyone to want to pull the trigger on themself... No, I'm kidding.... Kind of....

[Lacewing]

I know it was long ago but I really hope this guy is Okay, so depressed person of art

The fact that he mustered as much passion and energy as he did towards his angst, seems to show that he's not withering -- rather, it's just a matter of how he is habitually/obsessively directing it.