The Professor and the Blonde

[vegetariantaxidermy]

No, Artificial intelligence.

That's pretty good, although the whole 'dumb blonde' thing started with artificial blondes in the first place so there's irony here.

You are mistaken. The blonde in the OP was clearly smarter than the perfesser, and was real down to the fur. No irony, just the typical stupidity of a nitwit who never learned how to read competently.

Isn't there an eggplant out there awaiting your taxidermy expertise?

Greylorn

I wasn't referring to your story. I suppose that's because you didn't learn how to read competently.

[Systematic]

To the OP: That's funny. He doesn't know shit—both literally and figuratively.

[Greylorn Ell]

To the OP: That's funny. He doesn't know shit—both literally and figuratively.

Sys...

I wonder if, by way of furthering the learning process, a vegetarian might submit one of his prize turds to the taxidermy process? Little blue glass eyes would convince dimwits that it might have had a modicum of consciousness, before being cruelly drowned in the biffy.

I envision the product as potentially worth big bucks at any New York City exhibit of modern art. I envision entire families of taxidermied turds, each with distinct heritages, histories, and personalities. Move aside, Andy Warhol!

Greylorn

[vegetariantaxidermy]

To the OP: That's funny. He doesn't know shit—both literally and figuratively.

Sys...

I wonder if, by way of furthering the learning process, a vegetarian might submit one of his prize turds to the taxidermy process? Little blue glass eyes would convince dimwits that it might have had a modicum of consciousness, before being cruelly drowned in the biffy.

I envision the product as potentially worth big bucks at any New York City exhibit of modern art. I envision entire families of taxidermied turds, each with distinct heritages, histories, and personalities. Move aside, Andy Warhol!

Greylorn

I see now why you are so 'popular' on here. Btw, you clearly intended irony in your little story, otherwise why mention the hair colour in the first place? We were obviously supposed to think, 'Ooh, the 'dumb blonde' is cleverer than the professor. Oh my, how original and brilliant'.

[Greylorn Ell]

To the OP: That's funny. He doesn't know shit—both literally and figuratively.

Sys...

I wonder if, by way of furthering the learning process, a vegetarian might submit one of his prize turds to the taxidermy process? Little blue glass eyes would convince dimwits that it might have had a modicum of consciousness, before being cruelly drowned in the biffy.

I envision the product as potentially worth big bucks at any New York City exhibit of modern art. I envision entire families of taxidermied turds, each with distinct heritages, histories, and personalities. Move aside, Andy Warhol!

Greylorn

I see now why you are so 'popular' on here. Btw, you clearly intended irony in your little story, otherwise why mention the hair colour in the first place? We were obviously supposed to think, 'Ooh, the 'dumb blonde' is cleverer than the professor. Oh my, how original and brilliant'.

I don't do popularity very well, but am fond of engagement-- with boundaries set at the no-pinhead level, where you seem to be living. Are you about 17 years old, abused by younger sisters and ignored by your mother, or merely retarded?

G

[vegetariantaxidermy]

I don't do popularity very well, but am fond of engagement-- with boundaries set at the no-pinhead level, where you seem to be living. Are you about 17 years old, abused by younger sisters and ignored by your mother, or merely retarded?

G

None of the above.

[Blaggard]

[Greylorn Ell]

Blaggard,

Great stuff! Thank you!

Sorry about the delay, but I've been in the forum clink for a month or so, probably for being an asshole. Go figure?

Wish that I could pass them along to my grandkids, but alas, they are as blonde as their intelligent and accomplished mother.

Greylorn

[Greylorn Ell]

I don't do popularity very well, but am fond of engagement-- with boundaries set at the no-pinhead level, where you seem to be living. Are you about 17 years old, abused by younger sisters and ignored by your mother, or merely retarded?

G

None of the above.

VGT,

Then, what is the source of your problem? I'm willing to help you find a fix, and am good at such things, given honest information. PM if you wish.

Greylorn

[Hobbes' Choice]

The attractive blonde in the first class window seat glanced up briefly when
a well-dressed gentleman took his place to her left, before returning to her
book. Her seatmate buckled himself in before takeoff, noticing that except for
her initial glance, she had ignored him completely. Once airborne with drinks
served, he turned his head enough to check her out, favorably. Glancing at
the book she was reading, he caught part of the title, "...Analog Soul," and a
section-heading which read, "The Origin of the God Concept."

At that point he turned to her and said, "Excuse me, I'm Professor Johnson, and
I wonder if you might enjoy a in-flight conversation instead of a book that you
can read later?"

She closed the book over her thumb and politely asked, "What would you like to
discuss that might interest me?"

"Given the apparent content of your book, and the fact that I'm a atheist
and you are reading what appears to be some kind of religious book, I'd be
happy to save you some worthless reading time. I'll explain to you why science
and philosophy have made all religious ideas obsolete."

"Are you qualified to do that?" she respectfully asked.

"I have a basic degree in Biology, a master's degree in Evolutionary
Anthropology and I am a full Professor of Philosophy," he replied smugly. "You
will be hard put to find someone more qualified."

"I'm impressed," she smiled, "but first have a question that you might be able
to answer. Deer, cows, and horses all eat the same kinds of food-- grasses and
other plants. Yet deer excrete their waste in the form of smallish pellets,
while cows produce wet pies, and horses poop apple-sized clumps. Why these
differences?"

The professor considered this and replied, "Well, I don't exactly know, but
how does that matter?"

Before returning to her book the woman said, "So let me put this together.
You want to discuss God, the human soul, a potential afterlife, perhaps even
the creation of the universe and the origin of human consciousness, but you
don't know shit?"

I'm not sure what the point of the joke is.
Obviously the Prof is not what he appears, as the blonde is already ahead of him reading a part of the Book called the God Concept, which implies that God is nothing more than an idea. As for his degree in Biology, he should be able to hazard a guess and the basic mechanics of the ruminant alimentary canal which results in the different constitution of the different types of shit.
This materialist explanation, would not have to address a teleological explanation the any idea of a designer god and WHY he made shit in so many different ways. Nature needs no explanation, divinity with the assumption of conscious contrivance would have to produce a good reason why a cow pat is wet, and goat shit is pelleted.

I would have to conclude that the man is not what he says he is, but is actually trying to fulfil his evolutionary imperative to get inside the knickers of the Blonde.

[Greylorn Ell]

The attractive blonde in the first class window seat glanced up briefly when
a well-dressed gentleman took his place to her left, before returning to her
book. Her seatmate buckled himself in before takeoff, noticing that except for
her initial glance, she had ignored him completely. Once airborne with drinks
served, he turned his head enough to check her out, favorably. Glancing at
the book she was reading, he caught part of the title, "...Analog Soul," and a
section-heading which read, "The Origin of the God Concept."

At that point he turned to her and said, "Excuse me, I'm Professor Johnson, and
I wonder if you might enjoy a in-flight conversation instead of a book that you
can read later?"

She closed the book over her thumb and politely asked, "What would you like to
discuss that might interest me?"

"Given the apparent content of your book, and the fact that I'm an atheist
and you are reading what appears to be some kind of religious book, I'd be
happy to save you some worthless reading time. I'll explain to you why science
and philosophy have made all religious ideas obsolete."

"Are you qualified to do that?" she respectfully asked.

"I have a basic degree in Biology, a master's degree in Evolutionary
Anthropology and I am a full Professor of Philosophy," he replied smugly. "You
will be hard put to find someone more qualified."

"I'm impressed," she smiled, "but first have a question that you might be able
to answer. Deer, cows, and horses all eat the same kinds of food-- grasses and
other plants. Yet deer excrete their waste in the form of smallish pellets,
while cows produce wet pies, and horses poop apple-sized clumps. Why these
differences?"

The professor considered this and replied, "Well, I don't exactly know, but
how does that matter?"

Before returning to her book the woman said, "So let me put this together.
You want to discuss God, the human soul, a potential afterlife, perhaps even
the creation of the universe and the origin of human consciousness, but you
don't know shit?"

I'm not sure what the point of the joke is.
Obviously the Prof is not what he appears, as the blonde is already ahead of him reading a part of the Book called the God Concept, which implies that God is nothing more than an idea. As for his degree in Biology, he should be able to hazard a guess and the basic mechanics of the ruminant alimentary canal which results in the different constitution of the different types of shit.
This materialist explanation, would not have to address a teleological explanation the any idea of a designer god and WHY he made shit in so many different ways. Nature needs no explanation, divinity with the assumption of conscious contrivance would have to produce a good reason why a cow pat is wet, and goat shit is pelleted.

I would have to conclude that the man is not what he says he is, but is actually trying to fulfil his evolutionary imperative to get inside the knickers of the Blonde.

H.C.

This is very good. I will explain the point of the joke, but first, a few comments.

The book she was reading is not called the "God Concept." The joke clearly refers to a section within the book subtitled, "Origin of the God Concept." Even that title does not imply that God is no more than an idea. It certainly does imply some ideas about the nature and properties of God.

We have developed a melange of concepts about human beings. Assuming that you are one, does the existence of ideas about your nature imply that you are no more than a concept?

Yes, the professor might have donned his biology hat and ventured some guesses, thereby killing the joke. But the joke stayed true to those who have BS level biology degrees. I was married to a biology graduate once, and I knew more about biology than she did without ever taking so much as a high school course in the subject. Books are useful.

And although I can figure out if a bear, cougar, deer, or ringtail cat was scrounging around my yard last night, I have no clue either about the causal characteristics of animal shit. I can tell you that horseshit does not stick to shoe soles.

I agree with your compelling analysis of the professor' motives. Now, the point of the joke...

Several months ago I made a bet with a friend that within 180 days I could get an ersatz philosopher on this forum to discuss shit in a suitably erudite and philosophical manner. I'll be visiting him this weekend to drink some cheap wine and collect my $20. Thank you!

Greylorn

[Hobbes' Choice]

The attractive blonde in the first class window seat glanced up briefly when
a well-dressed gentleman took his place to her left, before returning to her
book. Her seatmate buckled himself in before takeoff, noticing that except for
her initial glance, she had ignored him completely. Once airborne with drinks
served, he turned his head enough to check her out, favorably. Glancing at
the book she was reading, he caught part of the title, "...Analog Soul," and a
section-heading which read, "The Origin of the God Concept."

At that point he turned to her and said, "Excuse me, I'm Professor Johnson, and
I wonder if you might enjoy a in-flight conversation instead of a book that you
can read later?"

She closed the book over her thumb and politely asked, "What would you like to
discuss that might interest me?"

"Given the apparent content of your book, and the fact that I'm an atheist
and you are reading what appears to be some kind of religious book, I'd be
happy to save you some worthless reading time. I'll explain to you why science
and philosophy have made all religious ideas obsolete."

"Are you qualified to do that?" she respectfully asked.

"I have a basic degree in Biology, a master's degree in Evolutionary
Anthropology and I am a full Professor of Philosophy," he replied smugly. "You
will be hard put to find someone more qualified."

"I'm impressed," she smiled, "but first have a question that you might be able
to answer. Deer, cows, and horses all eat the same kinds of food-- grasses and
other plants. Yet deer excrete their waste in the form of smallish pellets,
while cows produce wet pies, and horses poop apple-sized clumps. Why these
differences?"

The professor considered this and replied, "Well, I don't exactly know, but
how does that matter?"

Before returning to her book the woman said, "So let me put this together.
You want to discuss God, the human soul, a potential afterlife, perhaps even
the creation of the universe and the origin of human consciousness, but you
don't know shit?"

I'm not sure what the point of the joke is.
Obviously the Prof is not what he appears, as the blonde is already ahead of him reading a part of the Book called the God Concept, which implies that God is nothing more than an idea. As for his degree in Biology, he should be able to hazard a guess and the basic mechanics of the ruminant alimentary canal which results in the different constitution of the different types of shit.
This materialist explanation, would not have to address a teleological explanation the any idea of a designer god and WHY he made shit in so many different ways. Nature needs no explanation, divinity with the assumption of conscious contrivance would have to produce a good reason why a cow pat is wet, and goat shit is pelleted.

I would have to conclude that the man is not what he says he is, but is actually trying to fulfil his evolutionary imperative to get inside the knickers of the Blonde.

H.C.

This is very good. I will explain the point of the joke, but first, a few comments.

The book she was reading is not called the "God Concept." The joke clearly refers to a section within the book subtitled, "Origin of the God Concept." Even that title does not imply that God is no more than an idea. It certainly does imply some ideas about the nature and properties of God.

We have developed a melange of concepts about human beings. Assuming that you are one, does the existence of ideas about your nature imply that you are no more than a concept?

Yes, the professor might have donned his biology hat and ventured some guesses, thereby killing the joke. But the joke stayed true to those who have BS level biology degrees. I was married to a biology graduate once, and I knew more about biology than she did without ever taking so much as a high school course in the subject. Books are useful.

And although I can figure out if a bear, cougar, deer, or ringtail cat was scrounging around my yard last night, I have no clue either about the causal characteristics of animal shit. I can tell you that horseshit does not stick to shoe soles.

I agree with your compelling analysis of the professor' motives. Now, the point of the joke...

Several months ago I made a bet with a friend that within 180 days I could get an ersatz philosopher on this forum to discuss shit in a suitably erudite and philosophical manner. I'll be visiting him this weekend to drink some cheap wine and collect my $20. Thank you!

Greylorn

The existence of humans requires no conceptualisation; god relies wholly on a concept. The analogy is false.
Any concepts about humans follow the existence of humans, such is not the case with god. God is a concept that follows from man's inability to grasp nature.


I studied some biology as a younger man, but the philosophy of science, particularly Darwin in later life. Amusingly, in the UK a science degree is call a BSc, where BS has a completely different meaning. My studies, taught me about a particular species of shit: namely Bullshit. And the smell of it is beginning to emerge from your post.

PS. you don't deserve the $20, as you started shitting on the Forum first.

PPS. You didn't explain the meaning of the joke; only your bogus reason for writing it. The joke's on you.

[Greylorn Ell]

The existence of humans requires no conceptualisation; god relies wholly on a concept. The analogy is false.
Any concepts about humans follow the existence of humans, such is not the case with god. God is a concept that follows from man's inability to grasp nature.


I studied some biology as a younger man, but the philosophy of science, particularly Darwin in later life. Amusingly, in the UK a science degree is call a BSc, where BS has a completely different meaning. My studies, taught me about a particular species of shit: namely Bullshit. And the smell of it is beginning to emerge from your post.

PS. you don't deserve the $20, as you started shitting on the Forum first.

PPS. You didn't explain the meaning of the joke; only your bogus reason for writing it. The joke's on you.

H.C.

Sorry. You at first seemed to be a worthy correspondent, but you take yourself way too seriously and have no sense of humor. Boring, ordinary, pedantic. Goodbye.

Greylorn

[Hobbes' Choice]

The existence of humans requires no conceptualisation; god relies wholly on a concept. The analogy is false.
Any concepts about humans follow the existence of humans, such is not the case with god. God is a concept that follows from man's inability to grasp nature.


I studied some biology as a younger man, but the philosophy of science, particularly Darwin in later life. Amusingly, in the UK a science degree is call a BSc, where BS has a completely different meaning. My studies, taught me about a particular species of shit: namely Bullshit. And the smell of it is beginning to emerge from your post.

PS. you don't deserve the $20, as you started shitting on the Forum first.

PPS. You didn't explain the meaning of the joke; only your bogus reason for writing it. The joke's on you.

H.C.

Sorry. You at first seemed to be a worthy correspondent, but you take yourself way too seriously and have no sense of humor. Boring, ordinary, pedantic. Goodbye.

Greylorn

Run away! Run to church to hide under a cassock.