Am I sick?

[Bill Wiltrack]

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Am I sick?



I don't perceive anything, posted on the internet, as being erotic or pornographic.













...or am I cured?







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[The Voice of Time]

do you have to be either?

Personally I have to say, if you really mean that nothing on the whole wide web turns you on, then that would be a dysfunctionality in most people's experience because likely in extension it would mean you have general problems in getting turned on, but that, of course, is purely a matter of perspective and the later subject to test.

[Bill Wiltrack]

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I hear you saying that pornography turns you on.






......................................................................................



And if I see nothing as erotic or pornographic, on the internet, I may be dysfunctional...because I should be turned on by pornography.





You are saying that I very well may be sick because I do not see anything as erotic or pornographic on the internet.








.......................................................








...so...you are normal?






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[SpheresOfBalance]

Whom is to say? Each to their own. One mans medicine is another mans poison.

I have found that largely what you refer to is saturation. The more times you're exposed to something, the more used to it you become. You've seen it all before. Nothing is new under the sun.

Excitement comes from something forbidden, new, rare, unusual.

It would seem you're getting old Bill; join the club.

Unfortunately it's why my interests become a little more sparser with every passing day.

[The Voice of Time]

I mean Wiltrack that the purpose of pornography and the field of erotics is to find ways in which to turn people on. I'm saying that if there's not a single way in which to make you get associations that you find sexually exciting, and this includes all forms of media, from text, to images, to videos (which pretty sums up all that the web is made of, because the web is made out of text, images and videos), and then in all forms, from what is intended as pornography, to what accidently turns people on, to nudity, to no nudity but maybe a form of promise in the situation or beauty or... actually; ANYTHING, because people can get turned on in about infinitely many ways, it doesn't even have to be a person, it doesn't have to have explicit sexualizing content (although, believe it or not, nudity is not itself sexualizing content, it has to come with a meaning or promise of something more, something that makes it possible for us to interpret it as leading to a sex-situation), it could be the shopping page for diapers on Amazon or a movie poster for "Mulan 3" (Disney Movie) or the homepage of your local stables or... you figure.

Tell me, is there nothing, between slightly sterile, ordinary, unordinary, or crazy shit, that you find sexually exciting on the whole gazzillion pages of the web?

[reasonvemotion]

Interesting, VoT.

From what I can gather you are no stranger to hard core porn, etc........yet....

From what I can gather again, your most glorious experience sexually, was with a REAL woman in France.

Does that not tell you something.

and

Bill, one has to be careful with you, as you have your sly little ways of getting others to "indulge" in your sexual exploits, perhaps, like now?

Cos it's no fun on your own.

[The Voice of Time]

yes indeed RE, but I prefer calling it "intense", I have probably experienced more "glorious" moments by myself, but the woman was so intense it felt like dying, it was indescribably paralysing in a way, and she got complete control over me, no, I mean like literally, not me "wanting" to be controlled or anything, I couldn't move unless she touched me first, I was literally paralysed.

But I can get incredibly excited still by what I experience on the web, and the point is not what turns you on the most or anything, the point is could it... even the slightest... turn you on? Because that's when it becomes erotic, though maybe pornographic is reserved for another meaning, namely explicit eroticism, if it's possible to distinguish.

[Bill Wiltrack]

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The prostitute kissed me after she had paralyzed me with the most powerful orgasm I've ever had and the only one involving a physical other person. Please remember that she offered herself free of charge, or rather, she insisted, which is something of weirdest thing I've ever experienced, and makes you think what lies behind it. But it was awesome.

Did she think it was a symbol of love? Well, some women consider themselves almost a gift to men, throwing love here and there, really inflating it, but still it's a form of love (if you really want to point it out: call it sexual love), though we usually call these women whores if they "gift" people we like ourselves. They are the kind who just knows that you, as man, love her for doing what she is doing, and smiles as she behaves very inappropriate towards you. I think such women are capable of considering their acts not the acts of a whore, but as a gift of kindness coupled with their own personal satisfaction. Even in the light they may receive something out of it, they might not think about it as a trade, but maybe, and I'm purely guessing, they think about it as making somebody so grateful they are just dying to give her a gift back.

What happened to me was quickly entered and though not too quick it was of course just a blowjob on the side of the road, and that was it, and I never saw the person again. What made the person a prostitute was me asking whether the person was a prostitute, she said yes, I said I had no money (all this happened after she had approached me), and she said "no problem", and then hanky panky started.










I want to share with you a fantasy ending to a story I heard recently:



So I insisted we stop at a restaurant. The finest one along the way.

I wanted to to go out of my way to make her feel like a queen.

Looking at her across the table in the most beautiful restaurant we had ever been in. I made a point to look longingly into her eyes. I looked so hard my reality changed. Our reality changed. Like a veil that was magically lifted, I began to see beyond the creases of her weathered face and to actually feel the gentler curves of her portrait. I felt her being.

I wanted her to see me seeing her, drinking in her beauty that perhaps only I could ever see. It was a form of love.

We had a fabulous meal, wine & a beautiful dessert with coffee.

I wanted to paralyze her with the most powerful experience she ever had involving a mental relationship with another person.Did she think it was a symbol of love?

I smiled as I gave her a total respectful experience as a gift of kindness.

What happened to me was quickly entered and though not too quick it was of course just a dinner on the side of the road, and that was it, and I never saw the person again. What made the experience perfect was me asking whether she thought she was beautiful, she said, yes As I whipped-out my credit card she said, "I have no way to express how perfect this was." and I said, "no problem" and then, quite unexpectedly, a most beautiful feeling rushed over me.


It was awesome.




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[The Voice of Time]

where's the sex in that story? oh I'm just kidding I know perfectly well how to connect with people on the mental but sexually sterile level. I once fell in love with a girl because of her brain while I wasn't interested at all in her as a sexual object.

Doesn't change my point, though. Is there nothing on the web that provokes in you sexual excitement even at the slightest?

[Bill Wiltrack]

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I don't perceive anything, posted on the internet, as being erotic or pornographic.







I edited the post above to add the sex part.






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[The Voice of Time]

perceiving and feeling are two different things

[Bill Wiltrack]

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I don't perceive anything, posted on the internet, as being erotic or pornographic.








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[mickthinks]

Yes, I think you are probably sick, Bill. But I thought that long before you expressed this new thought.

[Bill Wiltrack]

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........................................................................Sick how though?






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[The Voice of Time]

so you are living in denial, is that why you will only go for perceiving but not feeling?