The End is Nigh
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:38 am
Well, I'm 44 years old. My parents are in their late 70s. My parents and I have always been very close. I lost my grandmother almost 10 years back. Of course she was suffering from alzeimers for many years so it was a slow loss, not so abrupt as the death of a close relative could be. Now I'm suffering from sleep apnea and my memory isn't all that great anymore. When I think of my own end being not too far off I really start to think of what was it all about? Life seems so incredibly short from my perspective right now. If we are simply a "flash in the pan" so to speak what difference does any of this really make. Maybe I'm just in a meloncholy mood right now. But inevitable death puts everything in an all new perspective for me.
I'm facing a life decision of continuing my philosophy education. It will be a big undertaking going back to school (albeit online classes). I sort of wonder to myself why I should even put forth the effort? I'm just going to die someday anyway. What's worse is I'll probably forget everything I learn within a few months anyway. What difference does it make how educated or uneducated I am? What difference does it make if I try to improve my life? There isn't that much more to go anyway. It seems like a wasted effort, all in vain. Yeah, more education will make me more "marketable". Is that what it's all about? Just doing what it takes to stay alive and prosperous a little longer. How depressing it all seems right now.
I'm facing a life decision of continuing my philosophy education. It will be a big undertaking going back to school (albeit online classes). I sort of wonder to myself why I should even put forth the effort? I'm just going to die someday anyway. What's worse is I'll probably forget everything I learn within a few months anyway. What difference does it make how educated or uneducated I am? What difference does it make if I try to improve my life? There isn't that much more to go anyway. It seems like a wasted effort, all in vain. Yeah, more education will make me more "marketable". Is that what it's all about? Just doing what it takes to stay alive and prosperous a little longer. How depressing it all seems right now.
