I cant find my true identity.
Posted: Wed May 01, 2019 5:33 pm
Hello everybody!
I have a big prob. I cant win in my life. I have problems to find my true identity. In my head are lead illnesses infront of my self, so that i feel myself mostly and strictly ill. So, im afraid to let go my personality, in the objection of focussing how the people would react on my mouth articulation. My mouth is the experssion of my illness, because i have a chromosomic defect and so i have to smile not like the normal people do. This fact, that my underlip is movin oblique and seems to show my pure illness. I almost think, that even I show my creepy underlip, people get crazy instead on the street and get fearful infront of myself when I smile. I normally love it to smile, but i dont do this exactly for other beings, because they cant understand why I smile like this. And even I smile to other people, they would call me "crazy" because my smile is so unauthentic.
My mainfearings is, that i have to remember violence in my life, because people, will get angry or aggressiv when they see myself. So i almost sit in my room, and dream about a live with the positiv smiling. For myself it makes no difference, further I am laughing or another one is laughing. Laughing means Laughing for me. So i normally use the laughing like everybody else. But infrnot of unknowing people i almost get fearful how they would react.
So i stay in my room as to go out for experiences. What makes me very cry.
Did you understand my problem?
Maybe you could help me to solve those problem what I feel inside of me.
Best greetings
From Germany
Dominik
I have a big prob. I cant win in my life. I have problems to find my true identity. In my head are lead illnesses infront of my self, so that i feel myself mostly and strictly ill. So, im afraid to let go my personality, in the objection of focussing how the people would react on my mouth articulation. My mouth is the experssion of my illness, because i have a chromosomic defect and so i have to smile not like the normal people do. This fact, that my underlip is movin oblique and seems to show my pure illness. I almost think, that even I show my creepy underlip, people get crazy instead on the street and get fearful infront of myself when I smile. I normally love it to smile, but i dont do this exactly for other beings, because they cant understand why I smile like this. And even I smile to other people, they would call me "crazy" because my smile is so unauthentic.
My mainfearings is, that i have to remember violence in my life, because people, will get angry or aggressiv when they see myself. So i almost sit in my room, and dream about a live with the positiv smiling. For myself it makes no difference, further I am laughing or another one is laughing. Laughing means Laughing for me. So i normally use the laughing like everybody else. But infrnot of unknowing people i almost get fearful how they would react.
So i stay in my room as to go out for experiences. What makes me very cry.
Did you understand my problem?
Maybe you could help me to solve those problem what I feel inside of me.
Best greetings
From Germany
Dominik