Philosophy Now Forum

Does the woman pick the man? Or does the man pick the woman? One may say that both pick each other at the same time to which I ask "How often does that happen?"

Does it matter who picks who, gender wise? Would that make it a controlling relationship from the start?

PhilX

Everyone can refuse being picked no matter how much the picker tries.

Sadly, there may be some desparate loners who wish to be picked by someone and express this message by their body language. They ask for mercy and sometimes get it.

Some people like to be flirtatious and give other people passes.

duszek wrote:Some people like to be flirtatious and give other people passes.

I've had more than my fair share of that in this area.

The question remains open.

PhilX

A suggestion:

The picking party is the one who expects some benefit from the relationship.

duszek wrote:A suggestion:

The picking party is the one who expects some benefit from the relationship.

So you're saying the relationship can't be altruistic.

PhilX

A friend of cats can pick a cat from an asylum because she wants to make one of them happy and thus make her own life more colourful and interesting.

Is is altruistic ?

I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.

Dalek Prime wrote:I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.

What would you do if someone picked you out of a phone book?

PhilX

Philosophy Explorer wrote:

Dalek Prime wrote:I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.

What would you do if someone picked you out of a phone book?

PhilX

Perhaps meet for coffee and casual sex. Then hide their phone book.

Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX

Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX

Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.

Dalek Prime wrote:

Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX

Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.

Which leads to another question: Do opposites attract?

PhilX

Philosophy Explorer wrote:

Dalek Prime wrote:

Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX

Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.

Which leads to another question: Do opposites attract?

PhilX

Only in physics. That's one or those commonly repeated phrases that pass as truth, but isn't a hard rule.

Everyone enjoys well-behaved admirers, both men and women.
Stalking is a perversion of course.

No sensible person would continue sending out passes and swallow dirty looks in return.
This would be a huge waste of life energy, and who has too much of it ?

So reasonable people signal positive feelings in a subtle way to someone who seems o.k. and the other party should react by contributing to keep the ball rolling or by discouraging in an honest (and apologetic) way.

One can be wrong, too. So it should be allowed to retreat in case of mistake.

Usually both parties make some choice to form a relationship. Sometimes one or both parties make bad choices and the relationship ends.