Fear of duty
Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:09 pm
I have been called an anarchist before by a psychiatrist. Most of you who know me here would probably don't think me as one as I frequently argue in ways that appear pro-government or pro-authority, and I don't think of myself as one either.
But parts of me are definitely anarchist, and seems to stem from a direct fear of duty. It's not a fear of commitment per se, because I can easily commit and stay committed even, but I'm very fearful of being trapped inside a boundary of duty where I cannot escape obligations to both myself and others.
How should I go about persuading myself that some duties are definitely good, while others are more okay to break with?
It's anxiety and a desire for freedom that makes me resist the act of performing the duty, this is particularly towards myself. When there's a duty towards another person (a duty that I recognize, not just something others claim) I have a real incentive, but when there's a duty towards myself I seem often not to be able to care too much, at least not in the way I want to. I want to just be able to pursue my goal without either repressing myself nor running from the duty. A duty that doesn't "feel" like a duty, but something I can just aim towards because my want my desire are aligned... any ideas?
But parts of me are definitely anarchist, and seems to stem from a direct fear of duty. It's not a fear of commitment per se, because I can easily commit and stay committed even, but I'm very fearful of being trapped inside a boundary of duty where I cannot escape obligations to both myself and others.
How should I go about persuading myself that some duties are definitely good, while others are more okay to break with?
It's anxiety and a desire for freedom that makes me resist the act of performing the duty, this is particularly towards myself. When there's a duty towards another person (a duty that I recognize, not just something others claim) I have a real incentive, but when there's a duty towards myself I seem often not to be able to care too much, at least not in the way I want to. I want to just be able to pursue my goal without either repressing myself nor running from the duty. A duty that doesn't "feel" like a duty, but something I can just aim towards because my want my desire are aligned... any ideas?