Philosophy Now Forum

I'm think that I'm ready to die, and everything I do is just to kill time until my end. I can relate to losing interest in everything. Am I depressed? No, I don't think I am. Am I suicidal? I don't think so. Things just seem to offer mild amusement to me these days. I admit, I'm not very driven to pursue my dreams or ambitions these days. In some ways I think I'm broken down by the world and reality. Broken down to the point where I can't try to change the world for what I think is better.

On and off in my life I wore a mask to fit into this world. Sometimes we forget who we are and our dreams when wearing those masks. Sometimes there is no room in our society for certain ambitions, and we are expected to fit into certain niches and roles. So we give up on changing the world or having an impact on the future. Some of us put it on the back burner of our head and can often lose our minds trying so hard to help change the world to what we believe is better.

I hate to say it, but we are not all born equally. Some of us are smarter, more gifted, or just brought up with more resources than others. Some of us have to work harder and longer to achieve things, if we can at all. Some of us lose ambition and drive in the journey of life because we get mentally and/or physically tired. Some of us are not born with the mental capacity to easily understand our thoughts and how to express them. So it takes more time for us to convey and learn from our thoughts. We should not give up on them I believe, but sometimes if can feel as if I am going insane. Insane in a world where I feel I know the truth and point of life, yet I must live the journey to the end.

I don't believe in hell or punishment for being who we are in life. There are so many factors in life that mold and shape our actions and who we are. I find it hard to believe that there is a god out there who would punish us for being what we are. I believe in ultimate forgiveness. I don't believe in worship. I don't believe an omni-potent and all good deity requires or demands our fear and love.

People tend to expect rewards for being good and/or following the rules. Such as people who expect their drives, desires, and needs to be met in an afterlife. Me? All I want is nothing.

I believe that as long as we exist, we suffer and/or cause suffering to others indirectly and directly. If we love one person or are in a relationship with somebody, we often deprive another of that person's love and time. If we eat, we need to destroy or kill other life forms in order to do so. While one or more person succeeds, others fail.

What is heaven? In my ways heaven is a place with no drive, desire or need for the many things, such as hunger and lust. Maybe my version of heaven is oblivion or nothing less. Not existing is one way to achieve my version of heaven. Maybe god doesn’t exist for a reason. Maybe god doesn’t exist to be an example, the ultimate sacrifice to achieve a state of selflessness and emptiness. Perhaps one can find comfort in death this way, thinking that we sacrifice our afterlife so that we are not bound by desires and the like.

Maybe heaven is a state of existence where we can still exist without causing suffering and pain. We some how transcend desires, drives, and needs. I just hope one does not suffer from boredom in that state of existence.

I believe that if there is truly a god, then god is beyond mortal representations. I pray for death in hope that the reality and truths will be revealed to me, even if that reality is nothing. Perhaps some things are beyond a mortal's mental and physical faculties. A nut seems almost impossible to break until you are given a nut cracker eh, or some tool? Then again there are exceptions, like the people who invent the tool. But are some tools to much for us to comprehend?

I got this riddle from a book called "Demon". "Can god create an object so heavy that he, her, or what can't lift it and still be omni-potent?"

Contradictions and such exist in our mortal languages because our representations are flawed and mortal? We are unable to correctly represent some things. In some ways, we represent things on how they behave instead of what they truly are. We define things without truly knowing what they are or how they work. This applies to some things. My father taught me this, but I still cannot fully understand what he meant. I think I'm done rambling for the moment.

In some ways, we represent things on how they behave instead of what they truly are. We define things without truly knowing what they are or how they work.

What's the alternative? Not to make up a word, a meaning, or definition for anything until and unless we understand everything about its innermost absoluteness?
Then we would never communicate.

The original purpose of communication was to serve, not philosophy, but survival.

In the primitive sentence "Bear run you-ward.", the important matter is the behaviour of an identified entity, not the essence of bearhood, not the chemistry of muscle cells, not the concept of relative motion.

In life, the important matter may be mundane, yet still worth having and doing. Like: I am about to get a cold vegetable juice, a slice of cheddar and box of crackers, sit on my front deck under the big cedar, and have lunch, in the company of two elderly cats and the humming bird who frequents my feeder. I have every expectation of enjoying it and not yet wanting to be dead.

Here are some other things I have jumbling around in my head if anyone cares to take a look.

Perhaps after each life we are given the choice to live another life of insight and learning or to simply just not exist. I believe everything happens for a reason, whether it be pain or pleasure. We have free will so we can make choices based upon the insight gained from our lives. Maybe upon death we are granted the knowledge and insight from all of our lives so that we can make a choice based on what we have learned. All that knowledge insight might be to much for us to handle in one life time or something like that. We are given free will to make these choices.

Maybe we all are one spread across time, space, and existence. At one point we were and/or will be whole. All of our experiences and interpretations of life and death will be combined to create one mass of enlightened existence. This includes plants, animals, basically everything becoming one. The end marks the beginning. The big bang theory, maybe everything was one at one point, then something happened to create the fractured existence we now live in?

I tend to repeat or rephrase things, and for that I am sorry. I'm still trying in my head to figure out a way to convey these effectively.

I'm think that I'm ready to die, and everything I do is just to kill time until my end

You will get your wish as death comes only too soon to all of us.

In the meantime be in this world, but not of it and happiness you will know.

Not everything has a happy ending. I believe we need to experience the good and the bad to become "enlightened". Everything happens for a reason. Maybe in another life you will be more fortunate. But then again, maybe you are already fortunate to experience the pains and misery and learn something from them. Just remember, things can be a lot worse. Sometimes it is best to appreciate things.

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I just read this thread for the first time now.



Appreciate you rejuvenating it.




I love your writing.


I think you are articulate and dead nuts on.




You are a true philosopher.


I can tell you have read, paid the price, and because of that, you are able to enjoy the fruits of the philosophical concepts you have been exposed to.





Well done & welcome to the forum.




Thanks for opening up...