Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
Why do I feel hopeless?
I feel as if i have a plan like anyone else, i have objectives. Though i get so far and it doesn't necessarily get harder but remind me that-What does this amount to in the end? This life i live, for my future kids? For a nice retirement? What does any of this mean?
I pray to god im doing everything right, but i feel like sober from something ive never had. And i dont know how to get better. Ive never been depressed really but i cant seem to get over as if i have this pit within me that cant be filled.
I dont know if its because ive never been in a relationship and the lack of human love one gets from that is causing my instinct human traits to wither within and crave what one is supposed to have to...idk complete life?
We are interactive creatures, were meant to care, to share, to hurt, to crave and to love.
What do you mean by, 'we are meant to hurt and to crave', EXACTLY? And,
Where did this BELIEF of yours here come from, EXACTLY?
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
but i see so many times the lack of human existence within so many people and in those times i only see savages, lost within a world they've created, one of pure hell. One of hate, anger, rage. One of pure agony.
This is 'the world' that you are living in and expressing here, right? The 'one' that you still have NOT YET FOUND the 'meaning for', correct?
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
I hate the wicked of this world.
Has it NEVER occurred to you that SEEING the "other" as the so-called 'wicked one' is WICKED in and of itself?
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
The only times i feel strong enough to complete is when im loathing this world.
Well here is ANOTHER GREAT EXAMPLE of TWISTED and DISTORTED thinking.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
When im craving the pain and suffering from everyone around me. From my enemies, and from the ones i love most. That part scares me the most. I have this thought that everyone is made exactly the way they are for some reason therefor everyone's purpose is different therefore we dont act the same...Though, i cant seem do matter how many ways i deduct my own life for the urges i have to be made in anyway good for me,
i hate the wicked as i said before,
YET it is 'you' who is thinking and behaving in the MOST WICKED way here.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
am i meant to use these cravings for pain upon those who deserve it?
Thinking ANY one 'deserves' pain, is a Truly WICKED way of thinking and SEEING.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
Am i one of gods embodiments of hatred?
The HATRED of fellow human beings is WICKED, in and of itself, full stop.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
Is the soul purpose for my existence to damage the will of the wicked to crumble amongst those who carry it?
But that kind of thinking, and doing, is 'of the WICKED', "themselves".
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
I keep pushing on, the Marine Corps taught me how to will further than i usually did, and i am convincing myself that...by my 30th birthday,
if things of this world have not changed then im laying down everything down before god, im giving it all to him, and my only mission will to be the nightmare that keeps those who do evil to others the killers, the rapists, the psychos and the sadist, i give you my word you will come to know me well.
Here is a PRIME example of WHY absolutely NO one should join the 'marines', NOR ANY other so-called 'defence force'.
With the absolute RUBBISH and DELUSION they TEACH and INSTILL there is NO wonder WHY there is SO MUCH ILL, WICKEDNESS, and Wrong in 'the world'.
This one ACTUALLY BELIEVES that when 'it' KILLS "others" then this is a GOOD and a RIGHT thing. Which, OBVIOUSLY, SHOWS and PROVES just how DISTORTED and DISILLUSIONED this human being IS, EXACTLY.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
I dont have as many guns, but a knife will do just fine. The Punisher is a movie, and i didnt have a family stripped from me either, but the way i feel towards others make me feel like they are. I will die by the knife, i will not leave this life in complacency. I will earn my redemption from my own mind.
What you ACTUALLY NEED is HELP, BEFORE you go and HURT and HARM "others".
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
As much i understand others,
MORE absolute DISTORTED and DISILLUSIONED thinking or BELIEVING.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
i cant seem to wrap my head around my own.
This is VERY CLEAR.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
Therefore i can only guess i have to do what i can tmost assume is the right thing to do.
If I was you I would seek out HELP, BEFORE I started GUESSING absolutely ANY thing here. That way I would NOT end up HURTING NOR HARMING "others".
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
I just pray im not wrong.
Let me INFORM you now that you are Wrong, VERY, VERY Wrong.
Toppsy Kretts wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:43 am
I pray im okay in the end. I pray that eventually i am worthy.
WHY? What are you GUESSING and EXPECTING will happen 'in the end'?
What are you IMAGINING you will eventually be 'worthy' to, and what for, in the so-called 'end'?