The Church of No One Truth (NOT): A Cautionary Tale
A Play of Three Acts of Three Scenes Each
<< Act one, scene one | Act one, scene three >>
Act one, scene two
Characters:
Can Man: because Immanuel Can, so Can Man.
Bjorn aGus
Setting:
Outside the Church of No One Truth (NOT)
Can Man: Desist! The time is near!
Bjorn aGus: Yes, that's what it says on your billboard. No need to repeat it.
Can Man: You will burn for your illogic. I will repeat it as many times as necessary for you to get it.
Bjorn aGus: I have resolved the illogic, as instructed by my Pastor. I am on my way to inform her of my solution.
Can Man: Impossible!
Bjorn aGus: Nope. Very possible.
Can Man: Go on then. Prove it.
Bjorn aGus: It's simple. My Pastor's hint was all I needed: don't add; subtract.
Can Man: Go on...
Bjorn aGus: You know that our Church's Commandment as stated is: "Thou shalt have no One Truth before thee but the One Truth that there is no One Truth." Now, it SEEMS self-contradictory, but that's only because too much has been ADDED to it. If we SUBTRACT as much as we can, we discern the correct wording as, simply: "There is no One Truth".
Can Man: Alas. That is mere obscurantism. That which you have removed is anyway implied in that statement.
Bjorn aGus: Nope. See, your problem is that you're so addicted to logic that you've never even tried to solve a koan. There is no One Truth, and
that affirmation cannot be One Truth itself because, as it affirms, there is no such thing in the first place.
Can Man: I am truly sorry to inform you, but substituting "affirmation" for "One Truth" doesn't fool anybody. You're simply playing semantic games.
Bjorn aGus: Not so. The idea of "One Truth" is a human construct. It is one which our Church DEconstructs.
Can Man: Oh dear. Deconstruction is so... twentieth century. Look, the existence of One Truth cannot be avoided. And it's high time you realised what it is. (
Pointing to his billboard.)
Bjorn aGus: Sorry, but I prefer
the Christianity you have when you're not having Christianity.
Can Man: Good luck with that. I had higher hopes for you. It seems I've been wasting my time here.
Bjorn aGus: Not necessarily. You have been preaching to all of the other parishioners.
Can Man: There are none.
Bjorn aGus: Wait, what? I'm the only member of this Church?
Can Man: 'Fraid so. Other than its Pastor.
Bjorn aGus: Right. It is time for a recruitment drive then.
Can Man: Who else do you think might join? Quirky? Wotter? Aeon? Not likely. Ring o' Linda? Maybe. But your Pastor would have better luck there.
Bjorn aGus: I guess you're right, Can Man. Hmm. In that case, can I let you in on a little secret? (
Draws in close)
Can Man: Umm, OK. What's on your mind?
Bjorn aGus: I've never really been able to believe in our Church anyway. All along I was hoping there'd be something SOLID and CONCRETE. But my hopes have been dashed. Our Pastor wants to leave it all up to us.
Can Man: Now you see it, parishioner Bjorn aGus...
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