Philosophy Now Forum

thedoc wrote:Many years ago I read a book, (I've actually read lots of books), 'The Hidden Dimention', the author explored the idea that different cultures and individuals had different 'Comfort Zones' around their physical bodies, and would be uncomfortable if someone got too close. I have felt that discomfort with people I do not know well, but have less problem with people I know well. In the book it described an encounter of two people with different dimentions and the one would try to get up close and the other was constantly backing away to maintain his own comfort zone, the dance was described as amusing to an observer. There are possibly many factors other than distance that determine a comfort zone for any one individual. I reciently encountered a little girl (with her mother) who was very shy with men and was hiding from me, but was less shy around women, according to her mother. A lot depends on the individual, their cultural background, and past experience.

It is not unusual to see two grown men holding hands in Egypt.
Arabs generally have a close personal space, and in diplomatic conferences you can often find British officials pinned to the wall and they subtly move backwards and Arabs unconsciously move forwards.

Chaz

I've noticed that as well among Arab males. In the West physical contact is often discomforting to individuals, whereas Arabs treat it as natural, it includes the "sphere of comfort" as well as direct contact as touching hand, touching around the head (which in the west is too often interpreted as carrying some form of sexual meaning, because the head is very sensitive in many places), and then touching around chest-height. Other places can also be easily touchable if you have some form of acceptable reason, whereas some westerners would find these places unacceptable because they are those places, whereas my experience of the Arab is a vice versa situation where they reason based on "why" you do it.

Those couple of last sentences there are totally taken out my opinion though, but I think especially with situations like the doctor performing checks or operations on private areas. I think it comes from the lack of exposure to the thought that strangers are in possible sexual relations to yourself, as Islamic countries usually discourages or punishes public showing of affection, playing with ideas of sex (in public) or sexual gaiety. The privatization of sex changes the way one thinks about the matter, what is "thinkable" and what is not.

The Voice of Time wrote:Chaz

I've noticed that as well among Arab males. In the West physical contact is often discomforting to individuals, whereas Arabs treat it as natural, it includes the "sphere of comfort" as well as direct contact as touching hand, touching around the head (which in the west is too often interpreted as carrying some form of sexual meaning, because the head is very sensitive in many places), and then touching around chest-height. Other places can also be easily touchable if you have some form of acceptable reason, whereas some westerners would find these places unacceptable because they are those places, whereas my experience of the Arab is a vice versa situation where they reason based on "why" you do it.

Those couple of last sentences there are totally taken out my opinion though, but I think especially with situations like the doctor performing checks or operations on private areas. I think it comes from the lack of exposure to the thought that strangers are in possible sexual relations to yourself, as Islamic countries usually discourages or punishes public showing of affection, playing with ideas of sex (in public) or sexual gaiety. The privatization of sex changes the way one thinks about the matter, what is "thinkable" and what is not.

I think as sex is treated (almost universally) as a private matter, any touching out of the ordinary is apt to be taken sexually. But as you say - with a doctor's examination - no touch can be objectively sexual without understanding the context and intent.
It's interesting that some body-language that we might take as perfectly natural and obvious can be completely culturally specific. For example the cupped hand under on the cheek, is widely held in Arabic culture as a plea for freedom or mercy, given from a captive to a captor. Then, there is the Indian shaking of the head to indicate "yes", where it is 'no" in Europe except Greece where the nod is 'no', and the rest of Europe the nod is 'yes.

In cultures where

No, but i did have irrational courages. Like i used to get all excited when lightening storms started and would run outside like a imbecile and my folks would be like 'come back here what are u doing?!' And I used to walk across frozen lakes thinking if it started cracking, i could outrun the crack and make it to safety. Never had one crack on me tho (thank goodness). Tornadoes. I've witnessed two in my life and both times i tried to get closer to em. Pismo beach california. Me and my homeboy start swimin toward the seals out in the water so... what... the sharks eat us instead? Oh that's brilliant u fuckin idiots. Appalachian mountains. I'm free climbing these yuge boulders without having any clue what's on the other side or where I'm goin. I end up getting trapped and it takes me an hour to climb back down. Going up is easy, man. Coming down is a bitch. In the sixth grade I aksed my English teacher Ms. Heartbauer if she'd have sex with me. She declined.

promethean75 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 02, 2024 6:22 pm No, but i did have irrational courages. Like i used to get all excited when lightening storms started and would run outside like a imbecile and my folks would be like 'come back here what are u doing?!' And I used to walk across frozen lakes thinking if it started cracking, i could outrun the crack and make it to safety. Never had one crack on me tho (thank goodness). Tornadoes. I've witnessed two in my life and both times i tried to get closer to em. Pismo beach california. Me and my homeboy start swimin toward the seals out in the water so... what... the sharks eat us instead? Oh that's brilliant u fuckin idiots. Appalachian mountains. I'm free climbing these yuge boulders without having any clue what's on the other side or where I'm goin. I end up getting trapped and it takes me an hour to climb back down. Going up is easy, man. Coming down is a bitch. In the sixth grade I aksed my English teacher Ms. Heartbauer if she'd have sex with me. She declined.

I knew and hung out with a guy who sounds like you. How'd it work out in the end?

Pretty good so far. I've made some bad/risky decisions in my life but always pulled through. When i was a kid people would always say 'that fuckin prom... u know he ain't gonna die. No-nohhh-nooo-ohh... u know he ain't gonna di-iieee-iieeee

My older brother, although he’s gone now and can no longer hang me from a basketball hoop while stuffed inside a duffel bag.

Ever since about the age of 10, I feel I need to lift my feet up when someone walks past on the pavement in view of the front window. It's as if there is an invisible elastic band from them that tangles to my feet, and when I lift my feet slightly off of the ground it's removed! (if I don't I feel like I may end up with their character traits, so I especially do it when I see scumbags walk past) lol. Cars are ok, because they have wheels so the elastic band disappears once the wheel turns.
AND THAT IS THE ONLY CRAZY THING ABOUT ATTO.

promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Jan 05, 2024 9:07 pm Pretty good so far. I've made some bad/risky decisions in my life but always pulled through. When i was a kid people would always say 'that fuckin prom... u know he ain't gonna die. No-nohhh-nooo-ohh... u know he ain't gonna di-iieee-iieeee

Pulled through as in "won big by beating the odds" or "avoided disaster despite taking on that risk"?

promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Jan 05, 2024 9:07 pm Pretty good so far. I've made some bad/risky decisions in my life but always pulled through. When i was a kid people would always say 'that fuckin prom... u know he ain't gonna die. No-nohhh-nooo-ohh... u know he ain't gonna di-iieee-iieeee

I've always played it safe in life. I've lived within the safety of my parents' home the entire time. The only bad thing about it is the stigma that comes with it. On the bright side, I've stayed out of trouble, never even tried illegal drugs, and managed not to spread any of my genetics through procreation. This world isn't for the faint of heart and I'm pretty faint of heart. I'll let the Khans and Atillas of the world have at it. They can keep the "spoils" in this dumpster for all I care. All I ask in return for leaving them the world is to leave me alone while I'm in it. I want nothing to do with them.

No irrational fears, just rational ones for me--like fear of death, fear of climate change, fear of nuclear war, fear of a pandemic, fear of AI gone rogue, fear of meteors and asteroids, stuff like that.

Come to think of it, though, when I was a child I did also have fears of evil monsters lurking outside my window at night. I suppose that's irrational. Now I'm agnostic regarding evil monsters lurking outside my window.