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Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:20 am
by Jaded Sage
Acceptance can be an integral part. This could also be either a talent or a skill.
I suppose it is good to know the stages:
• denial
• anger
• bartering
• depression
• acceptance
Some of us skip stages naturally.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:25 am
by Skip
I know I do!
I go straight from anger to depression; nobody to barter with.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:25 am
by Dalek Prime
Jaded Sage wrote:Acceptance can be an integral part. This could also be either a talent or a skill.
I suppose it is good to know the stages:
• denial
• anger
• bartering
• depression
• acceptance
Some of us skip stages naturally.
We don't skip stages naturally. We learn the stages, and deal with them a bit better. But we still go through them.
Those who don't accept, will never be content. No skill there. It just is.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:36 am
by Obvious Leo
Jaded Sage wrote:I wonder if contentment is a talent or a skill. It it a skill if it is acquired. It is a talent if it is unacquired.
A good point and a valid qualification but I think it might be a bit of both. Some people are just more naturally easy-going and this seems to become more pronounced as we get older. I'm quite certain that anybody who knows me would describe me as somebody who rarely gets uptight and I'm pretty sure I've always been that way. In fact when my eldest son was still living at home he was fond of saying that if I was any more laid-back I'd be in a coma. I took it as a compliment, but then again compliments for fathers from adolescent sons are rare treasures and we take whatever we can get.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:45 am
by Jaded Sage
Dalek Prime wrote:Jaded Sage wrote:Acceptance can be an integral part. This could also be either a talent or a skill.
I suppose it is good to know the stages:
• denial
• anger
• bartering
• depression
• acceptance
Some of us skip stages naturally.
We don't skip stages naturally. We learn the stages, and deal with them a bit better. But we still go through them.
Those who don't accept, will never be content. No skill there. It just is.
I skip stages naturally. Also, sometimes there is nothing to accept.
It is unclear whether these things help us acquire the capacity to accept or help us inhance our unacquired capacity to accept.
I can tell you this: it is healthier to focus the mind on things like this than on some of the other things we focus on in our culture, and on here. I see nitpicking. It's unhealthy.
I think I might start ignoring all posts like this. It's difficult to tell sometimes though when someone is generally trying, and I wouldn't want to leave them out in the cold. The reasoning is off, and it needs to be fixed.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:48 am
by Bill Wiltrack
.
The statement - We have everything, but we are still unhappy - infers a possession...an intellectual possession of some type.
We have - I know when it comes to the intellectual function we frame ourselves off. We estrange ourselves from reality. We can have one thing at the expense of another. We can choose black & must give-up white; Choose down at the expense of choosing up. And so forth.
Therefore we are always wanting. Always trapped in the eventual jaws of unhappiness. ALWAYS.
...unless...unless we slowly work ourselves OUT of being centered in our intellectual function. IF we are able to move towards becoming more of a being of pure consciousness. NOT centered in intellectual perceptions
JMHO.
.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:51 am
by Dalek Prime
Jaded Sage wrote:Dalek Prime wrote:Jaded Sage wrote:Acceptance can be an integral part. This could also be either a talent or a skill.
I suppose it is good to know the stages:
• denial
• anger
• bartering
• depression
• acceptance
Some of us skip stages naturally.
We don't skip stages naturally. We learn the stages, and deal with them a bit better. But we still go through them.
Those who don't accept, will never be content. No skill there. It just is.
I skip stages naturally. Also, sometimes there is nothing to accept.
It is unclear whether these things help us acquire the capacity to accept or help us inhance our unacquired capacity to accept.
I can tell you this: it is healthier to focus the mind on things like this than on some of the other things we focus on in our culture, and on here. I see nitpicking. It's unhealthy.
I think I might start ignoring all posts like this. It's difficult to tell sometimes though when someone is generally trying, and I wouldn't want to leave them out in the cold. The reasoning is off, and it needs to be fixed.
Hey, if you don't want to hear what I say, fine. Block me. But if you think I need fixing, take your ego and fuck off. Buddhism is incomplete antinatalism. That's all it is. Buddhism is a big load of horseshit, rediscovered by Westerners, and practised by idiot hipsters, because it's cool and in. You're not leading anything. You're just following.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:59 am
by Jaded Sage
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 4:07 am
by Dalek Prime
What? You don't have the backbone to keep your posts up, JS?
Don't tell me, let me guess. You crunch granola, recycle, meditate and do yoga. And now, you're above it all. Your shit no longer stinks. How am I doing?
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 6:26 pm
by Risto
I assume this is a statistic compiled from many statistics, rather than a direct observation of individuals. Because, the day after someone's told that they have a cancer with only 15% survival rate, even after a prolonged and distinctly unpleasant course of treatments, a lot more than 10% of his unhappiness is circumstantial, even if he comes from a long line of Pollyannas.
Actually, there's research that shows that people's subjective happiness returns to normal after a really bad circumstantial event (such as becoming paraplegic) as well as after a really good circumstantial event (such as winning a lottery). So circumstances affect subjective happiness a lot less than we'd imagine. But with regard to the methods of psychology research, yes, they're very often focused on correlations, not causation per se. A limitation of pretty much all psychology research.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:25 pm
by Obvious Leo
I think this unhealthy obsession with the pursuit of happiness is probably just an American thing because the right to such a pursuit has been constitutionally guaranteed. I see little evidence that such superficial life goals are of much consequence in more advanced cultures.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 9:32 pm
by Skip
Obvious Leo wrote:I think this unhealthy obsession with the pursuit of happiness is probably just an American thing because the right to such a pursuit has been constitutionally guaranteed. I see little evidence that such superficial life goals are of much consequence in more advanced cultures.
Of course, the meaning of 'pursuit' has changed since the constitution was written. It's become a good deal more aggressive and frantic since commercial interests are relentlessly pushing discontent and self-contempt on Americans. The pop-psych, self-help industry has done far more harm than good, as well. Over the last half century, Americans have been convinced that they must not only
be happy, but be
seen to be happy -
all the time. Or else. Or else, you're maladjusted, depressed, a gloomy Gus. You'll be nagged, advised, pep-talked, up-cheered, cajoled, counselled, prayed-for and medicated; someone will always be "here for you" - no matter how you might crave solitude to mull stuff over or brood on things.
I think everyone wants to be happy, but perhaps each culture has a different notion of what happiness looks like and how it's attained.
Re: We have everything, but we are still unhappy
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:29 pm
by Obvious Leo
Skip wrote:It's become a good deal more aggressive and frantic since commercial interests are relentlessly pushing discontent and self-contempt on Americans.
This trend is not unique to America although it is far more prevalent there. Nowadays it is assumed that all our problems can be fixed simply by purchasing the right remedy. I discovered that it's a lot cheaper to simply make my problems go away by taking to my fuchsias with my secateurs, which is today's designated garden task. A walk in the bush works wonders as well, although I'll freely acknowledge that such an option is not available to everybody. However the point you make is a very good one, skip.
Skip wrote:You'll be nagged, advised, pep-talked, up-cheered, cajoled, counselled, prayed-for and medicated; someone will always be "here for you" - no matter how you might crave solitude to mull stuff over or brood on things.
Happiness is when everybody just pisses off and leaves you alone.