Philosophy Now Forum

Hobbes' Choice wrote:At times desolate and hopeless.

I can't even imagine. As I said, you have my respect (and sympathies, if that's not too trite).

I personally don't think the medications help me, others they might help though. I can't tell, I'm not them. Clozaril seemed to take all the life out of me and turned me into a zombie. Welbutrin seems to help a little with my energy and mood though I must say.

Osric wrote:I personally don't think the medications help me, others they might help though. I can't tell, I'm not them. Clozaril seemed to take all the life out of me and turned me into a zombie. Welbutrin seems to help a little with my energy and mood though I must say.

OK, I can understand your anger toward the medical profession that can't seem to help you, but unless you can demonstrate that they don't care about your welfare, I would say that anger is unfounded. Especially if they are sincerely doing what they can for you.

My question now is, is any of this anger directed toward God, and why?

thedoc wrote:

Osric wrote:I personally don't think the medications help me, others they might help though. I can't tell, I'm not them. Clozaril seemed to take all the life out of me and turned me into a zombie. Welbutrin seems to help a little with my energy and mood though I must say.

OK, I can understand your anger toward the medical profession that can't seem to help you, but unless you can demonstrate that they don't care about your welfare, I would say that anger is unfounded. Especially if they are sincerely doing what they can for you.

My question now is, is any of this anger directed toward God, and why?

A meaningless question unless he believes there is a god.
If that is the case, why the fuck do you ask why?

Hobbes' Choice wrote:

thedoc wrote:

Osric wrote:I personally don't think the medications help me, others they might help though. I can't tell, I'm not them. Clozaril seemed to take all the life out of me and turned me into a zombie. Welbutrin seems to help a little with my energy and mood though I must say.

OK, I can understand your anger toward the medical profession that can't seem to help you, but unless you can demonstrate that they don't care about your welfare, I would say that anger is unfounded. Especially if they are sincerely doing what they can for you.

My question now is, is any of this anger directed toward God, and why?

A meaningless question unless he believes there is a god.
If that is the case, why the fuck do you ask why?

I believe Osric is able to answer that question, even though you are not.

thedoc responded to Hobbes:

I believe Osric is able to answer that question, even though you are not.

Indeed. I agree. For Osric posted the thread, so I have no doubt he had something specific in mind. I'd be interested in hearing what was troubling him, and how he's understanding his situation.

So give the man a chance, Hobbes.

I'm angry at god for my existance. Almost every day I struggle with homocidal thoughts and other unusual thoughts I won't go into for my own sake. It takes all my willpower to keep myself from going berserk at those around me. I do a good job at wearing a mask and keeping up the good guy charade, but I'm tormented by my possible past and all the horrible things that have happened to me. God must surely hate me for making me suffer so much, when all I want is the void, nothingless. I have to go to bed now, I will continue this tomorrow.

Immanuel Can wrote:thedoc responded to Hobbes:

I believe Osric is able to answer that question, even though you are not.

Indeed. I agree. For Osric posted the thread, so I have no doubt he had something specific in mind. I'd be interested in hearing what was troubling him, and how he's understanding his situation.

So give the man a chance, Hobbes.

I did.
The answer is clear enough. If god is the creator then he is responsible for the plight of Ozric. That is why asking "why" is ridiculous.

Osric wrote:I'm angry at god for my existance. Almost every day I struggle with homocidal thoughts and other unusual thoughts I won't go into for my own sake. It takes all my willpower to keep myself from going berserk at those around me. I do a good job at wearing a mask and keeping up the good guy charade, but I'm tormented by my possible past and all the horrible things that have happened to me. God must surely hate me for making me suffer so much, when all I want is the void, nothingless. I have to go to bed now, I will continue this tomorrow.

My advice is to stop blaming forces beyond your control.
Simply enough: there is no God to blame.
If there is a solution to your problems, the start of your journey to find those solutions is to own your problems.
Christian ideology is all about shame and blame.
But for most problems there is no shame to having mental torment, and no one to blame - not EVEN yourself. But solutions can only be addressed if you take hold and understand your problems in terms of your life-experience.
Having a dialogue with your suffering in terms of divine or external forces having it in for you, is not a recipe for success and improvement.
No one is in control of the Universe. You have to find your own path in it, and make the best of what you can.

Hobbes' Choice wrote:

duszek wrote:What made you think that I was judging you ?
Can you quote my "judgement" and tell me how you interpreted it ?

What do you not understand about "
"Could it be you who sings a song about being born sick ?"

It was just a question. What you said reminded me strongly of the message of this very emotional and bitter song.
I do not judge the singer of this song either, he is an Irishman I suppose, I googled him once. He probably experienced hardships in his life.

It´s good to talk about wrongs that you have experienced. It can help.

Esprimersi significa guarire. (Pasolini)

duszek wrote:

Hobbes' Choice wrote:

duszek wrote:What made you think that I was judging you ?
Can you quote my "judgement" and tell me how you interpreted it ?

What do you not understand about "
"Could it be you who sings a song about being born sick ?"

It was just a question. What you said reminded me strongly of the message of this very emotional and bitter song.
I do not judge the singer of this song either, he is an Irishman I suppose, I googled him once. He probably experienced hardships in his life.

It´s good to talk about wrongs that you have experienced. It can help.

Esprimersi significa guarire. (Pasolini)

No idea where you are with this.

I only wish to avoid misunderstandings and to learn how to do better next time.

I should have written:

Oh, you think that some people are destined for hell.
This reminds me of a pop song which says ....

I am sorry for the inconvenience.

Osric wrote:I'm angry at god for my existance. Almost every day I struggle with homocidal thoughts and other unusual thoughts I won't go into for my own sake. It takes all my willpower to keep myself from going berserk at those around me.

This may not be the place to ask you this, but do you sense you have a cause, or is this the result of sort of chemical feelings that may not have to do with particular causes?

It makes a difference, of course.

I do a good job at wearing a mask and keeping up the good guy charade, but I'm tormented by my possible past and all the horrible things that have happened to me.

That's got to be tough. The past can eat at us. On the other hand, the past is...well, past, isn't it? We can't do much with it.

I remember hearing a professional counselor who was speaking about his practice. He said, "The hardest thing to do in counselling is to help people give up the hope of having a better past." If we can grasp the irony there, we can see he was onto something, I think.

God must surely hate me for making me suffer so much.

In this world, one thing we learn for sure: there isn't a straight connection between our circumstances and our moral standing. Good people hurt, and bad people sometimes have easy lives. And sometimes not. But there's no automatic way of reading circumstances. Results are radical.

I think there are reasons for that. But if it's any consolation, it means you may not at all be under any Divine displeasure, despite how it may feel sometimes. However, I sense your sadness -- no one could really miss it -- and I'm sorry it feels that way.

But can´t you see your past in a more positive way ?
NLP-practitioners probably do it in a skillful way.

Some people write their autobiographies in order to make their past look better to themselves, I suppose.

Osric wrote:I'm angry at god for my existance. Almost every day I struggle with homocidal thoughts and other unusual thoughts I won't go into for my own sake. It takes all my willpower to keep myself from going berserk at those around me. I do a good job at wearing a mask and keeping up the good guy charade, but I'm tormented by my possible past and all the horrible things that have happened to me. God must surely hate me for making me suffer so much, when all I want is the void, nothingless. I have to go to bed now, I will continue this tomorrow.

I know the thread is about your anger towards God, but on a more practical level, have you seem a doctor? Are you on medication? etc. (And I ask these questions with the full awareness that I haven't the slightest idea where one would start on this. I assume you do, however.)