Philosophy Now Forum

Documentaries like this are being made all the time. And, really, nothing much changes at all. So, what does that tell you about “the system”?

That perhaps it's deeper than you thought?

Ken Lay, Jeff Skilling, Andrew Fastow, Arthur Anderson, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney. You tell me: In this tale, where does one end and the others begin? Crony Capitalism.

And just on the horizon: Lehman Brothers, the subprime mortgage crisis and the near collapse of the global economy. And still nothing changes.

Enron was a house of cards. It took them 16 years to become the 7th largest corporation in America…and 24 days to go bankrupt. It embodied a gigantic scandal that [like Bernie Madoff et al] could only have a unfolded in a privileged world where those on the inside pull the strings. Or the most important ones. And without government knowledge – acts of omission, acts of commission – this sort of thing is almost impossible to pull off. Smoke and mirrors? Come on. Enron is hardly just an aberration here.

To regulate or not to regulate is never the question. It is always a question of striking a balance. But when the game is rigged and the deck is stacked, the “balance” will only be calculated to serve the interest of a few. And most of us aren’t them. Government, as Reagan was fond of pointing out, was not the solution to our problems…government was the problem. Well it certainly could be in collusion with folks like Ken Lay. And put him in the same room with Bush 41 Bush 43 and Dick Cheney and…well the rest is history.

Mark to market accounting anyone? And why not? The bottom line can be whatever you say it is. Then when it came time for the “real money” to make an appearance project “pump and dump” was already in full swing.

Then there’s Enron in California: “There would be ample supple available at the right fucking price.” Listen to the tapes of the Enron traders here. The abject misery that so many people endured is just one big fucking joke to these assholes. Then as a result of this phony “energy crisis” Gray Davis is kicked out and Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected.

Crooks and idiots. And, as often as not, both.


Enron: the Smartest Guys in the Room

Congressman [to Skilling at hearing]: In the Titanic the captain went down with the ship. In Enron, it looks to me like the captain first gave himself and some friends a bonus and lowered himself and the top folks down into a lifeboat and then hollered up, “oh by the way, everything is going to be just fine”.

Well, only until Trump and his cronies refill the swamp, of course.

Narrator: Beyond the financial issue, some suspected a political conspiracy. Enron had been the largest corporate contributor to the first presidential campaign of George W. Bush.

Gasp!

Narrator: When Jeff Skilling applied to Harvard business school the professor asked him if he was smart. He replied, “I’m fucking smart”. One of his favorite books was The Selfish Gene about the ways human nature is steered by greed and competition in the service of passing on our genes.

He used to say that money was the only thing that motivated people. Capitalism here is aligned with human nature in other words. Nurture apparently has nothing to do with it.

Trader at Enron [on the the survival of the fittest mentality pervasive there]: If I’m on my way to the boss’s office to talk about my compensation and if I step on somebody’s throat along the way that doubles it, I’ll stomp on the guy’s throat. That’s how people were.

My guess: they still are.

Narrator: The game was called “pump and dump”. Top execs would push the stock price up and then cash in their mult-million dollar options.

Now they'll call it pump and dump and Trump. Unless it's actually Trump and pump and dump.

Analyst: You are the only financial institution that can’t produce a balance sheet or cash flow statement with their earnings…
Skilling: You, you, you… Well, uh… thank you very much. We appreciate it… asshole.

Lots and lots of assholes here appently.

Calif. Gov. Gray Davis: I’m going to get the $9 billion dollars back that Enron stole from us.

And we know what happened to him.

Narrator: The year long energy crisis in California would cost the state $30 billion dollars.

And it was all just a fake crisis brought on by Enron in order to make obscene profits. What to do? Turn it into a fucking joke:

Skilling: Oh I can’t help myself. You know what the difference between the state of California and Titanic? And this is being webcast, and I know I’m going to regret this - at least when the Titanic went down, the lights were on.

Are they still on?

Sherron Watkins: August 14th, 2001, Skilling abruptly resigns. Well that made me angry and it made loads of employees angry. It was a real sense of betrayal by the employees. This was Jim Jones feeding us the kool-aid and then deciding not to drink it himself.

Only he did, didn't he?

Lay [Q&A session with employees]: All right, we are down to questions. And I got a few that were sent up here.
[he reads a question from the floor]
Lay: ‘I would like to know if you are on crack, if so that would explain a lot. If not, you may want to start because it’s going to be a long time before we trust you again.’

You know, if ever.

Commentator: I’ve thought about this and it couldn’t have been just a few executives at Enron that made this happen. If you think of the banks involved…Chase, Morgan, Citi-Bank…the billions in loans…Arthur Anderson…the lawyers…there had to have been complicity across the board.

There still is, let's say.

Eugène Ionesco

Oh words, what crimes are committed in your name?

Yo, Mr. Objectivist! You're up!!

You can only predict things after they have happened.

Well, so far, anyway.

I thought that it was strange to assume that it was abnormal for anyone to be forever asking questions about the nature of the universe, about what the human condition really was, my condition, what I was doing here, if there was really something to do. It seemed to me, on the contrary, that it was abnormal for people NOT to think about it, for them to allow themselves to live, as it were, unconsciously. Perhaps it's because everyone, all the others, are convinced in some unformulated, irrational way that one day everything will be made clear. Perhaps there will be a morning of grace for humanity. Perhaps there will be a morning of grace for me.

Nope, not so far. How about you?

Describe a circle, stroke its back and it turns vicious.

Absurd enough for you?

I've always been suspicious of collective truths.

And, if only theoretically, you too?

If I tell these private thoughts of mine, it is because I know they are not mine alone, and that practically everyone is trying to say the same things and that the writer is only a man who says out loud what other people think or whisper.

See, I told you.

For some mysterious reason women are unable to give birth. But then one does. And yet given the state of the world – dystopian down to the bone for some – is this really such a good thing? After all there are any number of folks who insist they would never bring a child into a world this fucked up. And others will tell you the planet could only be better off with the extinction of the human race.

Here the whole world has crumbled into chaos. Only the Brits “soldier on”. And, as a result, they have a rather significant problem with immigrants. Britain apparently is what now passes for “civilization”. If you can call a virtual police state civilized.

And yet isn’t this what [increasingly] more and more people are predicting? The end of the world as we know it. A new world where only the fittest will survive. In their minds there are only two kinds of people: those who are preparing for it and those who are not. We’ve got a few of the former right here, don’t we? Kids mostly. In fact, they can’t wait for the world to come crashing down!

Here though it’s hard to distinguish which is worse: the authorities or the masses. And while one might think the world would celebrate – united – the first child born in 20 years, the mother is a “fugee”. And black. And that equals terrorism.

The contrast is stark: The world they experience and the willingness to bring a child into it. Something about the human species [through the Human Project] going back to square one: back to Africa. I can just imagine the reaction of the fascists in here!

When Miriam is taken off the bus at Bexhill, the camera pans by several cages with prisoners inside. One of them is the infamous “hooded man” from the Abu Ghraib prison torture pictures. He is seen in the exact pose as the real pictures.

Michael Caine based his performance on John Lennon. IMDb


Children of Men

Jasper [to Theo as a bus passes them]: Illegal immigrants. Taking them to Bexhill. Poor fugees. After escaping the worst atrocities and finally making it to England, our government hunts them down like cockroaches.

Any fugees here?

Theo: The Human Project, why do people believe this crap? You know even if these people existed with these facilities in these secret locations, fuck me, that’s strong! Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, doesn’t matter! Too late. World went to shit. Know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for fuck’s sake.

I’m with him.

Jasper: Ok, the Human Project gives this great, big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They’re tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery: why are all the women infertile? Why can’t we make babies anymore? So, some say it’s genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution, same ol’, same ol’. So, anyway, in the corner, this Englishman’s sitting, he hasn’t said a word, he’s just tuckin’ in his dinner. So, they decide to ask him, they say, “Well, why do you think we can’t make babies anymore?” And he looks up at ‘em, he’s chewin’ on this great big wing and he says “I haven’t the faintest idea,” he said, “but this stork is quite tasty isn’t he?”

That's it!

Theo: Julian? I haven’t seen you in twenty years. You look good. The picture the police have of you doesn’t do you justice.
Julian: What do the police know about justice?

Anyone here know?

Theo: I don’t talk politics.
Julian: That’s all you ever used to do.
Theo: That was 20 years ago. I’m a lot more successful now.

Hint, hint.

Theo: A hundred years from now there won’t be one sad fuck to look at any of this. What keeps you going?
Nigel: You know what it is, Theo? I just don’t think about it.

On the other hand, here, I keep bringing it up.

Theo [about Kee’s name choice for her unborn child]: This is the first baby born in 20 years and you want to name it Froley?

Let's think of a better one.

Miriam: It’s all part of a bigger thing.

On the other hand, what if if we are too?

R.D. Laing

What we call 'normal' is a product of repression, denial, splitting, projection, introjection and other forms of destructive action on experience.

Or did that all end with the Sixties?

The [possibility of developing psychosis] is aways present if the individual begins to identify himself too exclusively with that part of him which feels unembodied.

Or, for others, the fractured and fragmented parts.

Jack falls in love with Jill’s image of Jack, taking it to be himself.

Yep, one of the "knots".

We all know from our personal experience that we can be ourselves only in and through our world and there is a sense in which 'our' world will die with us although 'the' world will go on without us.

Bummer.

If I could turn you on, if I could drive you out of your wretched mind, if I could tell you I would let you know.

Starting now, say.

He had all along felt that he was, in his own words (which incidentally are also Heidegger's), 'on the fringe of being', with only one foot in life and with no right even to that. He felt that he was not really alive and that anyway he was of no value and had hardly the right to the pretension of having life.

Next up: on the fringe of being virtually.

This comes about as close as a mainstream movie is ever likely to in exposing what goes on behind the scenes in most top drawer American elections. Like the song says:

"Presidential elections are planned distractions
To divert attention from the action behind the scenes
Like a game of chess when the house is a mess
Or a petty money squabble when your marriage is in trouble
Or a football game when there’s rioting in the streets"

It’s a scenario cynics like me dream of: Some nationally known candidate [here a Senator] has nothing left to lose so he runs a political campaign predicated solely on what he actually believes is true and not what his handlers insist he must stump on based on the latest polls. Or in alignment with the wishes of his biggest campaign contributers.

Imagine a televised campaign debate where a candidate says this to the celebrity newswoman from the corporate media:

"Come on, why are you here? Admit it. It’s because you make a bundle. Come on, come on. We got three pretty rich guys here getting paid by some really rich guys to ask a couple of other rich guys questions about their campaigns. But our campaigns are financed by the same guys that pay you guys your money!"

The plot is totally absurd but no more absurd than the actual election campaigns we endure. Unfortunately, the very real points being made here about the nature of the American political process tend to get lost in slapstick, in farce…in the inanity that unfolds between the preposterous characters making the points.

And the ending? Oh well, this is Hollywood. And Twentieth Century Fox no less!


Bulworth

Insurance company lobbyist: …you throw down some lazy welfare-taking, drug-dealing, rap singing punk and then you tell me my people have to give him a policy? Why? So he can burn down his house or smoke crack and get AIDS?
Bulworth: I’m not sure you can get AIDS by burning down your house, but I get your point.

Let's dig deeper.

Bulworth [to the guy who hires the hitman]: A check for the second half of the money. If I’m not dead by Monday, I stop payment on that check.

That’s right: He’s hiring someone to kill himself. Let’s just say it’s, uh, integral to the plot.

Woman in the audience [at South Central church]: When the riots went down four years ago you promised us federal funding to rebuild our community. What happened?
Bulworth: What happened was we knew that was gonna be big news for a while so we all came down here – Bush, Clinton, Wilson – we got our pictures taken, told you all what you wanted to hear and then we pretty much forgot about it.

Politics, let's call it.

Woman in the audience [at South Central church]: We can’t get any insurance down here—no health insurance, fire insurance, life insurance. Why haven’t you come out for Senate Bill 2720?
Bulworth: Well, because you really haven’t contributed any money to my campaign have you? Do you have any idea how much these insurance companies come up with? They pretty much depend on me to take a bill like that and bottle it up in committee during an election and in that way we can kill it when you are not looking.

He wondered if that was still going on.

Woman in the audience: Are you sayin’ the Democratic Party don’t care about the African-American community?
Bulworth: Isn’t that obvious? You got half your kids are out of work and the other half are in jail. Do you see ANY Democrat doing anything about it? Certainly not me! So what’re you gonna do, vote Republican? Come on! Come on, you’re not gonna vote Republican! Let’s call a spade a spade!
[loud, angry booing]
Bulworth: I mean - come on! You can have a Billion Man March! If you don’t put down that malt liquor and chicken wings, and get behind someone other than a running back who stabs his wife, you’re NEVER gonna get rid of somebody like me!

Next up: The Jews.

Man: Senator, do you thnk those of us in the entertainment business need government help in determining limits on the amount of sex and violence in today’s movies?
Bulworth: You know the funny thing is how lousy most of your stuff is. You make violent films and dirty films and you make family films…but most of them are just not very good, are they? It’s funny…so many smart people could work so hard and spend all that money and make so much money on them. What do you think it is…it must be the money, huh? It turns everything to crap! How much money do you guys really need?
Man: Do you think it’s advisable to schedule campaign stops with industry leaders when you have such a low opinion of their product?
Bulworth: My guys are not stupid. They always put the big Jews on my schedule. You’re mostly Jews, right? Three out of four anyway. I’m sure Murphy put something bad about Farakhan in here for you.

Or, at the very least, nothing good about him.

Bulworth: What is it exactly you’re concerned about, Murphy?
Murphy: I’m concerned that you stood up in front of three hundred people in a black church and told them that they were not a factor and never would be as long as we remain in the pocket of the insurance lobby! I’m concerned that you went to a fundraiser in Beverly Hills and told various leaders of the entertainment industry that they make a lousy product, and since many of them also happen to be Jewish, you decided the prudent thing to do would be to mock their Jewish paranoia! I’m concerned that we are in an after-hours club in Compton on the eve of the most important event of the campaign swing, where God knows how much illegal activity is taking place and you are SMOKING MARIJUANA!

You know, back then...

Bulworth [now rapping in his campaign]:
One man, one vote now is that really real
The name of our game is “let’s make a deal”
Now people got problems the haves and have nots
But the ones that make me listen pay for 30 second spots.[/i]

Of course, that's still going on.

Bulworth: Why do you think there are no more black leaders?
Nina: Some think it’s because they all got killed but I think it’s from the decimation of urban manufacturing bases. Senator, an optimistic, energized population throws up optimistic, energized leaders. When you shift manufacturing to the Thrid World you destroy the blue collar core of the black activist population…Fact is, I’m a materialist. If I look at the economic base, high employment means jobs for African-Americans. World War II meant lots of jobs for black folks. That is what energized people for the civil rights movement. An energized hopeful community not only produces leaders, but leaders they’ll respond to.[/quote]

Let's run this by, among others, Barry.

Bulworth [at the debate]: The companies we both get our money from want us to believe that corporations are more efficient than government, right? You want to know why the health care industry is the most profitable business in the United States? 'Cause the insurance companies take 24 cents out of every dollar that’s spent. You know what it takes the government to do the same thing for Medicare? Three cents out of every dollar. These guys need to be regulated. What, do you think these pigs are going to regulate themselves?

Nope. And then some.

Bullworth [rapping]: We’ve got people in this country that can’t even buy a meal!
Ask a brother who’s been downsized if he’s gettin’ a deal.
Or a white boy bustin’ ass till they put him in his grave
He ain’t gotta be black to be livin’ like a slave.

Just wait until the workers of the world unite...around Trump?

Bulworth: All we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction. Everybody just gotta keep fuckin’ everybody 'til they’re all the same color.

Let's run this by, well, you know who.

Thomas Nagel from Mind & Cosmos

Theism pushes the quest for intelligibility outside the world. If God exists, he is not part of the natural order but a free agent not governed by natural laws. He may act partly by creating a natural order, but whatever he does directly cannot be part of that order.

Well, that settles that, right?

Everything, living or not, is constituted from elements having a nature that is both physical and nonphysical--that is, capable of combining into mental wholes. So this reductive account can also be described as a form of panpsychism: all the elements of the physical world are also mental....

Well, that settles that, right?

In either case, natural teleology would mean that the universe is rationally governed in more than one way—not only through the universal quantitative laws of physics that underlie efficient causation but also through principles which imply that things happen because they are on a path that leads toward certain outcomes—notably, the existence of living, and ultimately of conscious, organisms.

Okay, fine, maybe. But somehow all of that has to be squared with all of this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_earthquakes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_l ... _eruptions
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_t ... l_cyclones
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tsunamis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_landslides
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fires
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_epidemics
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deadliest_floods
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_t ... ore_deaths
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_diseases
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_extinction_events

Go ahead, give it a shot.

My skepticism is not based on religious belief, or on a belief in any definite alternative. It is just a belief that the available scientific evidence, in spite of the consensus of scientific opinion, does not in this matter rationally require us to subordinate the incredulity of common sense. That is especially true with regard to the origin of life.

Common sense and the origin of life...meet common sense and the existence of existence itself.

The existence of conscious minds and their access to the evident truths of ethics and mathematics are among the data that a theory of the world and our place in it has yet to explain.

On the contrary, dozens and dozens of folks here alone can explain it down to the last detail.

It is prima facie highly implausible that life as we know it is the result of a sequence of physical accidents together with the mechanism of natural selection.

Next up: actually demonstrating this.

I’m reasonably certain the bourgeoisie – most of them – are [by now] indifferent to being mocked and ridiculed. As long as they get to keep doing the things that the bourgeoisie do. For instance, exploiting the rest of us.

In other words, for the “masses” [sadly], all they really have at their disposal is the ability to caricature them.

But enough of “politics”. Here it’s personal. And their mannerisms never change: always surreal, always absurd. Whatever the occasion. A world totally bereft of irony. By, among other things, bursting at the seams with it. Lampooning the French ruling class is [apparently] almost as effortless an undertaking as lampooning the prigs in Britain. It’s all just a matter of perspective. And here even the “revolutionaries” are fair game.

In short, everything is blown up all out of proportion. Until [at last] we begin to see how futile it is to take any of it seriously at all. Except that “out in the world” the various factions do take “it” seriously. Along with themselves. After all, it’s not like they have much choice. Though the brutal consequences would not be described [by many] as surreal and absurd.

And then there is the question of what to put in its place. Is there anything at all that isn’t also subject to satirical romps? Bunuel…the nihilist?

Or just think of it as a dream within a dream within a dream.

Look for the French connection.

In his autobiography, My Last Sigh, Luis Buñuel said he had difficulty finding a title for the film. On the last day of writing the script, he came up with A bas Lénine, ou la Vierge à l’écurie - Down with Lenin, or The Virgin in the Manger. Someone suggested Le Charme de la Bourgeoisie, and the adjective “discret” was eventually added. Buñuel said he and co-writer Jean-Claude Carrière never once thought of the word “bourgeoisie” while working on the screenplay. IMDb


The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeosi [Le Charme Discret de la Bourgeoisie]

Rafael: No system can give the masses the proper social graces. But you know me, I’m no reactionary.

Also, he's the french connection.

Bishop: I’m delighted to meet you. We have an important mission in Bogota.
Rafael: Bogota is in Colombia.
Bishop: That’s right, Colombia. Sorry, I got mixed up. I’ve never been to Miranda, but I hear it is a magnificent country: the Great Cordillera, the pampas…
Rafael: The pampas are in Argentina, monsignor.
Bishop: The pampas. Of course. I should’ve known that. Recently I saw a book on Latin America. There were photos of your ancient pyramids.
Rafael: Our pyramids? We have no pyramids in Miranda. Mexico and Guatemala have pyramids. We don’t.
Bishop: You’re sure?
Rafael: Absolutely.

I don't recall seeing any.

Colonel: Marijuana isn’t a drug. Look at what goes on in Vietnam. From the general down to the private, they all smoke.
Mme. Thevenot: As a result, once a week they bomb their own troops.
Colonel: If they bomb their own troops, they must have their reasons.

Like they even need them.

M.: Any news from Miranda?
Rafael: Yes.
M.: The situation?
Rafael: Quite calm.
M.: And the guerrillas?
Rafael: There are a few left. They are a part of our folklore.
Alice: You have problems with the students?
Rafael: Students are young. They must have some fun.
Mme. Thevenot: How’s your government treating them?
Rafael: We are not against the students, but what can you do with a room full of flies? You take a fly-swatter and Bang! Bang!
Mme. Thevenot: No more flies!

That's what we need here, too...fly-swatters.

Colonel: I didn’t know that chivalry still existed in your semi-savage country.
Rafael: Sir, you just insulted the Republic of Miranda!
Colonel: I don’t give a damn about the Republic of Miranda!
Rafael: And I shit on your entire army!

Figuratively, let's say. Or, sure, down there, maybe not.

Peasant: Father? I want to tell you something.
Bishop: Then tell me, my child.
Peasant: I really don’t like Jesus Christ. Even as a little girl I hated him.
Bishop: But such a good, gentle God? How is it possible?!

One of them's a fool.

David Lynch

I don't think it was pain that made Vincent Van Gogh great - I think his painting brought him whatever happiness he had.

We want to believe that, don't we?

I hate slick and pretty things. I prefer mistakes and accidents. Which is why I like things like cuts and bruises - they're like little flowers. I've always said that if you have a name for something, like 'cut' or 'bruise,' people will automatically be disturbed by it. But when you see the same thing in nature, and you don't know what it is, it can be very beautiful.

Especially their cuts and bruises.

Ideas are like fish. If you want to catch little fish, you can stay in the shallow water. But if you want to catch the big fish, you’ve got to go deeper. Down deep, the fish are more powerful and more pure.They’re huge and abstract. And they’re very beautiful.

Next up: going fishing here.

I like to remember things my own way. How I remembered them, not necessarily the way they happened.

Well, click, of course.

We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experience is a narrowing of the imagination.

Whichever comes first, say.

I don’t think that people accept the fact that life doesn’t make sense. I think it makes people terribly uncomfortable.

Look how uncomfortable some folks here are in imagining life from a "fractured and fragmented" frame of mind.

There are folks out there who know just how realistic this movie is. Well, I’m not one of them. Is it basically the exception or basically the rule?

Famous crime novelist and LAPD specialist James Ellroy described the movie as “a complete waste of time”. IMDb

One would imagine however there is a rather significant gap between how the the city of Los Angeles would like citizens to view their police department and the way it actually functions instead.

My own reservations stem from the manner in which some argue this is the only realistic way in which to approach narcotics in the Big City; but the plain and simple truth is this: it hardly seems to be working. Drug use is as rampant as ever and the prison industrial complex still revolves around it. At best they might argue that things would be considerably worse if the Alonzos – the “system” – weren’t around. And maybe that’s true. One thing for certain: in narcotics there is an enormous amount of cash involved. Who wouldn’t be tempted?

He fucks with everybody though. That means you’re on his side with some folks but not with others. And it’s hard to tell if he is really being himself or is just playing this character he invented on the job. Or when he is even telling the truth for that matter. But one thing is for sure: it’s a goddamned dangerous world that he does these things in. By the book? Right.

It’s all about the means to an end. Sooner or later it has to be. It’s just that we live in an imperfect world. Sometimes the result is justice and sometimes it’s not.

And it goes without saying: Don’t fuck with the Russians.

When the movie came out, many viewers and critics were skeptical of the scenes where Jake Hoyt smokes marijuana laced with PCP and Alonzo’s explanation of how a cop who didn’t take drugs offered to him on the street would be ID’d as police and murdered. David Ayer responded in an interview by holding up a highlighted section of the LAPD’s rules and regulations; it stated that officers were allowed to use narcotics in very specific undercover situations, and hewed closely to what Alonzo told Jake. IMDb


Training Day

Alonzo: Tell me a story, Hoyt.

You know the kind...

Alonzo: Today’s a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give you a taste of the business. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can’t clear. I supervise five officers. That’s five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act right. But I ain’t holding no hands, okay? I ain’t baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you’re made of. You don’t like narcotics, get the fuck out of my car. Go get you a nice, pussy desk job, chasing bad checks or something, you hear me?

Loud and clear. If not crystal.

Alonzo: Why do you wanna be a narc?
Jake: I want to protect the streets by ridding it of dangerous drugs.
Alonzo: Yeah, but why do you wanna be a narc?
Jake: I wanna make detective.
Alonzo: There you go. You stick around with me, you’ll make it. Unlearn that bullshit they teach you at the Academy. That shit’ll get you killed out here.
Jake: I’ll do anything you want me to do.
Alonzo: My nigga.

On the other hand...

Alonzo: To be truly effective, a good narcotics agent must know and love narcotics. In fact, a good narcotics agent should have narcotics in his blood.
Jake: Are you gonna smoke that?
Alonzo: No, you are.
Jake [laughs]: Hell if I am.
Alonzo: You not gon’ smoke it?
Jake: Naw, man. I became a narc to rid the streets of dopers, not to be one.
Alonzo: Come on, man, take a hit.
Jake: Naw, man.
Alonzo [slams on brakes, then puts a gun to Jake’s head]: Yeah, right. If I was a drug dealer, you’d be dead by now, motherfucker. You turn shit down on the streets, and the chief brings your wife a crisply folded flag. What the fuck’s wrong with you? Talking about - You know what? I don’t want you in my unit. I don’t even want you in my division. Get the fuck out the car. Go back to the Valley, rookie.
Jake: All right, I’ll smoke it.

Next up: injecting it?

Alonzo: Didn’t know you liked it wet, though.
Jake: What’s wet?
Alonzo: Butt-naked. Ill. Sherm. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-dog. That’s what you just had.

You know, not unlike Louis Winthorp III.

Roger: Here’s a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn’t die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, ‘What the fuck’s your problem?’
Jake [bursts out laughing]: That wasn’t funny.
Alonzo: Then why are you cackling like a jackal?
Jake: I dunno.
Roger: Figure that joke out and you’ll figure the streets out.

And the equivalent of that here, of course. Well, while we're still around?

Alonzo: You know about this place?
Jake: It’s the Jungle, right? They say don’t come with anything less than a platoon.
Alonzo: This is the heart of it. The jungle. Damu headquarters. Stoners. A lot of murder investigations lead here. One way in, one way out. Don’t ever come here without me. I’m serious.

So, who accompanies you here?

Jake: How much money was in that bag?
Alonzo: 40 G’s.
Jake: What was that for?
Alonzo: You really wanna know?
Jake: Yeah. I asked, didn’t I?
Alonzo: Nothing’s free in this world, Jake. Not even arrest warrants.
Jake: Shit, I didn’t wanna know.

More of "the street" shit, isn't it?

Alonzo [after killing Roger and shooting Jeff]: It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove.

See, I told you.

Jake [to Alonzo]: That is the second time you have pointed a gun at me, there will not be a third.

Let's see where the script goes.

Jake: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.
Alonzo: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Son, this is the game. I’m playing his ass. That’s my jub. That’s your job. Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit’s chess, it ain’t checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.

Here, of course, that may or may not be the right thing to do.

Alonzo: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don’t give a fuck, but it’ll make the boys feel better…
Jake: Fuck their feelings.
Alonzo: You’re not makin’ them feel like you’re part of the team.
Jake: Team? You guys are fuckin’ insane.

That's just one way to look at it, I'm guessin'.

Alonzo [to Jake]: The sooner you match what’s in your head with what’s in the real world the better you’ll feel.[/b]

Or here...forget about it.

Jake [to Alonzo]: You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

On the other hand...

Alonzo: What a day. What a motherfuckin’ day.

You tell me.

Never had to endure all this shit myself. I knew what I wanted in a woman and so I put myself in an environment where the women who wanted much the same thing in a man tended to congregate.

Here though the guy just wants to get laid. It’s on his brain. All the time. And what counts [aside from looks, charm, wit and a bank account of course] is learning all the tricks of the trade. The trade? Being a wolf. Roger, a sophistication Manhattan “player”, wrote the book. On the other hand, Nick, his nephew, is still in high school. But we know where this one is going practically from the start. It just depends on how well it is written. And, for what it is, this one is well written indeed. A gem.

Roger, you see, is pretty much of an asshole. So Nick is there to straighten him out. Unwittingly, as it were. Not that Roger doesn’t have a lot to teach him. It’s just that he [Roger] has a lot to learn himself. About treating a lady, for example. Or, for that matter, his own sister.

Of course, they are all very, very attractive. Beautiful, you might say. Another sex, lies, and videotape ensemble. Hey, few have the balls to scrap that part of the narrative.

Jesse Eisenberg received his very first kiss from Jennifer Beals in a scene from this movie. IMDb

This was his film debut.


Roger Dodger

Roger [at lunch with the gang from work]: Interestingly, a group of scientists in England just announced their intention to fertilize an egg without the use of sperm cells.
Joyce: I don’t understand that.
Roger: Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now they were the only ones with access. Within our lifetime, artificial insemination will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit.

About time, right?

Joyce: Roger, you know that we women make love because we like it. Not just to procreate.
Roger: Yes. But are men absolutely necessary? Think of the structure of the female genitalia. What is the most sensitive part of the vagina? It’s the clitoris. The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fiibers. It’s a far greater concentration than in any part of the male body even our fiingertips. It is the most effiicient, pleasure-delivery system ever devised by nature. Now, ask yourself why didn’t the clitoris end up inside the vagina so that intercourse would be naturally…compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman?
Joyce: I know the answer. Because in primitive time, women often died of childbirth. So for intercourse to be too pleasurable…it wouldn’t make sense from a Darwinian standpoint.
Roger: Absolutely right. What does that tell us? That for women intercourse and sexual fulfiillment were never intended to intersect. New technology just makes it offiicial. Future generations of women will evolve clitorises – ‘‘clitori, clitorati’’ – that are larger, longer, even more sensitive. And a woman’s ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate will increase exponentially as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility. Natural selection. That is a principle of nature. Selection. Something has to lose, something has to be defeated in order for something else to be selected.

About time, right?

Roger [to woman in a bar]: I could tell you that what you think of as your personality is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fair articles. I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. I could tell you that given a week to study your father and the ways in which he ignores you I could come up with a schtick you’d be helpless to resist. Helpless.

She doesn’t fall for it. But you suspect that many have.

Roger [aloud to the woman as she walks away]: But if you feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic, heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means…

Apparently, she does.

Nick: Like, what do you do all day?
Roger: What do I do all day? I sit here and think of ways to make people feel bad.
Nick: I thought you wrote for commercials.
Roger: I do…but you can’t sell a product without first making people feel bad.
Nick: Why not?
Roger: Because it’s a substitution game. You have to remind them that they’re missing something from their lives. And when they’re feeling sufficiently incomplete…you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void. So, instead of taking steps to deal with their lives, instead of working to root out the real reason for their misery they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants.
Nick: So…is it fun?
Roger: It can be.

What with all the suckers out there.

Roger [teaching Nick the, uh, ways of women]: Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here? What do they think, it’s all stock quotes, drill bit sizes? They don’t know shit! Let’s keep it that way.

And of course -- or especially -- the other way around.

Roger: I’m gonna get us some drinks. While I’m there, think of a hook.
Nick: What? A hook?
Roger: A hook. A line. An opening salvo. Any minute now, Rosebud is going to be standing right here looking down at you, and you’re going to have one chance…one chance to either hit it out of the park or strike out miserably.

And of course the particularly abject quivalent of that here.

Nick: What is this?
Roger: Rum and coke. I told him to mix it weak. We got a long way to go here.
Nick: Okay. I don’t drink. I don’t put alcohol into my body.
Roger: You drink that drink! Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you’re going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel? Please.

Down it goes.

Roger [to Nick]: You did one very good thing. You lied. You made something up. Keep that part of your brain working. We get those girls over here, your first instinct is gonna be to open up. To tell the truth. Fight it!

Practice makes perfect let's say.

Roger: So, the time. 7:00. We’ve got nine hours until closing time. An eternity. Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question. Who is the greatest basketball player in the history of the game?
Nick: Michael Jordan?
Roger: Michael Jordan. Why was he the greatest? Because he paced himself. Because he always had something left at the finish. Magic Johnson called it ‘‘winning time.’’ We are a long way from winning time, so pay attention.

Pacing yourself here.

Roger: Ask any woman, ‘‘What’s the single most attractive quality a man can possess?’’ And what do they invariably answer?
Nick: Sense of humor.
Roger: Sense of humor. Sense of humor is huge. And yet, if two lean, mean, play-by-their-own-rules motorcycle-riding men strolled up to this booth and beat the shit out of us two humorous guys and asked you out for a ride, you would be weak at the knees.
Sophie: No way.
Roger: Weak at the knees.
Andrea: Well, actually, guys who ride cycles are pretty sexy.
Roger: Thank you.

Got a few of them here, gals.

Nick: You said there was a fail-safe.
Roger: What fail-safe?
Nick: Back at the bar. You said there was a fail-safe.
Roger: Did I? I don’t think you want the fail-safe.
Nick: No, I want it!
Roger: You sure?
Nick: Yes, I’m sure.

Take a wild guess.

Roger: I’m talking about standing out from this guys-only, Star Trek-convention, frankly, homoerotic little group…and introducing yourself to one of these girls.
Nick’s friend: Yeah, but I always get so nervous.
Roger: Why? There’s nothing at stake. If there was a chance of you actually getting laid then you’d have a reason to be nervous. Try working someone in a bar for three hours and then you gotta close the deal right before last call. That’s pressure.

So they tell you.

Darren: Yeah, but you can’t let a girl know how nervous you are. You gotta let her know you’re in control, right?
Roger: ‘‘In control’’? Who is this guy? You’re in high school. You don’t control anything. Look at your face!

That does tell us all.

Angela: Hey, Nick. Some guy…I guess he’s your uncle…he said you had something to tell me. He said it would ‘‘blow my mind.’’

Something get's blown, anyway.

Revenge is a meal best served cold. By all means, serve it up any way you wish. But know this: In a world without God, it is your only viable option. Otherwise the perceived injustice becomes more than you can bear. Yet there will always be a context and a point of view. No getting around that. So, if you can justify it to your own satisfaction what more do you need?

Here the acts are abominations. And they are committed against children.

Creasy is ex CIA. He did the wet work for them. So, depending on who exactly he dispatched [and your inclination regarding American foreign policy], you like him or you don’t. Now however he is a washed up, over the hill drunk “reduced” to babysitting some rich kid in Mexico.

But as you come to like the kid so does he. In fact, she brings him back from the dead. So when she is kidnapped and the attempt to rescue her is botched she is [presumably] killed. And then one by one Creasy sets about to…even up the score. To me the whole sequence was exhilarating. Just in trying to imagine being able to do it myself. And it is a whole string of [really despicable] folks because corruption is everywhere down in Mexico City. In and out of the government. But especially within the police department. In other words, kidnapping here is organized crime.


Man On Fire

Creasy: Do you think God’ll forgive us for what we’ve done?
Rayburn: No.

"You're mission, should you decide to accept it..."
On the other hand, "...as always should any of your team be caught or killed the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions."

Samuel: Your resume is quite impressive. 16 years of military experience, extensive counter-terrorism work. I’m surprised anyone could afford you, what’s the catch?
Creasy: I drink.
Samuel: How does that affect you?
Creasy: Coordination, reaction time. Top professionals try to kidnap your daughter I’ll do the best I can…but the service will be on par with the pay.

No problem, right Sam?

Pita [to Creasy]: There were 24 kidnappings in Mexico City in the last 6 days. Four a day.

24 divided by 6? Yep, that's four.

Sister Anna: Do you ever see the Hand of God in what you do?
Creasy: No, not for a long time.
Sister Anna: The Bible says, “Do not be over come with evil, but overcome…?
Creasy: …but overcome evil with good.”
[then in Spanish]:
Creasy: That’s Romans Chapter 12 Verse 21. I am the sheep that got lost, Madre.

Think Chuck Barris.

Lisa: You read the Bible Mr. Creasy?
Creasy: Yeah, sometimes.
Lisa: Does it help?
Creasy: Yeah, sometimes.

Run that by Samuel.

Rayburn: Well, you know what we used to say. A bullet always tells the truth.

In other words, their bullets too.

Creasy: There is no such thing as tough. There is trained and untrained.

Or, here, clouds or no clouds.

Miguel [to Rayburn]: Hospitals can be very dangerous places…especially if you have killed two corrupt cops.

Two to start with.

Rayburn [looking at a list]: You’re talking war, Crease.

Let's run this by henry "Bazooka Joe" quirk.

Mariana: Fuentes is better protected than the president of Mexico.
Creasy: He’s gonna need it.

Right up the old hershey highway.

Miguel: I want this man as much as he does.
Rayburn: Creasy will deliver more justice in a weekend than ten years of your courts and tribunals. Just stay out of his way.

Him and Wall Street.

Rayburn: Pita Ramos…that’s a number to you. You know, one more dead, but a number.
Miguel: What was she to Creasy then?
Rayburn: She showed him it was all right to live again.
Miguel: And the kidnappers took that away, huh?
Rayburn: Right. And they are going to wish they never touched a hair on her head. A man can be an artist…in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasy’s art is death. He’s about to paint his masterpiece.

Oh, yeah.

Elderly Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.

You'd think that would be IC's job here too, wouldn't you?

Creasy: Do you know what this is? It’s a charger used by convicts to hide money and drugs…they tuck it up their rectum. This is pencil detonator, timer, used as a receiver from the pager. This is C4…highly explosive; you put it all together you’ve got a bomb, not very sophisticated, but very powerful.
[whispers in his ear]
Creasy: That’s what you have up your ass right now.

So much for "the Brotherhood".

Fuentes: You know, I’m really sorry for the girl. It’s just a business. I-I’m a professional.
Creasy: That’s what everybody keeps saying. “I’m just a professional”. Everybody keeps saying that to me. “I’m just a professional”, “I’m just a professional”. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing that. You understand?

Not that he has much time for it to sink in, of course.

Lisa [to Creasy of her husband]: You kill him or I will.

Actually, her husband makes a good point. Jordan Kalfus is the real asshole here.

In which we learn the definition of irony. And [for some] how to embody nihilism. You know, like they do out in Hollywood.

Oh, and how, sooner or later, most of us have to make compromises in our lives regarding, well, most everything that is important. And thus how crushing it can be when we come across the folks who don’t. Why? Well, maybe because they’re lucky, maybe because they’re gifted, maybe because they’re just rolling in dough. Or maybe because they worked their asses off to be what they always wanted to be.

It all works here though because it’s just comedy. Or it is until you recognize the parts that weren’t really all that funny when it was your turn to embody them. But lest we forget these are just kids. And things can always get even more complicated when you are no longer.

Reality, in other words, can bite.

To wit:

Lelaina is making a “reality doc” about the true plight of young folks in America. Reality as it actually is for them and not as some McCorporate state would like them to think it is. In other words, allowing folks to find their true Identity. For instance, one you don’t pay for at a mall. These guys are really, really hip. What others would call “cool”. But there it is: That accursed need for money. And what a bummer now that socialism is just a relic from the past. The rest is basically how they cope with it.

Despite Lelaina’s anti-consumerism speech at the beginning, this film has a considerable amount of product placement and product references in the dialogue, including Gap, BMW, Diet Coca-Cola, Pringles, 7-Eleven (its Big Gulp drinks are seen throughout the film), Pizza Hut, Domino’s Pizza, Evian, Camel Straight cigarettes, Snickers, McDonalds (Troy mentions a Quarter Pounder with Cheese as one of life’s pleasures), Whole Foods Market, Continental Airlines, Cocoa Puffs, Infiniti (Nissan USA luxury automobile division), Ford Motor Company, and Minute Maid.

Irony you think, Troy?


Reality Bites

Vickie: I’m going to take Sam against his will and straighten him out because I truly believe that if we can get two women on the supreme court, we can get at least one on him.

No way, as I recall.

Daddy: And, little darling, after you’ve been in the real world for a while you’re gonna appreciate that car.
Troy: Yeah. Just think of all those starving children in Africa who don’t even have cars.

And still don't.

Troy: If I could bottle the sexual tension between Bonnie Franklin and Schneider I could solve the energy crisis.

Next up: Mackenzie and John?

Troy: I am picking up some very strange vibes in here. They’re of the…“I just got laid” variety. Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water? Or was it his in-depth analysis of Markie Mark that finally reeled you in? I just would have liked to have been there to watch how you rationalized sleeping with a yuppy-head cheeseball on the first date.
Lelaina: He’s not a yuppy.
Troy: He’s the reason why Cliff Notes were invented.

Reality sucks, let's say.

Lelaina: If something’s bothering you that much I wish you could just be man enough to talk to me about it.
[he gets up, walks over to her and cups her face]
Troy: All right, Lelaina. I am really in love with you.
[it’s what she has always wanted him to say…but then]
Troy: Is that what you want to hear? Is it? Well, don’t flatter yourself.
Lelaina: Go to hell.

Of course, he really is in love with her. Or so we are meant to assume.

Troy [in the documentary]: When my father found out that he had cancer he decided to bring me here and he gives me this big pink sea shell and he says to me, “Son, the answers are all inside of this.” And I’m all, like, “What?” But then I realized that the shell was empty. There’s no point to any of this. It’s all just a…a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know…a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle…and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.

Riding your own melt here. Is that even possible?

Lelaina: I’m not going to work at the Gap for Chrissake!

You know, like Vickie.

Troy: Now if you’ll come this way, please we will continue our short but happy walking tour of the career of Troy Dyer. And here we have the newsstand where Troy dared to ask the question “Are employee snacks subsidized?” The answer…tragically…no.

And how ironic is that?

Editor: Define irony.
Lelaina: Irony. Uh…Irony. It’s a noun. It’s when something is…ironic. It’s, uh…Well, I can’t really define irony…but I know it when I see it!

Later…

Lelaina: This day has been the biggest nightmare. I mean, these job interviews, Troy…the word vivisection, a staggering understatement. I mean, can you define irony?
Troy [looking up from Heidegger’s Being and Time]: It’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.

Troy...the Nazi?!

Charlane [Mom]: Why don’t you get a job at the Burgerrama? They’ll hire you! My Lord, I saw on the TV - they had this little retarded boy working the register.
Lelaina: Because I’m not retarded, Mom. I was the valedictorian of my University!
Wes [step-father]: Well you dont have to put that on your application.

That's true, right?

Vickie: Lainie, what are you doing? What are you doing? You lay on that couch all day. Those pajamas are like your uniform. You run up a four-hundred dollar phone bill. You watch TV. You chain-smoke. You don’t go outside. You don’t do anything. Man, you are in the bell jar!

The other bell jar, let's say.

Vickie: All right. We’re just trying to pay bills here, OK? So, Troy, if you got any money…
Lelaina: Money? Oh, but what’s money to an artist? To a philosopher? It’s just green-colored paper that floats in and out of his life like snow. It’s nothing you actually have to, I don’t know, work for…is it, Troy?

Let alone at the Gap.

Michael: Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn’t know the secret handshake with you.
Troy: There’s no secret handshake. There’s an IQ prerequisite, but there’s no secret handshake.

So, who won?

Michael [to Lelaina after an MTV clone butchers her documentary]: It’s, like, you have this great piece of work and we have this audience, these kids… and it’s like trying to feed them meatloaf or something and they don’t want to eat it, right? So you have to give them, like, “Here comes the plane. It’s coming into the hangar. Open up the hangar.” But it’s still meatloaf.

You tell me.

Lelaina: I just don’t understand why things just can’t go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.
Troy: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS.

Reality blows?

Troy [on answering machine]: At the beep, please leave your name, number, and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man’s existential dilemma, and we’ll get back to you.

There ain't one, let's say.

Dad [leaving a message on phone]: Uh, Lelaina, this is your dad. Give me a call when you get this. I need you to explain something. I just got a nine-hundred-dollar bill on my gas card!

Remember that?

Philosophy

“I think that the task of philosophy is not to provide answers, but to show how the way we perceive a problem can be itself part of a problem.” Slavoj Žižek

For example...

“The discovery of what is true and the practice of that which is good are the two most important aims of philosophy.” Voltaire

Next up: or else.

“Few if any seemed to have grasped the Principle of Reality; new knowledge leads always to yet more awesome mysteries. Greater physiological knowledge of the brain makes the existence of the soul less possible yet more probable by the nature of the search.” Stephen King

Said the gunslinger?

“Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want.” Anna Lappe

That explains...everything?

All things of the body stream away like a river, all things of the mind are dreams and delusion; life is warfare, and a visit to a strange land; the only lasting fame is oblivion.” Marcus Aurelius

See, I told you.

“A Paradox, the doughnut hole. Empty space, once, but now they've learned to market even that. A minus quantity; nothing, rendered edible. I wondered if they might be used-metaphorically, of course-to demonstrate the existence of God. Does naming a sphere of nothingness transmute it into being?” Margaret Atwood

The doughnut holes here? Just add clouds.

A kid. But not really a kid at all. Let’s just say that, with respect to some things, he’s…precocious. He thinks thoughts that wouldn’t occur to other kids his age in a million years. He’s an outlier, an outsider. Well, kind of. But he knows how to blend in if it might get him what he wants. The girl, for one thing.

In other words, he is trying to find himself in a world that can be really, really dull and really, really predictable. Think of them as groping to get beyond the mentality of American Youth. Only in Wales. Not that they always succeed, of course. Sometimes you can hardly tell them apart. They are, after all, not exactly revolutionaries. But [naturally] he does read Nietzsche. And Shakespeare and Salinger.

Sadly, these kids don’t exactly have many role models worth emulating. So, if there are going to be ones for the next generation it had better be them. On the other hand, maybe he’s just better off chucking them all and finding his own way through the bullshit. It seems that, when push comes to shove, she’s still one of them. But then so is he.


Submarine

Oliver [voiceover]: Most people think of themselves as individuals, that there’s no-one on the planet like them. This thought motivates them to get out of bed, eat food, and walk around like nothing’s wrong.

In fact, even posting here can be rationalized.

Oliver [voiceover]: I find that the only way to get through life, is to picture myself in an entirely disconnected reality. I often imagine how people would react to my death. Mr Dunthorne’s quavering voice as he makes the announcement. The shocked faces of my classmates. A playground bedecked with flowers. The empty stillness of a school corridor. Local news analysis. Tear-streaked tributes. The steady stoicism of my parents. Candlelit vigils.

And in the background reactions and images more reflective of Princess Di’s demise.

Oliver [voiceover]: Sometimes I wish there was a film crew following my every move. I imagine the camera craning up as I walk away. But, unless things improve, the biopic of my life will only have the budget for a zoom out.

Still, better that than the camera zooming in.

Oliver [voiceover]: My mother is worried I have mental problems. I found a book about teenage paranoid delusions during a routine search of my parents’ bedroom. After that, I start slipping choice phrases into our conversation. “My body has been replaced by a shell.”, “My organs are made of stone”, “I’ve been dead now for years."

Then challenge them to prove otherwise.

Jill: So. How are things with Jordana?
Oliver: Fine.
Jill: You ever going to let us meet her?
Oliver: I don’t think so. Maybe if you get a terminal illness.

They should be so lucky.

Oliver [voiceover]: Jordana and I enjoyed an atavistic, glorious fortnight of lovemakin’; humiliatin’ teachers and bullying the weak. I have already turned these moments into the Super-8 footage of memory.

Who wouldn't?

Oliver [to Jordana]: Well, you know, I thought it would be nice to get some mutual interests…now that we’ve had sex…other than spitting and setting things on fire.

So, they started posting here.

Oliver [voiceover]: My mum is the exact type of person who is susceptible to this mystic bullshit. I can picture her telling Jackie at work how it’s a bit over the top but there’s something in it. If my dad radiated a colour, it’d be ochre or eggshell. He knows the number for the pothole helpline by heart…

New thread?

Oliver [voiceover]: I have no idea what I’m hoping to achieve by breaking into Graham’s house. I just want to give him the idea that I’m deranged and therefore capable of anything. This will probably involve me urinating or something.

Whatever works.

Oliver [to Jordana]: My mum gave a handjob to a mystic.

I missed that.

Oliver [voiceover]: Jodana’s new boyfriend has an incredibly long neck. Just thinking about giraffes makes me angry.

I hear that.

David Lynch

Absurdity is what I like most in life.

His movies, for example.

Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there's humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd.

Of course, your "after a while" might be different.

I learned that just beneath the surface there's another world, and still different worlds as you dig deeper. I knew it as a kid, but I couldn't find the proof. It was just a kind of feeling. There is goodness in blue skies and flowers, but another force--a wild pain and decay--also accompanies everything.

So far, anyway.

My cow is not pretty, but it is pretty to me.

That settles that, right?

I don't know why people expect art to make sense. They accept the fact that life doesn't make sense.

If only from the cradle to the grave.

There's a safety in thinking in a diner. You can have your coffee or your milkshake, and you can go off into strange dark areas, and always come back to the safety of the diner.

Let's make it safe to think here.