Alexis Jacobi wrote: ↑Fri Oct 09, 2026 9:50 pm
...the world he sees is a sort of determined hell that cannot better itself, and cannot be redeemed. His Vision is the end of the road. Effectively hopeless. And a unique intellectual hopelessness that stimulates and renews itself continually.
I don't know what Gary really wants. I don't think he wants out of that, though. I think he finds it comforting, in a strange way. To position himself as Fate's eternal victim gives him a blessed freedom from all responsibility, and grants him perpetual self-pity...both of which can be very soothing. No blame, no duty, no responsibility, no options, no culpability and no way out, and no end... And it means, "I'm already in the right position, the only one I can possibly take; I have no blame for where I am, and can do nothing about it. I'm right to be as I am."
And in such a worldview, one does not have to look at one's own choices or one's own behaviour. It's all been done TO one, and one is not going to learn anything from self-examination or from assuming any blame for one's lot. The bitter Fates have caused it all, and poor, suffering me is swept up in Sisyphean helplessness. One is one's own tragic hero, in an opera only oneself is ever really enjoying.
Gary's not stupid. That much is evident. He can problem-solve, if he wants. But in relation to his own general view of life, he does not seem interested in solving the central problems. He wishes to stay as he is.
We've been talking a long while, and I have yet to see Gary lift one finger to make his own life better. Maybe he does, and just doesn't say. But he seems to return constantly with the same level of misery, as if even the latest such effort has merely proved the failure of that possibility once again. He wallows in it, up to his armpits. And he gets mad as a wet hen when anybody suggests he could make different choices, and thereby might get better results. It's not about better results, it seems; it's about justifying staying with the same results.
Gary will probably be better when Gary makes different choices about how Gary interprets his own situation and his own life. But to do that, he's going to have to give up the pleasure of wallowing and excusing...and that's hard to do, when that sort of self-justification has become one's chief consolation in life. He needs help with a new mindset; a
metanoia, if you will. And given his self-reinforcing worldview, that help will have to come to him from outside ; but will come only when he's ready to seek it.