Philosophy Now Forum

accelafine wrote: ↑Wed Oct 30, 2024 10:50 am

Fairy wrote: ↑Sun Sep 22, 2024 7:08 pm Or, can men quite happily live all alone for their entire life and be happy being celibate.

If a man did not get married or did not get into an LTR before the age of 40, he will almost surely never do it.

Then, there's also the men who would never do it again. Then, there's the guys like me who don't want to do it in the West.

In other words, if that is your target demographic, then you will have to deal with slim pickings. I certainly don't envy women who are still dating in their thirties (or older).

Joe "genocide" Biden is giving very bad advice to women -- "no serious guys before 30". He is setting them up for failure.

I think men and women desire to couple up or marry each other because they are conditioned to believe that that is what is expected of them.
So they are more inclined to be open to the commitment, without really giving much thought to what it means to give up one's single life to be with another. The decision to marry can be easy and most people are eager and willing to say ( where do I sign )

Many couple-up not really knowing what they are signing up for, because often if they knew before hand, they might think twice about it.

Often after the marriage has been made fully binding there eventually comes a time where one or both of the couple could possibly be faced with the sudden realisation that they did not sign up for this.

Until we can learn to love each other unconditionally, then most coupledom lives will be built solely upon personal idiosyncratic trade-offs, sacrifices and compromises that either each or the other partner might not feel they can wholly commit or adhere to, often causing tension and resentment, and feelings like they did not sign up for that..

My opinion is that until we can love each other unconditionally, then we ought to stay single. Or we could just be willing to be vulnerable and take the risks of feeling trapped and embedded within each other's mind games where emotional pain just becomes an inevitable part of the deal if conditioned love just happens to sneak in through the back door.

Fairy wrote: ↑Fri Nov 01, 2024 1:57 pm I think men and women desire to couple up or marry each other because they are conditioned to believe that that is what is expected of them.

If that were all there is to it, men would not do it.

Men do it mostly because they want a reliable supply of sex. Men generally don't give a flying fart what other people think about it. Therefore, just some societal pressure is not likely to work.

Fairy wrote: ↑Fri Nov 01, 2024 1:57 pm Many couple-up not really knowing what they are signing up for, because often if they knew before hand, they might think twice about it.

One major reason why men avoid civil marriage is exactly because they know beforehand how divorce will work out. It is one of the most important reasons why the marriage rate keeps dropping.

Fairy wrote: ↑Fri Nov 01, 2024 1:57 pm My opinion is that until we can love each other unconditionally, then we ought to stay single.

Unconditional love does not exist. Nothing would ever get done, if this were a requirement.

godelian wrote: ↑Sat Nov 02, 2024 1:43 am Unconditional love does not exist. Nothing would ever get done, if this were a requirement.

It's more about staying together as till death parts the love that you already are. It's about staying together, fully committed and consistent mutually willing to forgive and forget, to live only in the moment, the only moment that is real, through thick and thin.

I personally believe Unconditional love is possible, but it takes two to believe in the same belief.

godelian wrote: ↑Sat Nov 02, 2024 1:43 am Unconditional love does not exist. Nothing would ever get done, if this were a requirement.

When there's belief that there is a doer doing then nothing is left undone.

This love is possible, there is no requirement for possible to be possible, when it's already possible if you just believe it is.

Fairy wrote: ↑Sat Nov 02, 2024 10:41 am I personally believe Unconditional love is possible, but it takes two to believe in the same belief.

That is just one more reason why it is close to impossible. There simply are limits to being naive.

godelian wrote: ↑Sat Nov 02, 2024 11:00 am

Fairy wrote: ↑Sat Nov 02, 2024 10:41 am I personally believe Unconditional love is possible, but it takes two to believe in the same belief.

That is just one more reason why it is close to impossible. There simply are limits to being naive.

I honestly believe we can increase our limitations by overcoming our shortcomings and limitation with the power to forgive.
We all like the feeling of being loved, don't we? No man or woman is an island as they say.

Isolation works both ways...feeling separate feels like an isolation. And so too does feeling like a solipsist feel isolating.
What's the solution? .. is it Unconditional love for another?



If we can choose partners who share the same values wanting the same things.

While it maybe true that not everyone will think this way. But the proof is always in the pudding. It takes effort to maintain things, just like it takes effort to maintain a beautiful garden. Unconditional relationships are not for the faint of heart, nor are they for the lazy.

_____



For anyone really interested in maintaining success for successful relationships...


It is always better to know that your partner would rather be with you than somewhere else. But, if you know that he or she would thrive better away from you, holding them trapped to maintain your security will ultimately fail in the long run. The deepest form of love is to want what is best for each other even when that sacrifice brings potential fear of loss. The old adage, “Let something go free. If it is meant to come back, it will,” is profoundly true in successful relationships.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... 914667679b

accelafine to Fairy wrote: ↑Sat Oct 19, 2024 11:58 am Flirt with Harbal? WTF? I don't flirt with anyone on here. I leave that for the likes of you and Lacewing (when she was around). Flirting around others is such bad manners.

Oh, we wouldn't want BAD MANNERS on this forum!

Like yours in that same thread...

accelafine to godelian wrote: ↑Sun Oct 20, 2024 5:38 am What a pathetic little man you are. Shove your bs religion up your arse.

That was a while ago. It was in relation to some kind of chocolate incident that Fairy mentioned. Plus, godelian is a monster so that doesn't count. Nice to see you back anyway.

accelafine wrote: ↑Wed Apr 30, 2025 3:57 am .../... Nice to see you back anyway.

Thanks