And I agree with your decision to doubt.Obvious Leo wrote:I was groomed for the priesthood from quite a young age and am well schooled in theology. It was made unambiguously clear to me that the journey of the Christian life was to wage a continuous war against doubt. Of all the sins which lay in wait to imperil the immortality, ( and possibly the sight), of a developing young man the one which would most surely bring about my eternal damnation was DOUBT. Doubt was to be excised root and branch from the Christian mind and must never be allowed to resurface.
I doubted it.
That may surprise you, especially if your previous experience with Christianity has been primarily in a Fideistic form...and even more, if your experience, as your history above seems to suggest, was with authoritarianism.
Mine was not like that. By my parents I am told (though I cannot personally recall, of course) that my first declaration of my need to doubt was at age 4. That seems young to me, but I have no real reason not to trust their memory of the events, since they never trouble themselves to lie to me. In any case, I do know this: from a very early age -- earlier than I can recall -- I was encouraged to doubt, explore, discover and conquer doubts if I could: never was I ever asked to suppress or deny them. Consequently, I have quite a healthy respect for skepticism and critical thinking; they are key tools of faith, in my estimation. A strong faith uses them often.
But I'm sympathetic with your experience. I have heard similar stories.
I think suppressing doubt makes for weak Christians, and by adolescence, Atheists or something pretty close to that. And I think it betrays a lack of nerve on the part of the authoritarians; it means they're not really sure the kind of "faith" they are advocating is going to withstand any search into the facts. So I would not support how they treated you. Perhaps we should wish to ask the authoritarians, how can one "believe" what one is forbidden to disbelieve? How much of one's own faith is involved in bowing to the heavy voice that thunders, "Thou shalt not question!" Personally, I don't believe that's faith at all.
I'm wondering...you say "the priesthood"....Catholic? Anglican? Other?