I think I may have posted this one already.
clear skies lay overhead the san fernando valley as Andrea drove down the freeway in the little convertable volkswagen rabbit. she was on her way to the galleria, and the traffic was jammed because of rush hour. "oh my god... like why is there all this traffic," she complained as she tugged on a giant, orange hoop earring. she had driven this way almost everyday for the last five years, and still she acted surprised at the traffic jams.
Andrea sat in the middle of traffic in the 1984 rabbit and propped an elbow on the window, waiting for the traffic to start moving again. the summer heat was almost unbearable. "gawd!" she scowled impatiently, and hit the steering wheel with her right hand. "like what is the deal!"
across two lanes a truck beeped its horn and Andrea looked over. "hey baby, where'ya going," shouted the quarterback of the highschool football team, Todd, leaning out of the truck window. his two buddies in the cab were drinking beer and laughing obnoxiously. "wanna get together, Andrea? we could catch a movie."
"pfft, yeah right, Todd. I don't date jocks," she answered arrogantly, twisting a lock of her hair in her fingers. she rolled her eyes and turned the radio up to drown out Todd and his friends.
"oh come on, Andrea, you know you want me!" Todd laughed as Derrick punched him in the arm and threw an empty beer can out the window. "yeah Andrea, quit being such a bitch!," shouted Derrick across Todd. they all fell into laughter and horseplay again. "oh my god you are so gross, Todd! like, gag me with a smurf... no way!"
finally the traffic started moving and Andrea hit the gas, lurching forward. Todd beeped the horn as she sped off. "he's such a total loser," Andrea assured herself as she watched the truck fade in the rear view mirror.
"oh my god this song is so bitchin'!' Duran Duran was on the radio now, and she tapped her fingers on the wheel as she drove on, singing horribly out of key.
she pulled into the galleria parking lot and walked into the mall. after buying a milkshake from the pretzel stand she continued toward the clothing store across from the arcade.
two hours later she emerged from the store with five bags she could barely carry. she staggered through the mall to the exit, opened the door, and pushed herself and the five bags through with an audible "umph!"
"oh my god, like why are these doors so small," she complained indignantly. "i'm so sure!"
she gathered herself and stumbled clumsily into the parking lot... but before she managed to take three steps, she stepped on a big glob of melted bubble gum. Andrea looked down at her high-heel, exhaled loudly, and dropped her bags in frustration. "grody to the max!," she sighed aloud.
she finally plopped down on the curb, removed her high-heel, stood up, picked up her bags, and began trying to hop across the parking lot to her car, in a mini skirt. it was the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen, but it made perfect sense... because Andrea was a
valley girl
(Andrea played by Moon Unit Zappa)