Sthitapragya, you wrote:
A
ccording to hinduism, one's basic dharma is to focus on education and remain single till you are 25. This is the age for learning how to succeed in life. from 25 to 50, one is supposed to have a family and fulfill your duty towards procreation and propagation of the species as well as to enjoy the fruit of your learning. This is the grihastashram stage of life. from 50 to 75, one is suppose to move to the forest and introspect. One might interact with loved ones who come to visit them in the forest but leaving the forest to meet others is not done. The idea is to get used to the idea of living alone. This is the vanprasthashram. From 75 to 100, one is supposed to leave the abode and move deep into the jungle or hills and become totally isolated, giving oneself up to introspection, unlearn everything they learned about material life and instead learn about the self, letting the younger generations live their lives according to their own judgement and no interference from you.
However, one is allowed to give up the 2nd stage of family life and move to the 3rd and 4th stage of life, at any time.
No one follows this anymore and very few know about it, ironically. But this is the basic dharma of all Hindus.
This is a description and positive evaluation of old-established social customs, or what social anthropologists call ascribed status. Please consider the youth aged under 25 years who is better educated, more compassionate, less bigoted, and has wider experience of ways of life than some older person who lacks all of those . This hypothetical youth has
achieved a status to the effect that she is better able to accomplish what you describe as "to have a family and fulfill your duty towards procreation and propagation of the species as well as to enjoy the fruit of your learning" than many a 25-50 year old who is mentally or morally immature.
True, human personalities are generally believed to progress through maturation stages which coincide with chronological ages, but this is not sufficient justification for the firm rulings such as you describe above as basic dharma.When a soldier is following his dharma if he refuses to do what he considers to be a wrong action isn't this a departure from the discipline that defines a soldier? If every soldier acted on his own moral authority the army would collapse. Similarly if every individual acted according to their own rules the order in society would collapse. So what I ask you is where is dharma on a spectrum between ordinary human kindness and conforming with authority?
If harmonising with the order of nature is dharma, and this is certainly conducive to the continuation of life, how can we know what the order of nature is? Hindu philosophy and religion is man-made like all other philosophies and religions and therefore has no natural authority. If the self is to be defined as naturally autonomous then it cannot be subjected to any preconceived ideas about maturation stages or preconceptions that may be called dharma.If the self is to be defined as emergent from the formative influences of the culture of belief from which the self grew then the self , and selves, are cultural constructs.
So I ask you Sthitapragya, is a self a cultural construct or does the self arrive with a human being at a certain stage of maturation even in the hypothetical absence of all human cultural influence? Your description of basic dharma is not quite clear as to which it is.
I am happy to stand corrected about the Indian caste system.