Philosophy Now Forum

File #3: Undecided (Part 2/4)

Other Person’s Response: If you had to learn how to build something or fix something, then it’s likely you’d soon give up on trying to learn?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: Does your mother expect you to learn things?

My Reply: Not much. Also, she doesn’t expect me to do extensive research. But, sometimes, she’ll expect me to search something online, such as a music group she needs to know the name of.

Other Person’s Response: There’s one thing you’re willing to dedicate yourself to learning, and that would be how to compose music. Musical composition is the only thing you’re interested in learning, and that’s why you’re willing to read books on music theory and musical composition.

My Reply: Yes. I’m interested in producing bizarre, awesome, otherworldly, out of the ordinary compositions that astonish the audience. As a matter of fact, they’d be compositions that people might shy away from, since they’d sound demon-possessed. I’m not sure why I’m inspired to produce such a style of music. I think my inspiration perhaps came from watching anime, since anime consists of bizarre, awesome, otherworldly, out of the ordinary elements.

Other Person’s Response: So, even if you do have a difficult time understanding these books on music theory and musical composition, it’s much less likely you’d give up on trying to learn, since learning to compose is something you’re interested in?

My Reply: Yes. But, I need to feel interested in learning to be interested. If I’m unable to feel that way, then I have no interest. The only times I don’t feel interested in learning to compose would be moments where I’m miserable, tired, etc.

Other Person’s Response: Is the reason why you don’t feel up to learning other things is because you’re miserable, tired, etc.? Or, do you just have no interest in learning other things?

My Reply: I just have no interest in learning other things besides composing.

Other Person’s Response: Not only do you have no interest in learning other things, but you have no interest in growing as an individual.

My Reply: That’s right. I have no interest in becoming a more compassionate, giving person by helping humanity, living a selfless life, and making contributions to the world. I just don’t care about the opinions and unnecessary expectations of others. So, I’d help my mother if she expected my help, since that’s necessary. But, it’s not necessary for me to cater to humanity, and live an altruistic life. Neither is it necessary for me to endure hardships, pain, illness, misery, or suffering.

Other Person’s Response: There are times when it’s necessary to help others, and then there are times when it’s completely optional. For example, if your mother was ill, and she needed you to do the dishes for her because nobody else could do them, then that’s when it would be necessary for you to do them.

But, if your mother wasn’t ill, she could do the dishes herself, or she could have someone else do them, and she wanted you to do them because that shows maturity and generosity on your part, then that’s when it would be unnecessary for you to do them.

Another example of a generous deed that’s completely optional would be donating blood. You don’t have to donate blood if you don’t want to. Just because donating blood shows maturity, kindness, and generosity doesn’t mean it’s necessary for you to do so. But, if you had to donate blood to save your mother’s life, then that’s when it would be necessary.

My Reply: Exactly. I think I’m a kind, generous, mature person just the way I am, since I have a polite attitude towards others, I don’t mistreat others, I help others when it’s necessary, etc. I think that’s good enough. If anybody expects me to do certain deeds and chores when it’s unnecessary for me to do them, then that person would be a slave driver.

Other Person’s Response: If your mother was ill, other people could do the dishes, she asked them to do the dishes, but they refused, then that’s when it would be necessary for you to do the dishes.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: Another example of helping others when it’s necessary would be if you had to help your mother to earn something, such as a new video game console.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: As long you’re a kind person who continues to help his mother when needed, then that should be good enough for you to earn things, such as a new computer, a new video game console, etc. So, that means you still don’t need to do the dishes when unnecessary, and neither do you need to do other deeds when unnecessary to earn those things.

My Reply: You might be right. So, if my mother could do the dishes, then I don’t need to do them in order to earn things.

Other Person’s Response: If someone expected you to do certain deeds when unnecessary, and you chose not to do them, then that person shouldn’t frown upon you. He should appreciate you just the way you are, and he should respect your decision to not do those things.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: Another reason why you don’t want to help others is because going out of your way to help someone would raise that person’s expectations of you. He’ll expect more and more from you, and if you don’t meet his demands, he’ll frown upon you.

My Reply: Yes. That happens a lot. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen.

Other Person’s Response: I think it’s narrow-minded that you’re only interested in learning how to compose, and not interested in learning other things.

My Reply: But, at least I’d dedicate all my time and energy into honing my skills as a composer, and composing some awesome music. If I learn other things, then I’d have to dedicate some of my time and energy towards those other things.

Other Person's Response: Some people, with autism, lack interest in things. So, maybe, that's why you lack interest in learning and other things.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: I bet there are people who would call you anti-social. But, you just simply lack interest in having a conversation with people.

My Reply: Yes. I just don't care about having a conversation.

Other Person's Response: You may not talk much, but you sure do write a lot! Also, if you really do keep to yourself, then why are you preaching your worldview to other people?

My Reply: Well, these are my personal views, and, if other people don't like them, then I don't care. Like I said before, I have my rights, which means I have freedom of speech. I have the freedom to either talk about my views, or write about them. Since I don't talk much, then I wish to write everything that's on my mind and share it. Besides, writing has a major advantage because you can sit there, plan, and revise anything you've written. You also don't have to explain your views to every new person you meet, when you can just share what you've written instead.

Other Person's Response: That's why you burn all your packets on a cd, and share your cds to people you meet?

My Reply: Yes. It's important other people know about me and my personal views. I just ask they read what they can on the cd because it has a lot of material. My mother and therapist have read everything I've written, and maybe few other people would read everything, too.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I have no problem with you sharing your views. It's not like you're shoving them down anyone's throat, and demanding that people agree with your views and/or that they live by your philosophy.

My Reply: Exactly. I'm not like a Christian, forcing his religion upon someone else. All I'm doing is sharing my views. People are free to agree or disagree with them. If they disagree, then they can give their reasons why. From there, I would address their objections in this packet.

Other Person's Response: I realized you said you were incapable of many things, including deciding on controversial/debatable topics. You even say you might be incapable of producing any good, memorable compositions that express the scenes, moments, and characters you wish to express to your audience.

But, if you do manage to produce such compositions later on, then that says you were capable, and you just had to improve as a composer. The same idea applies to deciding on debatable topics. I think you just need to improve in terms of your thinking skills, your knowledge, and experience. Perhaps then you'll be able to decide on these topics. So, I don't think you're utterly incapable, and completely hopeless. I just think you need to improve.

My Reply: Hopefully, you're right. But, my interest lies in composition. I have no interest in trying to discover the truth in regards to debatable topics. As a matter of fact, I just might be utterly incapable of discovering the truth. But, even if I was capable, it's a very long journey to discover the truth, and I don't want to take that journey.

Other Person's Response: You say you're not interested in learning other subjects, and that composing is the only subject you wish to learn. When you have no interest in learning other things, your brain will be shut off from those things. Thus, your brain just won't work, and that makes it much more difficult to understand, and process information pertaining to those things. But, when it's something you love, and are interested in learning, that makes it much easier, since your brain is working.

My Reply: I think you might be right because I know it's much more difficult for me to learn something I'm not interested in learning.

Other Person’s Response: Why haven’t you produced some awesome music yet? It seems you haven’t even learned how to compose a good melody, since all your melodies I’ve listened to sound awful.

My Reply: I never really got the opportunity to dedicate my time to learning how to compose music because I’ve had many miserable struggles throughout my life. It was a cycle of one miserable struggle after another, and this whole cycle wasted many years of my life. When I’m unable to enjoy my composing hobby, I give up on it. I tried to pursue my composing dream, despite my misery. But, it didn’t work out for me. That’s why I gave up. If I had a better philosophy, then I wouldn’t have given up. But, my philosophy hasn’t changed, and I’m not sure it can ever change, no matter how hard I try to change it.

Other Person’s Response: You said you’re not able to decide on controversial/debatable topics. Yet, here you are, deciding what new computer you need.

My Reply: When it’s something that’s not controversial, I’m able to decide. I wish to have a decent computer to produce whatever music I want on it, and I can decide what computer I want for myself, since I already know the system requirements to produce music. For example, when I looked into an orchestral library of high quality, superb instruments that I considered purchasing one day, I read the system requirements for that, and I also read the system requirements of musical software (DAWs).

Other Person’s Response: It’s controversial as to whether Windows or Mac is the better operating system. But, here you are, already deciding to go with Windows as the operating system for this new computer you plan on purchasing.

My Reply: Since it’s controversial, then that means I don’t know if Windows or Mac is better. I’m just choosing to stick with Windows, since that’s the operating system I’m familiar with.

Other Person’s Response: Since you can’t decide on controversial topics, then that means you don’t know if Michael Jackson really molested children or not?

My Reply: Correct. Some people say he did, while others say he didn’t. But, I really don’t know. When any given topic is controversial, I don’t know the truth in regards to said topic, and that’s why there’s no way for me to decide if MJ molested children or not, or if it’s even likely he molested children or not. Perhaps it’s the case that everyone doesn’t know the truth in regards to controversial topics, and they just think they know the truth. I don’t know if that’s true or not.

Other Person’s Response: According to you, Michael Jackson is the only one who knows if he molested children or not, while other people don’t know, and they just think they know.

My Reply: I said it could be the case that others don’t know the truth in regards to MJ. But, yes, MJ would know if he molested children or not.

Other Person’s Response: So, you really don’t know if you should be taking vaccines or not, since it’s controversial as to whether a person should take vaccines or not. But, even though you don’t know the truth in regards to vaccines, you still have to decide whether you wish to take vaccines or not. You’ve decided to not take vaccines, and that could be an unwise decision that you’re unaware is unwise.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: When you say people might not know the truth in regards to controversial topics, you’re saying that people might not even know if it’s likely or not that vaccines are harmful, if it’s likely MJ molested children or not, etc., and they just think they know?

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person’s Response: Since you researched into controversial topics, and you can’t discover the truth in regards to these topics, then you conclude that it could be the case nobody knows the truth in regards to these topics, and they just think they know.

My Reply: Yes. That’s an idea that popped into my mind when researching and being unable to discover the truth.

Other Person’s Response: I know what you mean when you say you can’t discover the truth in regards to controversial topics. There are professionals who debate all day long, and they put forth expert arguments. That would make it impossible for any average, ignorant person to know who’s telling the truth in these debates.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: I heard you’re going to buy a new desktop computer for yourself. There are people who recommend getting a surge protector for your electronics, while others don’t recommend it. But, whether a person should or shouldn’t get a surge protector is controversial because some people say that surge protectors are a scam, they don’t protect, and that they pose some likelihood of actually damaging your equipment, while others say they’re not a scam, they work great, and that they’re safe. So, are you going to get yourself a surge protector for your new computer, even though you don’t know the truth in regards to surge protectors?

My Reply: Since I don’t know the truth, then I have to decide based on what seems like the right choice, even though I don’t know if said choice is the right one or not. I’m all too familiar with this idea of companies manufacturing products that are defective, don’t work, are a scam, etc. Even though said products do have very good ratings, that doesn’t mean said products aren’t poorly manufactured crap. So, perhaps it’s the case that people believe these surge protectors work wonders, when they don’t protect at all, and are just a waste of money. So, I’m just going to choose not to get a surge protector. I’m also not going to take vaccines because perhaps vaccines are also things that are harmful, don’t work, etc.

Other Person’s Response: There are products that really do work great, since some companies are reliable, and care about their customers.

My Reply: Yes. But, I don’t know if surge protectors and vaccines work or not. There are professionals who debate if they work or not all day long, and it’s just an ongoing debate that drags on and on. So, that puts me in a position where I just have to decide, based on my gut instincts, whether to get a surge protector and take vaccines or not.

Other Person's Response: I heard that you only drink when you're thirsty, and when you do get thirsty, you chug a liter of water, since that's the amount you need to drink in order for your thirst to be quenched. Some people say it's harmful to drink all that water at once, while others say it's not harmful. So, that means this is yet another controversial topic you're undecided on, right?

My Reply: Right. Even though I can't decide if it's harmful or not, or if it's even likely that it's harmful or not, I can decide whether I'm going to chug all that water at once or not when I'm thirsty. I've decided to do it because it seems natural, and not harmful, to drink whatever amount of fluids you need to drink in order for your thirst to be quenched, even if it's a liter in 1 minute. Also, I haven't experienced any symptoms of water intoxication. So, perhaps it's not harmful.

Other Person's Response: There are people with drinking disorders, just as how there are people with eating disorders. So, there are people who are constantly thirsty, and get more than enough fluids. I'd imagine that to be harmful.

My Reply: It is a fact that if you drink too much fluids, then that will be harmful to your body, and there are people who drink too much fluids, such as those with drinking disorders.

Other Person's Response: How many liters of fluids do you drink per day?

My Reply: Just 1 liter per day. So, I just get thirsty once per day, and when I do get thirsty, I chug 1 liter of water. Also, it's controversial as to whether a person should drink fluids when he's not thirsty in order to meet the 2-3 liter per day requirement that's recommended by some people. Some people say it's not unhealthy, while others say it's unhealthy, and that we should only drink when we're thirsty. But, I'm just going to drink when I'm thirsty.

Other Person’s Response: When it comes to practically anything, whether it be surge protectors, vaccines, medication, etc., there will be controversy about it. Since you don’t know the truth in regards to controversial topics, then it wouldn’t matter what product a person would recommend to you because, as long as it has controversy, then you won’t know if it’s a good product or not?

My Reply: Correct. As for medication, such as antidepressants, some people say they don’t work, and are harmful to one’s body and brain, while others say they work, and aren’t harmful. Some people would also argue that anyone who does get some relief from antidepressants might just be getting a placebo effect. But, even though antidepressants are controversial, I still take my antidepressant medication because I’m supposed to. I’d be treated sternly by my family and psychiatrist if I didn’t.

Other Person’s Response: Antidepressants, surge protectors, and vaccines have been put under rigorous tests to determine that they do work.

My Reply: Even so, they’re still controversial, which obviously means tests aren’t enough to convince everyone that they work. I think even the tests themselves are controversial because some people would point out flaws in these tests, while others would argue there are no such flaws.

Other Person’s Response: There are experiments that have been conducted in regards to the paranormal. Skeptics would point out flaws with these experiments, and conclude that there’s no evidence for the paranormal, while proponents of the paranormal would argue there are no such flaws, and that there’s plenty of evidence for the paranormal. Paranormal proponents would also point out flaws in the experiments that skeptics have conducted, and conclude that skeptics have no evidence that this is the one and only life there is. So, even tests and experiments are controversial.

My Reply: Yes, and it’s a debate that drags on, even to this very day. Perhaps neither the skeptics nor the paranormal proponents have any evidence for their claims, and they just think they have evidence. Again, I don’t know if that’s true or not.

Other Person’s Response: Since you’re undecided in regards to controversial topics, that means it doesn’t matter what supporting argument a person came up with to support his preference for surge protectors, vaccines, antidepressants, etc. because that argument will always be controversial.

My Reply: Yes. Any given argument will never convince me that surge protectors work, that I should be taking vaccines, or that antidepressants work because said arguments will always be controversial, which means I’ll always remain undecided.

Other Person’s Response: Even the idea that the Earth is round is controversial because there are people, known as the Flat Earth Society, who are convinced that the Earth is flat. So, does this mean you’re undecided as to whether the Earth is round or flat?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: I’m just curious, did you even do any research in regards to controversial topics to try to discover the truth?

My Reply: Yes, and I still remained undecided. If there is truth to be discovered in regards to these topics, then I’d have to dedicate my life to doing research, so that I arrive at the truth as to whether or not I should be taking vaccines, whether or not I should get a surge protector, etc. Apparently, doing a few hours or a few days of research just isn’t going to cut it because that’s the amount of research I conducted in regards to a few controversial topics, and I still remained undecided in regards to these topics.

Trying to discover the truth buried in an ongoing debate of professionals is no easy task, and I’d have to conduct the full amount of research necessary to discover the truth. It’s just too long of a journey that I’m not willing to take. Not to mention, I don’t understand many things these professionals explain during debates on online forums, since I don’t have the necessary expertise to understand these things. Since I’m unwilling to conduct the full amount of research, then I just have to make a decision in regards to controversial topics that’s based on my gut instincts.

Other Person’s Response: When you conduct research, not only must you read up on material that teaches you about vaccines, surge protectors, etc., but you must read through the debates people have all over the internet. That’s what’s needed for you to come to the right conclusion as to whether surge protectors work or not, if vaccines are harmful or not, etc. If you were to come to a conclusion based on material you’ve learned, but without reading into any of the debates, then your conclusion would be closed-minded. You’d just be jumping to a conclusion. So, that’s why you also need to read through all the debates before coming to a conclusion.

My Reply: Yes, and dedicating my whole life to this is too much. I’m not willing to do that. For example, I’m not willing to learn everything I need to learn in order to have the level of knowledge that a professional electrician would have. That’s the level of knowledge I’d need to not only understand the technical debates of professionals who are supportive of or against surge protectors, but to discover the truth in regards to surge protectors. As a matter of fact, I’d require a professional level of knowledge when it comes to any given controversial topic, and I’m not willing to acquire all that knowledge.

Other Person’s Response: There’s a lot of debate on the internet in regards to any given controversial topic. It would be a long term goal just to read through all the debate in regards to a single controversial topic.

My Reply: Yes, and I’m not willing to do that.

Other Person’s Response: If you wish to discover the truth as to whether the paranormal (ghosts, afterlife, telepathy, etc.) is likely to exist or not, then not only must you conduct full research into both the skeptical field and the paranormal field, but you must read through all debates skeptics and paranormal proponents have.

My Reply: That’s correct. Skeptics have expertise in their field, while paranormal researchers have expertise in their field. But, in order for me to discover who’s telling the truth, I’d need to have full expertise in both fields, and I’d need to read through all the debates as well. If I draw the conclusion that the paranormal isn’t real, just based upon the skeptical research I’ve conducted, then my conclusion would be closed-minded because I haven’t conducted full research in regards to the paranormal. So, that’s why I’d need to conduct full research into both the skeptical field and the paranormal field. Even though the afterlife does interest me, since I’d really want there to be the eternal, blissful, heavenly afterlife of my dreams, I’m just not interested in dedicating my life to conducting all this research.

Other Person’s Response: Even if you conducted full research into both fields, and even if you did read through all the debates, it’s quite possible you’d still remain undecided as to whether the paranormal is likely to exist or not because, as you said earlier, it might be the case that the truth is unknown, and people just think they know the truth in regards to controversial topics.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person’s Response: I don’t think you have to dedicate your entire life to doing research in order to discover the truth. You just need to conduct a bit more research than what you’ve already conducted.

My Reply: I give up on conducting further research because I think it’s futile. I don’t think I’ll discover the truth anytime soon, if ever.

Other Person’s Response: Do you think it’s just a waste of time and effort to do any research in regards to controversial topics?

My Reply: Yes. It won’t get me anywhere.

Other Person’s Response: You’ve, at least, taken the 1st step towards making a wise decision by doing a little bit of research and being concerned as to whether you should get a surge protector or not, whether you should take vaccines or not, etc. But, it seems you’re only willing to take that 1st step, and you’re not willing to go all the way. Thus, you’re making dumb decisions that are based on your gut instincts.

My Reply: That’s just the way it’s going to be then.

Other Person’s Response: If you had to get a surge protector and take vaccines by law, then you’d be forced to do so. You’re too dumb to make wise decisions on your own, and that’s why it would be best if the law decided for you.

My Reply: Another way I’d be forced to do so would be if I lived with a strict family that vehemently expected me to do so. But, I don’t live with such a family. So, that means I’m free to choose whether to get a surge protector and take vaccines or not. Like I said, I’ve chosen not to, and my family is completely accepting of my decision. They’re not upset or angry one bit. As a matter of fact, my family doesn’t take vaccines or use surge protectors.

Other Person’s Response: There are some wise decisions that you do make in your life, such as choosing to eat healthy, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, not do drugs or alcohol, and drink enough water.

My Reply: Yes. Now, I’m not dedicated to fitness, which is why I don’t run, jog, or lift weights. I don’t need to train for anything, such as a fighting match or an athletic event, since fighting and athletics aren’t my passion. My passion is composing music. But, I do a brisk walk for an hour approximately 3 times per week because I need to keep my circulation going. I might die from a heart attack if I didn’t exercise. Also, I’m in good, physical health, which means I don’t have a medical illness that could potentially kill me.

Other Person’s Response: It’s not controversial as to whether living an unhealthy lifestyle of doing drugs, eating junk food, not exercising, not getting enough sleep, etc. will pose a health risk or not. We know for a fact that it does pose a risk of cancer, heart attacks, etc.

My Reply: Yes. So, the only truths I know are facts. I don’t know the truth when it comes to controversial topics.

Other Person’s Response: But, you don’t know many facts because you don’t learn things.

My Reply: Correct. I don’t have interest in learning things.

Other Person’s Response: It could be the case that the only truths that can be known are facts, and that the truth can never be known in regards to controversial topics.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person’s Response: You play video games, which means there are plenty of facts you know about these games. For example, you know how to defeat bosses in Zelda games, you know where items and collectables are, etc.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: When it comes to surge protectors, some people say they don’t protect, and instead recommend another product as a replacement for a surge protector, such as a voltage regulator. But, then there are some people who say that surge protectors do work, and that voltage regulators don’t work.

My Reply: Yes, and some people say that both surge protectors and voltage regulators are a scam, and don’t work.

Other Person’s Response: There are products that have many good ratings and comments. But, that doesn’t mean they’re actually good, working products.

My Reply: Yes. Now, I purchased some rings, which are claimed to stop and reverse aging. They’re called Immortality Rings, and Alex Chiu is the maker of them. They only costed $60, and I was willing to try them because I wish to live the longest, happiest life I can live. There are many testimonies of people who claim these rings work on Alex’s website, and these rings have been given many good ratings. But, that doesn’t mean these rings actually work. The same idea applies to other products, such as surge protectors.

Other Person’s Response: Those immortality rings work by means of magnetic therapy. But, magnetic therapy is very controversial, which means you’re undecided as to whether these rings work or not.

My Reply: Correct. So, I’ll just wear them every night as instructed, and hope they stop and reverse my aging.

Other Person’s Response: Are you sure there’s not a single controversial topic that you’re able to decide on?

My Reply: There was a time where there was a small, black, dead insect on the floor. Some people at my house said it was a small roach, while others said it was a water beetle. So, there was some controversy as to whether it was a roach or a water beetle. But, I knew it was a roach because I know what a roach looks like. I can tell the difference between a roach and a water beetle.

Other Person’s Response: Actually, that insect scenario shouldn’t have been controversial at all because all a person needs to do is search for an online image of a water beetle and a roach, and compare that image to what the insect in your house looks like. That person would just need to closely examine that insect in order to come to the right conclusion as to whether it’s a small roach or a water beetle.

My Reply: Right.

Other Person’s Response: Does your mother decide on controversial topics?

My Reply: Yes. That’s why she has decided that hell is real, and that the wicked go there. She has also decided that the paranormal is real, and that people curse her (give her bad luck). Even my younger brother decides on controversial topics. But, perhaps their decisions are biased and closed-minded. In other words, perhaps they’re just jumping to conclusions. If a person makes any decision in regards to a controversial topic, then perhaps he’s just being biased and closed-minded. Even arriving at the conclusion that people don’t know the truth in regards to controversial topics might be biased and closed-minded.

Other Person’s Response: That means you shouldn’t decide that your philosophy of emotions is true, since even your own philosophy is controversial. There will be people who will argue for and against emotions being perceptions of beauty, horror, etc.

My Reply: You’re right. Perhaps it’s the case that emotions aren’t perceptions of beauty, horror, etc., and I’m just allowing my emotions to dominate my perception. I really don’t know.

Other Person’s Response: You should also remain undecided in regards to your claim of naturally creating awesome, profound, powerful, catchy, memorable melodies in your mind.

My Reply: You’re right. They could just be meaningless, rubbish melodies, such as random melodies that a baby would play on an instrument. I don’t know.

Other Person's Response: Are fatal viruses and bacteria rare in the United States?

My Reply: I think so. I looked up fatal viruses on google, and it said they’re extremely rare in the United States (which is where I live). Even though other viral and bacterial infections are common in the U.S., such as the flu and pneumonia, I don't think they kill too many people, when you take into consideration the entire U.S. population. That means only a very small percentage of the U.S. population die from these infections, and has serious medical problems as a result of them. That means I don't have to really worry about taking vaccines. Especially if these immortality rings work to keep me young and healthy.

Other Person’s Response: There’s a fatal virus known as “malaria.” Did you search that on google?

My Reply: I did a google search on that, and it’s also rare in the U.S. I don’t think I really have to worry about taking vaccines because fatalities and serious medical complications from viral and bacterial infections are rare in the U.S.

Other Person's Response: Is it debated as to whether a very small percentage do die, and have serious medical problems from these infections?

My Reply: I don't know. Hopefully, it's not debated, and it’s a fact that it's just a small percentage. The same idea applies to fatal viruses being extremely rare in the U.S. I hope that's a fact as well.

Other Person’s Response: If a person isn’t in good health, then he has a much greater likelihood of dying or having serious medical complications as a result of a bacterial or viral infection.

My Reply: Yes. But, I’m in good health.

Other Person's Response: If you were infected, and said infection was an ongoing issue for you that your body didn't seem to fight off, would you take vaccines then?

My Reply: Yes. If it was a bacterial infection, I could just take antibiotics. But, if it was a viral infection that I can't seem to fight off, then I'd have to take a vaccine for it. I think my immune system is healthy, since I live a healthy lifestyle. So, I might never be in a situation where my immune system would have a difficult time fighting off an infection. Except, when I'm older because, as you get older, your immune system weakens. But, as long as I wear these immortality rings, I might not have to worry about that because I might remain young, and my immune system might remain healthy.

Other Person's Response: I take it your immune system is healthy now, since your body doesn't have a difficult time fighting off infections. But, even if your body does have a difficult time fighting off infections when you're elderly, I don't think you need to take a vaccine because, like you said earlier, very few people in the U.S. die from these infections, and have serious medical problems from them.

My Reply: You're right.

Other Person's Response: If you're right about this idea that no truth is known when it comes to debatable topics, and that the only real known truths are those, such as non-debatable, scientific facts, then other people should have no reason to frown upon you for not taking vaccines. After all, we wouldn't know the truth anyway as to whether vaccines should be taken or not. So, it would just all come down to the person's personal preference as to whether he should take them or not.

My Reply: Exactly. Even though non-debatable, scientific facts can't be 100% true, since the closest you can get to the truth is 99.9%, we can still guarantee they're true. But, when it comes to debatable topics, we might not actually know the likelihood of a certain claim. For example, we might not know if vaccines are likely to be harmful, or if they're likely to be beneficial, and should be taken or not. People just might be thinking they know the answer when it comes to these debatable topics, when they really don't.

Other Person’s Response: I heard that you don’t do puzzles, riddles, etc. for a living, and that’s why you’re no good at them. There are so many things you’re not good at.

My Reply: Correct. If you were to have me perform a task, chances are, I’d fail that task. Of course, I can do simple tasks just fine. I can take a shower, brush my teeth, take out the trash, etc. But, I fail at more demanding tasks that require knowledge and experience. Also, when someone expects me to do a more demanding deed or task, I have no clue what I’m supposed to be doing, which is why that person has to explain exactly what I’m supposed to do, since I don’t have the necessary knowledge and experience to figure it all out on my own. I also have a bad memory, which is why I tend to forget things. So, I might forget the steps I was instructed to take when doing a certain deed or task.

Other Person’s Response: Are there tasks you know how to do, but still fail them?

My Reply: Yes. For example, when my mother expects me to text something for her while she’s driving, I end up hitting the wrong keys, since the car is moving, which makes it difficult for me to hit the right keys on the screen. Other people can easily text while in a moving vehicle. But, I’m unable to.

Other Person’s Response: Do you mow the yard?

My Reply: No, since I’m no good at that either. I remembered my grandma expected me to mow the yard once. That was many years ago. But, when I was mowing, I couldn’t tell the difference between the areas I’ve already mowed, and the areas I was supposed to mow. The areas I’ve mowed had shorter grass, and the areas I was supposed to mow had longer grass. But, I couldn’t see the difference in grass length. To me, it all looked the same. I’m no good at assessing the grass length, and I’d also make other mistakes when mowing. So, someone has to mow the yard for me. I don’t think the reason why my mother has someone else mow for me is because I’m no good at it. I think it’s because it’s something she doesn’t expect from me. But, this summer, she does expect me to mow yards to earn the money we need. I can only do my best. Hopefully, with practice, I can get good at mowing.

Other Person’s Response: I realize you’re unable to do many things. But, can you pick up on the beat of a song?

My Reply: Other people can naturally pick up on the beat of a song with ease. But, for whatever reason, I can’t do that. So, I can only enjoy the music I love, and feel profound emotions from it. But, I wouldn’t be able to tap to the beat. I also can’t tell the difference between a good singer and a bad singer. But, if a singer was extremely bad at singing, then I’d be able to tell the difference between that singer and a good one. For example, if someone sung a song, and it literally sounded like the worst, atrocious mess in the world, then anyone, including me, could tell the difference between that singer and a good one.

Other Person's Response: I think you're unable to pick up on the beat of a song because you're just an ignorant person. You don't know how to do it.

My Reply: Isn't it supposed to be a natural ability that doesn't need to be taught? Also, I might be able to pick up on the beat of some songs. I'm not sure.

Other Person’s Response: When you read articles on the internet, are you able to understand them?

My Reply: First of all, the only times I read articles are when I need to. For example, many people don’t recommend that you purchase prebuilt desktop computers because they’re poorly and carelessly manufactured. Many people instead recommend building your own computer. There are articles that talk about this, and I needed to read some of these articles because I was considering getting a new desktop computer.

But, when reading an article, there are some things I easily understand, while other things I don’t get at all. Any normal person would be able to read an article and easily understand the whole thing from start to finish. But, my mind has a very difficult time understanding many things, and I think that’s because I lack the necessary knowledge and experience to understand those things. I also think it’s because I’m just poor at understanding things.

As for things I’m capable of understanding, I might sometimes have to read those things over and over again until I finally understand. That even applies to instructions. There are some instructions I can easily understand right off the bat, there are some I don’t get at all, no matter how many times I read or listen to them, while there are some I don’t understand at first, but do understand once I read or listen to them a certain amount of times.

File #3: Undecided (Part 3/4)

Other Person’s Response: I heard that you’ve considered building your own computer, since it might be the better, cheaper alternative, but don’t want to because you’re afraid you’ll make a mistake during the building process that could harm your built computer in the short term or long term.

My Reply: Correct. Even if was learning how to do it, I might misinterpret some instructions, since I’ve been known to misinterpret things a lot, I might not understand some instructions, no matter how many times I read or listen to them, and I’m not a professional builder, which means I might make mistakes. You must also test your built computer, and that takes some technical knowledge, since you need to analyze all the technical information that’s being presented to you during a benchmark test to know if your built computer is functioning properly, and won’t have potential problems. If I went for the building and testing alternative, I might have to send all the components I ordered from amazon to a professional, so he/she can properly build and test the computer.

Other Person’s Response: When it comes to understanding things, do you have a difficult time understanding non-technical things, such as personal matters? For example, if someone was explaining to you his tragic or financial predicament, would there be many things you’d have a difficult time understanding?

My Reply: Yes. My mind would just draw a complete blank on many things this person is explaining to me. So, that person would basically be talking to a brick wall, and I wouldn’t be able to offer any solutions. Even if I did fully understand that person’s predicament, I don’t have the necessary knowledge and experience to offer any solutions anyway. But, if a young child explained a very simple predicament he was in, then I’d be able to understand that child, and offer a solution. So, if a child said to me: “Eating all this sugar is rotting my teeth, and I don’t know what to do,” then I’d say to that child to stop eating all those sweets and keep his teeth healthy by brushing them.

Other Person’s Response: If someone explained to you a very simple, straightforward, easy-to-understand, tragic or financial predicament he was in, you’d be able to understand it and offer a solution, right?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: Does it take a while for your brain to register information that’s been said or presented to you?

My Reply: Yes. Like I said, I sometimes have to read or listen to something over and over again to finally get it. Also, there was a time where my mother pointed out to me frozen food that was sitting on the floor. I just stood there, staring at it. It didn’t register in my mind yet that I was supposed to put that food in the freezer.

My mother soon told me that I was supposed to put it in the freezer. Another thing is that it’s often the case that nonsensical thoughts and solutions immediately pop into my mind when I’m doing certain things, and it takes a few seconds for my brain to realize that said thoughts and solutions make no sense.

So, I might do something, think something, or say something that makes no sense, only to soon realize that it makes no sense. For example, there was a time where my mother told me to take something outside. I immediately thought that a certain object, that doesn’t need to be taken outside, should’ve been taken outside. I soon realized that it made no sense for that object to be taken outside.

Other Person’s Response: Some of the things you say in your packets make no sense. Did you type those things without even thinking?

My Reply: I put thought into it. But, if the things I say still make no sense, then I just lack the necessary knowledge and experience to explain things that are rational, and make sense. Some things I explain are rational, and do make sense though.

Other Person’s Response: When your mother dies, how are you going to take care of the house? It seems you’re utterly incapable of doing so.

My Reply: She did talk to me about this. She told me the things I’m supposed to do when she dies, and I told her I don’t have a good memory, that I have a difficult time understanding things, and that I know nothing. She told me not to worry, and that I’ll make it on my own. She said she’ll have someone there to pay bills for me, and help me with other things. I could also ask my younger brother for help, since he has more knowledge and experience than me.

Other Person’s Response: Is your mother in good health? If so, she’ll get to live a full life, and you won’t have to worry about her dying anytime soon.

My Reply: She has heart disease, and she takes medication for it. But, when she gets a viral or bacterial infection, such as the cold or flu, she could die from that because it causes inflammation throughout her body. Sometimes, she goes to the emergency room to get an epipen. She’s 55 years old, since she was born in 9/24/64. I hope she gets to live a full life of 80-90 years. I heard there might be something in 10 years that not only cures and reverses aging when you take it, but cures diseases you have. I hope that’s true. I’d get that cure for myself and my mother.

Other Person’s Response: I heard your mother doesn’t take vaccines. She should because colds and flus might kill her.

My Reply: She said that the reason why she doesn’t take vaccines is because they cause her to swell up.

Other Person's Response: Not only are you no good at intellectual tasks, but you also fail when it comes to intellectual based values.

My Reply: Correct. If such values do exist, then I'm incapable of them. My values are purely emotional based.

Other Person's Response: If someone decided for you as to whether vaccines are harmful or not, or whether there's an afterlife, would you know?

My Reply: No, I wouldn't. This is because it's a debate, and I can't decide on debates. Each person has their own decision, and I don't know whether their decision is the truth or not.

Other Person's Response: I heard you can't decide on debatable topics. I think you just need to man up, and make a decision already!

My Reply: How can I decide on something, when I don't know the truth? It's like someone asking me to be convinced of something I'm not convinced of.

Other Person's Response: Do you, and your mother, take vaccines?

My Reply: No. She doesn't take them because she thinks they're harmful, and I don't take them because I don't know if they're harmful or not.

Other Person's Response: I think I know why you're not giving up on your composing dream, and it's because you believe you're creating awesome music in your head that the world doesn't realize is awesome yet. You think you have a natural talent other people don't realize yet.

My Reply: Correct. Now, if I discover, later on, I never had this talent, and my mentally inspired music was rubbish all along, that's when I'll consider giving up because I'd realize I was never any good at making music. I'll do whatever I can to create the good music I want to create though. But, I'll give up if I'm just no good at it.

Other Person's Response: It all makes sense to me. When you think you already have an ability (in your case, a musical talent), you don't give up. But, when you don't have an ability, you tend to give up.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: It would be lovely if you were born as a person who was good at everything. That way, you wouldn't have to go through all this frustration, and wanting to give up.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: I bet, if you lived with a mother who demanded that you do those tasks you give up on, you'd be doing them, and wouldn't be giving up on them.

My Reply: Yes. That's because I'd be given harsh treatment if I don't meet her expectations. But, I don't live with such a mother. I live with a mother who doesn't expect much from me.

Other Person's Response: If you lived with a mother who expected a lot from you, then would you be finding yourself asking her to lower her standards, and not have such expectations of you?

My Reply: I think I would. Hopefully, it would work out in my favor. If not, then I guess I'd have to obey her, and meet her expectations. Actually, I'm not sure. Perhaps I'd rebel, and not meet her expectations. I might just carry on with my usual life, all the while ignoring her demands.

Other Person's Response: If you could get the things you wanted when meeting her expectations, then wouldn't you meet her expectations?

My Reply: I think so. But, it would have to be things I want very much. If it's just a trivial item I didn't want that much, then I wouldn't meet her expectations.

Other Person's Response: When your mother has the money, has she been known to buy you fancy things, without expecting much from you?

My Reply: Yes. But, if I lived with my grandma, she'd be expecting a lot from me, since she's a slave driver. However, she doesn't care about things, such as doing research to try to discover the truth, and she's never been known to do that. So, she wouldn't expect that from me. But, she'd expect things from me, such as doing yard work for her, and other chores. I'm not sure if she'd expect me to drive a car though.

Other Person's Response: I take it your grandma isn't very smart, since she doesn't do research.

My Reply: That's correct. My mother also isn't very smart. Actually, my mom and grandma might do a little bit of research into something. But, it would only be the amount of research any normal person would do, such as going on the internet, quickly looking something up, and that's it. My mom and grandma don't get seriously involved in research. So, they don't have a passion for doing research, and neither do I. When I do research, I research like any normal person, too.

Other Person's Response: Since you’re not very intelligent, then you're someone who'd get a very poor IQ score?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I don't think you should give up on your composing dream.

My Reply: When American Idol singers thought their singing was great, just to find out how awful their singing was, the judges sometimes tell them they don't have what it takes, and to not even bother trying to improve. That's their way of saying they should just give up. I'm not sure if I'm like one of those awful singers. I don't wish to sing. The point I'm trying to make is that I might be making awful music, and I might be better off giving up.

Other Person's Response: Is there another reason why you don't drive?

My Reply: Yes. I have no control over my emotions, and I'd be quite frantic if I was driving out on the road. Another thing is that I'm a special needs person. I can do things, such as going inside a store, and getting certain items. But, I can't do things, such as driving a vehicle, or other such demanding tasks.

Other Person's Response: When driving a vehicle, you have to accurately assess the distance other vehicles are from you when you take off. That way, you won't get in a wreck.

My Reply: I won't be any good at that either. I'd definitely find myself in a wreck.

Other Person's Response: Do you get out of the house?

My Reply: Yes. I go to the gym and walk on the treadmill. I also ride with my mother to different places.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, I think you're convinced there's more positivity to life than positive emotions, but don't want to try to improve your life.

My Reply: I'm not convinced there's more positivity to life than positive emotions, and I'm just no good at living my life by greater values. But, like I said, I'll try to improve if I ever lose my positive emotions, and can't sufficiently or fully regain them.

Other Person's Response: I thought you only wanted to give up on your composing dream when there are negative emotions, compelling you to give up.

My Reply: If I fully craft my music later on, and learn that it was rubbish, I wouldn't feel any negative emotions from that in my fully recovered state. Instead, I might not care anymore, and just give up that way. Actually, I'm not sure how I'd feel if I learn my fully crafted music was rubbish. Who knows, I might still feel like not giving up just yet.

Other Person's Response: I heard you say in your composing packet that you don't praise lame music, and that you praise good, catchy music. How do you know which music is lame, and which music is good and catchy?

My Reply: I just go by my own personal taste. I'm not saying it's a fact that music I judge to be lame is actually lame music. I could be wrong. This is the difference between truth and opinion. I could make all the opinions I want, such as that the color red is a more meaningful color than all other colors. But, it's an entirely different matter when it comes to truth.

In regards to the tunes I've created in my mind, I'd just be putting forth an opinion that they're great and catchy. But, that doesn't make it true. So, all I'm doing is sharing my personal views, and opinions, in my composing packet. In a way, it would be like a person, sharing his personal views and opinions, in his journal.

Other Person's Response: Any composition you make could be great from your perspective. But, you're saying you want to create compositions that are actually great for other listeners, right?

My Reply: Yes. Just because I think my compositions would be great for other listeners doesn't make it so. Even if the melodies in my mind, that I think are great, were accurately transcribed, they might still be rubbish for other listeners. Or, they could just be mediocre melodies.

Other Person's Response: It's such a shame that you opt out on knowledge and experience because you'd know the right choices to make in your life, rather than just going by your gut instincts. You'd be an intelligent, experienced individual in many areas of life, and that would also make you an honorable member on forums, and in communities.

My Reply: I just have no interest in these sorts of things. Sorry. I think it's something completely optional. You don't have to learn things if you don't want to, just as how a person doesn't have to learn neuroscience if he doesn't want to. Different people will have different interests, and that's just a fact of life.

Some people are interested in living as nothing more than ignorant, hedonistic video game players, while others are out learning much about the world. Even if I did have much knowledge and experience, it's still quite possible I wouldn't be able to decide on debates regarding the afterlife, paranormal, or vaccines being harmful.

This is because it might be like a debate where one side debates the color red being the better color, and the other side debates blue being the better color. It's just a debate that won't get anywhere because both sides of the debate are doing nothing more than putting up their own personal views to debate. There's no real truth to be discovered through these debates; just people arguing back and forth.

That means whether there really is an afterlife or not, or whether vaccines really are harmful, and cause autism or not, might be something we will never know the truth to. People claim they know the truth regarding these topics. But, perhaps they just think they know the truth, when they really don't. After all, if there was any real truth to be discovered in these topics, there'd be no debate about it in the first place.

For example, we all know we'll die if our hearts fail, or if they were to get taken out. We also know for a fact that we're made up of atoms, and that there are micro organisms, known as viruses and bacteria. There's no debate about that, which means it's a definite truth. But, it's a different scenario when it comes to the afterlife and vaccines because these sorts of topics have researchers debating all the time with other scientists, and researchers.

Given this, there might be no real truth to be discovered in these topics, and people are just arguing back and forth. The idea of life after death has been an ongoing debate for hundreds of years. The very fact it has been debated for so long must mean we really don't know whether there's an afterlife or not, or if it's likely to exist or not. That's just my two cents on this. I could be wrong. But, I really don't know.

Other Person's Response: I'm going to quote something you said and respond to it:

Plenty of topics have people debating and arguing about them. An example would be whether vaccines are harmful, and cause autism or not, or whether the soul, paranormal, and afterlife really do exist or not. People claim they know the truth regarding these topics. But, perhaps they just think they know the truth, when they really don't. After all, if there was any real truth to be discovered in these topics, there'd be no debate about it in the first place.

What you are propounding is the ultimate, idiotic transmogrification of democracy: All opinions are equal, and as long as one side doesn't shut up, the other side hasn't proved its point. Or, to put it another way: "Until absolutely everyone agrees, nothing is really known." As a variant: "If we don't know EVERYTHING, then we don't know ANYTHING."

That's a very convenient doctrine, seized on by people like GW Bush and Trump, when they want to deny what scientists know about climate change. But, they're willing to ignore it when deciding whether to go to war in Iraq, and kill 100,000 people, or to believe Putin's version of the 2016 campaign. In those cases, no evidence at all is needed.

My Reply: I'll just have to remain in a position of complete ignorance, since I really don't know the truth. So, that means I don’t know if this doctrine is true or not.

Other Person's Response: When people are debating and arguing in regards to a certain topic, do you think each side of the debate is putting up arguments of equal status? In other words, do you think both sides are making good, intelligent arguments?

My Reply: Yes. If one side really is making dumb arguments, then I don't have the knowledge and life experience necessary to see that. Whatever argument one side makes, I see the counter argument the other side makes as also being an intelligent argument. So, from my perspective, it would be an ongoing, intelligent debate. If both sides really are making intelligent arguments, then we might not know if one side of the debate is correct, or if the other side is correct. They're both on equal footing. So, it would be like a stalemate.

Other Person's Response: In regards to debatable topics, it could be the case we don't know if any side of the debate has any evidence, and both sides think they know they have evidence, when they really don't know.

My Reply: Yes, that could be.

Other Person's Response: Shouldn't you remain undecided as to whether you can discover the truth, and whether it really would require a ton of research to do so?

My Reply: Yes. But, I've already conducted research on some topics, such as the afterlife, and I still remain undecided. So, it might require a ton of research, or even a life's dedication worth of research, in order for me to discover the truth. That is, if I could discover the truth.

Other Person's Response: I think you might be right. It would require you to be a professional thinker in order to discover the truth. To be a professional sometimes requires one to dedicate his life to something. For example, if you wish to be a professional tennis player, or a professional graphic designer, that requires a life's dedication worth of training and research.

My Reply: Yes. But, I don't want to be a professional thinker. Not only would I have to be a professional thinker, but I'd have to be very knowledgeable in the subjects I wish to discover the truth in. Like I said, I don't want to do that either.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me a link to a website that gives an example of spiritual believers debating with skeptics?

My Reply: Sure. This website is called "Skeptiko," and Alex debates with skeptics who come on the show. Not everyone there are skeptics. Some are believers Alex chats with. Anyway, here's the link:

https://skeptiko.com/

Other Person's Response: If someone built the perfectly rational-thinking, all-knowing robot in the future, what conclusion would that robot reach in regards to debatable topics?

My Reply: I'm not sure. Who knows, the conclusion the robot reaches could be that people think they know the truth when it comes to debatable topics, when we really don't know the truth.

Other Person's Response: The problem when it comes to controversial topics is that people have expertise in one field, while another set of people have expertise in another field. For example, paranormal researchers have much knowledge and experience in their field, while skeptics have much knowledge and experience in their field, and there's much disagreement between the two sides.

One side lacks the knowledge and experience the other side has, and perhaps this results in both sides jumping to their own closed-minded conclusions. But, if that all-knowing robot was built in the future, who could make no thinking errors, then this would be a robot who has full knowledge in all fields, and would come to the right conclusion as to whether it's likely the afterlife exists or not, if vaccines are harmful or not, etc.

My Reply: Yes. I think that would be interesting if it did happen in the future.

Other Person's Response: If an all-knowing robot was built, then it would know if the afterlife is likely to exist or not. It wouldn't say people think they know, when we really don't know.

My Reply: But, when I say an all-knowing robot, I just mean a robot that has all knowledge downloaded into it. Based upon all that knowledge, the robot might arrive at the truth that people think they know the afterlife is likely or unlikely to exist, when we really don't know. This would be the truth the robot has arrived, based upon all that knowledge within him. As to whether the afterlife exists or not, or is likely to exist or not, is something the robot wouldn't know. So, the robot is only all-knowing in terms of all knowledge downloaded into him. But, he wouldn't actually know if the afterlife exists or not.

Other Person's Response: If there was a way to download all knowledge into your brain in the future, then you'd definitely need that, since you're a very dumb person.

My Reply: Yes. That would certainly save me all the time and effort of having to educate myself.

Other Person's Response: Many people have biases, and are conditioned to believe certain things. So, perhaps you're right when you say that we don't know the truth in regards to debatable topics.

My Reply: Yes. So, skeptics believe there's no supernatural, and this is the only life there is, since they might've been conditioned to believe so, and they have this bias. The same thing applies to paranormal believers. But, again, I, myself, don't believe in this idea that people think they know the truth when they really don't. I'm simply in a position of complete ignorance.

Other Person's Response: You may not be capable of certain tasks. But, do you, at least, cook food on the stove?

My Reply: No. My mother cooks on the stove. I cook food in the microwave, since that's a simple, straightforward task, as opposed to following a lot of instructions when cooking food on the stove, or in the stove, which is a more complicated task. Besides, I don't think my mother wants me cooking food on, or in, the stove. Also, I never asked her if I could learn how to do so, since I'm just fine with cooking food in the microwave. I never had any interest, or desire, to cook food using the stove anyway.

Other Person's Response: Can you fix things?

My Reply: No. I'm just no good at it. So, I ask others to fix things if I need them fixed. My younger brother, whose name is Jerrell, knows how to fix things. He even offers solutions for my mothers financial predicaments, which is something I can't do, since I'm not smart enough. I don't know anything about these sorts of things.

Other Person's Response: When your mother dies, how are you going to pay the bills, given that you don't know how to do this?

My Reply: I heard her say she'd have someone do that for me. I mean, if it was really necessary that I learned to pay the bills myself, then my mother would be telling me, and urging me, that I need to learn how to do that. Since she's not, then I can only gather it's not all that important that I learn how to do this. I don't learn how to do things myself when it's unnecessary, since I have no interest, and some things I'm just incapable of doing. But, if it's something my mother needed me to do, then I'd do it. As for cooking food using the stove, someone else is going to do that for me as well.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you're the type of person who wouldn't do things that you'd deem as unnecessary, such as doing the dishes when your mother can do them, cooking on the stove when your mother can do it, etc.

My Reply: Yes. My mother does all the chores, such as cleaning the dishes, and washing clothes. She'd be a slave-driving mother if she expected me to do things that I don't really need to do. She even told me that herself, which is why she lets me do my hobbies without expecting me to do unnecessary chores. But, I do need to clean my room when it's a mess, since that's necessary, and I do need to help my mother with certain things, such as taking out the trash, helping her read things she can't read, or moving totes.

My grandma, on the other hand, puts me to work, and expects me to do things for her that she can do herself. That's another reason why my mother hates grandma, since she's a slave-driver. I personally don't feel hate or anger being slave-driven. It's just that I'm not interested in going out of my way to help others, and doing certain tasks I don't have to do. I also give up on tasks that I'm just no good at, as I mentioned earlier. If there was a task I had to do, but was no good at it, I’d keep on trying. But, I wouldn’t be able to promise that I’d succeed.

Other Person's Response: If any given person was a slave-driver, forcing you to do unnecessary things and chores, then that person would be lacking appreciation of you.

My Reply: Yes. That person would be expecting more from me, and wouldn't be accepting and appreciating me. If I don't meet that person's standard, then I'd be deemed as someone of no value or worth. But, like I said before, there are qualities about me worth appreciating, even if I didn't meet this person's standard.

Other Person's Response: It seems you have a wild, hedonistic spirit that wishes to roam free.

My Reply: Yes. I wish to be happy, enjoy my life, not have any unhappiness, and be free of unnecessary responsibilities.

Other Person's Response: Not only do you give up on trying to become a better, stronger person with a better philosophy, but you also give up on trying to become an intelligent person.

My Reply: Yes. I might as well remain dumb, considering that I'm incapable of ever becoming an intelligent person who's able to decide on debatable topics. I also might as well remain a hedonist my whole life, considering that I'll never develop a better philosophy. In addition, I might as well give up on my composing dream, considering I'll never achieve my goal of creating awesome, memorable melodies that express the scenes, moments, characters, etc. I wish to express to the audience.

Other Person's Response: You're already deciding that this is all you'll ever amount to as a person. What if you're wrong?

My Reply: I could be wrong. But, I have doubts.

Other Person's Response: You may be dumb. But, at least you make wise decisions, such as not smoking, exercising, eating healthy, and not doing drugs.

My Reply: Yes. I don't know if I'm making an unwise decision when I choose to not take vaccines. But, if my choice to not take vaccines is unwise, then I might as well be a risk to myself and others, given that I'm just incapable of ever discovering the truth as to whether I should, or should not be taking vaccines. I'm, apparently, incapable of thinking for myself.

So, I might as well give up on trying to think for myself. I can obviously think for myself when I make certain decisions, such as if it would be better if I purchased a certain item first, and another later on, or if I should go to college or not. But, I'm incapable of advanced, intellectual tasks, such as deciding on debatable topics.

Other Person's Response: Not only is your lack of knowledge rendering you blind to many truths, but you're also blind to the fact that there's more beauty to life than positive emotions.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: You're also not a good philosopher, and some things you say make no sense, since you're no good at being a thinker.

My Reply: Yes, that might be.

Other Person's Response: I thought you wanted to live a long, happy life. So, wouldn't it be important that you discovered the truth as to whether you should, or should not be taking vaccines?

My Reply: Hopefully, these immortality rings will act as a harmless vaccine. Perhaps they'll protect me from viral and bacteria infections. I heard these rings do protect you from these infections, and that they cure health problems. If, for whatever reason, these rings would be harmful to me, then I'm still using them, since they're my one and only shot at living a very long life, such as a lifespan that lasts 800 years, or even longer. Besides, if these rings do give me health problems, they might eventually cure them, if I keep on wearing them.

Other Person's Response: Whether a person should, or should not go to college, is debatable. But, here you are, deciding if you should go to college or not.

My Reply: I'd be deciding based on preference, and not based upon knowing the truth as to whether I really should, or should not be going to college. It's my personal preference to not go to college, since it costs a lot of money, and I just want to learn music theory online. So, I'm not going to college to become a composer. The same idea applies to taking vaccines. My decision to not take vaccines would be based upon my preference, and not based upon knowing the truth as to whether I really should be taking them or not.

Other Person's Response: Have some people told you that you'd be better off going to college to become a composer?

My Reply: Yes, while others have told me I'd be better off learning at home to be a composer. Since it's a debatable topic, I've just decided to go with my personal preference, and learn at home. My mother doesn't have the money to put me in college anyway. But, even if she did, I'd still choose to learn at home. I know she said she's getting this Home Equity loan. But, I'm not going to use that money to get into college. I'm just going to use that money to buy the things I need, such as a new computer, a fancy, brand new, hdtv, a Nintendo Switch, and games to go with it.

Other Person's Response: Even if you're happy again, you said composing is the new hobby you've taken up, and that you've given up playing video games. So, if your mother gets this loan, why buy the Nintendo Switch, an hdtv, and games to go with it, if you're not going to play it?

My Reply: Actually, I'll have my mother save the money until I switch back over from composing to playing video games.

Other Person's Response: Your grandma has the money to get you into college, doesn't she?

My Reply: I think she does have a lot of money to do so. But, like I said, I'm not going to college.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you did go to college to become a composer. But, you didn't have your positive emotions to enjoy the whole learning process. Would you give up right then and there?

My Reply: No, because that money would be wasted, and that would disappoint my mother, or grandma (whoever spent the money to get me into college). So, I'd still go to college, learn, and do all the homework, even though none of it would be valuable and worthwhile to me in the absence of my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: If your mother had millions of dollars, would you go to college then?

My Reply: I'd definitely consider it, given that people say you get better training and education in college than what you can get online. But, as long as my mother isn't rich, then I'm not going to have money wasted, getting me into college. I'd want that money saved.

Other Person's Response: You said you might not be capable of achieving your goal of creating memorable melodies that express what you want to express to the audience, and that you'd give up composing if you can't achieve this goal. If you really can't achieve this goal, then it would just be a waste of money for you to go to college to become a composer.

My Reply: Exactly. Let's pretend I did choose to go to college. I could gain all the skills and techniques I'd need in college. But, as long as I can't achieve my goal, then it was all for nothing.

Other Person's Response: It would be lovely if there was a way to change your preference of not taking vaccines to taking them because I'm a vaccine supporter, and I think you should be taking vaccines.

My Reply: Well, if my preference ever does change, then I'll take them.

Other Person's Response: The question to ask yourself is: "Would it pose a higher health risk to take vaccines, or not taking them?"

My Reply: Yes, and I don't know the answer. I don't know if the risk of dying, and developing serious medical problems, is higher with taking vaccines, or without taking them.

Other Person's Response: Even if you did choose to take vaccines, I think it's debatable as to what vaccines are best to take.

My Reply: Yes. In which case, I wouldn't know which vaccines are best to take.

Other Person's Response: Are there people who argue against obvious facts of life?

My Reply: Yes. But, these types of people would be ones, such as schizophrenics. For example, a schizophrenic might believe that living a very unhealthy lifestyle his whole life would pose no health risks. But, we know for a fact that it does put you at high risk. So, when it comes to those types of people who argue against obvious facts of life, we can just dismiss their debating arguments. But, when it comes to topics that have professional researchers and scientists debating, that's a whole new story. We really might not know who's telling the truth in these types of debates.

Other Person's Response: There's another decision you've made, which would be that your writing skill is good enough, and people should appreciate it.

My Reply: If it's debated as to whether my writing is good enough or not, then it's my personal preference when I say it's good enough. But, isn't it an obvious fact of life that my writing would be good enough for most people? In which case, my writing would be good enough. It wouldn't be good enough in a professional author's eyes, due to his higher standard. But, it would be good enough for most people.

Other Person's Response: You say you're open-minded to claims. I don't think it's open-mindedness. Rather, I think it's just plain, willful ignorance.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I heard you were traumatized by the idea that this might be the only life. How did you become traumatized?

My Reply: At first, it seemed to me as though the afterlife could exist, and I had hope in it. Then, I wasn't so sure, and became emotionally traumatized.

Other Person's Response: I hate stupid people, and you're one of them!

My Reply: You could have a dumb person with a dumb, idiotic personality. Or, you could have a dumb person with an amazing, badass personality. So, just because someone is dumb, doesn't mean you should judge his personality.

For example, there are many positive qualities about me, and I plan on sharing some interesting, bizarre compositions in the future. Therefore, I don't agree that intelligence is all that it's cracked up to be. There are other ways to make up for a lack of intelligence, and to be an awesome person.

Other Person's Response: What about your mother you live with? What type of person is she, and how much knowledge and experience does she have?

My Reply: She has no knowledge and experience when it comes to things either. Of course, she knows things when it comes to financial issues, and paying bills. I have no knowledge and experience when it comes to these things. But, if my mother ever needs my help, and wants me to know about these things, then I'll learn about these things. When it comes to topics, such as the afterlife and vaccines, she does no research on these topics, and has no interest in research.

As for the type of person she is, she's a kind, loving mother, and she even said she'd give money to the poor if she was rich. She doesn't expect much from me, and I live out my casual, carefree, happy life, doing my hobbies. I don't listen to anyone who tells me who to be, and how to live my life. I live how I want to live, and I be who I want to be. But, if I ever lose my positive emotions, and can no longer live that happy, hedonistic lifestyle, then I'll talk with my therapist, and see what we can do.

My therapist's name is Randy Bolten at Vera French, and he's a bit of an old man. He even agrees with my hedonistic worldview (the idea that positive emotions are what make life beautiful and worth living). So, if I ever lose my positive emotions, he's willing to try things to help me sufficiently, or fully regain them. That, or change my worldview if all else fails.

Changing my worldview might prove to be the most difficult, tedious task and, therefore, I leave that option as a last resort. Sadly, it could be the case that no other way of life will ever work for me, and only my positive emotions can bring my life perceived beauty, goodness, etc. There are some reasons why no other way of life will work for me. The 1st reason is that my brain might be permanently wired like a drug addict's.

The 2nd reason would be that certain people just weren't meant for certain things. For example, trying to have a wild, free animal find value and worth, living an intellectual lifestyle, trapped in a cage, really isn't going to work out for that animal. Who knows, there might be a way for an intellectual lifestyle to work out for me. But, I really don't know right now. Lastly, the 3rd reason why no other way of life will work for me is because my worldview might have been right all along. In which case, positive emotions really are the only things that make life beautiful.

File #3: Undecided (Part 4/4)

Other Person's Response: Does your mother expect you to do the dishes or fold clothes?

My Reply: No. She can do these things on her own. I only do things if my mother expects them from me. But, if me having a job was something that was absolutely necessary, and no one else could take that job, then I'd have to do it. As you can see here, I live my life, doing the things I want to do, and enjoy doing. I don't do unnecessary things that take away time from the things I want to do, and the goals I want to achieve. That's the reason why I'm not a father because I'd have to live my life for a wife and child. It might make me unhappy, and would take so much time away from the things and goals I want to achieve.

Other Person's Response: I don't think your mother is a good person, and she needs to do so much more for you! She's unfit to be a parent!

My Reply: I think she's a good mother. What else is she supposed to be doing for me? She helps me when I need help, I help her when she needs help, she buys me the things I need, she takes me out into the community, and she doesn't torture or abuse me. Sure, she might not be an intelligent mother, and she might not be able to afford the things I need on certain occasions, since she's a bit poor. But, she's still a decent mom. I don't think you should demean someone, just because he's lacking intelligence, or because he's poor.

Other Person's Response: Your mother has raised you wrong. She should expect you to help humanity, do chores, even when she can do them herself, and she should expect you to research things, even when you don't want to.

My Reply: That would make my mother a slave-driver. Me helping humanity, and doing chores that she can do, is completely optional.

Other Person's Response: If your mother raised you right, you'd have a better value system than the one you live by.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's true or not. Positive emotions might really be the only things that make life good and beautiful. If that's the case, then it wouldn't matter how helpful I was towards humanity, or anything else; I'd always require my positive emotions to see beauty, goodness, and worth in anything.

Other Person's Response: Does Jerrell, your younger brother, live by your hedonistic, emotional based values?

My Reply: I don't think he does. Neither does my mother. I never heard them say they did.

Other Person's Response: If the way your mother has raised you is responsible for the weak value system you live by, then surely your younger brother, and even your mother, would be living by weak values as well. Since they don't, then how you were raised has nothing to do with the values you have. You being a hedonist, who thinks positive emotions are the only source of beauty and love, is just your personal thing.

My Reply: Exactly. People would call my mother a weak parent, and that my younger brother, along with myself, have been poorly raised. But, you'd expect my mother and brother to have weak values. They don't, and I don't know why. Perhaps they live by false values they think are real, which means they're in denial of the fact that positive emotions really are the only source of beauty, love, and goodness.

Other Person's Response: I heard your mother struggles with depression. Does she act as though there's more positivity to life than happiness?

My Reply: Yes, since she carries on with life, and has the attitude that there's more positivity to life. I think she's wrong though.

Other Person's Response: Wild animals are intellectually weak, dumb, and live by weak values. Some of them, at least. So, maybe, you're like one of those weak, dumb, wild animals.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Do you think you'd be a helpful person to humanity if your mother raised you right?

My Reply: I might still be the same person because it all comes down to one's own personal preferences, regardless of how that person was raised. So, if a father raised his son to be a writer, the son might still want to pursue a different field, such as painting. The son might still have no interest in writing. Likewise, I might still have no interest in helping humanity and contributing to the world, regardless of how my mother raised me.

Even if I was born and raised by Christian parents, I might still find myself being very skeptical and not living by the Christian doctrine. So, if you're a son or daughter who wants to obey a religious doctrine, or contribute to humanity, then that's your preference. If you're someone who prefers to live for himself, and questions religious dogma, rather than blindly obeying it, then that's your preference. That's the type of person you'd be. As for me, I don't agree with, or live my life by religions forced upon me.

Other Person's Response: Sometimes, it's not a choice. A person can be born into an abusive family, and turn out to be cruel, hateful, and abusive himself. I don't think it's his fault.

My Reply: Maybe you're right. Maybe it wasn't his choice to become that person. I mean, if we're biological machines with no free will, according to the materialistic skeptics, then it really wasn't his choice.

Other Person's Response: I might as well not waste my time with you any further, since you're unwilling to learn and grow as an individual.

My Reply: If I ever lose my positive emotions, and can't regain them, then changing my worldview is the only option of changing my life for the better. I'm not going to throw out such an opportunity. Like I said, in such a situation, I'd talk with my therapist, and see what can be worked out.

Other Person's Response: I think it's wrong to live your life not helping others, and you'll receive a lot of negative treatment from others.

My Reply: Have I ever asked anyone else in this world to help me out, to give me money, and treated them with a negative attitude for not doing so? No. So, other people shouldn't be doing the same to me.

Only the people I ask to help me, and do so, are the people I have an obligation to return the favor, and help them. The way I see it, we all have our own lives to live, and we're all trying to make it through life the best we can.

I have no obligation to help anyone else, just as how other people have no obligation to help me out. Of course, I do help my mother when she needs help, and she helps me when I need help, because this is a mandatory situation.

Another example would be when my therapist helps me out when I need help, and I return the favor and help him. So, there are mandatory situations of exchanging help. But, then there are unnecessary situations where it's not needed. I find it unnecessary to go out into the community and help others.

Other Person's Response: There are plenty of people, such as scientists, who have contributed to the world, and made the lives of others (including yours) better. So, why not help and contribute to these people?

My Reply: It's because I think I'm a decent person the way I am and, thus, I don't need to help, contribute, or give anything to the world. I don't need to meet the standards and expectations of others in order to be a decent person.

If I was rich, then I wouldn't need to give any money to the world. Although I do acknowledge the giving to others in need as a compassionate endeavor, it's really not necessary for me to do so.

My mother would give money to the poor if she was rich, and I'd help her do so, since she'd expect this from me. But, let's pretend I was rich and living all alone, then I wouldn't give any money to the world. I'd spend it on whatever I want.

Other Person's Response: I thought your positive emotions are the only things that make you a decent (good) person.

My Reply: That's right. That's how my philosophy would define decency. But, for now, I'm going outside my personal definition of decency.

Other Person's Response: Are there any other reasons why you wouldn't give to the world?

My Reply: It's just not my passion in life. Don't expect anything more from me than having fun, enjoying life, getting what he wants, and living for his own passions.

Other Person's Response: I think anybody who doesn't help and contribute to the world isn't a decent person.

My Reply: We can sit here all day and debate about that. But, I personally think I'm a decent person, regardless of how much I don't give to the world, and regardless of how much I live a self-centered life. However, if I did things, such as harming innocent people, and making the lives of kind people miserable, then I'd no longer be a decent person.

My way of life is merely me minding my own business, and going about my own passions. I don't see how that makes me someone worthy of contempt or scorn. Besides, plenty of people are giving and contributing to the world anyway. So, that's their passion. As for me, I don't need to.

Other Person's Response: If we can debate about whether you really are a decent person or not, then you should remain undecided on that.

My Reply: In which case, all I can say at this point is that everyone has their own standards. I have my own standard of decency, and you have yours. No truth is really known in this scenario, and all we have to go by is our own standards. You can't expect me to live by your standard, just as how I can't expect you to live by my standard.

Other Person's Response: Don't you think innocent people are deserving of help, love, and compassion?

My Reply: I do. I just don't need to help people in this world.

Other Person's Response: If you're not going to help others in this world, then you're shit!

My Reply: You should, at least, appreciate the fact I was kind enough to say innocent, suffering people deserve love and compassion. At least I was nice enough to say that because there are many cruel people who wouldn't say something like that. I don't think I'm a shit person, no matter what anyone thinks. I don't listen to them, and I have my own standard of decency.

Other Person's Response: Anybody who lives for themselves, their own happiness, to be loved by higher spiritual beings, to be given an eternal blissful afterlife, etc. is nobody decent! They're just selfish, childish people!

My Reply: You can be just as a decent person helping others as you can living for yourself. It's like saying being a painter is no more inferior than being a poet. Each field of art is unique, and one is no less than the other. I see those people like me as being just as beautiful as those types of people who are selfless, and giving. Of course, if I was doing criminal deeds, then I'd no longer be a decent person. In short, all I'm saying here is that I'm not inferior to a selfless, giving, non hedonistic person. I'm simply different is all, and this is my own personal path in life.

Other Person's Response: Someone who wishes to opt out on responsibility, such as helping the community, deserves harsh treatment.

My Reply: People would be forcing their way of life upon me, and giving me negative treatment, since I don't want to live their way of life. It would be no different than if I forced my hedonistic way of life upon them, and treated them with a negative attitude, for refusing to live my way of life. As you can see here, each person has his own way of life. To each his own.

Besides, my way of life isn't harming anyone else. It's not like I'm a psychopath, deriving pleasure from harming others. Despite the fact that my values aren't moral and intellectual, since they're emotional based values, I still conduct myself in a moral fashion, both in society, and in my own home. That's why I'm not in prison, or getting myself in trouble.

Other Person's Response: Would there ever be a time where you choose to help others in this world?

My Reply: Yes. If I could get what I wanted out of it, then I'd do it. For example, if I really wanted something, but my mother couldn't afford it, then I'd help others to earn the money I need to get that thing I wanted. In addition, I'm also composing and sharing my music to get what I want, too. I seek praise and recognition of my music, and that would make me feel positive emotions.

If I can't get what I want, then I just give up. This means I'd give up composing if my music doesn't get praise and recognition. I'm talking about any amazing, catchy music I share in the future when I'm a skilled composer because the music I'm creating now is just blabber, and nothing catchy or amazing.

The fact is, I want the amazing, catchy music I hear in my mind to be praised and recognized because it's my true artistic vision. I don't want some lame, awful, or cheesy tune I make to be praised and recognized. But, to successfully convey these melodies I hear in my mind requires me to be a skilled composer.

Other Person's Response: Helping others for the sake of giving, and not receiving, and being able to pursue a given goal or dream for its own sake, requires maturity. You live your life by impulse, and that's why you can't appreciate composing for its own sake because you give up on it when you don't feel up to it, and you also give up on it when you can't get what you want out of it. We call these types of people shallow people, since they live by their animal impulses. For example, there are people in this world who only live for money and riches. They give up on things when they don't get paid.

My Reply: Until I change (if I ever do), this is the way it's going to be. I will continue to live for my own desires, and I don't care what anyone else says to me. Anyone who says that's wrong or pathetic is just having their own opinion, and I don't care about the opinions of others. Only my own personal views, opinions, desires, goals, interests, and passions matter to me.

Other Person's Response: A pitiful, worthless piece of shit like you deserves to die!

My Reply: I don't think so. I think many people stigmatize against people like me when, in reality, such people should be honored and respected. I should be honored and respected for not listening to other people who tell me who to be, and how to live my life, I should be honored and respected for living for myself, and my own desires, and for my other attributes. I think it's people like you who shouldn't be honored and respected. Another thing I should be honored and respected for is any amazing, catchy music I might share in the future.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to be a father sometime in your life?

My Reply: No. The only responsibilities I need are the ones that are necessary, such as taking care of the house when my mother dies, and helping others only when it’s necessary.

Other Person's Response: If you don't wish to have any responsibilities, then you must be some lazy slob who doesn't brush his teeth, or take good care of himself.

My Reply: That's false. I still take good care of myself. I'm more than willing to live for myself, my passions, the things I want, the goals I want to achieve, and to take good care of myself. But, I'm unwilling to have responsibilities that involve living my life for someone else, giving to others, helping others when it's unnecessary, and working for other people when it's unnecessary.

That's why I said earlier I don't want to be a father, and have a wife and child. I don't think only people who have responsibilities living for others should be honored. People who are responsible in looking out for themselves should also be honored. After all, I see many parents honoring sons and daughters who are responsible for themselves.

Other Person's Response: I see you wish for your life to be happy, easy, free of hardship, free of responsibilities, and to get whatever you desire. What would be your dream place to live?

My Reply: Although I do feel positive emotions from the city environment I live in, it, to me, isn't what I'd call an absolute paradise. The environment that would be the absolute paradise for me would be something like a tropical resort. Yes, I'm fine living in the environment I live in. But, all I'm doing is just pointing out what type of environment would be the true paradise for me. If you've ever heard the term "tropical paradise," this is what I mean here.

Such an environment would bring me more profound and intense positive emotions. Of course, if I was living in my dream environment without my positive emotions, then it wouldn't be a paradise for me. I'd either find myself living in a mental hell (if I was miserable), or a mental void (if I didn't feel any emotion). But, like I was saying, I'd also prefer to live in a big, fancy home in this tropical paradise, such as a mansion if I had the money.

Other Person's Response: How much free time do you have on your hands?

My Reply: I have all the time in the world each day because, like I said, I don't have the obligations and responsibilities of an adult, such as being a father and taking care of children.

Other Person's Response: You might as well say that we don't know whether the Earth is flat or round because there are, in fact, people to this very day who believe the Earth is flat. We call them the Flat Earth Society, and they're researchers. I can easily point out to you one thing that would prove the Earth is round, and disprove the notion the Earth is flat.

My Reply: Even if you did point out to me this one thing, I can't stop at that point and conclude the Earth is round. Just because something seems compelling doesn't make it so. That's why I'd have to continue searching through the debate, and all the research, rather than jumping to a conclusion, just because something seems compelling.

You can present to me all pieces of information that you think would make a compelling case that the Earth is round. But, since I realize there's debate against all that information, then I wouldn't stop there and conclude the Earth is round. So, yes, I'm undecided, even on the idea of the Earth being flat.

Also, I'm an average person, and I'm not as smart as a researcher. I only know basic facts of life. Therefore, it would be that more difficult for me to decide whether the Flat Earth researchers are correct with their arguments being presented, or whether researchers who argue that the Earth is round are right.

Other Person's Response: You can't decide whether the Earth is flat or round? Really?

My Reply: Again, it's no different than how I can't decide on any other topic that has debate. It would be no different than believers in the afterlife, presenting what they think is a compelling case for the afterlife, and other people presenting what they think is a compelling case that this is the only life we have.

Other Person's Response: Why don't you look into the debate regarding the Flat Earth, and decide for yourself? Another question I have for you is, have you been given a proper education in school? For someone to remain undecided as to whether the Earth is flat or not must've been given a poor education.

My Reply: Again, I have no interest in doing research, since it's not my passion. Therefore, I'm not even going to bother looking into that research. Second, I think I've been given a proper education. After all, I'm a skilled writer, according to many people. This shows I've been properly educated in school.

Other Person's Response: Did you graduate from school, or did you drop out?

My Reply: I graduated, and have my diploma in my room. I graduated from Rock Island High School.

Other Person's Response: I also heard you wish to be a composer. Beethoven's deafness didn't stop him, and neither should your absence of joy. Sure, artists, and many people, have bad things happen to them. Call it a curse, or bad karma, if you like.

It can get so bad that people give up on their lives, goals, dreams, and consider suicide. But, eventually, you have to find a way to pull through, and make an improvement. My point is, don't give up!

My Reply: I've given up, since I don't have my positive emotions right now. I'm still waiting for them to return. Also, not everyone who's cursed with bad karma (if it even exists) pulls through. There are some curses that truly beat us down, and take away all value out of our lives. For me, that curse would be misery, unhappiness, or just a plain absence of my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: It's been 3 years, 6 months, and your positive emotions still haven't returned. I think this calls for an inevitable change. This is an opportunity to improve as a person, and your values. Why throw out such an opportunity?

My Reply: I don't think change is inevitable yet because, like I said, it could be a short time before I'm fully recovered, and have my positive emotions all back to me again. I think, once I'm fully recovered from this, I'll officially be out of that cycle of suffering, or bad karma. In other words, I think I'll live the remainder of my life, no longer having those miserable struggles.

Other Person's Response: It's no wonder you're so limited in terms of values! Someone who's so basic, shallow, lacks further insight, and is so intellectually weak, is bound to live his life as the average joe, or hedonist!

My Reply: Yes, I know. But, if I ever wish to improve my knowledge and values, then I will.

Other Person's Response: You're also very narrow-minded because I heard composing is the only subject you wish to gain knowledge and experience in.

My Reply: That's correct. Any area of life that I have no interest in is an area I don't even bother with. Thus, I don't want to grow and improve in those areas. Only the areas I have a passion for are the areas I wish to grow and improve in.

This means I'll gain the education and training I need in terms of composing, but will leave out all other areas of life. Even my own previous video gaming hobby is out of the picture now because I don't like dedicating my life to 2 hobbies at once.

Therefore, I choose the hobby I want, and stick with it. That would be the hobby I'm solely focused on, and dedicated to. Therefore, I've given up playing video games, and now wish to be a composer. Lastly, you could call me a narrow-minded person. Or, you could call me someone who has a one track mind.

Other Person's Response: So, you have no more passion for gaming, and now have a passion for composing?

My Reply: Gaming is still my passion. I just don't do it anymore because I'm now dedicated to composing. But, learning new things, living a selfless life, and contributing to the world are things I have no passion for at all.

Other Person's Response: Could you explain more as to why you don't drive a car?

My Reply: Sure. Someone like me who's mentally weak, fragile, and incapable, shouldn't be driving in the first place. For example, if I was driving on a highway, I'd be in a very frantic, emotional state. That emotional state would turn off my ability to think, rationalize, and react. As a result, I'd very likely find myself in serious trouble. Not only that, but I wish to avoid potential hazards, and me driving is one of those hazards. Another example of a potential hazard I'd avoid would be using a chain saw. The blade is right there in front of me, and that, to me, is a potential hazard, waiting to happen.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to learn how to ride a bike?

My Reply: No. I don't want to do that either, and I see potential problems with that as well. If I were to ride my bike out in the community, I might crash into people, and there might be other problems. Besides, I just don't want to ride a bike, or drive a car anyway. Although, my younger brother knows how to ride a bike, and he's learning how to drive. My brother is 10 years younger than me.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you're incapable of making any decision in your life.

My Reply: Actually, there are certain things I'm able to decide on. For example, me, my mother, and brother live in a small home. My mother wanted to move to a bigger home. However, this would cost more, and she wouldn't be able to afford the things I need, such as a new computer. Although my younger brother wanted this new house, since it had a big farm field, I've decided to stick with this small home because the things I need are more important.

In addition, my mother wouldn't be able to afford the fancy things she needs if she were to buy the new home. Having a bigger home would just be a luxury. Sure, it would be nice. But, it's not that important. As you can see here, I'm capable of making basic decisions almost anyone could make. But, when it comes to making advanced decisions that require knowledge and experience, I can't decide on these matters. If I was a judge on America's Got Talent, I wouldn't be able to decide who qualifies, and who doesn't.

Other Person's Response: You said you were able to decide to stick with the home you have, rather than getting this bigger home. Would there be people who'd debate whether your decision was wise or not?

My Reply: Perhaps there would be such people. But, again, it's my personal preference to stick with this home because I just don't need a bigger home, and the things I need are more important to me.

Other Person's Response: Do you find yourself thinking about things? For example, do you ponder about the universe, and events going on in the world?

My Reply: No. My mind is mostly clear all throughout the day. If it's something I have no interest in (that is, if it's something I don't feel any emotion about), then I don't think about it, since it doesn't matter to me. It seems my brain is lazy, and doesn't work without my emotions. When, for example, I lift things, such as totes, help my mother, or walk on the treadmill, I'm sluggish, lazy, and dragging myself along if I didn't feel any emotion about that.

I have no motivation without my emotions, and that's why I become lazy and apathetic. That's why I need to feel up to doing things, and thinking things. That even includes my composing dream. If I felt like playing a sport, but didn't feel up to thinking about things, then I'd be lazy in terms of thinking about things, and I'd be active in terms of playing sports. Actually, I'm sure I can still think about things, even if I didn't feel up to it. I just wouldn't be at my optimal capacity.

Other Person's Response: I heard that you think you're creating these amazing, catchy tunes in your head that you wish to share to the world, and have yet to fully convey to other listeners. But, since you just told me you can't tell the difference between a crap work of art, and a great one, what if these tunes in your mind are crap tunes that you just think are great? Or, what if they're nothing more than gibberish tunes that you think are catchy, great, and convey something powerful and profound?

My Reply: Who knows, that could be the case. But, then again, these tunes I'm hearing might really be as great and catchy as I say they are. Only time will tell. Once I become a fully trained composer, and successfully convey these tunes, then that will be the moment of truth that determines whether these tunes are nothing great, catchy, or plain gibberish, or if they really were that great and catchy. I have another packet, which talks about these tunes I'm hearing. I give supporting arguments for my personal reasons as to why I think they really are that great and catchy as I say they are.

Other Person's Response: You don't take vaccines? Then you're an idiot, putting himself and others at risk!

My Reply: Since I can't decide for myself what's true and not true, then it would make matters much easier if it was a proven fact as to whether vaccines really are harmful or not, rather than this being an argument/debate.

Other Person's Response: Do you even know if vaccines work or not?

My Reply: I don't know this either because one side of the debate would even say vaccines don't work, have little benefit, and that all they do is harm. Some even say they make you more vulnerable to viruses, and increase your risk of getting killed by them.

Other Person's Response: The flu even kills people who are in healthy condition, and have healthy immune systems.

My Reply: I don't think I have to worry, since that might be few people.

Other Person's Response: Even if it is a very small percentage of the US population that gets killed, and severely damaged by viruses/bacteria, getting vaccination is still a good idea, since it's a generous act.

My Reply: Then you can forget about it.

Other Person's Response: Do you remain open-minded to any given claim, whether it be the paranormal, the afterlife, vaccines being harmful, or conspiracy theories? If so, that's nothing to be proud of.

My Reply: Yes, I do. Since I don't know who's telling the truth, then I can only remain open-minded to both sides of the debate. As for it being nothing to be proud of, I think it is something to be proud of, and I'll tell you why. I mentioned those Immortality Rings by a man named Alex Chiu, who has made them, and is selling them. Now, skeptics would say that these rings are nothing more than a con, and that they don't make you live longer. But, perhaps the skeptics are being closed-minded, which means I'm willing to try them out, unlike these skeptics.

Other Person's Response: You say you wish to be a composer. But, composing is more than just emotion. It requires a lot of intellect and reasoning.

My Reply: I realize this. As for my composing dream, I'd be able to use my composing knowledge and experience to create good music. So, that's nothing to worry about when it comes to my composing dream. I'd be able to use reasoning when it comes to making music.

But, when it comes to reasoning through looking at a topic that has a lot of arguments and debate about it, I just can't decide the truth. There are so many different points of views, and there are so many arguments that sound good and intelligent, that it's impossible for me to decide who's telling the truth, and who's telling lies.

Lastly, I've created awesome, bizarre music in my mind. I plan on learning to compose so that I can convey these themes I hear in the real, physical world. If I were to share this music, and other people say it's really good, then I think this can make up for my other lacking attributes.

In other words, people can look at me, and my music, and say "Wow, this guy is amazing, and has a real talent here! I'm sorry I called him a pathetic, shallow, piece of shit! I take back what I said!" As you can see here, other people would be learning a life lesson, which would be that I don't have to be an amazing person by meeting their standards and expectations. I can be an amazing person on my own.

Other Person's Response: The very fact that you have no interest in learning things is deserving of harsh treatment.

My Reply: That's just your opinion. Many people will have different opinions. Some people out there would respect my lack of interest. Your opinion is formulated based upon your own life, and your own personal experiences. But, I don't live my life like you, and I'm not the same person as you. So, your opinion doesn't apply to my life.

Also, the only way I can have a positive interest in learning things is if I felt positive emotions. But, I just don't feel up to learning things. Even if I did feel up to learning things, I'd still not to because I wish to dedicate my life to composing. I don't want to waste any time when all that time could be dedicated to achieving my composing dream.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you're the opposite of Spock from Star Trek. Spock is intelligent, rational, coherent, not interested in hedonism, has control over emotions, mature, and lives by values founded upon intellect, character, and morality. But you're ignorant, irrational, incoherent, very hedonistic (so much so that it's a religion), wild and uncontrolled, very emotional, immature, and you live by values founded upon emotion. Is this really someone to be recruited on the enterprise? I don't think so!

My Reply: You're right. I'm the opposite of Spock, and I don't think living my life like him is going to work out for me. I just wasn't meant for it, and am no good at it. Some people just weren't meant for certain things. For example, my mother was never meant for playing video games, since she has no interest in them, and she's no good at them. As a result, she just gives up on them. I find the lifestyle of Spock to be very dull and unattractive. If I struggled with depression, or an absence of my positive emotions, then that would be no way of life from my perspective, regardless of how I think, or what I do with my life.

Other Person's Response: You should have more knowledge, experience, and values in your life than what you live by. You're an adult, after all. I would expect more from someone like you.

My Reply: You should be thankful that I, at least, have basic forms of knowledge. I know I need to obey the rules of society, and that I'd be put in prison if I commit crimes. So, you should be thankful that I'm not a dumb person, committing crimes unknowingly. Another thing you should be thankful for is that I'm not a spoiled person who throws tantrums whenever I don't get the fancy things I want. So, other people should be thankful for the attributes I have. People need to appreciate the fact that I do meet standards on some level.

Other Person's Response: I don't care how much other people say you're a kind, polite, wonderful person. You're still a pitiful, worthless piece of shit, who's better off killing himself!

My Reply: According to my mother's standard, as well as the standard of other people I meet, such as my therapist, I'm a wonderful person, and I'm not a pitiful piece of shit who deserves to die. Again, if anyone were to meet my therapist or mother, they'd be told I'm a nice, wonderful gentlemen.

It really agitates me, and gets to me, when people have such high standards of my knowledge and experience, as well as me as a person. If I don't meet their standards, then I'm deemed as some pitiful, piece of shit, who should've never walked the Earth.

As long as I help my family when they need help, treat others with kindness like I do in my own home, and like I do in the community, and as long as I'm not some cruel bastard harming anyone else, then that should be good enough.

Other Person's Response: Then other people must have a shit, low standard of you. If that's all they expect from you, and call you a wonderful person, just because you display a kind attitude, conduct yourself in a moral fashion, and don't harm others, then these people need a stern talking to.

My Reply: I don't care what you think. I don't want to meet the demands and expectations of anyone else. I just wish to live my life by the basic standard. Not only that, but this basic standard would allow me to feel more positive emotions, and would give me all the free time in the world to dedicate my life to whatever hobby I want to rather than, for example, being an agitated, miserable, unhappy father who has to attend to a wife and child. My standard is a hedonistic standard, and I don't care about anyone else's standards but my own. I think this standard should be good enough. It's not like I'm a psychopath, deriving pleasure from harming others, or anything like that.

Other Person's Response: I think it's good to have high standards and expectations of our sons and daughters.

My Reply: For me, it's no good. It's expecting too much from me. I'm fine helping my mother here and there when she needs help. But, I'm not fine living my life for others. Also, expecting me to live my life by values founded upon morality, character, and intellect, rather than my emotions, is expecting too much from me. Especially during my worst, miserable moments.

If my worldview is wrong, and one's life can somehow be beautiful, even during his/her worst, miserable moments, then it requires incredible strength of character to perceive beauty, goodness, etc. during such moments. That's something way out of my league, which is the reason why it's too high of an expectation for me.

Other Person's Response: Your standard yields no incentive to learn and grow.

My Reply: I'm satisfied with who I am as a person, and I expect nothing more from myself. I appreciate the positive qualities I do have as a person. So, it doesn't matter how much others tell me that I'm a weak, pathetic, dumb, shallow, or piece of shit human being; I don't expect to meet their higher standards.

Other Person's Response: You appreciate who you are as a person. But, you don't appreciate life itself. You expect life to be this happy utopia that gives you all the happiness you crave, and the things you desire. So, by expecting personal growth within yourself, you should appreciate life, even during its worst hardships. After all, it takes character to appreciate the beauty of life, even when one doesn't feel happy.

My Reply: Like I said before, my positive emotions, for me, are everything to my existence. They're like the holy, inner light, and I'd need a new personal experience to convince me there's more beauty and joy to life than positive emotions. If me growing as an individual is the way to obtaining this new personal experience, then I'll take it into consideration when the time comes that said growth is needed.

Other Person’s Response: You said it agitates you when people have high expectations of you and name call you for not meeting said expectations. I thought you only felt agitated during an emotional crisis. Normally, you don’t feel negative emotions, such as misery, agitation, rage, etc.

My Reply: That’s correct. Still, I’m not willing to meet the high standards of others, even if I don’t feel agitated.

Other Person's Response: If you have no knowledge and experience when it comes to physics, then you'll fail a physics test. If you have no knowledge and experience when it comes to a given sport, you'll fail at that sport. Likewise, if you have no knowledge and experience when it comes to life, you'll fail at life. You won't be able to meet any higher demands and expectations life throws at you.

My Reply: I don't know what to say then. That's just the way it is with me. People would tell me, if I want real values in my life that go beyond my emotional based ones, that I'd have to grow, and mature, as a person. But, this would be no different than expecting character growth and development from an amoeba. The amoeba doesn't have that capability, which means it's not going to work. Likewise, I might be incapable of maturity, too. Again, it all comes down to two factors here:

1.) No maturity and development was ever needed, since there truly is no more beauty, goodness, etc. to life than our positive emotions, and people are just deluding themselves into thinking there's more beauty, goodness, etc. to life.

2.) If there's more beauty, goodness, etc. to life, then I might be like an amoeba that's incapable of obtaining it.

Other Person's Response: You're incapable in about almost every area. You're incapable of making a decision when it comes to debatable topics, you're incapable of greater values, and you're incapable of producing any good music (I've listened to your tunes. They're dreadful)!

My Reply: Hopefully, when I gain more knowledge and experience in composing, I'll produce some good music for others to listen to.

File #4: Composing Dream Summary

My Mentally Inspired Tunes And Their Unrealized Greatness (Summarized Version)

Note: I go outside my philosophical (emotional) definition of awesome, good, bad, etc. when I claim that our brains are naturally capable of creating awesome works of art in our minds, and that I’m creating awesome, great melodies in my mind. So, that means I’m going by the standard, non-emotional definition. Going by this standard definition is just for the sake of convenience. It’s to get my point across. Anyway, I’d like to begin here:

These are short tunes I've composed that I'm sharing for now. I don't have the proper instruments for these tunes because I don't know much when it comes to instruments or music in general. Also, when creating melodies, I just create whatever I'm inspired to create.

I personally think my melodies are awesome. If they sound like awful rubbish to you, then perhaps I just have to find a way to bring out their power and greatness to the audience. Only I'm aware of their power and greatness, since I'm the one who created these melodies.

So, I hear these melodies as awesome and conveying of certain powerful scenes, while other people might hear them as nothing more than noise (i.e. meaningless rubbish). In other words, others might hear them as random tunes, plucked out on an instrument, by a baby.

In summary, the power and greatness of my melodies currently lurks in the shadows where nobody can see it but me. I will find a way to bring out that power and greatness from the shadows, and into the light, where the audience can clearly see it.

I have every reason to think I'm naturally creating great tunes in my head. I could've accurately reproduced (transcribed) these tunes in my head, and I just have to find a way to convey their power and greatness to the audience. Or, I didn't accurately reproduce them, and it would be no different than someone who has created an awesome drawing in his head, but was bad at drawing it.

Either way, someone might say to me that I'm not creating any good music in my head to share to the world. I think I am though. Why is it that I think I'm naturally creating great music in my head, having no knowledge and experience whatsoever in composing? Well, there are two reasons why, and I give those reasons below. After that, I share all my tunes. So, here are those reasons:

1.) Even if you're a complete novice who has no knowledge and experience whatsoever in any field of art, you can still naturally create entirely new, great works of art in your head, whether it be through drug trips, dreams, or just plain inspiration. During dreams and drug trips, you witness awesome and beautiful artwork with no effort at all, since your brain automatically creates it for you.

If you've ever talked with people who went on psychedelic trips, I bet they'd tell you they've witnessed beautiful landscapes they've never seen before, met beings they've never met before, and heard angelic music they've never heard before. Psychedelic trips allow any average person to enter beautiful or hellish realms. These realms are great works of art, created by our brains. The beings, music, landscapes, etc. are all beautiful, awesome, hallucinatory works of art.

Here's a youtube link, which explains the amazing, beautiful things people witness during their drug trips. Since our brains are naturally capable of creating such amazing things, then why couldn't my brain naturally create awesome, powerful, and profound music in my mind? I think inspiration alone is all I need to create such music in my mind, which means I don't need to study any rules in music theory to do so. Anyway, here's the youtube link:

https://youtu.be/16EFVCZ8JK4

2.) There's an article I'd like to share, which talks about how we naturally have remarkable musical abilities. I think one of these abilities is to naturally create great and powerful melodies, themes, and songs in our heads that express the scenes, moments, characters, etc. we wish to express. The article talks about statistical learning, which gives our brains these natural abilities. So, technically, our brains already do have musical knowledge.

Our brains are, thus, naturally capable of following the rules of music theory to create awesome and beautiful music in our minds. That's why I said earlier I don't need to study the rules, when my brain has already learned them naturally. But, if that were the case, then why have books on music theory in the first place? If our brains already know all the rules naturally, couldn't we just toss these books away, since we don't need them?

Actually, we still need these books, just as how someone who's not skilled at drawing needs to study the rules of drawing so he can skillfully draw the awesome landscapes, characters, scenes, etc. he's naturally created in his mind. So, just because we can naturally create great works of art in our minds doesn't mean we can skillfully replicate them so we can share them to amaze our audience. That's why the rule books are there to give us the skills we need. There are also online sources that can help you, such as youtube tutorials and lessons.

Therefore, even though I don't need to study the rules of music theory to create awesome and powerful music in my mind, I do need to study them if I wish to successfully convey my artistic vision to the audience. But, I could be wrong. It's possible our brains aren't naturally capable of creating great works of art in our minds. In which case, I'd need to study the rules to not only create great works of art in my mind, but to successfully convey said works to the audience. Anyway, here's the article:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-music-in-you

With all of this being said, I'm going to share all of my tunes. I'm not sure what my tunes will sound like for others. However, if people do report that my tunes do convey some sort of emotion or scene, it might not be the emotion or scene I intended to convey, since my melodies are only in their beginning stage of development. I must, therefore, find a way to bring out the true power my melodies have for other listeners.

If you just leave a melody out there for others to listen to, you're just being vague to the audience. You're not articulating exactly what you want to express to the audience. That leaves the melody open to a wide variety of interpretations, where one person might see the melody as conveying something, while another person sees the melody as conveying something else. That's why the artist must bring out the absolute power of his/her melody. That way, everyone who listens to it will get to hear what the artist intended to convey.

It would be like if someone has written a sentence that's unclear to the audience. One person who reads the sentence might get a different message from it than someone else who reads it. But, if the writer makes the sentence absolutely clear to everyone, then everyone will know the real message the writer intended to convey. Anyway, I have all my tunes on a cd. You can put the cd in a radio and listen to it. Or, you can put it into the computer and listen to the tunes on it.

To conclude this packet, I'm going to share a couple of my tunes, which are important, along with the notices that go with said tunes. So, here's the notice that goes along with this 1st tune, and the youtube and soundcloud links to it:

Note: I'd like to share this melody I recently made, which I think is now my best one. I think it, along with the other melodies in this desktop folder, follow the rules of melody writing. It starts on the C note, which is the dominant note in the key of F minor, and ends on the F note, which is the tonic note. The dominant and tonic notes are the most important notes to start and end a melody on.

In addition, there are proper chord progressions, and the notes of this melody are the chord tones. I think this melody is an awesome, memorable, heavy, dramatic melody. When I say it's heavy and dramatic, I don't mean sad, morbid, or even angry. It sounds dramatic in an awesome, gothic, evil way. That's why I've chosen a heavier, more serious-sounding instrument for this melody when you listen to it in the desktop folder titled "MyTunes."

If this melody doesn't sound awesome, memorable, gothic, evil, and dramatic to the audience, and people report it's instead a mediocre melody that's nothing memorable, then I'd find that frustrating, since my goal as a composer is to not only create melodies that are awesome and memorable for the audience, but melodies that express whatever scene, moment, character, etc. I wish to express to my audience.

When I'm not achieving this goal, and I just think I am when I'm really not, then that becomes frustrating for me. Many good composers are able to achieve this goal. For example, famous, nursery rhymes are things many people find great, memorable, and expressing of whatever scene or message the artist intended to express to his/her audience.

It's not just the lyrics and instrument choice that achieve this goal, but the actual melodies themselves. My goal as a composer is to create melodies that also achieve this goal. I mean, you can have great lyrics and some beautiful instruments. But, what good is that without a great, memorable melody that expresses the intended scene, moment, or message?

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/dcVkoXN3G6c

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... highmelody

Music Sheet:

https://ibb.co/ydypwxF

Lastly, here's the notice to my 2nd tune, and the links to it:

Note: I've studied some rules of melody writing, and I think this Super Sonic melody follows these rules. The chords go from I-V and V-1. This would be an imperfect and perfect cadence. There's also a IV chord in there as well, which goes back to the I chord. This would be a plagal cadence. The notes of the melody are the chord tones. I think this melody is great, memorable, and catchy.

If, for whatever reason, it's a rubbish melody that doesn't follow the rules of proper melody writing, then maybe I just need to revise this melody, so it does follow these rules. Only then will this awesome, memorable melody I'm trying to convey be successfully conveyed to the audience.

From there, if I revise all my other melodies, so they follow the rules, then maybe they'll also become the awesome, memorable melodies I've naturally created in my mind. The fact is, I might not be accurately transcribing the awesome melodies in my mind (even though I said I did earlier).

Therefore, that's why I need to study and follow these rules when transcribing my melodies, so they do become accurately transcribed. Again, it would be like a situation where a person has naturally created an awesome, memorable drawing in his mind, but was not skilled at drawing it. He'd need to study and follow the rules of drawing, so his awesome, artistic vision becomes successfully conveyed to the audience.

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/hRyYbMIkYBE

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... rsonictune

Music Sheet:

https://ibb.co/WF2sPd2

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 1/12)

My Mentally Inspired Tunes And Their Unrealized Greatness (Full Version)

Note to Reader: In this section, I present melodies I've made in the past. These were melodies that weren't good at all, since I didn't know that much about music theory. But, the recent melodies I've made, such as the Dramatic Sky High melody, are, hopefully, good melodies. Some of these recent melodies are actually presented in this section as well. Anyway, I'll begin with this section, and then get into the Composing Discussion Section:

Even though I hardly know anything about composing, I've created very good tunes in my head for now. I've created a melody that, to me, conveys something awesome. It was a melody created through channeling inspiration. I've got down the right notes and rests to this melody I hear in my mind, and I got the right tempo.

The scene I envision this melody conveying would be a dark character, such as Shadow the Hedgehog, unleashing a magnitude of energy. What you hear playing at the higher octave is to prepare the listener for what's about to happen next. It would be a leading tune that I think people call the "bridge" in music. Therefore, this part of the melody would convey Shadow preparing to unleash.

Then, you hear things playing at the lower octave, and this is where Shadow unleashes his power. This part is supposed to be the chorus, which conveys awesome, dark, heavy, powerful emotion. Now, this melody is supposed to be awesome, catchy, and dark. It's not just the instruments I've chosen for this melody that convey a dark, awesome mood.

It's the actual melody itself that conveys this to me. If anyone tells me that this melody conveys nothing of the sort, that it's nothing catchy, that it's "ok," or that it's all musical gibberish, or something lame/awful, then perhaps it's because more things are needed to make this melody coherent for the listener, and to fully bring out its intended power.

You see, there's more to making music than just having the melody down, and a beat. There are so many other factors and, as long as those factors aren't met, then music might sound like gibberish, or something unpleasant for the listener. Only I know what this melody is supposed to be, and only I know the awesome power it has, since I'm the one who created it. Other people might not know because I have yet to find a way to fully convey the melody for other listeners.

Me knowing what this melody is supposed to be is a memory. In other words, if I were to lose that memory somehow, I'd perhaps see my melody as gibberish because I'd no longer know what it's supposed to be. This has, in fact, happened to me with other tunes I've made. The memory just didn't stick there and, as a result, I lost the memory, and perceived my created tunes as gibberish. Fortunately, with this tune I've made, the memory is permanent.

I've also managed to bring back some of the memories of my previous tunes, which means I'm back to perceiving them as amazing, catchy tunes, since I now know what they're supposed to be. Anyway, I have this dark melody on a cd. But, I'll share the youtube link to this dark melody. In addition, I'll also give a link to the music sheet of this melody.

With all of that being said, I'm now going to share the links to my tunes. These are simple, catchy, memorable tunes that are great, and they all convey different scenes and atmospheres. Some of these tunes convey powerful and profound emotion. But, said emotion might not be conveyed because these melodies might not be successfully conveyed in their current stage.

Nonetheless, I'm going to share them anyway. I do have a beat to go along with these tunes, which is a beat based off of the melody itself. Hopefully, this conveys my melodies. If not, then I'd have to learn more, so I can successfully convey them later on down the road.

So, before I present to you this dark tune, I'm going to present my most recent tune I've made first. It's a different dark (evil) tune, and it's very powerful. It could actually be my best one (even though I said my other dark tune could be the best one). This dark tune I made is like one of those simple, powerful, repeating melodies you hear during the chorus of a song.

When you listen to the chorus of songs, you sometimes hear a simple, powerful, repeating melody being sung by a choir. Also, I know I said in the Composing Discussion Section of this packet that I might not be accurately reproducing what I hear in my head.

But, I've gotten much better at reproducing the tunes I hear in my head. So, I think I got the exact notes to this tune down. Here's the youtube link to this dark tune. In addition to a choir instrument, you do hear a brass instrument as well. The brass gives a different feeling. It's supposed to play the other half of this melody:

https://youtu.be/7DVFoo-wOFc

Here's that same dark tune, but with a different instrument that I like

https://youtu.be/KYvvnAuW5p4

Here's that same dark tune one more time, but sped up. When sped up, it conveys a different emotion/scene. It sounds serious and dramatic, like a video game boss fight. It doesn't sound miserable or sad to me. But, it does sound like a dangerous level, or boss fight, in a video game. Again, only I can see this, since I'm the one who created this melody. Others might still hear this melody as random, meaningless rubbish. Also, as a side note, when you slow down, or speed up melodies, they do convey different emotions/scenes than the normal-paced melodies. Anyway, here's the link to this melody:

https://youtu.be/AIMs6WLzBtk

Now, this tune I made is a very haunting one. I'm quite sure I've accurately transcribed this melody. This melody, to me, conveys something very spooky:

https://youtu.be/FzZbvue1OCQ

Here's another tune which is a dramatic one:

https://youtu.be/rPsu4i7E39g

Now, I'll present one more tune before I present to you that other dark tune I talked about in the very beginning of this packet. I think this tune is a very cool, awesome one. It's something you'd hear during the chorus of a song. So, when you first listen to it, it might be a bit confusing to you, given that the rest of the song isn't there to give context to this tune. I have yet to create the rest of the song myself someday. For now, I'm just sharing short tunes:

https://youtu.be/5KsMmvb31Tg

Now, here's the youtube link to that dark tune I was talking about. You just hear the beat at first. Then, you hear the melody later on, along with the beat. It conveys something evil, awesome, and powerful. In regards to the chords I've chosen for this tune on the music sheet, they're basic chords, since I don't know what chords I'm supposed to use:

https://youtu.be/vDnF99yQiIQ

(Note: In the Composing Discussion Section of this packet, I said I might've gotten the notes wrong to this tune. Actually, I was referring to a previous version of this tune I made. This is my final attempt, and I did my absolute best to get the notes right this time. Also, you can actually forget the instrument choice because they're not the awesome, dark instruments I hear in my head. This tune, along with my other ones, do have a key to them. I just don't specify that key.

But, I'll just give you the key signature to this Dark Tune, which would be F minor. Again, in regards to the tunes I'm sharing, you might not understand them. Only I understand them, since I'm the one who created them. I'll have to learn more about making music, so I can make my melodies understandable for other listeners. Hopefully, other people will be able to understand them as they are now though).

Here's that same dark tune. But, with different instruments. These instruments might sound like they're better quality:

https://youtu.be/lSVjUe_hR8I

Now, here's another recent tune, and I think I got the exact right notes to it. I think I'm naturally creating great tunes in my head, and I wish to share them. This recent tune is one of those great tunes. My other tunes might not really adhere to a rhythm because I didn't learn enough about music theory at the time. So, someday, I plan on changing the notes a bit, so they do adhere to a rhythm. In addition, I have the time signature wrong for these tunes as well. But, I'll share these tunes anyway. With this new tune I've made, it does adhere to a rhythm, and I do have the right time signature.

It's a short, simple tune that I think others would love, and find catchy. Since I'm a beginner at composing, I just wish to share simple, short tunes at this point. I think that's good enough anyway because there are already simple, short tunes out there that are great. Haven't you ever heard of one? I'm quite sure you have. The Frosted Flakes tune would be an example. It has the lyrics: "Frosted Flakes are more than good. They're great!" I think I'm creating simple, great tunes like this. Another example of a simple, great tune would be a tune you'd hear when a character acquires a 1-up (extra life).

Sure, the examples I gave are short tunes. But, they're still memorable and great. This recent tune I made would be one for a video game. It would be for Sonic the Hedgehog. But, it's not the type of tune you'd hear when a character earns an extra life. It would be a chorus tune, like the Frosted Flakes tune. I think this tune could very well be used in a Sonic commercial. It would be a commercial featuring Super Sonic (Sonic in his golden form). It has lyrics, which would be: "This is Super Sonic. He's at the speed of light!"

Here's the Youtube link to it. I also give the Soundcloud link to my tunes later on, in case the Youtube links don't work for you. Not only that, but I give links to the music sheets of my tunes because I think it's important that others see my tunes on the sheet:

https://youtu.be/ApxaplL90p0

Now, here's a link to a different tune (the time signature is actually supposed to be 2/2). This tune is supposed to convey something bizarre and mysterious, such as being all alone in a far away, distant time period, or galaxy. It, to me, conveys powerful, deep meaning, and is very catchy. I'm not sure what others would think of it though. I think it could very well be my best tune (along with my Dark Tune, since they're both the best tunes). Again, you just hear the beat at first, and then you hear the melody, along with the beat. So, listen to all of it:

https://youtu.be/LC7Z6g3_RAM

Here's that same tune, but slowed down, and added to a scene in Sonic the Hedgehog. The slow version sounds sort of creepy/ominous, which is the reason why I've added it to this scene:

https://youtu.be/kX-gC0UZ0Bc

Now, here's a very beautiful, catchy, memorable tune. It sounds like something you'd hear during a wedding. I add lyrics to this. Sure, they might not be great lyrics. But, I think the melody itself is great. The lyrics are on the music sheet. I add lyrics to convey what each part of the melody expresses. The fact I know what each part of the melody expresses means I have a vision of this melody, which means I'd know how I'm supposed to fully craft the melody.

As I said before, my melodies aren't fully crafted. I'm going to explain to you now what each part expresses. The first part is a statement, where it goes "Bum bum bum this is love. Bum bum bum we are one." The second part builds up in tension, since it's about to finish off. It's an incomplete sentence, which is: "Don't you see that..."

Then, it finishes off with an exclamatory question, which would be "You are in my dreams?!" Lastly, this tune starts on a C chord, ends on a C chord, and is in the key of C major. I also reverse this melody and it, to me, conveys something even more beautiful. It conveys a deeper, beautiful meaning. I love the reversed version better than the forward version.

Here's the wedding tune:

https://youtu.be/1bC2ULh65R8

Here's a link to a gentle, caring tune. It's very memorable and catchy. Again, you hear the beat, and then the melody, along with the beat:

https://youtu.be/8tGyacHCf9w

Here's a cool, catchy tune that conveys deep meaning to me:

https://youtu.be/-mqmNNhMD8s

Here is another dark tune. This one sounds like a catchy, awesome, Halloween tune someone would dance to. This is supposed to be the chorus, and this tune is supposed to repeat (although, I just had it play one time). The chorus repeats, which is why this tune is supposed to repeat:

https://youtu.be/D5uAckaeBso

Here's a link to a new tune I recently made. I think it's a very good one. It conveys a strong, dramatic emotion, and is catchy. It has chords, and there's also a pattern to this tune because it alternates between something playing in the treble clef, and something playing in the bass clef. Here's the youtube link to this tune:

https://youtu.be/Y5tW_I2hWdE

Here's a link to a short, simple, catchy melody:

https://youtu.be/kbAm07PE9OQ

Here's a link to a bit of a weird tune I made:

https://youtu.be/QYp5Rbj8Ogg

Here's a Super Mario Galaxy 2 tune I made, which would convey the scene of Mario obtaining the Grand Green Star. In Super Mario Galaxy 2, Mario collects yellow stars, and then he collects the big, yellow stars, known as the Grand Stars. Later on in the game, you start to collect green stars.

But, there's no Grand Green Star in that game. Therefore, I've come up with this theme, which expresses Mario obtaining the Grand Green Star, which would be a special, secret, hidden star. I first have the melody in basic piano form, so that the notes of this melody can be distinctly heard:

https://youtu.be/7O7iNKXliio

From there, I have the Super Mario Galaxy 2 tune with more suitable instruments:

https://youtu.be/lMrm7dDercc

Here's a lovely tune, which I think would be a full theme song:

https://youtu.be/duFBsxKpHaE

Here's a beautiful, catchy tune that I think many people would really love:

https://youtu.be/qfuhxB0Dkas

Now, here are the soundcloud links to all those tunes I've just presented to you:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... reproduced

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/2 ... neversion2

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/3 ... sfighttune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/9 ... tingmelody

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... amatictune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... sometune-1

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/darktunefinal

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/dark-tune-2

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/supersonictune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/d ... nalversion

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/b ... eddingtune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/g ... nalversion

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/cooldeepmelody

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/eviltune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/dramaticforce

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/beautifultune

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/lesson

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/lovelytheme

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/supermariogalaxy1

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/supermariogalaxy2

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/weirdtune

Lastly, here are the links to the music sheets of my tunes, so you can see what types of notes and rests I've chosen:

https://ibb.co/v10Qk1m

https://ibb.co/jH9SQH6

https://ibb.co/T251smG

https://ibb.co/ZcWL68z

https://ibb.co/d4ENAL

https://ibb.co/F37vyVK

https://ibb.co/my4C7ST

https://ibb.co/qdvySjG

https://ibb.co/3yx9mt9

https://ibb.co/HxL76Xg

https://ibb.co/hoMMBV

https://ibb.co/iMRmRe

https://ibb.co/bsyAkp

https://ibb.co/iuybQp

https://ibb.co/cMKGQp

https://ibb.co/cAW7WU

I'm actually going to point out the music sheet of one of my tunes, which would be the Super Mario Galaxy tune. I've circled the pattern of notes I see in that tune, which proves I'm not just coming up with melodies with randomly placed notes or, what I like to call, just plain ruckus. What's interesting is that I didn't sit there and think of a pattern of notes. Rather, this melody came to me through pure inspiration alone and, sure enough, I discovered that this inspired melody actually has a pattern of notes to it.

This means my brain can create great, catchy tunes through pure inspiration alone with no intellectualizing before hand. Of course, I do think of certain scenes to be inspired by in order to come up with these melodies. But, I do not sit there, and think what notes I should use to convey whatever scene, character, or atmosphere I want to convey. I let the inspiration alone create the music. It's no different than how artists say they let the inspiration alone create the work of art. Whenever I feel positively inspired, I let that emotion create the music.

Koji Kondo is the composer for video games, such as Super Mario, and The Legend of Zelda. Now, this Super Mario Galaxy tune I made is something I think is just as great and catchy as any one of Koji's tunes (but might not sound good, or catchy, in its current, beginning stage of development). There are certain tunes Koji Kondo makes, which are short tunes. An example would be the tune you hear when Mario obtains the Grand Star in Super Mario Galaxy 2. I have created my own tune to express that scene, and I think it's just as good as any one of Koji's tunes.

That might sound arrogant of me. But, if I was truly arrogant, then I'd be saying it's a fact that the tunes I'm creating in my mind are just as good as Koji's tunes. I'm not saying it's a fact. I'm merely keeping an open mind to this possibility. I have every reason to keep an open mind to this because, from what it sounds like, this tune really does sound just as good and catchy as one of Koji's tunes. I have suspended all factors that would make an inflated judgment, and I've honestly judged this tune to be just as good and catchy as one of his tunes.

If someone else made this tune, and fully crafted it, then I'd see it as being just as good as Koji's tunes. Whether this is just a crap tune, and it's simply my lack of knowledge and experience, rendering me unable to tell the difference between a crap tune from a really good one, has yet to be determined. Like I said before, only time will tell, and it's only when I successfully convey/fully develop this tune would it be determined for sure if this tune really is as good as I say it is or not. I'll say one last thing before I move onto the Composing Discussion Section.

It takes a gifted composer to convey something great, catchy, profound, memorable, and powerful in one, simple melody. I think I have that gift, but have to find a way to convey it. If there's any skilled composer out there who can convey my melodies, then I'd tell them to feel free to convey them. I'll show them the music sheets to my tunes, and they can get to work. But, if it's really the case that only I can convey these melodies, since I know what they are, then I'll have to forget about others conveying my melodies for me.

Composing Discussion Section

Other Person's Response: You've got to be joking!

My Reply: I'm not joking. I really think the tunes I'm hearing in my mind are really good, and that I have yet to find a way to convey them. I have every reason to think I'm creating really good tunes in my head.

Other Person's Response: When you say your melodies are awesome and great, you wouldn't be able to see them as awesome or great without your positive emotions, right? You'd just be having the thought/idea that they're awesome and great.

My Reply: Yes. I'd also be thinking they'd be awesome and great in the eyes of others. But, I'm not sure how others would feel about them.

Other Person's Response: In this composing dream packet, do you go outside of your philosophical (emotional) definition of good, bad, etc.?

My Reply: Yes. I do so when I say I'm unable to create any good work of art in the physical world, but am able to naturally create awesome works of art in my mind.

Other Person’s Response: In regards to your composing dream, why do you wish to share your music to the world? Why can’t you just compose in private? There are many people who create works of art just to create them, and they have no need to share them.

My Reply: I’m the type of person who wishes to evoke a certain reaction in the audience. It would be like someone creating frightening works of art because he wishes to evoke fear in the audience. As of now, I’m not a skilled composer, and I’ve yet to acquire the necessary knowledge and skill to create the music I want to create and share. I haven’t gotten that opportunity yet, due to all my miserable struggles that have wasted much of my life.

Other Person’s Response: Not only must you evoke the reaction you want within your audience through your music, but you say you must witness such a reaction either through online comments people make regarding your music, or in person.

My Reply: Yes. Witnessing such reactions would make me feel great.

Other Person’s Response: I heard you wish to compose unique, bizarre, otherworldly music to share to the world, so that people can hear it. But, let’s pretend the world got to hear your music, and they acknowledged it as unique and amazing. However, the entire world was apathetic. Would you be satisfied with the fact that the world heard your music and praised it, even though they didn’t care about your music?

My Reply: No. People need to get the emotional response I intend to evoke through my music. That emotional response would be a feeling of astonishment or: “Wow, man! This is a very bizarre, profound, and powerful composition!” So, people need to be impacted by my music. If, let’s pretend, the entire world was apathetic, then I wouldn’t want to pursue my composing dream anymore.

That’s because nobody would be impacted by my music. Now, there will be some people who’d be apathetic in regards to any awesome composition I create because not everyone is going to be impacted by a work of art. So, I’d avoid sharing my awesome compositions to these people, and instead share them to those who’d be impacted.

It’s very interesting and enjoyable for me to witness others being astonished or moved by my music. It makes me feel great, and my goal is to experience positive feelings from others praising my music. If the entire world was apathetic, besides me, then I could still enjoy the whole process of creating music. But, my goal as a composer is to have the world hear my music and be impacted by it.

Other Person’s Response: People can be negatively impacted by your music because they could say your music is absolute garbage.

My Reply: That’s true. Hopefully, not very many people will be impacted in such a way by my music because that’s not the response I want. As of now, many people might say my music is absolute garbage because I’m not a skilled composer yet. So, I wish to compose awesome music someday that will astonish the audience.

Other Person’s Response: Let’s pretend you do acquire all the knowledge and skill you need as a composer, and you end up creating music that’s better than the rubbish you’re creating now. If virtually everyone doesn’t praise your music, and they say it’s lame or mediocre, would that anger or upset you? You wouldn’t be getting the astonishment and praise you wanted from your audience, and I’d imagine that would upset or anger you.

My Reply: It wouldn’t upset or anger me at all. I just wouldn’t care anymore about being a composer, and I’d go back to my previous hobby, which is playing video games. Since I’m not achieving my goal of impacting the audience, then I’d just give up composing.

Other Person’s Response: Actually, if you were having a miserable moment in your life, then virtually everyone not praising your music would upset and anger you because you feel all sorts of negative emotions during your miserable struggles.

My Reply: Correct. But, normally, it wouldn’t upset or anger me at all. It’s a fact that, if you’re having stress or an emotional crisis, then many things will upset and anger you. Even things that shouldn’t would. But, when you don’t feel upset or angered by anything, then nothing can upset or anger you. That’s been my personal experience, which is why I conclude that the only way things can move us, bother us, astonish us, etc. is through our emotions, and not through our mindset alone.

Other Person’s Response: When you’re not having any miserable moment in your life, and you’re doing just fine, do you still have the mindset that things still anger or upset you, even though that mindset can’t make you feel angered or upset?

My Reply: I don’t have that mindset. If I were to have that mindset, then I’d feel angered or upset by things. The only time I have that mindset would be during my miserable struggles because negative thoughts become dominant over positive thoughts during such struggles. So, when you have an emotional crisis or stress, you end up having the negative mindset that things bother you, that you want to give up on your goals and dreams, that you don’t want to live anymore, etc.

It becomes very difficult to have a positive mindset, such as that it’s perfectly alright if things don’t go your way, that you want to persevere in your goals and dreams, that you want to live life to the fullest, etc. As a result, you end up feeling much more negative emotions than positive emotions. But, once the emotional crisis or stress resolves, you end up feeling much more positive emotions than negative emotions.

Other Person’s Response: Our mindset takes on an emotional form when it makes us feel an emotion. For example, an angry mindset would cause us to feel anger, and a loving mindset would cause us to feel love, so that we can be angry and love.

My Reply: Correct. But, a loving or angry mindset alone can’t allow us to love or be angry. The same thing applies to being upset. An upset mindset alone can’t allow you to be upset.

Other Person’s Response: According to your philosophy of emotions, emotions are the only beauty, horror, magnificence, etc. there is. So, if you had no emotions, then that means there’d be no beauty, horror, magnificence, etc. within you to express to the audience through your music.

My Reply: Correct. Without my emotions, I could still choose to compose. But, I’d just be composing music and nothing more. Sure, if I learn how to create good music, I might end up creating music that expresses awesomeness or beauty in the eyes of the audience. But, without my emotions, there'd be no awesomeness or beauty within me. I'd just be an empty vessel (an apathetic being) composing. My emotions make me more than an empty vessel. They make me a being of awesomeness, beauty, horror, etc.

Other Person's Response: Actually, according to your philosophy, if you were a being of negativity (a being of horror, disgust, tragedy, etc.), then that would make you less (inferior) compared to being an empty vessel. It's only when you're a being of positivity (a being of beauty, magnificence, love, etc.) that you become greater than an empty vessel.

My Reply: Correct. The number zero could be compared to being an empty vessel, negative numbers could be compared to being a negative being, and positive numbers could be compared to being a positive being. Negative numbers are less than 0, and positive numbers are greater than 0.

Other Person's Response: If you felt beauty, then you'd still be a being of beauty, even if you weren't feeling beauty in regards to yourself.

My Reply: Yes. That's because if I feel beauty, then I have beauty within me, since emotions are inner feelings, and me having a feeling of beauty would be my inner beauty. Having inner beauty would make me a being of beauty, regardless of what person or thing I feel beauty in regards to.

Other Person’s Response: Could you give me an example of an awesome composition you wish to create someday when you become a skilled composer?

My Reply: Yes. It would be a heavy metal composition that conveys a solar, otherworldly, bizarre, supernatural, awesome, powerful, profound, potently destructive mood. Such a composition would express a final boss battle in another dimension, where a character has otherworldly destructive powers to take down the boss. Such destructive powers would be spiritual energy blasts and beams (i.e. something you’d witness in an anime, such as Dragon Ball Z).

Other Person’s Response: Wouldn’t that final boss composition sound demonic?

My Reply: Yes, which might cause people to shy away from it. As for the type of singer for this composition, it would be the singing voice of a female, gothic, dimensional witch.

Other Person’s Response: You say you wish to create good music that expresses whatever specific scene, mood, character, atmosphere, etc. you wish to express to your audience. You’re not concerned about lyrics, which means you’re just concerned as to whether the actual music you create expresses what you want to express.

My Reply: Yes. That requires talent, and I’m not sure if I have it. I claim I have this talent because I’m claiming I’m naturally creating such music in my mind, and that I’m just not good at accurately transcribing it. I really don’t know if that’s the case though. I could just be creating musical rubbish in my mind that I think is good, memorable, catchy, and expresses what I want to express. If that’s the case, then I never had this musical talent, which means, even if the music in my mind was accurately transcribed, it would still be nonsensical rubbish.

Other Person’s Response: What if it’s the case you never had this musical talent?

My Reply: Then I’m not sure if I’ll ever be capable of developing this talent. I could certainly create some good music by studying and following the rules of music theory. But, I wouldn’t have the talent of creating memorable music that expresses what I want to express to my audience. In other words, I’d just be the average person creating good music. But, I wouldn’t be someone like a video game or anime composer who’s able to create memorable theme songs that bring out the very essence of characters, atmospheres, etc. For example, I wouldn’t be able to create the type of music you hear in Sonic the Hedgehog video games. I just wouldn’t be able to musically express the zones, atmospheres, characters, etc.

Other Person’s Response: So, if you never had this talent, then let’s pretend someone asked you to create a Valentine’s Day theme song. The only theme you’d be able to create is something that follows the rules of music theory. But, said theme wouldn’t express love, which means it wouldn’t be a Valentine’s Day theme.

My Reply: Correct. I wouldn’t be able to express the very essence of Valentine’s Day through a composition. But, even if I did manage to create a theme that I thought expressed Valentine’s Day, it might not actually express it. So, if the audience were to listen to my theme, it might express something entirely different for them.

Other Person’s Response: If someone wanted to express love to someone through words (lyrics), then that would be quite simple. He could write the lyrics: “You will always be there in my heart.” But, when it comes to writing a melody that expresses that sentence, it’s not so simple because it’s not so obvious. It all comes down to the person’s instincts, imagination, and creativity in creating a melody that he thinks expresses that sentence (and, of course, it also comes down to some knowledge of music theory).

But, music theory can’t teach you how to create melodies that express what you want to express though. So, if that person ends up creating a melody that doesn’t express that sentence at all, then he’s unfortunate in terms of being a composer. Even though he’s able to express what he wants to express to his audience through lyrics, he’s unable to do so through the music he composes.

My Reply: What makes composition tricky is that you can be taught how to write sentences, lyrics, or messages that express what you want to express. But, that’s not the case when writing music. Sure, music theory can teach you scales, which are different moods. But, it can’t teach you how to write melodies and themes that express whatever specific idea, message, character, etc. you have in mind. For example, the Harry Potter theme song (Hedwig’s theme) is in the scale of A minor.

But, that scale is merely the setup for the theme, and doesn’t capture the world of Harry Potter on its own. That’s why any instrumental song written in A minor wouldn’t be a suitable theme for Harry Potter. It’s Hedwig’s theme that captures Harry Potter in a memorable way. So, music theory just gives you the tools you need, such as scales, chords, etc. But, it can’t teach you how to capture certain worlds, atmospheres, characters, etc. through compositions.

Other Person’s Response: Since music theory can’t teach you this, then it’s something you either have or don’t have. What if you don’t have it? Perhaps you should take up a different field of art to express what you wish to express to your audience.

My Reply: I’ve heard people tell me that I should write stories, lyrics, or poetry, since I’m already a good writer, and I could express what I want to express through writing. But, composing is the only field of art I’m interested in because music is so meaningful, powerful, and profound for me. So, if I have no composing talent, and can never develop one, then I’m giving up composing and going back to my previous hobby, which is playing video games. Even if I eventually composed good music, that’s not enough. My music needs to express what I want to express to my audience. Like I said, if I can’t achieve this goal, I’m giving up composing.

Other Person's Response: So, you're saying, even if you do learn how to create good melodies, you might not know how to express what you want to express through melody writing? You might not know how to communicate what you want to communicate to the audience through melody writing?

My Reply: That's what I'm saying. Hopefully, that won't be the case. Many good composers are able to express what they want to express to the audience through the music they write. Not just in terms of lyrics, but also through the melodies they write. That's why you see so many people saying that a particular song, melody, or theme expresses something specific. They could say a particular melody expresses adventure, or collecting a secret item. That's my goal is to express myself to the audience through songs, melodies, and themes.

Other Person’s Response: If you don’t have the ability to musically express yourself, then that means you could write a melody that you think expresses someone coming along and showing kindness. But, the melody wouldn’t express that at all for the audience.

My Reply: Correct. Also, imagine if a famous nursery rhyme still had the same lyrics, but a completely different melody that didn't express the intended scene or message. The lyrics would be great and memorable. But, the melody just wouldn’t capture those lyrics.

Other Person’s Response: You wish to express what you want to express through composition because you wish to evoke the reaction you want to evoke within your audience?

My Reply: Yes. If my music is expressing what I want to express for the audience, then that means the audience is getting the response/reaction I want from my music.

Other Person's Response: It seems you're just bragging about yourself. You think you have some awesome tunes in your head to share to the world, and you don't.

My Reply: I'm claiming everyone's brain is naturally capable of creating great works of art in their heads. If not everyone, then many people can do this. I explain why this is later on. So, I'm not just bragging about myself here. Also, I'm open-minded towards the possibility that I'm creating rubbish music in my mind that I just think is great, and expresses the scenes I described. I'm also open-minded towards the possibility that the music I'm creating in my head is great, and really does express the scenes I described. So, consider everything I've written to be a claim I'm open-minded to. Don't consider it to be the written material of a bragging narcissist.

Other Person’s Response: There are people who are able to figure out what sounds good on an instrument, and create good music that expresses what they want to express, without studying up on any music theory. But, then there are those who absolutely need the aid of music theory education because they can’t get anywhere in composing without it. I think you’re the latter type who’s creating rubbish melodies in his mind and on an instrument. So, you don’t have a natural, musical talent, which means you need to educate and train yourself.

My Reply: Just because I’m unable to create good music that expresses what I want to express on an instrument, or in a music notation software, doesn’t mean I’m unable to create such music in my mind. So, it could be the case that I’m creating awesome music in my head, and that I’m just bad at transcribing it.

Other Person’s Response: If you can naturally create awesome music in your mind that expresses what you want to express, then you should be able to do so on an instrument or in a music notation software.

My Reply: Creating music in my head isn’t the same thing as creating music on an instrument or in a music notation software. In my head, I can automatically and easily create an awesome, powerful, profound melody. But, it’s much more difficult for me when it comes to creating such music on an instrument or in a music notation software. I just can’t do it without the aid of music theory education, as well as some ear training.

Again, it would be like a situation where a person is able to naturally create an awesome drawing in his mind, but is unable to create any good drawing on paper or in a computer software. So, a person can be bad at creating works of art in the physical world. But, that doesn’t mean he’s not a mental, artistic genius who can naturally create awesome works of art in his mind.

Other Person’s Response: You claim you’re able to create awesome melodies in your mind through pure instinct alone.

My Reply: Yes. I’m able to do so through inspiration alone.

Other Person's Response: You're lacking in so many areas. You're very dumb, you have a hard time understanding things, you can't decide on controversial topics, you have a poor, shallow, weak philosophy, you have very little endurance when it comes to physical exercise, etc.

My Reply: I ask myself what amazing ability I do have, despite all my weaknesses. I suspect I might have this amazing ability of naturally creating awesome music in my mind.

Other Person's Response: According to you, everyone has this ability, since everyone's brain is naturally capable of creating awesome works of art. So, if you have this ability, then it wouldn't be special or amazing, considering that everyone else has this ability.

My Reply: But, what is special and amazing is the type of music I'm creating in my mind. It's bizarre, unique music that conveys powerful and profound emotion. It's unlike the lame, stale, mediocre music that you hear on the radio all the time.
Other Person's Response: I'm just curious. Do you wish to learn how to play an instrument or sing? Or, do you wish to just learn how to create good melodies and share them?

My Reply: I don't want to play an instrument or sing. I just wish to share my music.

Other Person's Response: During your miserable moments, do you give up composing?

My Reply: Yes. This is because I have all these subconscious, negative thoughts during said moments that make me feel negative emotions, such as misery, hate, rage, the desire to give up, etc. But, once I'm fully recovered from these miserable moments, and have my positive emotions back to me, I could experience the most difficult learning curve when learning music theory, I could make many mistakes, and fail many times. But, I'd still be positive and optimistic the whole way through, since there are positive thoughts making me feel positive emotions now. All those previous negative thoughts, and emotions, would be gone. So, I'd actually enjoy the whole learning process.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 2/12)

Other Person's Response: In the folders that contains your musical tunes, and their music sheets, you only share a few of your melodies. Yet, in this packet, you share a lot of your melodies. Why is that?

My Reply: It's because the ones in my folder are better than the ones in this packet, and I just wish to share my most recent, best melodies. I think the melodies in my folder follow the rules of melody writing to a much better degree than all the other melodies I share in this packet. As I point out later on in this packet, I've learned there are rules to melody writing, and my melodies must follow these rules in order for them to sound good.

Other Person's Response: Do you proselytize the things you've written?

My Reply: Yes. I share some of the things I've written on online forums. People are doubtful about my claims, and I wish to clear things up for these people in the hopes they'll agree with me.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your melodies, is it the instrument choice you've made for your melodies that makes you think your melodies convey powerful scenes? There's more to music than having instruments. The melodies themselves must convey certain scenes.

My Reply: It's not the instrument choice. I really think my melodies convey powerful and profound scenes. An example would be my Haunting Tune because I think the melody conveys powerful and profound horror, regardless of what instrument I had playing the melody. Other people have yet to realize the power and greatness this melody has. Like I said, only I can see its power and greatness. Every time I listen to my melodies, they always convey the exact same, powerful scenes to me.

Other Person's Response: I think you're talking nonsense. Even if you did perfectly transcribe the melodies you've naturally created in your mind, there'd be no power and greatness whatsoever to these melodies that has yet to be conveyed to the audience. There's no way to make these melodies work because they'll always be senseless rubbish, regardless of what you try to do with them!

My Reply: I'm hoping there is a way to somehow make them work, I just don't agree that they would be senseless rubbish, and I think there's power and greatness to these melodies that has yet to be conveyed to the audience. Perhaps a music teacher, or a professional composer, can make them work. In other words, maybe they can find a way to convey the power and greatness of my accurately transcribed melodies for other listeners. If not, then I'd have to find a way to convey their power and greatness myself.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I don't think you're coming up with any good melodies in your mind. What good ideas are you able to come up with though?

My Reply: They'd be simple ideas, such as video game or movie titles. For example, I came up with the title "Star Trek Dimensions." There are Star Trek movies out there titled "Star Trek Beyond," and "Star Trek Discovery." I came up with the next title called "Star Trek Dimensions." After all, there was a Sonic the Hedgehog game to be released called "Sonic Dimensions." But, that game didn't get released.

So, I thought that "Dimensions" would go well with a new Star Trek title. Especially since Star Trek involves the cosmos, other dimensions, etc. I also came up with 2 Super Mario titles, which would be "Super Mario Palace," and "Super Mario Casino." I also come up with simple, comedy scenes (such as Family Guy scenes).

Since my knowledge and experience is so limited, I'm limited to coming up with simple ideas, rather than complicated ideas that require a rich level of knowledge and experience, such as good stories for movies, or new, awesome inventions that work.

Even my own vocabulary is limited, which means it would be difficult for me to come up with a very amazing movie or video game title. But, even though my ideas are simple, I still think they're good ideas worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Could you share another one of these good ideas you have?

My Reply: Sure. There's an anime titled "Inuyasha." The word "inu" is the Japanese word for "dog," and the word "yasha" is the Japanese word for "demon." The main character in the anime is Inuyasha himself, who's a dog demon. My idea would be a new series of Inuyasha titled "Inutenshi." The word "tenshi" is the Japanese word for "angel." So, the character Inuyasha would be a dog angel in this new series, rather than a dog demon.

Thus, Inuyasha's new name would be Inutenshi. Many Inuyasha fan girls have found the character Inuyasha very attractive. But, they might find the character Inutenshi much more attractive. Whether this idea of mine is a good idea that would actually work is something I don't know. It's just a random idea I'm throwing out there. Hopefully, it's a good idea that would work.

Other Person's Response: Could you share another movie title you came up with?

My Reply: Sure. It would be a new Sonic the Hedgehog movie titled "Sonic: In the Blink of an Eye." Since Sonic is so fast, then that title makes sense, and I think it's a good title.

Other Person’s Response: Could you share another video game title you came up with?

My Reply: Sure. There are already Super Smash Bros. games out there titled “Super Smash Bros. Melee, “Super Smash Bros. Brawl,” and “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.” The title I came up with would be “Super Smash Bros. Elites.”

Other Person's Response: You say you're naturally coming up with awesome, amazing tunes in your head. So, why couldn't you naturally come up with amazing titles, or new, amazing inventions?

My Reply: It's because my brain hasn't naturally learned the things necessary to come up with these amazing titles and inventions. For example, I never immersed my mind in stories, or literature filled with rich vocabulary. Had I done this throughout my life, my brain would've naturally learned the rich vocabulary I'd need to come up with amazing movie or video game titles.

Actually, I'd need to figure out what these big words mean if I were to read them in stories or literature throughout my life. Then I'd have the vocabulary I need to naturally come up with great titles. Like I said, this hasn't happened. But, since I've listened to music my whole life, whether it be through playing video games, watching movies, or listening to music on the radio while driving, my brain has naturally learned the rules of music theory. Thus, I'm able to naturally come up with awesome music in my mind.

Other Person's Response: I heard you're no good at tasks that require thought, planning, and a rich level of knowledge and experience. That's why you fail when it comes to things, such as skeptical and rational thinking. You have a difficult time trying to discover the truth as to whether conspiracy theories are true or not, whether vaccines are harmful or not, or whether the afterlife exists or not.

You can't decide what's true, and you give up, since you're not skilled at this. You have no interest in this anyway, which is another reason why you give up on it. Creating great music is also something that requires knowledge, experience, thought, and planning. So, it's no wonder you're not creating any good, sensible melodies!

My Reply: But, I'm skilled at certain tasks that don't require much thought at all, such as playing video games. When I play Super Mario, I just enjoy collecting items, and completing the levels. I don't think about anything, and I just have fun. I'm not the best player in the world. But, I did have people compliment me on my level of skill.

Now, even though I'm currently not a skilled composer who's making music other people love to listen to, music means so much to me, which is why I'm not giving up on composing just yet. I've put my video gaming hobby on hold in the hopes that I can become a skilled composer someday. If I can't, then I'm giving up composing, and going back to playing video games. So, composing is the new hobby I've recently taken up, and I'm no longer playing video games.

Other Person's Response: You say you can't decide what's true. Does that mean you're also undecided as to whether you're making awesome melodies in your head?

My Reply: Correct. It's possible I'm just creating senseless, rubbish melodies in my mind. Then again, I could be making awesome and powerful melodies in my mind.

Other Person's Response: Are you deaf? There are deaf composers out there.

My Reply: I'm not deaf. My hearing is just fine. I'm also not blind either, and my sight is just fine.

Other Person's Response: Are you tone deaf?

My Reply: No. I can hear the difference between tones and semitones.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you were deaf. Would you give up composing? Beethoven was deaf, and he didn't give up.

My Reply: I'd still pursue my composing dream to see how it works out for me. If I don't want to do it anymore, then I'd give up on it.

Other Person's Response: What makes you think you're creating really good tunes in your head? For all we know, they could be crap tunes.

My Reply: As I said before, I have autism, and it's said that autistic people are gifted. People who are gifted tend to be incapable in other areas, and highly advanced in one area, and I think I could be that person. I think I might be creating really good music in my mind that I have yet to share to the world. Once people recognize its greatness, they should see me in a whole new light. There's also another reason why, and I explain later on.

Other Person's Response: I heard some autistic people are savants, and you say you have autism. But, that doesn't mean you're a savant.

My Reply: That could be so. But, still, maybe having autism does give me an upper hand when it comes to creating music in my head because I think the melodies I'm creating in my head are awesome.

Other Person's Response: When people go on psychedelic trips, are they literally entering different realms? Or, are they just hallucinating?

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: If our brains aren't naturally capable of creating great works of art in our minds, and the works of art that are witnessed during drug trips and dreams are great works of art, then that must mean these great works of art reside in actual realms, visited by our minds or souls. Our minds would peer into other realms during dreams, and they'd detach from our physical body, and visit realms during drug trips.

My Reply: That could be. I don't know.

Other Person's Response: If our brains are receivers, then they could be receiving great works of art, when we channel inspiration. Maybe that's how great works of art become naturally created in our minds.

My Reply: I'm not sure about that. It seems I naturally know how to create great works of art in my mind. So, I think it's just my brain naturally knowing how to do this. But, I'll admit, there were times I was drifting asleep, and whole new images instantly popped up in my mind that I've never seen before, as well as whole new melodies with beautiful, bizarre instruments I've never heard. So, it seems like my brain was receiving music, just like a radio, receiving signals. That even applies to the images that were automatically created in my mind. But, like I said, it could just be my brain, naturally knowing how to create new, great works of art in my mind.

Other Person's Response: Only savants can naturally create great works of art in their minds, and there are few savants.

My Reply: You don't need to be a savant to naturally create great works of art in your mind. I talk about this when I say our brains naturally create whole new, great works of art during dreams, drug trips, and near death experiences.

Other Person's Response: I think you're talking nonsense! Our brains don't naturally create great works of art, whether it be through dreams, drug trips, or any other method!

My Reply: Haven't you ever had a dream of any given environment, or scene, that you never witnessed before? I bet you have. For example, you could dream of a scene in Harry Potter that never happened, such as Harry opening up a portal, and flying in a futuristic, technological city. This shows our brains do have this natural capability to create great artwork. I, myself, had a dream of a labyrinth version of my old home.

My old home became a beautiful, complex, work of art in this dream. I think our brains can create much more complex, amazing works of art through dreams and drug trips than our normal, waking life because perhaps certain mental processes are being more dedicated towards these astonishing tasks.

Other Person's Response: Could you explain to me another dream you had?

My Reply: Sure. I had a dream of a scene in the show Futurama, which was a scene that never happened. I'm not sure if you've ever watched that show. But, I'll explain the dream anyway. The character Fry is a cunning psychopath in this dream (although, that's not his normal personality in the actual show). He takes on many tough opponents, and defeats them one by one. Each opponent is given his/her scene, and Fry is shown defeating each opponent.

There's one scene where there are 2 robots fighting each other in the alley. The 1st robot keeps on beating down the 2nd one. But, the 2nd one keeps on getting back up, since he's a very tough opponent. Fry then comes along to the very entrance of the alley with a female robot he's created himself. I'd call this female robot the 3rd robot. This robot resembles the wife of the 2nd robot. Fry and the 3rd robot make out, and the 2nd robot becomes devastated and heart-broken upon seeing this.

That devastation causes the 2nd robot to literally fall apart into pieces. Thus, the 2nd robot becomes defeated. Fry had a cunning trick to defeat the 2nd robot. Once he's defeated, Fry gives a sinister smile. So, there's my dream. As you can see, this dream I had was a good work of art that conveyed deep meaning. The deep meaning it conveyed was that even the most tough people can be beaten down by moments, such as his wife cheating on him. You could call it deep meaning, or simply a life lesson.

Other Person's Response: You say Fry is the cunning one in this dream. But, you're the cunning one, since it's your brain that created this scene. So, that makes you the cunning artist.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: In this packet, you talk about a comical scene you made during your waking life, which involves a tough guy who's unbeatable. There are other tough guys who slam their fists into him, and it doesn't phase him at all. Then, a little kitten comes along, scratches the tough guy's leg, and that defeats him. It seems the Futurama scene you dreamed of is sort of like an improvised version of that comical scene you made in your waking life.

My Reply: I agree. I think that Futurama scene I dreamed of is better than the tough guy scene I made in my waking life.

Other Person's Response: Could you share another comedy scene?

My Reply: Sure. This is a Family Guy comedy scene I made. There's a fitness coach who's putting women through hardcore training. The coach is giving them more than they can handle. Peter meets one of the women. She literally looks like a walking stick, since she's so thin, and her eyes are literally the size of bowling balls. She shows Peter a photo of herself when she was fat.

In the photo, she's an obese, Asian woman, with small, beady eyes. She tells Peter this is who she used to be. Now, through the coach's training, she has transformed her entire look. Instead of having a fat body and small eyes, she has a thin body and fat eyes. Peter becomes outraged at the sight of her new, unhealthy appearance, and exclaims: "That's it! That coach needs a stern talking to, since he's pushing these girls way too far!"

Other Person's Response: That Family Guy comedy scene was very short!

My Reply: I think it's good enough. I think it's a good work of comedy as it stands. People just need to lower their standards, so they can appreciate this comical scene, and any others I make.

Other Person's Response: I really love your comedy scenes. Forget those other people who dislike them because I can appreciate them. So, could you share another one?

My Reply: Sure. Now, this one is a Dragon Ball Z one. If you've ever watched the anime Dragon Ball Z, there's an evil, psychotic character in that show named "Buu." I've created my own comedy scene based off of this character. So, here it is:

The evil Buu arrives at a victim's door, and he gently knocks on the door, while saying in a sinister tone of voice:

Buu: "Knock knock."

Victim: "Who's there?"

Buu: "Buu."

Victim: "Buu who?"

Buu: "Stop your crying. We all have to die someday."

After which, Buu breaks in and kills the unsuspecting victim.

*Note: If you didn't get the joke, the term "boo hoo" refers to someone who cries.*

Other Person's Response: I love SpongeBob! So, could you share a SpongeBob comedy scene you made?

My Reply: Sure. The Flying Dutchman arrives to steal SpongeBob's soul. Before he takes SpongeBob's soul, he asks:

"What do you get when you take the 'Bob' out of 'SpongeBob?'"

Patrick says:

"I don't know."

The Flying Dutchman answers in an exclamatory tone:

"JUST A SPONGE!!!"

The Flying Dutchman then steals SpongeBob's soul, and SpongeBob is left lying on the ground. He appears as nothing more than a sponge with no face. That's because he's nothing more than a soulless vessel now.

Patrick is saddened by this event. But, a guy, whose name is "Bob," stands next to the soulless sponge. Patrick looks at the sponge, then Bob, and he puts those two things together, and concludes:

"Yipee! SpongeBob, you're back to life! We just need to put you back inside your body."

Patrick takes SpongeBob's body, makes an opening in it, and wears it over Bob. Patrick and this SpongeBob imposter then have a jolly time together, going about their daily lives. Take note that Patrick is the very dumb character in the show, which is why my comedy scene portrays him as dumb.

Other Person's Response: You say we have dreams where we witness things we've never witnessed before.

My Reply: Yes. We have these dreams and nightmares all the time. For example, you could witness one of your family members doing something they never did in reality.

Other Person's Response: I do agree we have dreams where we witness and hear things we've never heard and seen before. But, I don't agree they're great works of art. I just don't agree that our brains are naturally capable of creating great works of art in our heads.

My Reply: Think of an awesome, vivid dream you had. Are you sure that dream wasn't a great work of art?

Other Person's Response: How do our brains naturally create great works of art?

My Reply: Maybe our brains can take already-existing information, whether it be from a show or anything else, and create whole new scenes and works of art that are wonderful, glorious, beautiful, and amazing. As you can see here, we don't have to know anything about how to create works of art; our brains will create amazing works of art for us through inspiration, dreams, etc.

That's how I'm creating these amazing themes and tunes in my head through inspiration alone without knowing anything about composing. Technically, our brains do have a form of knowledge that allows us to naturally create great works of art in our heads because, without any knowledge of how to do that, then our brains wouldn't have the ability to create great artwork. I think it would be an instinctive form of knowledge, and not the type of knowledge one would gain from studying up on things.

Other Person's Response: Do you have any article that supports your claim that our brains have an instinctive form of knowledge that allows us to naturally create great works of art in our minds?

My Reply: Yes, actually. In this article, it talks about how we instinctively know things about music. They're things we know, but we don't know how we know them. It's called "statistical learning." I think we as human beings naturally learn what series of notes and rests convey the power, meaning, and emotion we want to convey. It's no different than how we naturally learn the English language, and choose a series of words to convey the power, meaning, and emotion we want to convey. I think that's how we're able to naturally create great and powerful melodies, or themes, in our minds. Here's the article:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-music-in-you

Other Person's Response: Even if you are naturally creating great music in your head, that doesn't make you a great artist. A truly great artist is someone who takes the time to learn and train himself to convey his artistic vision.

My Reply: I disagree. I think I'm a great, professional artist on the inside, since I'm creating great music in my head. I'm just not a professional artist on the outside, since I can't make any good music in the real, physical world.

Other Person's Response: You shared this article, and you're giving all your supporting arguments to support this idea that you're some sort of gifted, amazing composer in your head. I think it's all lies just to make yourself look great. I think you know deep down that you have no musical talent, and amount to nothing as a composer.

My Reply: That's not true. I'm undecided as to whether I really am this awesome, musical artist who's creating great music in his mind, or if I'm creating rubbish music in my mind that I just think is great.

Other Person's Response: In that article, it says we naturally have as much musical knowledge as an expert musician. Therefore, I think our brains really are naturally capable of creating great music. Our brains can make use of that knowledge to create some awesome music in our heads.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If you really must create music by training and educating yourself, rather than relying on your inspiration alone, then it's still possible you can naturally create awesome music in your mind that expresses what you wish to express. But, only providing that you have much musical training and education. Only trained professionals can naturally create such music in their minds.

My Reply: In that article I gave a link to, it says we already have a professional level of musical knowledge, naturally ingrained within us. That means I already am a professional composer in my own head who can naturally create such music in his mind.

So, I don't think I even need to create music the hard way (or the tedious, intellectual way of creating a melody on the keyboard from scratch, and making sure the notes I choose on the keyboard not only adhere to the rules of melody writing, but make a melody that conveys something memorable, great, and expresses the scene, moment, or character I wish to express).

Instead, I'd simply have to accurately transcribe the awesome music I've naturally created in my mind, which already meets all those criteria I mentioned above in parenthesis. From there, I'd have to somehow convey the power and greatness of this accurately transcribed music to the audience. Lastly, I will quote something from the article:

"But the more psychologists investigate musicality, the more it seems that nearly all of us are musical experts, in quite a startling sense. The difference between a virtuoso performer and an ordinary music fan is much smaller than the gulf between that fan and someone with no musical knowledge at all."

Other Person's Response: Since brains can naturally create great works of art with no effort at all (an example being drug trips), then that means brains effortlessly follow artistic rules to create the beautiful landscapes, beings, and music during drug trips. Given this, why couldn't your brain naturally create awesome, powerful music through inspiration alone with hardly any effort?

My Reply: Exactly. The only effort I'd need to put in would be imagining whatever scene or character I wish to create a theme or melody for, when naturally creating awesome music in my mind. Imagining these things would get my inspiration all pumped up. I'd also have to channel the emotion I wish to express when creating music in my mind.

If I create music in my mind without channeling powerful and profound emotion, then, chances are, the music wouldn't turn out to be that powerful and profound. So, I think creating awesome music in my mind is simply a matter of imagining and channeling emotion.

I don't think it has to be an intellectual process of thinking about the rules, and making sure I've chosen the right notes and rests in my mind that follow these rules. I'd be a bit disappointed if this intellectual process really was necessary because it would make matters tedious and difficult.

Other Person's Response: I admit, our brains are amazing, complex organs. But, that doesn't mean we're gods who can naturally create awesome works of art in our heads.

My Reply: I mentioned earlier I had a dream of a labyrinth version of my old home, and how it was this beautiful, complex work of art. If I attempted to draw that scene, the drawing would be awful. But, if I could somehow record my dreams, and share the actual image I dreamed of, I bet people would say it's a beautiful work of art. As a matter of fact, if we could all record our dreams, I bet they'd be great works of art to share to others. That means even complete novices could share great works of art they've naturally created in their own minds.

Other Person's Response: Your attitude or mindset of believing you're this naturally gifted musician won't get you very far. Nobody can naturally create great music in their heads!

My Reply: I think such an attitude/mindset is something to be proud of because it's being your own boss or master in your own head. You get to be the awesome musician in your own head, and you don't have to study anything. Of course, you do have to learn things and undergo musical training if you wish to successfully convey the awesome music you hear in your head to others. But, in terms of creating awesome works of art in your head, you're the master and boss of that. You can be the natural professional!

Other Person's Response: Even if we could somehow record the works of art we naturally create in our minds, I don't think they'd be good works of art. You have to literally be an experienced professional to create good works of art in your head. That's not a natural ability an average person can have.

My Reply: Personally, I think they would be good works of art. Also, our mentally created works don't have to be the complex craft of an artistic mastermind to be something great. Even simple works of art can be great. When we naturally create works of art in our heads, sometimes, they can be complex crafts while, other times, they can be simple and great. That labyrinth I dreamed of would be an example of a complex, great work of art. But, the simple tunes I'm creating in my head would be an example of a simple work of art.

Other Person's Response: A work of art has to meet certain qualifications to be classified as "good", "awesome," or "great." I'm not sure if our dreams would classify as great works of art.

My Reply: If we were to record our dreams and have professional artists look at them, I bet they would meet these qualifications.

Other Person's Response: I don't have internet access. Even if I did, I’m not allowed to access certain websites. So, could you share the article right there?

My Reply:

The Music in You

(Written by Elizabeth Hellmuth Margulis)

You might not be a virtuoso, but you have remarkable musical abilities. You just don't know about them yet.

Twenty years ago, a pair of psychologists hooked up a shoe to a computer. They were trying to teach it to tap in time with a national anthem. However, the job was proving much tougher than anticipated. Just moving to beat-dominated music, they found, required a grasp of tonal organisation and musical structure that seemed beyond the reach of an ordinary person without special training. But how could that be? Any partygoer can fake a smile, reach for a cheese cube and tap her heel to an unfamiliar song without so much as a thought. Yet when the guy she’s been chatting with tells her that he’s a musician, she might reply: ‘Music? I don’t know anything about that.’

Maybe you’ve heard a variation on this theme: ‘I can’t carry a tune to save my life.’ Or: ‘I don’t have a musical bone in my body.’ Most of us end up making music publicly just a few times a year, when it’s someone’s birthday and the cake comes out. Privately, it’s a different story – we belt out tunes in the shower and create elaborate rhythm tracks on our steering wheel. But when we think about musical expertise, we tend to imagine professionals who specialise in performance, people we’d pay to hear. As for the rest of us, our bumbling, private efforts — rather than illustrating that we share an irresistible impulse to make music — seem only to demonstrate that we lack some essential musical capacity.

But the more psychologists investigate musicality, the more it seems that nearly all of us are musical experts, in quite a startling sense. The difference between a virtuoso performer and an ordinary music fan is much smaller than the gulf between that fan and someone with no musical knowledge at all. What’s more, a lot of the most interesting and substantial elements of musicality are things that we (nearly) all share. We aren’t talking about instinctive, inborn universals here. Our musical knowledge is learned, the product of long experience; maybe not years spent over an instrument, but a lifetime spent absorbing music from the open window of every passing car.

So why don’t we realise how much we know? And what does that hidden mass of knowledge tell us about the nature of music itself? The answers to these questions are just starting to fall into place.

The first is relatively simple. Much of our knowledge about music is implicit: it only emerges in behaviours that seem effortless, like clapping along to a beat or experiencing chills at the entry of a certain chord. And while we might not give a thought to the hidden cognitions that made these feats possible, psychologists and neuroscientists have begun to peek under the hood to discover just how much expertise these basic skills rely on. What they are discovering is that musicality emerges in ways that parallel the development of language. In particular, the capacity to respond to music and the ability to learn language rest upon an amazing piece of statistical machinery, one that keeps whirring away in the background of our minds, hidden from view.

Consider the situation of infants learning to segment the speech stream – that is, learning to break up the continuous babble around them into individual words. You can’t ask babies if they know where one word stops and a new one begins, but you can see this knowledge emerge in their responses to the world around them. They might, for example, start to shake their heads when you ask if they’d like squash.

To investigate how this kind of verbal knowledge takes shape, in 1996 the psychologists Jenny Saffran, Richard Aslin and Elissa Newport, then all at the University of Rochester in New York, came up with an ingenious experiment. They played infants strings of nonsense syllables – sound-sequences such as bidakupado. This stream of syllables was organised according to strict rules: da followed bi 100 per cent of the time, for example, but pa followed ku only a third of the time. These low-probability transitions were the only boundaries between ‘words’. There were no pauses or other distinguishing features to demarcate the units of sound.

It has long been observed that eight-month-old infants attend reliably longer to stimuli that are new to them. The researchers ran a test that took advantage of this peculiar fact. After the babies had been exposed to this pseudolanguage for an extended period of time, the psychologists measured how long babies spent turning their heads toward three-syllable units drawn from the stream. The babies tended to listen only briefly to ‘words’ (units within which the probability of each syllabic transition had been 100 per cent) but to stare curiously in the direction of the ‘non-words’ (that is, units which included low-probability transitions). And since absolutely the only thing distinguishing words from non-words within this onslaught of gibberish was the transition probabilities from syllable to syllable, the infants’ reactions revealed that they had absorbed the statistical properties of the language.

This ability to track statistics about our environment without knowing we’re doing so turns out to be a general feature of human cognition. It is called statistical learning, and it is thought to underlie our earliest ability to understand what combinations of syllables count as words in the complex linguistic environment that surrounds us during infancy. What’s more, something similar seems to happen with music.

In 1999, the same authors, working with their colleague Elizabeth Johnson, demonstrated that infants and adults alike track the statistical properties of tone sequences. In other words, you don’t have to play the guitar or study music theory to build up a nuanced sense of which notes tend to follow which other notes in a particular repertoire: simply being exposed to music is enough. And just as a baby cannot describe her verbal learning process, only revealing her achievement by frowning at the word squash, the adult who has used statistical learning to make sense of music will reveal her knowledge expressively, clenching her teeth when a particularly fraught chord arises and relaxing when it resolves. She has acquired a deep, unconscious understanding of how chords relate to one another.

It’s easy to test out the basics of this acquired knowledge on your friends. Play someone a simple major scale, Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol-La-Ti, but withhold the final Do and watch even the most avowed musical ignoramus start to squirm or even finish the scale for you. Living in a culture where most music is built on this scale is enough to develop what seems less like the knowledge and more like the feeling that this Ti must resolve to a Do.

Psychologists such as Emmanuel Bigand of the University of Burgundy in France and Carol Lynne Krumhansl of Cornell University in New York have used more formal methods to demonstrate implicit knowledge of tonal structure. In experiments that asked people to rate how well individual tones fitted with an established context, people without any training demonstrated a robust feel for pitch that seemed to indicate a complex understanding of tonal theory. That might surprise most music majors at US universities, who often don’t learn to analyse and describe the tonal system until they get there, and struggle with it then. Yet what’s difficult is not understanding the tonal system itself – it’s making this knowledge explicit. We all know the basics of how pitches relate to each other in Western tonal systems; we simply don’t know that we know.

Studies in my lab at the University of Arkansas have shown that people without any special training can even hear a pause in music as either tense or relaxed, short or long, depending on the position of the preceding sounds within the governing tonality. In other words, our implicit understanding of tonal properties can infuse even moments of silence with musical power. And it’s worth emphasising that these seemingly natural responses arise after years of exposure to tonal music.

When people grow up in places where music is constructed out of different scales, they acquire similarly natural responses to quite different musical elements. Research I’ve done with Patrick Wong of Northwestern University in Illinois has demonstrated that people raised in households where they listen to music using different tonal systems (both Indian classical and Western classical music, for example) acquire a convincing kind of bi-musicality, without having played a note on a sitar or a violin. So strong is our proclivity for making sense of sound that mere listening is enough to build a deeply internalised mastery of the basic materials of whatever music surrounds us.

Other, subtler musical accomplishments also seem to be widespread in the population. By definition, hearing tonally means hearing pitches in reference to a central governing pitch, the tonic. Your fellow partygoers might start a round of Happy Birthday on one pitch this weekend and another pitch the next, and the reason both renditions sound like the same song is that each pitch is heard most saliently not in terms of its particular frequency, but in terms of how it relates to the pitches around it. As long as the pattern is the same, it doesn’t matter if the individual notes are different. This capacity to hear these patterns is called relative pitch.

Relative pitch is a commonplace skill, one that develops naturally on exposure to the ordinary musical environment. People tend to invest more prestige in absolute pitch, because it’s rare. Shared by approximately 1 in 10,000 people, absolute pitch is the ability to recognise not a note’s relations to its neighbours, but its approximate acoustic frequency. People with absolute or ‘perfect’ pitch can tell you that your vacuum cleaner buzzes on an F# or your doorbell starts ringing on a B. This can seem prodigious. And yet it turns out not to be so far from what the rest of us can do normally.

A number of studies have shown that many of the other 9,999 people retain some vestige of absolute pitch. The psychologists Andrea Halpern of Bucknell University in Pennsylvania and Daniel Levitin of McGill University in Quebec both independently demonstrated that people without special training tend to start familiar songs on or very near the correct note. When people start humming Hotel California, for example, they do it at pretty much the same pitch as the Eagles. Similarly, E Glenn Schellenberg and Sandra Trehub, psychologists at the University of Toronto, have shown that people without special training can distinguish the original versions of familiar TV theme songs from versions that have been transposed to start on a different pitch. ‘The Siiiiiimp-sons’ just doesn’t sound right any other way.

It looks, then, like pitch processing among ordinary people shares many qualities with those gifted 1-in-10,000. Furthermore, from a certain angle, relational hearing might be more crucial to our experience of music. Much of the expressive power of tonal music (a category that encompasses most of the music we hear) comes out of the phenomenological qualities – tension, relaxation, and so on – that pitches seem to possess when we hear them relationally.

Musical sensitivity depends on the ability to abstract away the surface characteristics of a pitch and hear it relationally, so that a B seems relaxed in one context but tense in another. So, perhaps the ‘only-prodigies-need-apply’ reputation of absolute pitch is undeserved at the same time that its more common relative is undervalued. Aspects of the former turn out to be shared by most everyday listeners, and relative pitch seems more critical to how we make sense of the expressive aspects of music.

Another vastly undervalued skill is just tapping along to a tune. When in 1994 Peter Desain of Radboud University in the Netherlands and Henkjan Honing of the University of Amsterdam hooked up a shoe to a computer, they found what many studies since have demonstrated: that to get a computer to find the beat in even something as plodding and steady as most national anthems you have to teach it some pretty sophisticated music theory.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 3/12)

For example, it has to recognise when phrases start and stop, and which count as repetitions of others, and it has to understand which pitches are more and less stable in the prevailing tonal context. Beats, which seem so real and evident when we’re tapping them out on the steering wheel or stomping them out on the dance floor, are just not physically present in any straightforward way in the acoustic signal.

So what is a beat, really? We experience each one as a specially accented moment separated from its neighbours by equal time intervals. Yet the musical surface is full of short notes and long notes, low notes and high notes, performed with the subtle variations in microtiming that are a hallmark of expressive performance. Out of this acoustic whirlwind, we generate a consistent and regular temporal structure that is powerful enough to make us want to move. Once we’ve grasped the pattern, we’re reluctant to let it go, even when accents in the music shift. It’s this tenacity that makes the special force of syncopation – off-beat accents – possible. If we simply shifted our perception of the beat to conform with the syncopation, it would just sound like a new set of downbeats rather than a tense and punchy contrary musical moment, but our minds stubbornly continue to impose a structure with which the new accents misalign.

In other words, perception of rhythm depends on a more general ability to synchronise with our surroundings. But this raises the question of why we might have such an ability in the first place. It seems telling that it emerges very early in parent-infant interactions. People tend to speak in specific ways to their babies: slowly, with exaggerated pitch contours, extra repetition, and regular timing (‘so big… so big… sooooooo big’). All of these are more typical of music than in ordinary speech. And it seems that these modifications help infants to engage predictively with the speech stream, anticipating what’s going to happen next, and ultimately to insert their coo or eyebrow lift at precisely the right moment to generate a sense of shared temporal orientation between parent and child, an experience that contributes to the powerful bond between them.

Music piggybacks on this ability, using it to choreograph experiences of shared temporal attention, sometimes among large groups of people. Experiences at concerts, dance clubs and religious services where lots of people move together to a beat often create a powerful sense of bonding. When music allows us to perceive time in a shared way, we sense our commonality with others more strongly.

And so the capacity to track a beat, which might seem trivial on first glance, in fact serves a larger and more significant social capacity: our ability to attend jointly in time with other people. When we feel in sync with partners, as reflected in dancing, grooving, smooth conversational turn-taking and movements aligned to the same temporal grid, we report these interactions as more satisfying and the relationships as more significant. The origins of the ability to experience communion and connection through music might lie in our very earliest social experiences, and not involve a guitar or fiddle at all.

It has often been observed that there is a special connection between music and memory. This is what allows a song such as Tom Lehrer’s The Elements (1959) to teach children the periodic table better than many chemistry courses. You don’t need to have any special training to benefit from the memory boost conferred by setting a text to music – it just works, because it’s taking advantage of your own hidden musical abilities and inclinations. Music can also absorb elements of autobiographical memory – that’s why you burst into tears in the grocery store when you hear the song that was playing when you broke up with your boyfriend. Music soaks up all kinds of memories, without us being aware of what’s happening.

What’s less well-known is that the relationship goes both ways: memory also indexes music with astonishing effectiveness. We can flip through a radio dial or playlist at high speed, almost immediately recognising whether we like what’s playing or not. In 2010, the musicologist Robert Gjerdingen of Northwestern University in Illinois showed that snippets under 400 milliseconds – literally the blink of an eye – can be sufficient for people to identify a song’s genre (whether it’s rap, country or jazz), and last year Krumhansl showed that snippets of similar length can be sufficient for people to identify an exact song (whether it’s Public Enemy’s Fight the Power or Billy Ray Cyrus’s Achy Breaky Heart). That isn’t long enough for distinctive aspects of a melody or theme to emerge; people seem to be relying on a robust and detailed representation of particular textures and timbral configurations – elements we might be very surprised to learn we’d filed away. And yet we can retrieve them almost instantly.

That fact becomes both more and less amazing when you consider just how steeped in music we all are. If all the exposure in elevators and cafés and cars and televisions and kitchen radios was put together, the average person listens to several hours of music every day. Even when it isn’t playing, music continues in our minds – more than 90 per cent of us report being gripped by a stubborn earworm at least once a week. People list their musical tastes on dating websites, using them as a proxy for their values and social affiliations. They travel amazing distances to hear their favourite band. The majority of listeners have experienced chills in response to music: actual physical symptoms. And if you add some soaring strings to an otherwise ordinary scene in a film, it might bring even the hardiest of us to tears.

So, the next time you’re tempted to claim you don’t know anything about music, pause to consider the substantial expertise you’ve acquired simply through a lifetime of exposure. Think about the many ways this knowledge manifests itself: in your ability to pick out a playlist, or get pumped up by a favourite gym song, or clap along at a performance. Just as you can hold your own in a conversation even if you don’t know how to diagram a sentence, you have an implicit understanding of music even if you don’t know a submediant from a subdominant.

In fact, for all its remarkable power, music is in good company here. Many of our most fundamental behaviours and modes of understanding are governed by similarly implicit processes. We don’t know how we come to like certain people more than others; we don’t know how we develop a sense of the goals that define our lives; we don’t know why we fall in love; yet in the very act of making these choices we reveal the effects of a host of subterranean mental processes. The fact that these responses seem so natural and normal actually speaks to their strength and universality.

When we acknowledge how, just by living and listening, we have all acquired deep musical knowledge, we must also recognise that music is not the special purview of professionals. Rather, music professionals owe their existence to the fact that we, too, are musical. Without that profound shared understanding, music would have no power to move us.

Other Person's Response: Do you have the natural ability to pick up on the beat of a song?

My Reply: I don't think I do.

Other Person's Response: Then what makes you think you have the ability to naturally create great music in your head?

My Reply: Because other natural abilities can still remain intact, even though other ones are absent. So, even though I might not have certain natural musical abilities, such as picking up on the beat of a song, I still might have the natural ability to create great music in my head.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you really do have the natural ability to pick up on the beat of a song, and that ability is just turned off, since you have no interest in grooving to a song.

My Reply: That could be so. When I listen to music, I do feel powerful and profound emotions. But, I don't groove to music. Also, I'm able to naturally create a beat for my melodies. So, maybe you're right.

Other Person's Response: According to you, we should all have a musical talent, since we can all naturally create great music in our heads.

My Reply: Correct. However, some people require dreams and drug trips to naturally create great works of art in their heads, since they can't do it in their daily life. Maybe they just need to awaken the ability to do it in their normal, daily life. I think I have because I'm naturally creating great music in my head without the need for drug trips or dreams to pull it off.

Other Person's Response: Try to come up with an idea pertaining to any given subject while having no knowledge and experience in that subject. You might think your ideas are great and meaningful. But, I dare you to share them to people experienced in these fields, and they'll tell you your ideas are nonsense. Whatever musical tunes you're inspired to create in your head will also be nonsense because you have no understanding of music theory. Your melodies will be nothing great, they'll be rubbish, and they'll make no musical sense.

My Reply: Well, I'm able to naturally speak the English language, and the things I say make sense to others, and convey powerful meaning. So, why couldn't I naturally create music in my head that also makes sense, and conveys powerful meaning? Statistical learning allows us to naturally create great ideas and works of art in our heads. But, things our brains haven't naturally learned would only render us without that natural gift. When you talk about coming up with nonsensical ideas, you'd be talking about a situation where our brains haven't learned something.

Other Person's Response: To be good at anything, that requires study and practice. Creating great works of art in our minds is no exception.

My Reply: It's obvious to me, at least, that our brains are naturally capable of creating great works of art and melodies in our heads. If you casually said the phrase: "I went to the store today," that would be an average melody because you could translate that spoken phrase into a melody. If you said or sung that same phrase differently, but with power and greatness, it would very likely be a great melody, and not just some average melody.

So, you could either say/sing that phrase in your mind in the most basic, bland way, or you could naturally say/sing it in a whole new way that makes it a great melody. When you come up with average, lame melodies, that's just your "average joe" within you speaking. But, when you bring out that awesome artist that naturally dwells within you, that's like your inner god speaking or singing an awesome melody. Of course, other people might not understand the awesome melodies you're trying to convey, and they might think they're awful.

That's why you must learn how to convey their power and greatness. Conveying a basic, lame melody would yield a meaningful melody to other listeners. But, it wouldn't be that good of a melody. As for my melodies, I don't think they're lame or awful. Once I convey them, you should realize they were awesome melodies all along. I'm just no good at conveying my melodies at this point, and that's why I must improve as an artist, so I can convey them.

Other Person's Response: All those tunes you've posted up there are utter shit! Can't you make a better tune?

My Reply: There's this one tune I've recently made that you'll hopefully like. It's one of those naturally inspired tunes, where I just create whatever melodies come to mind. In this packet, I claim people can naturally create good music in their heads, having no knowledge and experience whatsoever in composing. I think I'm naturally creating good music from within and, when you look at this recent melody I've made on the music sheet, you'll definitely see a pattern. This is the melody my mind has naturally created for me and, as it turns out, there's an actual pattern with the notes.

So, clearly, my mind is naturally creating a pattern of notes without even thinking. If my mind can do that, then why couldn't it naturally create good music? Anyway, in regards to this recent melody of mine, it's supposed to be a strange melody. It conveys a weird scene. Not something big and epic, such as a strange scene in a horror movie. But, something like a mouse doing something strange (i.e. a more trivial scene). I think it's a good, catchy melody. But, it's not an amazing, powerful melody. When you listen to it, you first hear the beat, and then, the melody along with the beat. So, here are the links to it:

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/yWm9Z6XULpM

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/strangemelody

Music Sheet (I circle the pattern of notes I see):

https://ibb.co/LvQdFqx

Other Person's Response: Why are you just sharing short tunes? Why not share to us full songs?

My Reply: Well, if the tunes I make are awful, and people aren't liking them, then it's a waste of time and effort to make a full song because the full song might be just as awful. If my tunes are rubbish, then my songs might be rubbish. So, I'm just sharing my tunes for now, and seeing how people respond to them.

Other Person's Response: I'd like to hear another new tune. This time, make it an awesome one, because I don't like hearing shit music!

My Reply: This new tune I've made, to me, conveys a scene that's heavy, dark, and ominous. I think it's like one of those awesome, ominous tunes you hear in video games. Again, this is just a short tune (a short example) I'm sharing for now. I'm not sharing full themes or songs yet. Every time I listen to this tune, it conveys that ominous vibe to me. That's an emotional memory my mind has in regards to this tune. If I lose that memory, then I'd perhaps hear this tune as meaningless rubbish.

It would be like listening to a child pluck out a random tune on an instrument. That's why I must have that memory intact, so I know the ominous power that I'm supposed to eventually convey to the audience. Without that memory, then the tune just becomes a rubbish tune from my perspective. It becomes stripped of that awesome, ominous power. So, by having this emotional memory intact, I retain knowledge of the great, ominous power this tune really has.

Only I have this memory. Since others don't have this memory, then they'll hear the tune as meaningless rubbish when they listen to it. But, I'm the musical artist here creating great tunes, and people just don't realize they're great yet. They hear them as meaningless rubbish for now. But, I have to find a way to bring out the greatness of my tunes, so that the audience realizes the power and greatness they really have. Anyway, here's this new tune. Hopefully, there will be people who'll hear this tune as awesome and ominous:

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/k5WX4AOk8v0

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/newdarktune

Music Sheet:

https://ibb.co/nb5KH3k

Other Person's Response: How would you lose that emotional memory?

My Reply: If it's a short term memory, then my brain would lose it. But, if it becomes a long term memory, my brain retains the memory. These emotional memories I have in regards to all my tunes were once short term memories. That means I lost them, and heard my tunes as meaningless rubbish when I listened to them. Fortunately, they're now long term memories, since I've managed to bring those short term memories back. By focusing very hard when listening to my tunes, I've managed to bring back those memories I've lost. So, the only thing that can take away these long term memories would be something, such as brain damage, or Alzheimer's disease.

Other Person's Response: These memories are probably nothing more than you thinking your tunes are great and convey certain awesome scenes, when they're really rubbish tunes. I think you were hearing your tunes for what they really were when you lost those memories. You heard them as meaningless rubbish, and that's what they'll always be. There's no power and greatness whatsoever to these tunes that has yet to be conveyed to the audience.

My Reply: I don't agree. It seems absolutely compelling to me that these tunes are great, and convey the scenes I describe. I just have to find a way to bring out that power and greatness to other listeners.

Other Person's Response: The brain works by a process known as conditioning. When you have a certain inspiration (such as the inspiration to create a dark, awesome tune in your head), that inspiration gets combined (conditioned) with whatever tune you create. In other words, your brain confuses the inspiration with the tune itself, and thinks they're the same thing. Therefore, your brain thinks the tune you made actually has that dark, awesome power you've been inspired by, when it's really just a rubbish tune that expresses no given scene. Basically, your mind is just playing tricks on you. It's making you see power and greatness that's not even there.

My Reply: I'm not sure if this is true.

Other Person's Response: You say there's power and greatness lurking in the shadows that you have to convey to the audience. Perhaps you're just thinking there's a ghost in the shadows, and it's your imagination playing tricks on you. Maybe there was no power and greatness ever there.

My Reply: I really don't know. To me, it really seems like it's there.

Other Person's Response: When you lose those emotional memories, and hear your tunes as meaningless rubbish, is that the same thing as saying you hear them as noise, and nothing more?

My Reply: Yes. The tunes just become sound. They convey no scene, moment, or character.

Other Person's Response: If you do lose those memories, couldn't you just read the described scenes of your tunes, and that be enough to bring those memories back when you listen to those tunes? Shouldn't that remind you, and allow you to hear your tunes as great, awesome, and powerful again?

My Reply: No. That's because it's not the type of memory where someone forgets something he's written, and just has to go back and read it again to remind himself. What I'm talking about here is an emotional memory. So, even if I did read the described scenes of my tunes while listening to them, I'd still hear them as meaningless rubbish. It's only me having those emotional memories intact that allows me to hear my tunes as awesome, powerful, great, and conveying of certain scenes. So, reading the awesome or powerful scenes I described for my tunes isn't enough for me to actually hear my tunes as expressing those scenes.

Other Person's Response: Maybe the real melodies you have in your mind are awesome and catchy. You have memories of those melodies in your mind. But, you might be inaccurately transcribing those melodies. So, when you lose those memories, and listen to your inaccurately transcribed melodies, they sound like meaningless rubbish, since that's what they are. From there, you try to bring back those memories by listening to these melodies.

You're trying to remember what the real, awesome, catchy melodies were by listening to the inaccurately transcribed melodies, and you manage to do so. So, when you listen to those inaccurately transcribed melodies again, having brought back those memories, you hear them as the awesome, catchy ones in your mind, even though the melodies in your mind, and the transcribed ones, don't match up.

My Reply: Yes, that might be what's going on here. But, maybe, if I were to accurately transcribe the melodies in my mind, I'd automatically hear them as awesome and catchy, even when I don't have those memories. Other people might hear them as awesome and catchy as well. I thought I was accurately transcribing the melodies in my mind. But, I might not be. After all, I'm not very skilled at transcribing what I have in my mind, whether it be drawings, or melodies.

Other Person's Response: I heard you say earlier that, during your miserable moments, you even perceive great and beautiful works of art as meaningless, and conveying of no scene or character. So, when you perceive your melodies as meaningless, and conveying of no scene or character, is it because you're miserable?

My Reply: If I were to lose those emotional memories, then I'd still perceive my melodies as meaningless, even when I'm happy, and no longer miserable. Actually, I'm not sure I'd even describe them as emotional memories, since I think they're simply memories of awesome melodies I've created in my mind. When I lose those memories, and listen to the inaccurately transcribed version of these melodies, I hear them as meaningless, rubbish melodies, since that's what they really are. They're nothing awesome like the melodies I've had in my mind.

Other Person's Response: You see, Matt the Fraud, people who compose music that other people may want to listen to don't write whopping great treatises about what they're going to do. They simply get on with it. However, having heard bits and bobs of your previous attempts, I'd strongly advise you to take up gardening.

My Reply: First of all, I'm not trying to fraud anybody. I give all the reasons why I think these tunes I hear in my mind really are great, and catchy. Second, I haven't been feeling up to composing yet, due to my miserable, unhappy struggles. Therefore, I've instead chosen to write about my composing dream in the meantime until I feel up to learning how to compose. Lastly, my tunes might very well sound awful, and that is to be expected at this point.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you really are trying to fraud people. Why else would you write this whole packet?

My Reply: It's because I have problems with the personal views of other people, and I feel the need to speak up for myself, and to thoroughly address said issues. I have an issue with other people who claim that my emotions aren't the source of value in my life. So, that's why I've written so many of my other packets, which talk about how emotions are value judgments.

I also have an issue with people who have unreasonably high standards when it comes to works of art, whether said works be comedy, music, or anything else. So, that's why I've written this whole packet. I also just wish to share everything that's on my mind regarding my composing dream. It would be like how someone wishes to write every single thing that's on his mind in his journal, and share it.

Other Person's Response: You said you were going to learn how to compose many years ago. Yet, here you are, still coming up with these horrendous tunes. From this, I can conclude you're too lazy to learn, and have no talent. So, you're better off just giving up.

My Reply: That's not it. I've struggled much of my life with many miserable moments, and that's why I've not even bothered learning. I can't stand doing my hobbies without my positive emotions, which is why I don't even bother.

Now, it's just a matter of time waiting for me to fully recover from this recent emotional trauma I've had. I'm doing just fine now, and have to wait a little bit longer for my positive emotions to return back to me on their own.

Once they do, then I'll start learning how to compose, since I'd be able to have fun, and enjoy the whole process. I personally don't think any conclusions as to whether my musical claims are true or not should be drawn, when I haven't even gotten the chance to make any awesome music yet.

Other Person's Response: You're 30 years old. That's a bit late to begin learning how to compose. Why the delay?

My Reply: There are two reasons why. The 1st would be that composing wasn't something I took up until later on in my life. The 2nd would be that I've struggled much of my life with many miserable moments. It was a cycle I was in, and I've finally broken free of that cycle. Now that I'm no longer miserable, and almost have my positive emotions back to me, I'll soon be ready to learn how to compose. I don't think I'll have anymore of those miserable moments again.

Other Person's Response: I bet, even if you fully regained your positive emotions, you still wouldn't dedicate much time to learning how to compose, and you still wouldn't go through with your composing dream.

My Reply: That's false. Once I have my positive emotions, then I'd be fully dedicated to achieving my goal. I'd dedicate many hours each day. I used to do this with my previous hobby (which was playing video games). As long as I could have fun and enjoy them, then I'd play them for many hours each day. But, when I struggle with misery, then I don't even bother with them.

Other Person's Response: What's your update or status now?

My Reply: I've had an emotional crisis, and I'm all better now. My mind was stuck on some traumatizing worry for quite some time, and that rendered me without my feelings of happiness and joy. I was in a very horrible, unhealthy state of mind, and my life and hobbies were nothing beautiful, or worth living for. Now that I'm all better, I wish to go back to composing. I've abandoned it for quite some time, due to my miserable struggles and, now, I'm ready to go back to it.

My goal in making music is to create melodies, themes, and songs other people would love to listen to. I don't want to be making music I just think is great. I wish to express myself as an artist, which means I want to make music that's both great, and expresses whatever it is I wish to express. So far, I know I'm not making any good music for others because so many people online have told me my music is rubbish, and doesn't express anything I described.

I'm undecided as to whether I'm creating great music in my head, and I'm just bad at transcribing it. Or, if my mentally created music really is bad. It seems absolutely compelling to me that the music I hear in my head is great, and expresses what I describe. Anyway, I hope I'm able to create the awesome music I want to create in the real, physical world. This is a goal I wish to achieve, and I don't think I'm going to have anymore miserable moments stopping me from achieving this goal.

Other Person's Response: Is it possible your melodies have been accurately transcribed, but something more is necessary to convey their power and greatness?

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: When you talk about fully crafting any accurately transcribed melodies you make in order to convey their power and greatness, do you mean adding in all the proper chords, harmony, etc.?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: When you talk about conveying the power and greatness of your melodies, you're talking about the ones in your mind, accurately transcribed, right? Because you said earlier that you might not be accurately transcribing what you hear in your head right now. So, you're not talking about the melodies you've presented in this packet, since they're poorly transcribed?

My Reply: That's correct. But, who knows, maybe I did accurately transcribe some of the tunes I hear in my head.

Other Person's Response: Have you shared your tunes to other people, and have they told you your tunes are gibberish?

My Reply: Yes. What makes it frustrating is that I already perceive these tunes as amazing and catchy, since I know what they are. This perception makes it seem quite obvious that others should perceive them the way I do. That's why it becomes frustrating when I go and share them to other people, and they say it's awful, incoherent, gibberish.

I think this is the same issue I have when writing essays, and things on forums. I already know the message I'm trying to convey, and the message is quite obvious to me, since I already know what it is. But, other people don't get that message, and they say to me that my writing is awful, incoherent, gibberish.

I think I just need to improve both as a writer, and as a composer, in order to successfully convey my message. But, like I said before, composing is what I wish to learn and improve on. I don't wish to be a skilled writer, since that's not my goal in life. As long as I don't improve, then other people might not get my message/music at all, or they'll perceive a completely different message/tune that I never intended.

Other Person's Response: If your music is good enough in your eyes, then why care what anyone else thinks?

My Reply: My whole goal in composing is to share music that other people would really love. But, I suspect people are having too high of a standard, which would prevent them from appreciating the greatness and catchiness of any fully crafted tunes I'd share in the future. Therefore, I'm asking others to lower their standards, so they can appreciate my tunes. I think such a lowered standard is a reasonable standard.

Other Person's Response: Is there any amazing work of art you can instinctively craft in your mind besides good music?

My Reply: Yes. I can come with awesome fighting moves in my mind. I can imagine 2 characters fighting, and performing awesome, complex moves. These are moves better than what the average person would come up with. Since I've played video games and watched anime my whole life, where characters fight, then I instinctively know how to create skilled moves in my mind, just like I instinctively know how to speak the English language.

Of course, if I tried to convey these moves to you by any means, such as performing them myself, or creating them on some type of animation software of 2 stick figures fighting, I bet people would tell me these moves are awful, and/or that they just don't understand these moves. This is because I don't have the necessary animation skill, or physical fighting skill, to successfully convey them. But, I'm a skilled fighter mentally. The thing is, I wish to convey the music I hear in my mind, and not any fighting moves, or any visual art I create in my mind.

In other words, music is my passion, and that's what I'm going for. Now, even if I did successfully convey these moves I have in my mind, it doesn't have to be the greatest martial arts display in order for it to be considered talent, or something great. As long as these moves are significantly better than what an average person would come up with, then I consider that to be talent, and greatness.

For example, the average person might have one character simply beating another character's face back and forth, or having one character simply keep on throwing energy blasts. In other words, think of the average moves a child, or a young teenager, would come up with, who knows nothing about martial arts. As for me, I'd create moves that make a much better work of art. They'd be sophisticated moves.

Other Person's Response: So, according to you, any work of art that's significantly better than what an average person would come up with (such as your martial arts example) is talent and greatness?

My Reply: Yes. That's why I consider the comedy scenes I make to be talent and greatness, despite the fact they're not the best comedy scenes in the world. I personally think my last comedy scene is the best of them all in this packet. You see certain comedy scenes in cartoons and anime, and, even though they're not the best in the world, they're still great, since they're better than what the average person could come up with. The same idea applies to my comedy scenes.

Other Person's Response: Another example would be very short, nursery rhymes. They're melodies better than what the average, educated composer would come up with. Yet, they're still great and memorable.

My Reply: Yes. Any given work of art, even if it's very simple, can be great and memorable, as long as it's something significantly better than what the average person would come up with.

Other Person's Response: Do you think any fully crafted tunes will turn out to be much better than your comedy scenes?

My Reply: Yes. Even my best comedy scenes.

Other Person's Response: Maybe that Dark Tune will become amazing, powerful, and will convey what you describe once you fully craft it. In its current stage, there's no way the tune is going to achieve its intended goal. However, even if you do fully craft it, and it's said to be not that great, and conveying something else, then maybe your assessment of your tunes is off. In other words, what you think your tunes convey, and your judgment that they're awesome, powerful, and amazing, would be an assessment that doesn't match up with reality.

My Reply: Again, that would be quite frustrating if it's the latter. If it's the latter, then I'd somehow have to fix my way of assessing my tunes. I wish to see my tunes for what they really are, rather than deluding myself into thinking they're amazing, and conveying the scenes or characters I describe.

If I could know what my tunes actually convey, and if they're that great or not, then that would give me a major advantage, since I'd know if other people would think they're awesome, great, and convey what I describe. Otherwise, I'd be all alone, and I'd be the only one who sees his music as great, and conveying of certain scenes.

Other Person's Response: I agree that your assessments are off.

My Reply: Here's the thing though. I can give an accurate assessment of any given song. For example, if someone were to present to me a song or tune by Michael Jackson, I'd be able to describe the power, personality, and emotion it conveys. So, why can't I give an accurate assessment of music I create in my head? I conclude that, since I can give an accurate assessment in regards to other tunes and songs, that my assessment of these melodies in my mind is also an accurate assessment.

Other Person's Response: What about reversed songs? Do they convey certain scenes?

My Reply: Yes. When I reverse some songs, they convey certain meanings to me, and are catchy. Some songs I reverse don't convey anything to me. They just sound like stuff being played backwards. Take note that I'm not talking about reversed lyrics here. I'm talking about the reversed series of notes and rests in a song, and what emotion it conveys.

Most people reverse songs to make out what words they think they hear when they listen to reversed lyrics. But, I reverse songs to see what emotion music conveys. I'm just concerned with the power and meaning music itself conveys. Yes, lyrics are important. But, I'm just not concerned with lyrics. Anyway, I'll give you an example of how a reversed song does convey a certain emotion.

This song doesn't have lyrics to it. It's called "The Ballad of the Goddess." Even though it's the song Zelda's Lullaby played backwards, it still conveys meaning. It conveys powerful heroism, such as a hero embarking on a journey. It's not just Zelda's Lullaby played backwards. It's done in such a way that the notes sound like they're playing forward, rather than having notes that sound like they've been reversed. This is called "retrograding." Here's the youtube link to this song:

https://youtu.be/v4ReyoNpyrM

Now that you know reversed songs can convey certain emotions, I'm going to share to you a song I reversed, and made my own personal story out of. It's the song "Let It Rock" reversed. Again, forget about the reversed lyrics because that's not my focus here. Instead, focus on the emotion of this reversed song, and the scenes I've chosen for it. Yes, do focus on the singing because the singing involves the series of notes being sung. But, just forget about the reversed lyrics.

As for the scenes I've chosen, they've been taken from a Sonic the Hedgehog video, and I personally think they match the song. I slow some scenes down so the story matches with the music. When you first hear the reversed song, the vibe I get from it is something you'd hear before the chorus arrives. When you first hear songs play, it's the beginning of the song to prepare the listener for the chorus.

The chorus conveys intense emotion, and the song has to lead up to that. Sonic the Hedgehog is preparing to transform into his super form in this video, which is why I have that part of the song match this scene. I think this portion of the song also really does express a character preparing to transform. Not in a cinematic way. But, in a very cool way, since that's the vibe it conveys to me.

Then the intense part of the song (the chorus) arrives. This part, to me, conveys something awesome, powerful, and dangerous. It expresses a character going through an intense mode of unleashing power, and that's why I have the scene of Sonic transforming match this part of the song. The reversed chorus is unlike the forward version because the forward version doesn't convey that emotion. The forward version makes people want to dance, and have a fun time.

After Sonic transforms into his super form, I then have the next part of the song match the next scene. The next part of the song is a bit more settled down, which is why I have the scene of Sonic standing in his super form match this part of the song. After that, I have the next scene match the next part of the song. The next part of the song conveys something awesome, lethal, serious, and dangerous.

It's not like the chorus because the chorus conveyed powerful emotion. The scene that's used to match this part of the song would be Super Sonic unleashing his lethal moves upon a character. So, there you have it. There's my assessment of the reversed song Let It Rock. It's not the full song reversed though. I just gave you a small example. One might say my assessment is way off, and it could very well be.

If that's the case, then it would be an irrational assessment, and I'd have to find a way to rationally assess somehow. Or, maybe, my assessment was right all along, and the notes of the reversed song have to be retrograded in order for that emotion I described to be conveyed. It could also be the case I'm envisioning the reversed song being played in a different key to convey the serious, awesome, dangerous emotion I described.

Here's the link to the Sonic video with the reversed Let It Rock song:

https://youtu.be/XvwSr30Vy2I

Other Person's Response: You must be a crazy person if you think that reversed Let It Rock song conveys what you described.

My Reply: Not crazy. Just irrational if my assessment is wrong. There's a big difference between someone who's crazy, and someone who's using irrational assessments.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me a link that shows me the Ballad of the Goddess is Zelda's Lullaby played backwards?

My Reply: Sure. Also, I was wrong when I said the song had no lyrics:

https://zelda.gamepedia.com/Ballad_of_t ... ess#Trivia

Other Person's Response: I found your assessment of the reversed Let It Rock to be quite interesting! Do you have another song as an example?

My Reply: Yes. It would be the song "Love Is A Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. I don't have actual video scenes to go along with it. So, I'll just describe the scenes that this reversed song conveys to me. Here's the link to it:

https://youtu.be/Nh3sDkLsjqw

Starting from 0:02-0:14 in this video, this would just be the intro. Then, from 0:15-0:31, this conveys something settled. It would be like something slowly creeping up. Think of a person standing there, and something's about to happen. It doesn't sound cinematic, like something you'd hear in a movie though. It's different than that.

Then, starting from 0:32, this is a moment of shock where the person looks, and notices some demonic creature about to grab him. The tension rises as the song leads into the chorus starting from 0:40-1:17. The chorus conveys something dramatic and horrific, as the person is being dragged to hell, screaming.

Again, in regards to the scenes I'm describing, don't think of anything cinematic because the emotion this reversed song conveys is entirely different than the type of emotion conveyed by cinematic music. Think of it as the song Love Is A Battlefield taking on the essence of pure horror. The same idea applies to the song Let It Rock reversed.

Think of it as that song taking on the form of something awesome and dangerous. As you can see, when you reverse songs, they take on a whole new essence, since they become whole new songs. Anyway, the reversed chorus of this song conveys even more dramatic horror than famous horror music. It's in a league of its own. Pat Benatar yells while she's singing the chorus, and that really adds to the dramatic horror.

Then, from 1:17-2:02, it sounds settled and ominous. Then, from 2:03-2:36, it sounds like something evil is brewing. That's all the scenes I'll describe of this song because you get the idea. If anyone disagrees with my assessment of this reversed song, then, again, maybe I'm envisioning the reversed song in a different key, which would convey the scenes/emotion I described.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 4/12)

Other Person's Response: Here's a novel idea. Why not just listen to the songs the way they were meant to be heard? Incidentally, the key of a piece of music doesn't change, simply because you're playing it backwards. If, however, you change the speed it is played at, then it does. Does a movie make any sense if you watch it backwards? No. Neither does music. Stop wasting time with this reverse rubbish. Rather, invest the time listening to music naturally. It's a lot more fun, and a lot more rewarding.

My Reply: I know the piece does not change key simply because you play it backwards. I said I was perhaps envisioning the song being played backwards in a different key to convey the scenes/emotion I described. I also said earlier that songs played backwards do make sense, and do convey emotions and scenes. An example I gave was the Ballad of the Goddess, which is actually Zelda's Lullaby reversed. As you can see, a reversed song can become a whole new song that does tell a story that makes sense.

Other Person's Response: Simply changing the key of a song doesn't mean it's going to convey the scenes you describe. Even if you did change the key of those reversed songs, it still wouldn't convey what you described.

My Reply: I realize that. I think it's a combination of what key the reversed song is in AND what the reversed series of notes and rests are. That's what will convey the scenes I described, and I think the reversed series of notes/rests, as they are, do convey those scenes. Actually, there's another thing that's needed to convey the scenes I described, and I explain it soon enough because just having a reversed song in the right key isn't enough to convey something meaningful to the audience.

Other Person's Response: Those reversed songs you've posted are meaningless, and don't convey anything. They were meant to be listened to in their forward version. Since you're projecting meaning upon meaningless music, then maybe you're also projecting meaning upon meaningless, rubbish tunes you're making in your head.

Many people make certain connections with music. They connect certain emotion, power, and scenes with music they hear. Some connections make sense, while others are irrational. The connection you've made with those reversed songs is irrational. The same thing applies to the connection you're making with those tunes you've created in your mind.

My Reply: I don't think that's the case.

Other Person's Response: Many human beings just aren't wired rationally. Hence the reason why you have many religious believers who believe in religious nonsense. I think the same thing applies to you because you believe this nonsense that these tunes in your head convey certain meanings, and that those reversed songs you've put up convey certain scenes as well.

My Reply: I'm open-minded towards that possibility. But, I don't think that's the case.

Other Person's Response: A 'song' is something that's sung with (hopefully) intelligent and meaningful lyrics. Lyrics played backwards don't become words and, therefore, can't be a song. In fact, the whole thing just becomes a complete mess. All music has three elements - melody, harmony, and rhythm. If you distort one of these, you're just creating sonic soup that's a complete waste of time. Just because you can do things with technology doesn't mean it's worthwhile. To me, it just sounds stupid. But, hey, do whatever you want.

My Reply: I wasn't talking about the lyrics though. I was talking about the scenes music itself conveys when reversed. I mean, since the reversed Zelda's Lullaby is an actual theme in Zelda, and it conveys meaning, then why can't other songs convey meaning and scenes once they're reversed?

Other Person's Response: Yes, the reversed Zelda's Lullaby does convey meaning. But, I don't think those reversed songs you've pointed out do.

My Reply: If anyone has never heard the Ballad of the Goddess, and simply reversed Zelda's Lullaby, they might say the reversed Zelda's Lullaby is a meaningless tune that doesn't convey anything. But, once they listen to the Ballad of the Goddess, they'd say it conveys something powerful, such as a hero embarking on a journey.

My point is, I think Zelda's Lullaby has not only been reversed, but recreated in such a way that it conveys something powerful and meaningful. Koji Kondo (the composer for Zelda) might've reversed the melody himself, and saw the power and greatness of this reversed melody that other people couldn't see.

Thus, that's why he made it into the Ballad of the Goddess. If I never listened to the Ballad of the Goddess, and I reversed Zelda's Lullaby, I might also see the power that this reversed melody conveys that other people just can't see. This is because I have an artistic mind that's able to see that.

The same thing applies to those reversed songs I've posted up there. I'm able to see the power and scenes these reversed songs convey that other people just can't see. So, I don't think reversing a song, or melody, is enough to convey something meaningful to the audience; you must recreate the song or melody, too.

Other Person's Response: You're basically applying the same argument you've made for your tunes in your head to those reversed songs. You're saying that you're seeing something great and awesome that other people just can't see, and that you'd have to convey that to the audience.

My Reply: Correct. Not only must I find a way to convey the power and greatness of these melodies in my mind, but I'd also have to convey the power and greatness of those reversed songs, too. Otherwise, the audience would continue to remain blind and in denial to said power and greatness.

Other Person's Response: You said earlier you were blind to many truths. I think you're also blind to the fact that those reversed songs don't convey what you described at all, and neither do the tunes in your head.

My Reply: I may be blind to many truths. But, there are certain truths I'm not blind to. One of these truths would be that my positive emotions really are the perception/experience of beauty in my life. I know this from my own personal experience. Another truth I'm not blind to would be my claim that those reversed songs, and the tunes in my head, convey what I described. These are truths I know that the world is currently blind to.

Other Person's Response: If a person thinks there's a ghost, he must ask himself if there really is a ghost, or if it's his imagination playing tricks on him. Likewise, when you think there's certain power and meaning to those tunes in your head, and to those reversed songs, you must ask yourself if that power and meaning is actually there, and has yet to be conveyed to the audience, or if it's just your imagination playing tricks on you.

My Reply: That's a good question, and I find myself wondering what the real answer is.

Other Person's Response: If a person knows how reality works, and learns there's no such thing as ghosts, leprechauns, or fairies, then he'll no longer think those things exist. Likewise, when you learn how music works, you'll no longer think those melodies in your mind have power and meaning to them. Neither will you think those reversed songs have power and meaning to them.

My Reply: You could be right.

Other Person's Response: You say you might have to change the key of those reversed songs, so they convey what you say they convey. I think the best thing you can do is to instead change the chords because changing the key doesn't really work out too well. For example, changing the major key of a song to a minor key makes things sound a little "off."

My Reply: Maybe I'd have to do that instead.

Other Person’s Response: There’s a technique known as “retrograde,” which would be reversing the series of notes in a melody or song. Composers use this technique many times. An example of a composer who used this technique would be Koji Kondo (the composer for famous video games, such as the Legend of Zelda, Super Mario, etc.). A portion of his Ballad of the Goddess theme would be a retrograded portion of his Zelda’s Lullaby theme, as you mentioned earlier.

If utilizing this technique just resulted in meaningless, random, nonsensical, rubbish melodies, then Koji wouldn’t have used it. This says that reversed melodies aren’t meaningless rubbish. So, you might be correct when you say those songs you’ve reversed do convey meaningful scenes, and that the reason why people hear them as meaningless rubbish is because reversing a melody or song isn’t enough to convey something meaningful to the audience. Something more is needed to convey their meaning.

My Reply: Right. So, I might be the one who’s able to hear those reversed songs as meaningful because that’s my meaningful vision in regards to these reversed songs. I must find a way to somehow convey that vision to the audience. I’m quite sure if Koji simply reversed a portion of his Zelda’s Lullaby theme, that the audience would hear it as meaningless rubbish. So, Koji had a meaningful vision in regards to a portion of Zelda’s Lullaby he reversed, and he somehow conveyed that vision to the audience. That’s the reason why so many people love that retrograded portion, and don’t think it’s meaningless rubbish.

Other Person’s Response: So, you think horrific, dramatic scenes are conveyed by the reversed series of notes in the reversed “Love Is A Battlefield” song by Pat Benatar? You think you must somehow convey this horror and drama to the audience? Otherwise, when people listen to this reversed song, they’ll just hear it as “stuff being played backwards” (i.e. meaningless rubbish)?

My Reply: Correct. Also, I’m not talking about the reversed lyrics. I’m talking about the reversed series of notes. When people listen to reversed songs, they often try to find meaningful words or sentences in the reversed lyrics when they listen to them. But, I don’t do that. I listen to the reversed series of notes, whether they be played by an instrument or sung, and try to find meaning in it.

Other Person’s Response: When you say that reversed song will convey something horrific and dramatic to the audience, once you’ve successfully conveyed your vision in regards to that reversed song, what you’re really saying is that it will evoke a horrific, dramatic, emotional response for many people?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: I personally think you have a musical talent of naturally creating awesome, powerful, profound melodies in your mind, and I think you have a musical talent of developing a meaningful vision in regards to reversed songs. When people listen to the reversed series of notes in reversed songs, they often times hear it as meaningless rubbish. But, you’re able to see beyond that. You’re able to realize the meaning these reversed songs convey that many people aren’t able to realize.

My Reply: Yes. Since I realize this meaning, I must somehow convey said meaning to the audience.

Other Person's Response: If your melodies become fully crafted, and a few people do say your melodies are great, and express the scenes you described, is that enough to convince you that your melodies are great, and express the scenes you described?

My Reply: No. I must share my fully crafted melodies to many people. Especially professional musicians and composers. I can't trust the personal views of a few people. If many people end up saying to me the same thing as those few people did in regards to my fully crafted melodies, then I'd be convinced my melodies are great, and express the scenes I described.

Other Person's Response: Even if your melodies do become successfully conveyed (i.e. fully crafted), they're too simplistic, predictable, and repetitive to be anything good.

My Reply: I think they'd still be great. Their power and greatness should still be there. A craft doesn't have to be complex in order for it to be powerful, profound, awesome, or great.

Other Person's Response: I agree that short, simple tunes can be great and memorable. The McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune is very short. I think the melody only has 5 notes. Yet, so many people like it.

My Reply: Yes. It's a huge misconception to assume that short, simple melodies, that only have a few notes, won't be good tunes. If you choose the right notes and rests for a short melody, it can be a great, catchy, memorable melody. I think the melodies in my head do have that choice of notes and rests that make them great, catchy, and memorable. Some of my melodies convey powerful, profound meaning and emotion.

Other Person's Response: Here's the youtube link to the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune:

https://youtu.be/GApPXZAvkRI

My Reply: Thank you.

Other Person's Response: What if some people don't like those short, memorable tunes (such as the McDonald's tune)?

My Reply: I think they would be great tunes, and these people would be having an unreasonably high standard, which prevents them from appreciating the greatness of these tunes.

Other Person's Response: Any given work of art simply might not be the style of art he/she would prefer. So, having too high of a standard isn't the only thing that prevents people from loving and admiring certain works of art.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person’s Response: What makes an awesome, profound, powerful melody isn’t the fact that it impacted and moved the audience, but the technical aspects of the melody, such as how complex the melody is, how well-crafted it is, etc. For example, there are people who are moved by Michael Jackson’s melodies. But, then there are other people who aren’t moved at all, and say that his melodies aren’t great, since they’re too simplistic. So, the audience that was moved by MJ’s melodies are leaving out the technical aspects necessary to make a great melody.

My Reply: I judge the greatness, profoundness, and power of a melody solely based on its emotion. As long as a melody conveys profound, powerful, or memorable emotion for the audience, then that makes the melody great. It also makes it a profound, powerful, or memorable melody. So, I’m like a person in the MJ audience who appreciates and admires MJ’s melodies, and isn’t really concerned about the technical aspects of music. Like I said, a melody doesn’t need to be complex and well planned out in order to be a great melody. Even simple, short melodies can be great, such as the McDonald’s I’m Lovin’ It tune, since many people find that melody memorable and catchy.

Other Person’s Response: Since you’re not really concerned when it comes to the technical aspects of music, then that means the McDonald’s tune could have technical issues with it, such as low sound quality, pops, crackles, an unsuitable instrument playing the melody that sounds horrible, etc., and it would still be a great melody.

My Reply: Yes. As long as the actual melody is still intact, then it’s still a great melody. A person would just need to see past all those technical flaws in order to see the greatness of the melody. For me, that’s a very simple task, while, for others, it’s a more difficult task.

Other Person’s Response: If a person wishes to sell his music, then he needs to put the technical aspects in high regard. He needs to be in a studio, he must purchase instruments of excellent sound quality to use in musical software, etc.

My Reply: I don’t think that’s necessary. So, if I created music in a free music notation software, such as MuseScore, and I exported my music on MuseScore as mp3s to share to the world, then my music should sell. There’s no need for me to take the extra, unnecessary step of being an actual music producer in a studio. As long as a person is creating memorable, powerful, or profound music in a free music notation software, then that’s good enough, and such music should sell and be given many good ratings and comments. I think many people just don’t appreciate things. They expect perfection, and music doesn’t have to be perfect, or nearly perfect, in order to be great. So, my music can be lacking in certain technical aspects, and still be great music.

Other Person’s Response: Well, music does need to follow the rules of music theory to even be considered music. Otherwise, it would just be senseless rubbish. It would sound like noise that has been plucked out on an instrument by a baby.

My Reply: Yes. But, there’s no need to be in a studio and buy fancy equipment, software, instruments, etc.

Other Person’s Response: Sure, music can be great on its own, even if there are certain technical aspects that are lacking. But, addressing these technical issues will make one’s music even more great than it already is, since doing so will further bring out that emotional greatness, power, profoundness, and memorable quality in one’s music.

My Reply: Yes. But, it’s not really necessary.

Other Person’s Response: It doesn’t matter what your musical standards are. The fact is, if you wish to sell music that will be given many good ratings and comments, then you need to meet the musical standard of being a music producer in a studio.

My Reply: Let’s pretend I shared my music on youtube or sound cloud (music that follows the rules of music theory, and doesn’t sound like senseless rubbish). If many people give it good ratings and comments, then that says it’s unnecessary for me to be in a studio. So, my music should sell as it is, which means I can just make music in MuseScore, and share it to the world.

Other Person’s Response: There are people in villages who don’t have the money or access to studio equipment and software. They produce music on their instruments, and people around love to listen to it. That says music can be appreciated as it is, and doesn’t need to be taken to a professional, studio level. So, I think you’re right when you say that making music in MuseScore, and sharing said music to the world, should be good enough.

My Reply: Yes. Also, imagine a family member playing a song for you on a harmonica. You’d still enjoy that song and appreciate it.

Other Person’s Response: Many music professionals are used to listening to melodies and songs produced in a free music notation software, such as MuseScore. So, making music in MuseScore should be good enough.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: If you were to sell your music on a cd, then you’d have to lower the price because your music was only produced in MuseScore, and wasn’t produced in a professional studio. So, your cd should sell for less money than those cds that have professionally produced music.

My Reply: Yes. Also, I could just make melodies and put them on a cd. I don’t need to make full songs. Of course, doing that would sell for even less money because it takes more effort to produce entire songs. Thus, a cd would cost more if it has entire songs on it, as opposed to a cd that just has melodies on it. If I just make melodies and put them on a cd, that should be good enough, as long as my melodies are memorable, profound, powerful, etc. for people.

Other Person's Response: If we see flaws with any successfully conveyed music you share in the future, we have every right to point out those flaws, and to say if your music really isn't as great and catchy as you say it is.

My Reply: Pointing out the flaws, and helping me improve my craft, is a great idea. But, just because there are flaws shouldn't all of a sudden deem my music as nothing great and catchy. For example, I could take a powerful portion of a song by Michael Jackson, repeat it to drag it on for too long, and I could add some flaws to it, such as crackles, pops, and make it low quality sound.

Even though it's just a short tune of MJ's music, isn't a full song, and has many flaws, it would still be great, catchy, and would still convey powerful, memorable, profound emotion. Even if MJ himself created just a short tune with some flaws, and shared that, it would still be great.

This is what I mean here when I say that people need to appreciate the greatness and catchiness of music because I should be able to share short tunes that have flaws, and still have them deemed as great, catchy tunes. Making a fully crafted, flawless song would, therefore, be something completely optional.

Sure, making a full song, without flaws, would make my music much better. But, it's optional, and isn't necessary to make my music great. As long as my music meets the minimal requirements to convey its greatness and catchiness, then that should be good enough for my music to be great and catchy.

Other Person's Response: In regards to a person’s preferences, when people prefer a certain style of art, that prevents them from appreciating all forms of art. For example, if someone prefers rap music, then that prevents him from appreciating other music that isn't his style, such as heavy metal.

My Reply: Yes. But, I'm not sure who appreciates all styles of music.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me another example of one of those short, great, memorable tunes?

My Reply: Yes. If you've ever heard the short tune that goes something like: "Tyler, Tyler, he's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can!," then that would be another example. Again, I think I'm naturally creating great, memorable tunes like this in my head.

Other Person's Response: Are there any other factors that you think would prevent people from appreciating any fully developed music of yours you might share in the future?

My Reply: Yes. People just might not like me as a person, they might not like the things I say in my packets, and also the fact that I'm not famous or popular. There are people in this world who share amazing works of art, but have them ridiculed and shot down, simply because these people weren't famous, weren't popular, and weren't liked as individuals.

There are also people who share awful music, and have their music praised, simply because they're popular, famous artists. As you can see here, people just have too many factors preventing them from appreciating the greatness and beauty of works of art, and they also have factors preventing them from seeing the crap that some works of art truly are.

Other Person's Response: A theme song or melody can be great, but not memorable. For example, the generic, cinematic music you hear during movie trailers is great music, created by a talented composer. But, it's not memorable music because many people might find it to be the same old, generic music you hear during movie trailers. The Harry Potter theme song, on the other hand, is not generic music. That's why the Harry Potter theme is so memorable. The same idea applies to the song "A Whole New World" that's heard during the Aladdin trailer. That's a very memorable song, and I think it's much better than generic, movie trailer music.

My Reply: I agree. If you want to create music that really captures the soul of certain movies or trailers, then not only does the music need to be great, but it needs to be memorable. I heard there's a Sonic the Hedgehog movie coming out, and that Jim Carrey plays as the villain Dr. Robotnick. Imagine if this Sonic movie just had generic, cinematic music in it. It would be a bit boring compared to having the actual, memorable, Sonic theme songs in it. Those Sonic theme songs really capture the very soul, or essence, of the Sonic universe, and that's why it would be a much better choice to have them in the movie.

The same idea applies to the characters themselves. If the characters had generic, cinematic personalities, then that would be dull and boring compared to having the actual, memorable, personalities the classical characters have. If, for example, you take away Sonic's original personality, then you make him a dull, boring, cinematic character if you just gave him a generic personality that's seen all the time in movies (i.e. if you gave him a serious, determined personality that dulls the classical, youthful, energetic personality of Sonic that appeals to so many Sonic the Hedgehog fans). So, by having generic, cinematic music, characters, stories, etc., that makes movies less appealing.

Other Person's Response: Do you think you're naturally creating music in your mind that's not only great, but memorable?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In regards to those short, memorable tunes (such as the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune), maybe the melody itself of these tunes wasn't enough to convey anything great, meaningful, or memorable. So, perhaps something more was needed to go along with these melodies to convey something great, meaningful, and memorable when people listened to them.

My Reply: I think you're right. The same idea would apply to my melodies. But, some melodies not only require more things to go with them, but require the context of an entire song to convey their greatness to the audience. However, some melodies (like the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune) don't require the context of an entire song. They just need more things to go along with the melody to convey their greatness.

Other Person's Response: I know there was this one guy who sang a song he created during an American Idol audition. It's famous, and it's called "Pants on the Ground." Maybe he wasn't just singing the melody line. Maybe he was singing more things to go along with that melody line in order to convey something great, meaningful, and catchy to the audience. Here's the youtube link to it:

https://youtu.be/tMwhl4IrPNc

My Reply: Well, for one, he did sing an entire song, and not just a short melody. So, maybe, if I make my melodies into entire songs, they'll become great, memorable, and catchy. Of course, they're not going to become famous. Few people and their works become famous. But, as long as I get some praise and recognition of my music, that'll be good and acceptable. I could share my awesome music to other people online, get praise and recognition of it, and that would be good enough.

Other Person's Response: What if you do make entire songs in your head that you think are awesome, you accurately reproduce (transcribe) those songs, and people still tell you they sound like rubbish, plucked out by a baby?

My Reply: Then there must be something missing to convey the power, greatness, and memorable quality of my songs to the audience that I have to figure out. Or, maybe, I really would be creating rubbish.

Other Person's Response: If a melody expresses powerful or profound emotion, then is that enough, in your eyes, to make a melody great?

My Reply: Yes. Even if the melody is simple and not complicated, as long as it's a catchy, memorable, powerful, or profound melody, then that makes the melody great. So, the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune would be great, since it's catchy, and so many people love it.

Other Person's Response: You claim that a great melody might not sound great or meaningful when it's just the melody itself being played for others with no additional things to go along with that melody, such as chords, a beat, harmonic elements, etc. So, people who do listen to the melody, and claim they're hearing something great or meaningful, might simply be attributing greatness or meaning to a melody that, in reality, doesn't sound great or meaningful. Human beings are irrational, and they do attribute greatness and meaning to things that are nothing great or meaningful.

My Reply: Yes. As for the melodies I'm creating in my head, I could be the irrational one, claiming there's power and greatness to my melodies that I have to convey to the audience. I could just be making rubbish tunes in my head without realizing it.

Other Person's Response: If there's a great, memorable melody being played by itself, with no chords, harmony, or anything else to go along with it, and people claim it's a great, memorable melody when they listen to it, then maybe that's because they've heard the complete song, theme, or nursery rhyme this melody was based off of. If they never heard those completed songs, themes, or nursery rhymes, then perhaps these people would instead be hearing the melody alone as nothing great, memorable, or meaningful.

My Reply: That might be. When you listen to a famous nursery rhyme, it's not just the melody by itself being heard. It's a complete work of art being listened to, and I think that's what makes it great, memorable, and meaningful for those listening to it. If someone listened to a famous nursery rhyme that's a complete work of art, but then listened to just the melody alone of the nursery rhyme, then that person would be saying the melody itself sounds great and memorable. But, that would only be because he heard the complete nursery rhyme to begin with.

If he just listened to the melody alone first, without having heard the complete nursery rhyme, then he might hear the melody as being nothing great or memorable. As a matter of fact, I think it's possible to hear melodies themselves of famous music as meaningless, nothing great, or memorable, even when the completed masterpiece has been heard to begin with. So, that means melodies alone might not be enough to convey something great, memorable, or meaningful to the audience. You must have all the additional things to go along with those melodies.

Other Person's Response: Has someone ever presented to you just the melody alone of a famous theme? If so, did you hear it as meaningless, nothing great, and nothing memorable when you listened to it?

My Reply: Yes. It was the melody alone of the Harry Potter theme. When I listened to it at first, I found myself wondering what the heck this was. But, when someone told me it was the melody of the Harry Potter theme, I immediately recognized that melody as being great and memorable. That's because I heard the Harry Potter theme before.

Other Person's Response: I think this says that any melodies you make won't be good enough. You'd need to have all the additional things to go along with them. After all, that's what's needed to convey something good, meaningful, and memorable to the audience when they listen to them.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: There are simple, repetitive themes in anime and video games. An example would be the Super Mario theme song. But, the Super Mario theme isn't that good.

My Reply: People would be having too high of a standard, which prevents them from appreciating the greatness of the Super Mario theme. The theme conveys something catchy, fun, joyful, and beautiful, and I don't understand how anyone could not appreciate the greatness and beauty of that. It would be like saying that a flower is nothing great and beautiful, and only an artistic field of flowers is great and beautiful. Having such a high standard would prevent one from appreciating the greatness and beauty of that one simple flower.

Therefore, if I fully convey these melodies I hear in my mind, and other people tell me they're not that good, then they'd be having too high of a standard, which is preventing them from appreciating the greatness and awesomeness of my melodies. If my melodies really aren't gibberish, and they're great and catchy like I say, then other people would be having too high of a standard to not praise them. As you can see here, I have a much lower standard, which allows me to appreciate things. Of course, I don't praise lame music that we hear on the radio all the time. I praise music that is unique and catchy.

Other Person's Response: Is there any way to prove that the music you're hearing in your head is great, and you're just bad at reproducing it?

My Reply: Actually, I tried to reproduce a famous nursery rhyme, not knowing the actual notes to it. I shared my attempt at replicating it, and people told me it was awful. We all know those nursery rhymes are great and memorable. So, it must really be the case that I'm just bad at replicating what I hear in my head. It's quite possible that my own mentally inspired tunes are great, awesome, or powerful, and I'm just bad at reproducing these tunes I hear in my head.

It would be like if someone created an awesome drawing in his head, and was bad at drawing it. That person just needs training and education to become a skilled drawer. Likewise, I need training and education to reproduce the awesome music I'm creating in my head. So, when I say in this packet that my melodies will become great, once they're fully crafted, I'm referring to the ones in my mind, accurately reproduced/transcribed.

I'm not sure if having an accurately transcribed melody is enough to convey its greatness and memorable quality. You might need more things to go along with it, such as the proper chords, harmony, etc. Only then would people hear something meaningful, catchy, and great. That even applies to famous nursery rhymes. Sure, the lyrics of these famous nursery rhymes are good and memorable. But, I'm just talking about the nursery rhymes themselves. You might need more things to convey their greatness because the melody itself might not be enough.

Other Person's Response: When you compared your attempt at reproducing a nursery rhyme to the actual nursery rhyme itself, did you get the notes wrong?

My Reply: Yes, I did. When I looked at the music sheet of this nursery rhyme, and compared the actual notes to the notes I attempted to replicate, I got the notes wrong.

Other Person's Response: Why is it so difficult for you to reproduce the tunes you hear in your head?

My Reply: It's because, not only does it require practice to become skilled at that, but also because these tunes in my head are sometimes just general ideas. That means, for example, I might not be specifically hearing a G or an Ab. Rather, I'm just getting the general idea that the note could be a G or an Ab. But, many of the notes I hear in my head are specific, and I might not accurately reproduce some of them.

Other Person's Response: In order to accurately transcribe the melodies you hear in your head, I think that requires ear training.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If you created a tune in your head, and didn't accurately reproduce it, then how would you bring back the memory you lost in regards to the real tune in your head? You don't have the notes exactly like the real tune you've created in your head. If the real tune was something truly great, then you wouldn't be having the real tune on your computer, since it wasn't the accurately reproduced tune. I'm just curious as to how you could see the reproduced tune as great, when it was the real tune in your head that was great.

My Reply: The reproduced tune would be similar to the real one in my head. That's enough for me to bring back the memory of the real tune in my head. It's also possible that I did accurately reproduce some of the tunes I've created in my head. That would allow me to bring back the memory much quicker, since it would take my brain less time to remember than having a tune that's not accurately transcribed.

Other Person's Response: You talk about how our brains are naturally capable of creating great music in our heads. I agree with this. So, I agree that you're naturally creating great music in your head, and that you're just bad at reproducing it. Since we can naturally create good rhythms in our heads, then we should be able to naturally create good melodies and themes in our heads.

My Reply: Yes. I talk more about this later on. There's an article I share, which talks about this.

Other Person's Response: You can have great lyrics and beautiful instruments. But, what good is that without a great, memorable melody that expresses the intended scene, moment, or message to the audience?

My Reply: Exactly.

Other Person's Response: I heard you have autism, and that you lack empathy. So, maybe that makes it difficult for you to emotionally relate to your audience. This means you might create fully crafted melodies and themes later on that you think express the given scene, or atmosphere, you want to express, when they really don't.

My Reply: I hope that's not the case because I wouldn't be expressing what I want to express to the audience.

Other Person's Response: I'm quite sure autistic people and, even people lacking empathy, produced great music that expressed what they wanted to express.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: Since you're able to write things that express what you want to express to the audience, then I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to write melodies, themes, and songs that express what you want to express to the audience. You just need to become a skilled composer is all. Right now, you're a skilled writer. That's why you can articulate things quite well to readers. But, I'd love to see you become a skilled composer, and make some awesome music for others to listen to!

My Reply: Thank you.

Other Person's Response: It requires empathy to understand what music you create is going to be awesome, great, powerful, moving, and conveying of certain scenes to people. Otherwise, you'd only be creating music you think is great, and conveying of certain scenes, but really isn't. So, even if you do share fully crafted music you create, it might not be anything great as you say it is.

My Reply: I do have some empathy because I'd feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings, and I'd feel the need to save my mother's life, or help her if she were in a dire situation. Besides, since I can understand the power and emotion of songs being presented to me, then why can't I understand what music I'm creating would be powerful, great, etc. to other people?

Other Person's Response: Are there sociopaths and psychopaths who've composed amazing, moving music?

My Reply: I'm not sure. There could be.

Other Person's Response: If you're composing fully crafted music later on, it conveys nothing you describe, and is still awful music, then perhaps it's your autism making it difficult for you to relate to how other people respond to music. You wouldn't understand how to create music that truly moves, inspires, and motivates people.

My Reply: I hope that's not the case. I hope I create music that achieves my goal.

Other Person's Response: I heard you say you'd be frustrated if you can't achieve your composing goal of wanting to create awesome, memorable melodies that express what you want to express to the audience. Do you feel that frustration, even when you're happy and enjoying your life? Or, do you only feel it when you're having stress and worry in your life?

My Reply: I only feel it when I'm having stress and worry. Still, I wish to say I'd be frustrated, even when I'm not, because it allows people to take my composing goal more seriously. People would, thus, be much more inclined to help me achieve my goal, rather than treating my goal in a casual manner.

Other Person's Response: I realize you're relying on your instincts/inspiration alone to create, what you think is, great music in your head that expresses what you want to express. Since you have no knowledge of how music works, you basically rely on your instincts. I'm sorry, but you won't create any good music in your head this way. As a matter of fact, it won't express anything you want to express to the audience. That's why you must educate and train yourself in the art of composing to know how to create good music.

My Reply: I soon explain why I think our instincts alone can allow us to create great music in our minds that expresses the things we wish to express. It's basically a matter of creating music from within without educating yourself, and I think this method works to naturally create powerful and awesome music in our minds. However, if I'm wrong, and you were right, then I'm just not sure at this point how to create music that expresses whatever scene or character I wish to express. I’m not sure how I’d express my inner feelings through compositions.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 5/12)

Other Person's Response: You expect to naturally come up with awesome music in your head through pure emotional inspiration alone. Creating awesome music is a combination of inspiration and intellect. You need to also think about the rules of music theory. You can't just jump right in there and start creating awesome music to share to the world. I realize you're not the intellectual type of person, you really don't want to research things, and you just want to unleash your emotions through music right here and now. But, you can't create any awesome music if you're just blindly relying on your emotions without taking the time to learn things.

My Reply: I am willing to learn the things I need to learn. However, I think our brains are naturally capable of creating great works of art in our minds. I think creating awesome music in our minds naturally comes from within. It can come through sheer emotional inspiration alone. You don't need to think about anything, and you can let the inspiration alone create the awesome music in your head.

It's no different than how artists say they let the inspiration alone create the work of art. Emotions are power, force, and energy. They, alone, can be the driving force for creating some powerful and awesome music in our minds. Like I said though, only in our minds. This means some education and training is necessary to convey the awesome music you've created in your head.

Other Person's Response: If you blabber something without even thinking, then it won't make any sense. Likewise, if you create music in your head without thinking, then it will be musical gibberish. The melodies you create just won't make any musical sense. That's why your tunes are so awful. There are also other reasons why they're awful. People who rely on emotions alone won't get very far in life.

Some thought, planning, and analysis is necessary if you want to create a good work of art that makes sense to others. That even applies to creating good works of art in your head. I realize you're intellectually slow, lazy, and you're no good at thinking, planning, and analysis. That's another reason why you rely on your instincts alone to create music in your head. But, that thought, planning, and analysis really is necessary.

My Reply: If that's the case, then I'd have to use another method to create good music that expresses what I want to express. Sadly, I'm not sure if I can achieve the goal of expressing what I want to express through music, since I just might be incapable of this. Maybe I can express what I want to express if a music teacher, or some online source, helps me out. In that case, I won't give up composing.

Other Person's Response: You'd actually be thinking about something when creating those tunes in your head. You'd be thinking about the scenes, ideas, or lyrics to be inspired by. But, more thought than that is needed if you want to create good music in your head.

My Reply: I think that's all the thought that's needed. From there, you just let the inspiration do the work in creating awesome music in your head.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps you really do have some awesome music in your head that expresses what you want to express. You said you might not have accurately reproduced these tunes. So, maybe, you just need to slightly change the notes of those reproduced tunes, so they adhere to the rules of melody and rhythm writing. Perhaps then they'd become those awesome tunes you hear in your head.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: If you created a melody in your head, accurately reproduced it, but the notes of the reproduced melody had to be changed to make a completely different melody than the rubbish, nonsensical one you heard in your head, in order to adhere to the rules of melody writing, would you be alright with this new melody?

My Reply: No. If it's a completely different melody than the one I heard in my head, then it would be a melody that doesn't express what I want to express. But, the one I heard in my head wouldn't express anything anyway since it would just be a rubbish melody that makes no sense, musically speaking.

Other Person's Response: Remember, when composing melodies, you can't just compose whatever melody you're inspired to compose. That's how babies compose. It's the reason why the melodies created by babies sound awful. So, forget about using your inspiration/instincts alone to create melodies in your head. You must use another method that actually works.

My Reply: I won't know how to express what I want to express to the audience using any other method. This is the only method I have.

Other Person's Response: If you later come to realize that your method fails, and the melodies in your head really are like those created by babies, what are you going to do?

My Reply: It might be a dead end for me as a composing artist. If I can't find a way to create music that expresses what I want to express to the audience, then I'd give up composing.

Other Person's Response: You're thinking that your method actually works though. But, what makes you think you're any different than a baby, coming up with rubbish melodies in his head? Why do you think you're special?

My Reply: I talk later on about how our brains naturally learn how to create great music in our heads. It's called statistical learning. Babies haven't naturally learned how to create great music in their heads yet. Since I'm an adult, then I should be able to naturally create great music in my head that expresses what I wish to express to the audience. But, I'm open-minded towards the possibility that my method doesn't work. In which case, I really won't know how to create the music I want to create.

Other Person's Response: You say that, even if you do become a skilled composer who writes good melodies, you might not know how to create melodies that express what you want to express to the audience. That's like saying a skilled author might not know what words to choose that expresses what he wants to express to the audience. It's also like saying a skilled painter might not know what to paint that expresses what he wants to express to the audience. My point is, if you're a skilled artist, you'll instinctively know how to artistically express what you wish to express to the audience. It doesn't matter if you're a writer, a painter, a composer, or any other type of artist.

My Reply: I don't think it's like that. When it comes to melody writing, that's a different story. I'd have that writer's instinct, and the painter's instinct. That means, if I was a skilled writer and painter, I'd know what to write and paint that expresses what I want to express to the audience. But, I might not have the composer's instinct. I'm really getting the idea that melody writing is something special and different from all other fields of art.

So, if I was working in any other field of art, I'd know how to express what I want to express to the audience. But, to express what you want to express to the audience through melody writing, that's something special, and requires some greater ability. I might not have that ability. That means, even if I was a skilled composer who wrote good music, I might not have that ability.

Other Person's Response: Yes, you do need to follow certain rules when writing a melody. But, you're the artist, and you choose whatever notes and rests express what you wish to express to the audience. All you need is creativity as an artist. Once you have that and, once you follow the rules of melody writing, you're all set to create melodies.

My Reply: If my method of naturally creating melodies in my mind really doesn't work, then I'd really be clueless on how to create melodies that expresses what I want to express to the audience. I don't think it's a lack of creativity because I'm already a creative individual. I come up with many new ideas. So, perhaps something else would be hindering me from achieving my goal of creating melodies that express what I want to express to the audience.

Other Person's Response: If you’re not naturally creating music in your mind that expresses what you want to express, then why do you think it would be so difficult to create such music by studying and following the rules of music theory?

My Reply: I think it would be difficult for me to create such melodies simply because I'd have to actually take into consideration the rules of music theory when creating melodies, rather than creating melodies through inspiration alone. I'd have to limit myself to the rules when creating melodies. I’d, thus, be limited in terms of my ability to express what I wish to express through melody writing. Being restricted by these rules would make this goal very difficult for me to achieve. I'm not sure if I can even accomplish this.

Other Person's Response: You say that you're naturally capable of creating awesome music in your mind that expresses the things you wish to express. You say this is simple and easy for you because your brain naturally follows the rules of music theory in creating such music. You just let the inspiration alone do the work, and you don't have to think about anything. But, if you're wrong, and you're only creating senseless, rubbish tunes in your head, then you're saying it would be difficult for you because, now, you can no longer rely on your natural instincts alone to create music. You'd instead have to think about the rules when creating your melodies, and plan things out.

My Reply: Yes. It would be very simple and easy if I could just create awesome music that expresses what I want to express through inspiration alone, without doing any thinking or planning. When creating music becomes an intellectual exercise, that's when it becomes difficult for me. If I have to create music using method #2, rather than method #1 (my natural instincts alone), then I'd no longer have the freedom of expression that my natural instincts alone gave me. Instead, I'd have to restrict myself to certain keys on the keyboard when creating melodies, so that said melodies would follow the rules of music theory. That's what would make it difficult for me to create music that expresses what I want to express.

Other Person's Response: I think our brains are naturally capable of following some rules of music theory, such as rhythm. But, I don't think our brains are naturally capable of following other rules when making music, such as proper melody writing. In other words, a complete novice can naturally create a melody in his mind that has a rhythm. But, it wouldn't be a good, sensible melody, since it doesn't follow the rules of melody writing.

I'm sorry to say it, but I think you're only creating melodies in your mind that are senseless rubbish. It doesn't matter how much power, inspiration, and emotion you put into it because you'll always come up with rubbish melodies in your mind. Inspiration alone does not create a good work of art. You must, therefore, study and follow the rules if you wish to create some truly awesome music. The same idea applies to that complete novice because he won't be able to create any good melodies in his mind without the necessary education and training.

My Reply: That would make it difficult for me to create melodies that express what I want to express, which would make composing less appealing to me. But, I'm not even sure if there are rules when it comes to creating a melody. Can't a person create any melody he's inspired to create, as long as it has a rhythm and scale? I thought melody writing all comes down to a person's inspiration and creativity, and that there are no more rules when it comes to this.

In this Composing Discussion Section, I go by the assumption that there are no more rules to follow when creating melodies, other than having a rhythm and scale. But, at the same time, I do consider the possibility that I'm wrong, and that there are more rules. I really don't know, since I'm a complete beginner when it comes to composing. So, I don't know much at all.

Other Person's Response: So, you think your mind is naturally capable of following even the rules of proper melody writing. Do you consider the possibility that your mind isn't naturally following these rules though?

My Reply: Yes, I do. But, it really seems like the melodies in my mind sound like actual music. They sound like melodies that are actually awesome, powerful, profound, and conveying of scenes. This is why I conclude that my brain is naturally capable of following even the rules of melody writing (if there are such rules).

Other Person's Response: I do hear people say that the rules of music theory hinder creativity. If you ever watched the episode of Sponge Bob titled "Artist Unknown," you'll get the idea. So, you might be right when you say there are no rules when it comes to melody writing, and that a person can just create an awesome or powerful melody through inspiration alone.

My Reply: Well, I might be wrong.

Other Person's Response: I bet you're naturally hearing beautiful, powerful, singing voices singing these melodies you're creating in your mind. Don't let that fool you. Just because the singing voices are beautiful and powerful doesn't mean the melodies are beautiful and powerful. If a beautiful singer sang a rubbish melody, then the melody would still be rubbish, regardless of how beautiful the singer's voice was.

My Reply: Yes, I do hear awesome, beautiful, and powerful singing voices in my mind. But, from what it sounds like, the melodies also sound beautiful, awesome, and powerful.

Other Person's Response: There's an interesting youtube video I'd like to share to you:

https://youtu.be/qvVQzokeD-g

The guy in the video says you can write any melody you want. You just have to make sure it has a rhythm, and that it adheres to a scale.

My Reply: Then why do my melodies sound like meaningless rubbish for other listeners? Maybe that guy is wrong, and there are more rules to follow when it comes to melody writing. Perhaps I'm creating melodies that don't follow these rules, and maybe that's why they sound like random, nonsensical, rubbish melodies for other listeners. Then again, I could be creating awesome melodies that I just have to convey somehow to the audience. The guy in that video makes it seem like creating melodies is a natural expression of basically being human. So, I could be right when I say that human beings are naturally capable of creating awesome or powerful melodies in their minds.

If it's true that you can naturally create any melody you want, then that would make composing much more interesting and appealing to me because I'd be free to naturally create whatever melody I want from the awesome, powerful inspiration that dwells within me, and said melody being powerful or awesome (providing, of course, that I've accurately transcribed the awesome or powerful melody I've naturally created in my mind). From there, I'd have to find a way to convey the power and greatness of this accurately transcribed melody to other listeners, so that it doesn't sound like random rubbish.

Other Person's Response: Even if you do have to study and follow rules if you want to create good melodies, rather than relying on your inspiration alone to create music in your mind, and accurately transcribing said music, you can still create good melodies that express whatever you want to express.

My Reply: Having to limit myself to these rules would make it more difficult. Especially if they're rules that severely limit me. If I really have to go through this tedious, intellectual process of limiting myself to multiple rules, rather than relying on my inspiration alone to create music, then I think creating melodies that express what I want to express would be much more difficult than creating a good melody.

That's because any average person could create any random, good, sensible melody by following the rules. But, expressing yourself as an individual through melody writing would be more difficult, given that you're so restricted by these rules. I think that's because more abilities are required than simply creating any random, good melody that follows the rules. I have some powerful, profound emotions I wish to express through composing, and I think it would be difficult for me to express them to the audience if I have to be so limited by these rules.

Other Person's Response: Composing may be very appealing to you now. But, are you saying composing would be less appealing to you if you have to create music the hard way

My Reply: Yes. It would be very difficult for me to express what I want to express, and that's why composing would be less appealing to me.

Other Person's Response: If composing would be so difficult for you, then why not take up writing stories or poetry? You seem like a skilled writer.

My Reply: I'm not interested in any other field of art.

Other Person's Response: So, no other field of art appeals to you?

My Reply: That's right. Composing is the only field of art that appeals to me.

Other Person's Response: If writing isn't a field of art that appeals to you, then why did you even bother typing all this information to share to others? The very fact you've written all this shows you have some level of interest in writing.

My Reply: It's because I just want to share my personal views, and my personal experiences. But, I don't want to take up writing stories or poetry. Neither do I wish to write for any other purpose, such as writing articles or essays on scientific topics.

Other Person's Response: I'm a skilled martial artist, and I'm curious as to why you don't want to take up martial arts.

My Reply: It's because, let's pretend I was a skilled martial artist, my skill wouldn't convey the emotion/scenes I want to convey to the audience. If anything, it would just convey I'm some badass dude who's skilled at fighting. Besides, I just have no interest in martial arts. My interest lies in expressing certain things to the audience, and I've taken up composing to do that.

Other Person's Response: When the guy in that youtube video plucked out whatever melody he was naturally inspired to create, did you already hear a melody that was sensible, and not random rubbish?

My Reply: I did hear sensible melodies from this guy. Even though they're just the melodies themselves, they still sounded like meaningful melodies, and not the type of melodies plucked out by a baby. That begs the question as to why my melodies sound like random rubbish for other listeners. I mean, if this guy's melodies alone are sensible to others, then why aren't my melodies sensible to others? Maybe I just didn't accurately transcribe the melodies I hear in my mind. But, I'm quite sure I've accurately transcribed my best dark tune, along with a few others.

Other Person's Response: The guy in that video must be following certain rules when creating his melodies that he neglected to mention. Maybe that's why his melodies are sensible to other listeners, while yours are nonsensical melodies to other listeners.

My Reply: But, the guy even said that things like conversations and speeches, in of themselves, are sensible melodies. So, that already implies that you're free to create whatever melody you want, and that said melody should still be sensible for other listeners. He acts as though creating a good, awesome, or sensible melody is a natural expression, no different than having a conversation, speech, or just expressing yourself as a human being. So, he acts as though there are no more rules to follow when creating melodies, other than having a rhythm and scale.

Other Person's Response: If creating awesome or powerful melodies is a natural expression of being human, then that would be wonderful! It shows our brains naturally learn how to express certain emotions/scenes. We'd then use that naturally acquired knowledge to naturally create awesome or powerful music in our minds, or on an instrument.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Conversations, speeches, or even expressing yourself (such as yelling a certain sentence) can only amount to senseless, rubbish melodies. That's because they don't adhere to the rules of melody writing. If you listened to a president's famous speech, then the words he's speaking do convey a powerful, meaningful message to the audience. But, if you just took the pitch of each word he's speaking, then that would turn out to be a rubbish melody that makes no sense, musically speaking. If you want a melody to be good, and convey something meaningful to the audience, then that's why music theory exists. That's why you must follow the rules of melody writing.

My Reply: Well, when I listen to a powerful speech from a president in a short video clip, the melody itself of the speech sounds powerful and beautiful to me. The melody brings out the power and beauty of the speech itself. If I were to listen to the melody alone, it would be like I'm listening to the speech itself. So, I think this shows human beings are naturally capable of expressing power and beauty not only through words (such as giving a speech), but through melodies. But, for whatever reason, my melodies aren't conveying their power and greatness to the audience.

Other Person's Response: Do you think the rules of music theory are basically the rules of natural, human expression? In other words, if a person gives a powerful speech, do you think the melody of his speech naturally follows the rules of music theory?

My Reply: If there are rules when it comes to writing a melody, then I think the melody of his speech would naturally follow these rules. So, that's a "yes" to your question. If a person gives a moving, powerful speech, haven't you ever heard people in the audience say that this was music to their ears? Well, this is to be taken literally because the melody of that speech would be actual music, since it follows the rules of melody writing. But, I might be wrong. If the melodies of speeches were to be analyzed, they might not adhere to the rules of melody writing.

Other Person's Response: So, when the melodies of speeches have a rhythm and scale, you think they'd be sensible melodies?

My Reply: Yes. Some of them can be great and memorable melodies.

Other Person's Response: If any melody we naturally create would be a sensible melody, then what would constitute a senseless melody?

My Reply: It would have to be a melody that wasn't naturally created through personal expression, such as a completely random melody. Such a melody would be one plucked out by a baby. Personal expression would be things like speeches, conversations, yelling certain sentences, etc. So, any created melody that goes outside of that would have to be a senseless melody. But, some melodies created through personal expression do sound like senseless rubbish. An example would be my melodies. I'm not exactly sure why that is. Maybe I just didn't accurately transcribe them.

Other Person's Response: There are forms of natural expression that are already great works of art. For example, helping someone, and changing someone's life, would be a beautiful work of art to witness. Given this, why can't melodies themselves be forms of natural expression that are great works of art?

My Reply: Exactly. I thought human beings are naturally capable of creating awesome, beautiful, and powerful melodies.

Other Person's Response: Your melodies really make no sense, and they just don't work out. There's no pattern to your melodies in terms of melodic intervals. It seems you just have notes randomly placed all over. Melodies need to have this type of pattern in order for them to be good melodies that make sense to others.

My Reply: I'm not sure about this. I thought a person could create awesome, memorable melodies through naturally expressing himself as an individual. I know I had a music teacher once who told me to just write whatever melody I was inspired to create. He never talked about my melodies needing to have a melodic pattern. The teacher's name was Don Estes at Griggs (a place for buying music accessories).

He was an old man. So, I'd expect him to be a wise music teacher, since he's old. If he's so wise, he would've pointed out to me that my melodies need this pattern if they really needed them. Also, I only saw Don for a short while. I struggled with many miserable moments in my life, and that's why I gave up seeing him. I gave up on my composing dream entirely. But, I might see him again someday, since I'm fully recovered now, and am no longer having those miserable struggles.

Other Person's Response: If you do create some awesome, memorable music someday, do you plan on seeing your music teacher again, so you can share your music to him?

My Reply: Yes. I think he'd be quite surprised because, when I first saw him, I was only creating rubbish melodies.

Other Person's Response: Maybe the real melodies in your head do have a melodic pattern, and you're just bad at reproducing what you hear in your head.

My Reply: It's quite possible.

Other Person's Response: If you can't naturally create good, sensible music in your mind, then you say it might be difficult for you to create melodies that express what you want to express by going through the intellectual process of following the rules of music theory. Maybe you should just take it one note at a time, and see what type of melodies you can come up with. Who knows, you might be successful, and create melodies that express what you want to express to your audience.

My Reply: I'm doubtful. I already tried this while studying some rules, and it just didn't work out. When I listened to my melodies, they didn't express what I wanted to express. So, I decided to scrap these melodies.

Other Person's Response: I take it you've discovered there are rules when it comes to melody writing. You tried to create melodies that follow these rules. But, you just couldn't create melodies that express the powerful, profound scenes you wish to express.

My Reply: Correct. I put some thought and planning into it. But, it just didn't work out.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you just need to study all the techniques you can in order to create the music you want to create.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's the case.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to create catchy melodies and themes? For example, the Super Mario theme song is catchy.

My Reply: Yes. I'm failing at this, too. When I follow the rules that I studied, I just can't create melodies that are catchy and memorable.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you just need more practice to create the music you want to create.

My Reply: That could be. But, I don't know. Maybe I'm just incapable of this.

Other Person's Response: Maybe it's not a matter of it being difficult for you to create melodies that express what you want to express by going through the intellectual process of following the rules. Perhaps you just don't have this ability at all. So, even if you did acquire much knowledge and experience in composing, you just might not have this ability.

My Reply: I hope that's not the case.

Other Person's Response: You said earlier you've discovered there are rules when it comes to writing a melody. I don't think your melodies follow these rules, and that's why they sound like rubbish.

My Reply: Yes. I've studied some rules of melody writing, and I've revised my Super Sonic tune so that it follows these rules. I think I'm just no good at transcribing the awesome, memorable melodies in my mind, and that's why I need to study these rules to help me do so. Anyway, I think this Super Sonic tune now follows the rules, and this revised tune is my most recent tune I'm sharing here. So, consider this very reply to be my most recent update. As for this tune, the chords go from I-V and V-I. This would be an imperfect and perfect cadence. There's also a IV chord in there as well, which goes back to the I chord.

This would be a plagal cadence. The notes of the melody are the chord tones. I think this melody is great, memorable, and catchy. If, for whatever reason, it's still a rubbish melody that doesn't follow the rules of proper melody writing, then maybe I just need to revise this melody even more so that it follows these rules. Only then will this awesome, memorable melody I'm trying to convey be successfully conveyed to the audience. If I revise all my other melodies so they follow the rules, then maybe they will also become the great, memorable melodies I've naturally created in my mind. Anyway, here are the links to this revised Super Sonic tune, along with a few other recent melodies I've made:

Youtube Link to revised Super Sonic tune:

https://youtu.be/hRyYbMIkYBE

Soundcloud Link to revised Super Sonic tune:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... rsonictune

Music Sheet of revised Super Sonic tune:

https://ibb.co/WF2sPd2

Now, here is a lovely melody, ominous melody, and another melody I've made titled "On A Higher Level":

Youtube link to lovely melody:

https://youtu.be/aRQD7M4cERc

Soundcloud link to lovely melody:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/5lovelymelody

Music sheet of lovely melody:

https://ibb.co/yfMpPPf

Youtube link to ominous melody:

https://youtu.be/8kxgyvIUqsI

Soundcloud link to ominous melody:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/6ominousmelody

Music sheet of ominous melody:

https://ibb.co/3z0g65b

Youtube link to On A Higher Level:

https://youtu.be/Suqvzm_y7z0

Soundcloud link to On A Higher Level:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/onahigherlevel

Music sheet of On A Higher Level:

https://ibb.co/vZyy21G

Other Person's Response: I heard you had another melody, which you say is your new, best one. Could you share that?

My Reply: Sure. I think it's an awesome, memorable, heavy, dramatic melody. Anyway, here it is:

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/dcVkoXN3G6c

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/1 ... highmelody

Music Sheet:

https://ibb.co/ydypwxF

Other Person's Response: I can tell that gothic, sky high melody you just shared, starts on the dominant note in F minor (the C note), and ends on the tonic note (the F note).

My Reply: Yes

Other Person's Response: What if you make your melodies follow all the rules, but they still sound like senseless rubbish for other listeners?

My Reply: Then, like I said, something more would be needed to convey their power and greatness. Or, maybe, I was creating senseless, rubbish melodies all along.

Other Person's Response: What if you make your melodies follow all the rules, people tell you they sound like sensible melodies, but that they're lame or mediocre melodies?

My Reply: Then maybe something more is needed to convey their power, greatness, and memorable quality. Or, maybe, I was just creating lame, mediocre melodies in my mind to share to the world, and I just thought they were awesome, memorable melodies, when they really weren't.

Other Person's Response: When you transcribe the melodies in your mind, is it much easier for you to accurately transcribe the note lengths, as opposed to the note pitches?

My Reply: Yes. I have a difficult time accurately transcribing the note pitches.

Other Person's Response: Even if your brain does naturally know all the rules of music theory, it's still possible for your brain to make errors when it naturally creates an awesome, powerful, memorable melody in your mind.

My Reply: Which means I'd just need to correct those errors when I accurately transcribe that melody.

Other Person's Response: When attempting to accurately transcribe the melodies in your mind, do you sing them first, and then create a melody based off of what you sung?

My Reply: Yes. Listening to the sung version, even though it's poorly sung, since I don't know how to sing, helps me remember the melody I've created in my mind. From there, I create a melody on the keyboard, and it will be a bit different than what I've sung.

Other Person's Response: I have some advice for you. When creating a melody, make a beat first, and then make a melody that fits the beat, as opposed to creating a melody first, and then making a beat to go along with it.

My Reply: Yes. I think this is how I create melodies that actually work out.

Other Person's Response: I have another word of advice for you. If you hear a complicated series of notes and rests in your mind, don't just try to transcribe them, since that would be difficult. Also utilize the techniques of music theory to help you out, since that would make matters easier.

My Reply: Sure.

Other Person's Response: Is it easier to transcribe melodies that are just notes being heard in your mind? Or, is it easier when the melodies you hear in your head have lyrics to them?

My Reply: It's easier when they have lyrics. If, for example, I heard a complicated series of notes in my mind, that would be difficult for me to transcribe. But, if all those notes had lyrics, then the melody becomes more clear to me, and easier to transcribe. When the melody is just a bunch of complicated notes without lyrics, it's like a muddled, complicated mess that my mind has a difficult time with. If I'm not making sense to anyone, just know that having lyrics makes it easier for me to transcribe the melodies in my mind.

Other Person's Response: If your brain naturally knows the rules of music theory, then you'd already have all the knowledge you need to create awesome, memorable music in the real, physical world, and not just in your mind. So, it makes me curious as to why you think you're naturally creating awesome, memorable music in your mind, but not in the real world.

My Reply: Even though I can naturally create awesome, memorable melodies in my mind, I wouldn't know the technical details of what I've created in my mind. For example, I wouldn't know that the melodies in my mind start on the tonic note, and end on the tonic or dominant note. I could also naturally create a chord progression in my mind. But, I wouldn't know that the chord progressions would be a I-V, V-I, IV-V, IV-I, etc.

The only reason I know these technical details now is because I've read about them online. So, even though the melodies I naturally create in my mind follow the rules of music theory, I wouldn't know the technical details. I need to know these technical details because I don't think I'm skilled at transcribing my mentally inspired melodies, and knowing these details would allow me to create melodies that are awesome, memorable, and accurately transcribed, as opposed to inaccurately transcribed rubbish.

Other Person's Response: Even if your brain does naturally know all the rules of music theory, that wouldn't be enough for you to create great, memorable, catchy melodies in your mind, such as the McDonald's tune, or any other memorable tune for that matter. It requires much talent and training to create such melodies, in addition to having knowledge of the rules of music theory.

My Reply: I'm not sure that's the case. Sure, it requires talent. But, would it really require training to create such melodies in my head, when I already know all the rules of music theory?

Other Person's Response: Even if you did know all the technical details, it's still possible to inaccurately transcribe the melodies you've created in your mind.

My Reply: Which means I'd also need the ability to skillfully transcribe the melodies in my mind. If I had a professional level of this skill, then I could just accurately transcribe the melodies in my mind without even knowing any of these technical details. But, if I had a moderate level of this skill, combined with knowledge of these technical details, then I could still accurately transcribe my melodies.

Other Person's Response: When you transcribe the melodies in your mind and, from there, revise these melodies, so they follow the rules of melody writing, do they become completely different melodies than the ones you've naturally created in your mind? Or, do they actually sound like the awesome, memorable melodies in your mind?

My Reply: At first, they were completely different melodies. This frustrated me because I thought I was naturally creating awesome, memorable melodies in my mind, just to find out I had to stick with completely different melodies that actually follow the rules. They were average, mediocre melodies. From this, I concluded I must not be naturally creating any awesome, sensible melodies in my mind. If I really was creating such melodies in my mind that follow the rules, then the revised, transcribed melodies would sound like the ones in my mind.

They didn't, and I grew frustrated. But, then, I tried again, and actually discovered they do sound like the ones in my mind. A great example would be my Super Sonic melody. Therefore, I must've made the wrong revisions, which made the transcribed melodies sound different than the ones in my mind. For example, if I started the transcribed, and revised, Super Sonic melody on the notes Eb and C, rather than the notes I've chosen for the recently revised melody, which would be F and C, then that would be the chord tones of a V chord in the key of F minor, rather than a I chord in F minor.

That V chord would need to go back to a I chord. To do that, I'd need to choose notes that fit that I chord. So, my next couple of notes to complete that bar would be something like F and Ab. This ends up creating a completely different melody than the one I hear in my mind because the first few notes of the melody would be Eb and C (the notes of a V chord), and F and Ab (the notes of a I chord), rather than F and C (the notes of a I chord), and the next couple of notes I've chosen for the V chord, which would be Eb and G. I think you should look at the music sheet of my Super Sonic melody to help you understand what I'm talking about here.

Other Person's Response: So, not only is it important that your melodies follow the rules, but that you make them follow the rules in such a way that they sound like the melodies in your mind. Otherwise, you'd end up with a completely different melody than the one you've created in your mind, due to the rules putting you in a position where you'd need to choose completely different notes for these melodies that fit whole new chord progressions.

My Reply: Yes. I'd be ending up with completely different melodies that are mediocre, and don't sound like the awesome, memorable ones in my mind.

Other Person's Response: I realize you think you've made some of your melodies not only follow the rules of music theory, but made them sound like the ones in your mind. When you lose the memory of the melody you had in your mind, and you listen to the transcribed melody, does it sound awesome and memorable, like the one you remembered having in your mind?

My Reply: No. It becomes a mediocre melody that conveys a completely different scene. I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps there are more rules to follow, and I need to further revise my melodies so they not only follow these rules, but sound like the awesome melodies in my mind.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 6/12)

Other Person's Response: But, when you manage to bring back how the real, awesome melody sounded in your mind, do you see the transcribed melody as awesome?

My Reply: Yes. It's like the melody in my mind, and the transcribed melody, are the same. That puts me at a disadvantage because I wouldn't be seeing the transcribed melody for what it really is. When I lose the memory of the melody I had in my mind, then I can see the transcribed melody for what it really is. If I had the choice, I'd choose to delete that memory in my mind, so I wouldn't be blinded, thinking that the transcribed melody is awesome and memorable like the one I had in my mind, when it's not.

Other Person's Response: In regards to the melodies of famous speeches, they don't classify as actual music. They're just rubbish. But, you can make them into good, sensible melodies that not only follow the rules of melody writing, but sound close to the actual speeches themselves. Just because you have to make these melodies follow the rules doesn't mean they have to be melodies that sound completely different than the speeches.

My Reply: Sure. That would be wonderful because I could express anything I want through melody writing, and the melodies not having to be completely different than what I wanted to express.

Other Person's Response: You later thought you weren't naturally creating awesome, memorable melodies in your mind. But, then you discovered you might be, after all. Therefore, does composing appeal greatly to you now, knowing that you can just naturally create such melodies in your mind, and that you don't have to go through some tedious, intellectual process to do so?

My Reply: Yes. But, I still need to go through an intellectual process when making sure my transcribed melodies not only follow the rules, but sound like the awesome, memorable melodies in my mind. I'm perfectly alright with this, and I actually enjoy this. But, if it was the case I wasn't naturally creating any awesome melodies in my mind to begin with, then composing would be less appealing to me because it would no longer be a matter of trying to convey some awesome melody I've naturally created in my mind.

Instead, it would be a tedious, intellectual process of trying to come up with an awesome, profound, memorable melody to begin with. That would be difficult, and I might find myself giving up composing. The fact is, composing becomes much more interesting and appealing to me when I can naturally create awesome and powerful melodies from within, and just have to find a way to convey them to the audience.

Other Person's Response: Maybe the melodies you're naturally creating in your mind are just expressions at this point, and not actual music. But, if you transform these expressions into actual melodies that work, they might turn out to be awesome and memorable melodies.

My Reply: That could be the case.

Other Person's Response: I think I understand what you were trying to say earlier. The intellectual process of creating melodies that not only follow the rules, but sound similar to the ones in your mind, or similar to ones, such as any conversations or speeches you wish to express, would be much easier than not being able to do this, and instead having to create whole new melodies from scratch.

My Reply: Yes. It would be more difficult trying to create whole new melodies from scratch, that follow the rules, and express what I wish to express, as opposed to having some sort of expression in my mind, and trying to create a melody that's very close (or even exact) to said expression in my mind, while making sure the melody follows the rules of music theory.

The former method makes it more difficult for me to create melodies that express what I wish to express, while the latter method makes it much easier, since all I have to do is match whatever form of musical expression I have in my mind, whether it be a speech, someone yelling, or someone singing. If I couldn't match whatever melody I had in my mind, then coming up with these mentally inspired melodies would be pointless to begin with, since they wouldn't work out.

Other Person's Response: By the way, if someone creates a rubbish, senseless melody for someone else to listen to, then the listener can create his own vision of that melody. He could turn that rubbish into something beautiful for others to listen to. Since everyone is different, then different people will have their own, unique vision of that rubbish melody.

My Reply: Yes. Anyone could revise the rubbish melody, so that it not only follows the rules of proper melody writing, but conveys his unique vision to the audience.

Other Person's Response: Are you saying it's easier to have a musical idea in your mind, and create a melody that not only follows the rules of music theory, but sounds like what you have in your mind, as opposed to creating a melody from scratch on the keyboard?

My Reply: Yes. Creating musical ideas in my mind gives me freedom of expression, and I'd just have to match these ideas. But, coming up with melodies that express what I want to express by just playing around on the keyboard, is a much more difficult, tedious process. When I create musical ideas in my mind, what I wish to express to my audience is already there in my mind, and all I have to do is match what's in my mind. That's what makes matters much easier.

Other Person's Response: I have some advice to give you in regards to your Super Sonic melody. I think the issue here is the number of bars. Having 9 bars, followed by a bar's rest, creates an unnatural break in the flow when the tune is played again. Normally, melodies are arranged in 8 bars, 12 bars, 16 bars etc. Try changing the timing of the second part of your tune. Apart from that, the sounds & arrangement sound fine to me.

My Reply: Thanks for your response. Now, as I said before, my goal in composing is to not only create melodies that are awesome and memorable, but express the given scenes, moments, characters, etc. I wish to express to the audience. You said this melody sounds "alright" to you, which means you're acting like it's a basic, or mediocre melody. That must mean I'm not achieving my goal because, if I was, then you'd be saying something like: "WOW, THIS MELODY IS AWESOME, AND SHOULD BE FAMOUS!!! I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS BEAUTIFUL MELODY!!!"

It would be like if I've created a new, famous, nursery rhyme of my own for you to listen to. If you were to listen to it, you'd be giving such an exclamatory response. Since you're not giving such a response to this melody, I can only gather I'm not achieving my goal. It becomes frustrating when I can't achieve this goal because I'm not expressing myself to the audience. I'm not expressing the awesome, memorable emotions/scenes I think I'm expressing to the audience. So, something's not right here. 

Other Person's Response: Your Super Sonic melody really isn't my sort of music. So, I'm trying to be objective. Reactions, such as thinking something is awesome, are completely subjective, and will be different for each and every person. For ANY piece of music, you'll get some who'll love it, some who'll hate it, some who are indifferent, and everything in between. If your goal is to please everyone, you'll never achieve it.

My Reply: My goal isn't to please everyone, because I know everyone can't be pleased. However, most people can be pleased, and think a certain melody is awesome and memorable, even if it is a short melody. For example, short, famous, nursery rhymes are things many people find awesome and memorable, even though there are a few people out there who wouldn't like them. If I share this revised, Super Sonic melody to many people, and most people think it's a basic or mediocre melody that's nothing memorable, then I'd find that frustrating.

Other Person's Response: Do you expect to be those types of composers who put hours and hours into making a craft that others would enjoy? Or, are you satisfied with making short, simple melodies, as long as said melodies convey the awesome, memorable emotions/scenes you wish to express to your audience?

My Reply: I'd be satisfied with making these short melodies. Sure, I could go all the way, and be one of those hardcore composers who really pleases the audience with fully crafted songs. But, as long as I'm achieving my goal of pleasing most people with short, awesome, memorable melodies, then I think that's good enough.

Other Person's Response: I thought you didn't care about the opinions of others. So, why do you wish to please others through your music?

My Reply: It's because I wish to create music that's truly awesome and memorable, and share it to the world, so it gets heard and praised. I don't wish to be creating music that I just think is awesome, when it's really not. Imagine if someone wanted to come up with ideas that are awesome and memorable. It would be absurd and pointless for him to just dedicate his life, coming up with ideas that he thinks are great, when they're really rubbish. As a matter of fact, it would be a wasted life. So, it would be a wasted endeavor for me to create rubbish, or mediocre music, that I just think is great, and expressing of certain scenes.

Other Person's Response: It would be interesting to find out, scientifically, what makes a person talented at composing. Some people don't have talent, which means they can't create music that's catchy, and expresses what they want to express. But, other people have talent, which means they can create great, awesome, and catchy themes (such as the Super Mario theme). If science can find this out, then maybe there will be a way to invent some sort of technology that can bestow talent to untalented people.

My Reply: That would be great. That means I could have a great, composing talent right now, and create awesome music that expresses the powerful, profound scenes I wish to express.

Other Person's Response: There's a song written by Hanson called "MMMBop." That means even kids can write awesome music that expresses what they want to express. If they can do it, then so can you! After all, you're an adult.

My Reply: Well, these must be talented kids with advanced mental capabilities, since they can do this. I'm not sure if I have what it takes.

Other Person's Response: Learning how to write good music that expresses what you want to express can't be that difficult, can it? Even kids learn how to do it.

My Reply: I've been learning some music theory on a website called www.mymusictheory.com. Some things I understand on that website, while other things I don't quite understand (such as certain aspects of melody writing). I've always been the type of person who has a difficult time figuring things out on his own, and doing certain things with nobody there to help me and hold my hand the whole way through. If I tried on my own, I'd always fail. When I was in school, I required an aid (a woman) to help me because I was incapable of making it on my own. I think that's because I'm an autistic, special needs person. I talk even more about this later on.

Other Person's Response: It shouldn't be that difficult to comprehend the rules of music theory. Maybe that website explains the rules in such a way that makes it difficult for you.

My Reply: I think that is the case. When I listened to the rules of melody writing in a youtube video, it was much easier for me to understand. But, Victoria Williams (the music theory teacher on that website I linked to earlier) goes into a bit complicated detail, which makes it difficult for me. It becomes difficult when she explains melody writing. Her explanations left me with questions that I couldn't figure out on my own.

Other Person's Response: Do you find it most helpful when you create a melody, and a professional composer points out the mistakes in your melody to help you improve your craft?

My Reply: Yes. I learn best this way. If I just read up on a bunch of complicated information regarding composing, then that would make matters much more difficult for me.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you can find a professional composer online who could help you out. Maybe you could go to a forum for composers, and find a professional there.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Did you find a professional composer who could help you?

My Reply: Yes, and he said my melodies are still lacking in some things necessary to make them good, sensible melodies for other listeners. But, I don't really understand the things this guy says. So, I'll purchase 2 books I've found online, which would be "Music Theory for Dummies," and "Music Composition for Dummies." These books should give me a full, and complete understanding, of music theory and composition.

When I learn online, I might only be learning bits of information here and there, and not learning all the rules I need to know when composing music. Not only that, but professionals might say things I don't understand, since I don't have the full background level of knowledge I need to understand these things. There's also another book I later plan on getting, which is titled "Song Writing for Dummies." This book talks more about writing songs, and how to get them recognized (noticed) online by many people.

Other Person's Response: If you get these books, then you won't need to go to college, since you'll learn everything you need to learn.

My Reply: Yes. I'm sure college teaches much more than these books. But, I don't need to be a great composer like Beethoven. I just need to learn the things necessary to make good music. I don't expect to produce complex, genius compositions. So, all the material in these books would be enough to teach me how to make good music.

Other Person's Response: Do you order things online, including those books?

My Reply: Yes. I search on Amazon, and make wise, popular purchases that have many good ratings.

Other Person's Response: You don't need to buy those music books. You can just download them for free from a website called "PDF Drive." In addition, you can also download a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy book for free to help you relieve this misery-inducing worry that's been lingering on in your life. I think you can just read the book on your own, and do the exercises. I don't think you need a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

My Reply: Thank you. But, that worry is all gone now, and I'm all better.

Other Person's Response: When learning, you're expected to memorize things, such as how to draw the circle of 5ths. Did you learn how to do this yet? If so, did it stick in your mind?

My Reply: It only stuck in my mind for a little while. Later on, I forgot how to draw the circle of 5ths. So, even if I do draw the circle of 5ths many times to memorize it, and even if I do extensively memorize other things, I end up forgetting them. So, they never become permanent memories. However, knowing my note names on my keyboard, and on music sheet, is something I always remember. So, this might be a permanent memory. Perhaps I've familiarized myself with the note names for so long that it has become a permanent memory.

Other Person's Response: In order for something to become a permanent memory, it sometimes takes much repetition. Even much more than what music theory teachers recommend. Especially for people with memory impairments.

My Reply: Yes. There was a well known music theory teacher on youtube who recommended drawing the circle of 5ths a certain amount of times, so it becomes a permanent memory. I followed his teachings, and remembered how to draw the circle of 5ths for a little while. But, that memory faded.

Other Person's Response: That means, during the learning process, you might forget things often, and have to go back, and study them again, even after the amount of exercises and repetition that's recommended to permanently memorize them.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I heard your goal in composing is to share awesome, memorable compositions to the world that express the given scenes, atmospheres, etc. you wish to express to the audience. I think you shouldn't have this goal, since composing for its own sake is what matters. You should appreciate composing, and not compose only to achieve this goal. Besides, something fatal could happen to you soon, which would prevent you from achieving this goal. So, I say, just compose for its own sake.

My Reply: If I was playing a video game, and my goal was to reach a certain destination, then I'd still be intent on reaching this destination, even while knowing that enemies and traps could kill me. My point is, I'm still intent on achieving my composing goal, even while knowing there will be things in life that might prevent me from achieving this goal.

Other Person's Response: Since you've given a video game analogy for your composing goal, do you think trying to achieve your goal is like playing a video game, where you reach for the destination, even though there are enemies and traps that could kill you?

My Reply: I don't see it as a video game. I just gave a video game analogy to get my point across.

Other Person's Response: Does your music have to be famous?

My Reply: No. I just wish to share it to as many people as I can.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you couldn't achieve your composing goal, and you knew that, would you still compose anyway?

My Reply: No. I'd just go back to my previous hobby, which would be playing video games. But, nobody knows if I will achieve my composing dream or not. So, I still have every reason to not give up composing.

Other Person's Response: Is it important to you if you make money off your compositions?

My Reply: That's not important to me. What's important to me is that I create awesome compositions, and have such awesome, otherworldly power recognized, and praised by many people. I don't need to be recognized and praised as a person. I just want my compositions to be recognized and praised.

Other Person's Response: Why couldn't you just compose music, since it means something to you? I make artistic crafts, since it means something to me, and I don't need these crafts praised and noticed by anyone.

My Reply: It's because I wish to deliver something awesome to the audience. If I create an awesome composition, then I wouldn't want such awesome power to go unpraised and unrecognized. I also wish to express myself to the audience through composing, and I don't want to express myself alone.

Other Person's Response: Even if you could achieve your composing dream, you'd give up if you didn't have your positive emotions.

My Reply: That's correct. If I can't have fun and enjoy the whole process of learning, and achieving my goal, then it would be nothing valuable, precious, or worthwhile to me.

Other Person's Response: When you do have your positive emotions, would you feel eager and exhilarated to achieve your composing dream?

My Reply: Yes. That feeling of eagerness, motivation, and exhilaration would make my composing dream valuable, precious, and worthwhile.

Other Person's Response: I understand why you wish life was free of all illnesses. If you developed some potentially fatal illness that could kill you before you got to achieve your composing dream of sharing awesome, memorable music to the world, then that would be very unfortunate for you.

My Reply: Yes. If I had the choice, I'd choose to live a very long, happy life on this Earth. Not only so I could achieve my composing dream, but because this could be the only life I have, which means I'd want it to be the longest, happiest life for me.

Other Person's Response: I also realize you wouldn't want to have cancer, and live your life on a hospital bed because that would prevent you from achieving your composing dream.

My Reply: Yes. I could say the same thing about an athlete. All his athletic goals would be destroyed if he developed cancer, and had to live his life on a hospital bed.

Other Person's Response: I don't think life should be about achieving goals, and seeking after the things we want because life doesn't always meet our expectations.

My Reply: I think this is a shit life to live because, if there's a heaven, then we can achieve all the goals we want up there, and we can get anything we desire, whether it be happiness, riches, etc.

Other Person's Response: If you're just no good at composing, and you can never create any good music, would that disappoint or anger you?

My Reply: No. I'd just go back to playing video games. But, if I was having a miserable moment in my life, then it would cause me to feel enraged.

Other Person's Response: There are casual people who just make crafts because they like to do it, and don't need their crafts noticed by anyone. Then, there are those who are very serious, such as those who wish to deliver an awesome work of art to the audience.

My Reply: Yes. I would be that very serious individual. By the way, there are artists who are very dedicated and serious, but don't need to share their crafts to the audience. Just because you don't wish to deliver an awesome craft to the audience doesn't mean you're not a serious, dedicated artist. But, like I said, I'm the type of artist who wishes to share to the audience.

Other Person's Response: I heard the style of music you wish to compose is music that's awesome, otherworldly, and out of the ordinary. If you do compose such music someday, and many people give it bad ratings and comments, since they think it's frightening music, would that upset you?

My Reply: No. I'd actually consider it them to be good ratings and good comments, since my music was so great, that it frightened the audience. So, I'd consider it to be a compliment. But, if people are posting bad ratings and comments, since they think my music is rubbish, then that's a different story.

Other Person's Response: If a person was pursuing composing, then it's likely his natural, impulsive reaction would be to compose, just to make money off his compositions, or just to get his music praised and recognized by the world. Since you live by impulses, then I bet that's why your goal as a composer is to get your music praised and recognized. If you learn to transcend your impulses, then perhaps you'd be able to appreciate the art of composing for its own sake.

My Reply: Yes. Impulsive people live for money, and can't appreciate other things, since their only goal is to be rich. They also lack appreciation in general, since their impulse is to pursue whatever they desire. But, whether you wish to pursue any given field of art, solely because you wish to achieve a goal, or to just appreciate it for its own sake, is up to you. Since I'm the impulsive personality type, then I'm composing just to achieve my goal. Even when I'm apathetic, I still have this goal in mind, but don't pursue this goal, since it would have no value or worth to me without my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Since you're the impulsive type, do you wish to unleash powerful and profound emotions through composing?

My Reply: Yes. They'd be awesome, otherworldly emotions. I don't wish to unleash anger or misery.

Other Person's Response: When you do make some good compositions to share to the world, don't trash the ones that don't express the scenes you wanted to express, even though they're still good. I, myself, have composed some tunes that were great, even though they didn't really express what I wanted to express. Yet, I still kept, and treasured these tunes.

My Reply: My whole goal is to create melodies and songs that express what I want to express. If I can't achieve this goal, I'm giving up composing.

Other Person's Response: If you do make awesome compositions in the future, then you can choose to express any character you want by creating a theme song for that character. You could compose a theme for that character that gives the character a whole new personality, rather than trying to compose a theme that suits the original personality of the character.

My Reply: Yes. So, if I was creating a theme song for Sonic the Hedgehog, I could create a theme that suits him. Or, I could create a whole new theme that gives him a whole new personality. Characters are just images on the screen, and you can portray them any way you want to. You could portray them any way you like through your own compositions. Or, through compositions already out there.

Other Person's Response: Do you expect to create many awesome compositions to share to the world? Or, would you be fine with just a few?

My Reply: I'd be fine with just a few, since I have a lower standard than most people. In other words, I don't have high expectations of myself as a human being, or as a composer. As a matter of fact, I think I'd be satisfied with creating just one, awesome, short, memorable melody that expresses the otherworldly scenes I wish to express. So, I think that would be good enough. For me, at least. Other people would certainly expect more compositions from me, and I'll go ahead and create more compositions to share. But, all I'm pointing out here is that I'd personally be satisfied with just one composition.

Other Person's Response: So, you're saying you're still going to create all the awesome compositions you want to. But, that you'd be satisfied with just creating one, awesome composition that expresses what you want to express?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: When composing music, you can take melodies that already exist, and modify them a bit to make them your own melodies. Many artists do this, and there's nothing wrong with it. You won't get in trouble for doing this.

My Reply: I don't do that. I create compositions that are purely my own. That means I don't derive from other composing artists at all.

Other Person's Response: I heard people do get in trouble for copyright infringement. I wonder at what point the person would get in trouble. If someone created a character that looked exactly like Sonic the Hedgehog, but the character had different ears than Sonic, would the person get in trouble if he claimed that it's his own character? My question also applies to music. If I took a famous melody, just tweaked it a little, and claimed it was my own melody, would I get in trouble for that?

My Reply: That's a good question, and I don't know the answer. At what point would it be considered illegal to create a work of art that resembles another work of art, and to claim said work as your own?

Other Person's Response: I heard you fail at many things, including taking exams. Maybe you just need more experience. Then, you'd get better.

My Reply: Yes. But, there might be certain things I'll never be good at, no matter how much practice and effort I put into it.

Other Person's Response: Even when you're very careful and thorough, you might still fail certain tasks. That's because you don't have enough practice. So, even if you studied music theory, understood all of it, and then took the exams, you might still fail some of these exams.

My Reply: Yes. When you lack practice, that leaves much room for errors. But, when you do a certain task all the time, you make less errors, or no errors at all. There was a time I was very careful to make sure I put all the food up in the refrigerator. But, I left some food sitting out. If I was putting food up all the time in the refrigerator, then I'd have more experience. Thus, I'd be putting it all away this time. I could have so much experience in putting food up that I no longer have to be careful and thorough in making sure it's all put away. I'd just automatically put it all away.

Other Person's Response: If you achieved your composing dream, are there people in your family who wouldn't care that much about your music?

My Reply: There might be. For example, my younger brother isn't the type of person to praise music he hears. He's interested in other things. But, I'm quite sure my mother would, since she's very intrigued by my composing dream, and would love to listen to my music.

Other Person's Response: When you listen to music that isn't your style (doesn't appeal to you), and said music really is powerful and awesome, do you still acknowledge that it's powerful, awesome music? Or, do you just say it's crap music because it doesn't appeal to you?

My Reply: I still acknowledge it as powerful and awesome.

Other Person's Response: Do you plan on sharing your music to others?

My Reply: Yes. When I'm able to finally create good music in the physical world, I plan on featuring it on youtube and soundcloud. I also wish to share it with my friends and family. In addition, I'd also go on music forums, and share it there, too. My whole goal here is to create good music that makes me feel positive emotions.

It's fine if my music doesn't become famous because I'm not expecting to be famous or rich. I just want to share my music to as many people as possible because that would stroke my ego, which would allow me to feel positive emotions from their praise and recognition of my music.

That would get me all pumped up and high, which would make the moment something amazing and joyful. Consider it a moment of victory and celebration for me. But, like I said before, if my music isn't good, and doesn't get praised and recognized, then that's fine. I'll improve, so I can create good music and, hopefully, find a way to get it out there in the world, so it can get the praise and recognition it deserves.

Other Person's Response: Composing only to seek praise and recognition of your music is shallow, and being a hedonist is shallow, too.

My Reply: Shallowness is all subjective. What one person sees as shallow another might see as something profound and great. I see composing for the praise and recognition of my music as not shallow because getting my awesome music out there into the world would make my music and artistic talent known.

Me composing just for the sake of composing, and nothing more, is shallow because I'd never achieve my goal of creating the awesome, profound music I want to create, and having it known to the world. I have some unique, bizarre music I plan on sharing, and people would never get to know my unique style of music I compose.

Some people might say some of my music is possessed or demonic, and shy away from it. But, I think it would be some very interesting music, nonetheless. I have yet to become a skilled composer to create such music. As for being a hedonist, again, I don't see that as shallow either because I think positive emotions are like the holy, inner light within us that we need.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me more insight into the music you plan on making? You said you plan on making bizarre music to share to the world, and that this music might sound demon-possessed. I'd like to hear more about this.

My Reply: I could also simply describe the music I plan on making as awesome and otherworldly. That's the style of music I wish to create, and that's what I wish to express to the audience. My username is Transcended Dimensions, and you can see the avatar setup I've chosen on my youtube and soundcloud account. Said username and avatar expresses the music I wish to create.

Other Person's Response: I know you're just sharing crap tunes for now, and that you're trying to express different scenes right now, such as love (your Wedding Tune), or beauty (your Beautiful Tune).

My Reply: Yes. I'm just expressing these scenes for now. Later on, I plan on creating awesome, otherworldly music.

Other Person's Response: What type of awesome, otherworldly music do you wish to create? Would it be classical music, or the type of music you hear in horror movies?

My Reply: I'll give you an example. It would be awesome, otherworldly, divine, psychic/supernatural heavy metal. It would have a very dark, heavy, powerful, bizarre, and dramatic personality. When I say dramatic, I don't mean sad, tragic, angry, or morbid. I mean something that has a lot of awesome emotion to it. I guess you could call that "epic and astonishing," rather than "dramatic." If you ever listened to the Ginyu Transformation theme from the anime Dragon Ball Z, then this would be an example of epic and astonishing. You can listen to the theme on youtube. Here's the link to it:

https://youtu.be/Es9Fk6v5n-0

Other Person's Response: Would there also be awesome, otherworldly, divine, psychic/supernatural, heavenly music?

My Reply: Yes. I'd create that music as well. It would be something bizarre, too.

Other Person's Response: The very fact you wish to compose this style of music means you're an awesome individual. You're more than those shallow types of people who just wish to compose the same old, lame music we hear on the radio. Even if you don't have the talent to ever produce such awesome music, you'd still be an awesome, profound individual for even wanting to produce this style of music.

My Reply: Thank you.

Other Person's Response: I'll admit, you do have an awesome, musical vision, and you do have some awesome, musical ideas. But, the music you're creating is shit! Maybe you're better off creating musical ideas, rather than actual music. You can share your ideas to skilled composers, and maybe they can make a song, melody, or theme for you.

My Reply: Hopefully, I will be able to create some awesome music. Even if other skilled composers did create music for me, I don't think it would turn out how I wanted it to turn out. That's because I have my own vision of what it is I wish to convey. Each person has his own, unique vision, and one person's vision won't be exactly the same as someone else's. That's why no other composer can create the exact music I want. Actually, it could happen if I get lucky. But, for the most part, that doesn't happen.

Other Person's Response: When you say you wish to create awesome, otherworldly music, I think you're setting yourself a goal you can't achieve. You're just no good at composing. So, you might as well delete those awesome Transcended Dimensions accounts because you can never claim the great, almighty status your username and avatar expresses. Deleting these accounts would also delete all the rubbish tunes on those accounts. Personally, I think it's a joke to have this username and avatar setup, just to upload rubbish tunes onto these accounts. Why not do something better with your life than wasting your time, showing off your lack of talent? Just do a different hobby.

My Reply: I'm keeping those accounts intact just in case I end up creating some awesome music later on.

Other Person's Response: If there's one thing you've created that's good, it's your username and avatar. Your youtube and soundcloud username is Transcended Dimensions, and your avatar is Super Sonic in the cosmos. I think that's a cool combination.

Sadly, the music I listened to on your account doesn't match the greatness of your username and avatar. I'd really love to see you produce some music in the future that's just as great, or even better than your username and avatar.

My Reply: That's what I plan to do. My whole username and avatar setup is supposed to express the bizarre, cool, amazing, and otherworldly music I wish to produce and share in the future. I envision producing music down the road that could outmatch my username and avatar.

Other Person's Response: Why do you wish to produce the style of music you wish to produce? What has inspired this?

My Reply: Because it all depends on your motives. If your motive is to be a composer who spreads peace and joy, then you'd be inspired to compose peaceful, joyful music. My motive is to create awesome, otherworldly music that's out of the ordinary because I wish to go beyond what people consider to be ordinary. I wish to create something new and astonishing.

When I listen to music on the radio, yes, some of it's good. But, it all conveys an ordinary vibe to me. For example, there are songs that are very famous, catchy, powerful, and bring joy to the audience. But, that's normal and very human. I wish to create music that's not human. It would be something very bizarre, and might sound possessed or demonic.

But, when I say possessed or demonic, I don't mean music that conveys demonic beasts from the lower realms, filled with hatred. I mean music that conveys a transcended being. Referring back to my avatar on my youtube and soundcloud account, Super Sonic is a transcended, god-like being.

So, imagine my music conveying a possessed, transcended being, rather than a possessed demon. This is the style of music I wish to compose for the most part. For now, the tunes I'm sharing are of a different style, and aren't any good in their current stage of development.

Other Person's Response: I'll admit. Your username, avatar, and the style of music you wish to compose is interesting. But, can you actually produce such amazing music later on is the question?

My Reply: I hope so.

Other Person's Response: Is there any other style of music you wish to create besides what you've just described?

My Reply: There might be a few themes here and there that completely differ from the music I described. People might find them catchy. For example, they could be some joyful or lovely tunes. Speaking of joyful tunes, I'd also produce bizarre, otherworldly, heavenly themes as well.

Other Person's Response: Not only do you have no musical talent, you also amount to nothing as a human being.

My Reply: How you think determines what type of person you are. I do have profoundly awesome, beautiful, powerful thoughts that make me feel powerful, positive emotions. That, right there, already says I'm an awesome, beautiful, profound, powerful person. It's such a shame I can't express these emotions through music. I need the talent to express that, and I don't have it.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, it's how you feel that determines what type of person you are because you can't be an enraged person if you don't feel rage, you can't be a joyful person if you don't feel joy, etc.

My Reply: Yes, you're right.

Other Person's Response: Going back to what you said earlier, I see what you mean when you say shallowness is all subjective. Spiritual believers would say it would be a shallow existence if this was the only life we had. That's because we'd just be biological machines, living in a universe of pure luck and chance. Once we die, that's it. But, at the same time, people who are convinced this is the only life would say that's not a shallow or meaningless existence. They'd say it's a profoundly beautiful existence, since we only have one life, and we should make the best of it.

My Reply: Yes. As for my views regarding the afterlife, I think it would be a shallow existence if this was the only life we had. According to my view, living an eternally blissful life, where we get whatever we desire, would be the most profoundly beautiful existence. That's because such a life would offer us the greatest amount of positive emotions.

The more positive emotions you have, the more beauty and goodness your life has. So, an eternally blissful life would be the far more meaningful existence. For those who don't agree positive emotions are the source of beauty and goodness, I could instead say the same thing about positive thoughts.

The more positive thoughts we have, the more positive experiences we have in life. Thus, the more beauty and goodness our lives would have. Since an eternal life of positive thoughts would offer us the greatest degree of positive experiences, then that would be the greatest life we could live. Living a short, finite life only gives us so much positive experiences we can have.

Think of it this way. If a baby was born into this world, and had only 1 week's worth of beauty and goodness in his life before he died of an illness, then that's not very much. The baby would die, and that's it. But, if the baby got to live an eternal paradise after his physical body died, then he'd have an eternal amount of beauty and goodness.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 7/12)

Other Person's Response: I agree. If there's a life that would hold the greatest amount of beauty and goodness, then that's the better life to live. That's the more meaningful existence.

My Reply: Yes. That's why I think there should be an eternal, blissful afterlife of our dreams. If it doesn't exist, and this is the only life we have, then scientists should really work on trying to make us immortal.

Other Person's Response: If life just went on and on, then it would be a life that holds less beauty and worth, even if said life was a paradise.

My Reply: It's still possible to have the most profoundly beautiful thoughts regarding a life that drags on and on. Therefore, even an eternal, blissful life can still be the most profoundly beautiful and worthwhile existence for you. I know it would for me. So, I disagree with your statement.

Other Person's Response: If you had some fatal condition right now, and the doctor told you that you only had a few weeks to live, would you give up composing?

My Reply: I'm afraid so. There's no way I can achieve my goal within such a short time period. Since I can only compose just for the sake of composing, then I'd give up. That's another reason why I've bought these Immortality Rings because they are said to keep your body healthy and alive by preventing diseases, and stopping aging. If these rings work, then they would allow me to fully go through with my goal.

That is, if some fatal accident doesn't happen to me because the rings won't protect me from that. Also, even if I did manage to achieve my goal, but my music got little to no praise, then I'd give up, too. This is because I wouldn't be creating any good music and, thus, I'd see it as being pointless to pursue composing any further. If I try and try to improve, but my music is never that great, then I'd officially give up composing.

Other Person's Response: So, your only goal in composing is to hog all the glory and attention, and feel good from that? That makes you a leeching bastard! I'm sorry, but that's plain selfish! If you really do have an autistic gift that has yet to be conveyed to the world, that gift can be used for something better than what you intend to use it for.

My Reply: I'll take what I want in life, and I don't care what anyone's attitude or opinion is! Like I said, only my own views and opinions matter to me. I see nothing wrong with seeking praise and recognition of my music. As I said before, I don't care about the standards of others, and only my own standards matter to me.

According to the standards of others, I wouldn't be a decent human being, and I would be composing for a wrong, selfish purpose. But, according to my standard, I'm a decent human being, and me seeking praise and recognition of my music would be nothing wrong.

Other Person's Response: Why must you share your works to others? A field of art can be appreciated just as it is. You can make music simply because you want to do it. I make artistic crafts because it means something to me. If my works get shared to the world, then that's just a bonus. It's not my main reason for making crafts. That's why it doesn't bother me if my works never get shared to the world.

My Reply: The whole point of expressing yourself through art is to express yourself to others. Imagine if there was a very cool, awesome dude, and he had some awesome attributes, such as cool clothes, a cool personality, etc. If he lived a solitary life, then he'd never get the chance to express these attributes to others. Thus, his cool attributes would never be known to the world. That's why he needs to meet people, and express himself to others.

I realize there are cool attributes about me that I could express to others, such as my casual, polite personality. But, there's something greater within me that I have yet to express to the world. I have some awesome, profound, and powerful emotions to express to others through music. It's my mission that I achieve this goal. I don't want said greatness to be confined. I want it expressed to the world. Once people realize said greatness, they should be astonished.

Other Person's Response: Do you express your cool attributes to the world? If not, then why be concerned about expressing yourself musically to the world? Why not compose for its own sake?

My Reply: I'm not concerned about expressing my attributes such, as the clothes I wear, and how I behave. This is because I'm not concerned about that. Those are personal things to me, and I don't care if the world praises, and recognizes them or not. It would be like how a person doesn't care if his preferences are shared to the world.

But, there's one thing I wish to express to the world, and that would be my music. If I create awesome music, that would definitely be worth sharing. But, things, such as the clothes I wear, and how I behave, are basic things that I don't care about sharing to others. Besides, there are emotions that I can only express through art that I can't express as an individual.

Other Person's Response: I really think you need to appreciate composing for its own sake, rather than composing to get what you want out of it.

My Reply: When people manufacture products, they don't make products just to make them. They do it to make an awesome product that's promising to the customers. Some people make awful products that don't work, and some people make products just to make them. But, that's beside the point. The point I'm trying to make here is that, if I'm going to make some music, then it has to be awesome music that delivers to the audience. It must be known, praised, and given good ratings. I'm not going to make music just to make music.

Other Person's Response: I know there are people out there who can't appreciate good products. So, even if you do make some awesome music later on, some people might not appreciate it.

My Reply: I agree. Not everyone is going to think a given melody, theme, or song is great. Likewise, there are some great products out there, and not everyone's going to think said products are great.

Other Person's Response: When creating music for the audience to listen to, don't stop at any given point in the crafting process, say your music is good enough, and that the audience just needs to lower their standards, so they can appreciate it. Make sure you create a fully crafted melody, theme, or song that delivers.

My Reply: Sure. But, as long as I create an awesome melody, theme, or song, and its power and greatness has been successfully conveyed, then the audience should appreciate that. If further improvements are needed, then the audience should kindly point them out, rather than dismissing and not appreciating the power and greatness that's already there. Just because a work of art needs some improvement doesn't mean it's not a good, beautiful, or great work of art, and that it holds very little to no profound meaning. It would simply be a great work of art that needs some improvement to make it even more great.

So, when people witness great works of art that need some improvement, they should praise these works while, at the same time, offering constructive criticism. Just offering constructive criticism without the praise isn't fair. Saying the work of art isn't good because it needs improvement just isn't fair. But, offering nothing but praise for a work of art without any constructive criticism isn't fair either. So, you should offer both praise (if the artwork is deserving of it) and constructive criticism (if the artwork needs it).

However, there are works of art that don't need any constructive criticism because they're at their peak of perfection. For these works of art, we'd just give them praise. But, there are some people who wouldn't like these works of art because it's just not their style. For example, some people wouldn't like Beethoven's music. That's alright because different people will have different styles of music, drawings, paintings, etc. they prefer. Then, there are works of art that deserve constructive criticism, but are unworthy of any praise. An example of these types of artwork would be tunes plucked out, on a keyboard, by a baby.

Other Person's Response: So, you'd actually have 2 main goals when it comes to composing:

1.) To produce some awesome music, and have it known and praised.

2.) To feel happiness and joy in pursuing #1, and achieving #1.

My Reply: Correct. #1 without #2 would be a worthless endeavor. But, even if I could feel happiness and joy in the absence of #1, I still wouldn't bother composing because I wouldn't be able to create good music, and have it known and praised by the world. That's why a combination of #1 and #2 is needed.

Other Person's Response: Honestly, achieving your goals shouldn't really matter because, once you die, that's it. Your compositions will never become legend, and they'll be forgotten.

My Reply: Well, this might not be the only life, and there might be some grand purpose or meaning to life. That being the case, achieving my goals would matter. This would mean my works wouldn't just waste away. Now, if I did learn that this was the only life, then achieving my goals would still matter to me. It wouldn't matter to me as much though. Why would it still matter to me? Because I still wish to achieve goals anyway. I bet Stephen Hawking's goals, or Beethoven's goals, would still matter to them, even if they were convinced this was the only life they had.

Other Person's Response: Why go through all the trouble of trying to compose awesome music? Why not just wait until your soul goes to the afterlife? You would then be bestowed with the ability to magically and instantly transform your inner emotions into music for other souls to listen to.

My Reply: This could be the only life though. There might be no soul or afterlife. In which case, I must live the longest life I can here on Earth, and I must compose awesome music the hard way through education and training. I have purchased Immortality Rings, and I hope they work to make me live a long, Earthly life.

Other Person's Response: What if it turns out these tunes you're hearing in your mind really are as great as you say they are?

My Reply: Since my claim that these tunes I'm hearing in my mind were great tunes was a true claim I was making all along, then other people should really keep an open mind to my other claim, which was that positive emotions are the only things that make life good and beautiful.

As I said before, I have autism, and autistic people have great insight into themselves, and their own personal experience. Many discover new ideas that humanity was blind to, and in denial of. If you don't believe I have autism, then go ask my mother, and she will tell you.

Other Person's Response: You don't have to create good, emotionally powerful music. You can just create music because you like to do it as a hobby.

My Reply: My whole goal in making music is to create music that's great, unheard of, and emotionally powerful or profound. To me, it's not about the craft itself. Even if I made the most artistically crafted song, but said song only conveyed a bland, unattractive emotion, then that craft wasn't something to be proud of. Think of the lame music you hear on the radio. From there, imagine a well-crafted version of that. It would still be lame music. So, to me, music is all about that emotionally powerful, profound greatness. Without that, then I've failed my mission as a composer.

Other Person's Response: Are you expecting to be as great as Beethoven?

My Reply: No. I just want to create music that's awesome, catchy, and emotionally powerful or profound. It would be like music for video games or anime. When you hear theme songs for characters in popular anime or video games, they're often something catchy, awesome, bad ass, and emotionally epic or dramatic. That's the style of music I'm going for. However, it's something much more bizarre than that.

Other Person's Response: Are you trying to be the better composer than anyone else?

My Reply: No. The type of praise and recognition I'm seeking isn't the type that the person with the biggest muscles, the best stunts, or the greatest intellect would receive. It's the type that a person with a unique and awesome, artistic vision, or craft, would receive.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to go to college and go into a music business?

My Reply: No. I'm much better off learning at home and composing that way. I can learn all I need to learn online. It would just be a waste of money, when I could've become a good composer at home. Besides, I wish to pursue composing as a hobby, and not as a career.

Other Person's Response: Wouldn't you feel positive emotions from inspiring others through your music? Do you only feel positive emotions when others compliment your music?

My Reply: I don't feel inspired or driven to inspire and help others in general, or through my music. Although, I'd feel positive emotions from having inspired others, and giving them something good to listen to. So, in the process of me feeling positive emotions from making music, and having my music praised, I'd also feel positive emotions from others being inspired through my music. Right now, I can't share any good music, since I have to learn how to create good music.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to be a performer?

My Reply: No. I have a keyboard, and all I want to do is use it to figure out these notes I'm hearing in my head. I do not plan on performing my music, or any other type of music. I figure out the notes on the keyboard, and place them on a music notation software. From there, I'd use music producing software to choose better instruments for them.

Other Person's Response: We as human beings project meaning upon things all the time. Even meaningless things become meaningful to us. It's quite possible you're projecting certain meanings upon these tunes in your head, which are actually gibberish tunes. If I were to write down a series of randomly placed notes, then I bet you'd report to me that this "melody" conveys something.

My Reply: I performed this little experiment on myself, where I placed a bunch of random notes down, and listened to them. I still perceived the "melody" as random gibberish. So, it's quite possible I really am creating tunes in my mind that are catchy and amazing.

However, if I were to somehow perceive that random melody as conveying something meaningful and catchy, then it's quite possible my brain is creating a different tune from that, which would be a tune that does convey something meaningful and catchy.

My brain might be trying to make sense of that random melody and, in order for my brain to do that, then it has to create a melody out of that random mess, which would be a meaningful, catchy melody.

Other Person's Response: You have to give me evidence that you're instinctively creating great tunes in your head. Otherwise, I'm not going to believe you.

My Reply: In the past, I've sung my tunes on the microphone, since I didn't have a keyboard at the time. But, I don't know how to sing. When people listened to them, they said they were awful. But, I knew all along the good tunes I was really trying to convey, even though people didn't get them.

There was one person who has conveyed these tunes for me. These are just 3 tunes here. The instrument choice this guy has chosen for my tunes is different than the ones I had in my head. But, the 1st two tunes are very close to what I intended to convey.

So, he got those 2 tunes right, for the most part. If anyone thinks these tunes are good and catchy, then I think that's evidence, right there, that I'm creating great, catchy tunes in my mind. These tunes of mine you hear in this video aren't my best ones.

I've created powerful, amazing tunes in my head that I have yet to convey myself. But, for now, here are these tunes of mine I'll share to you. When you watch this video, you hear my voice singing, along with instruments the guy has chosen.

Also, scroll down to the comments section below in this video, and you'll see that it really is me. A person mentions my name in the comments section. He/she says: "I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU MATT! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" So, here's the video:

https://youtu.be/IuTvz0yBoFE

Other Person's Response: I'm sorry. Yes, your tunes that this guy conveyed for you are catchy. But, they're nothing good.

My Reply: If those tunes are catchy, then that's something worth praising and appreciating. It says that I'm creating catchy tunes in my head, and that should be enough, right there, to appreciate for now. Too many people complain, and they don't appreciate the beautiful, amazing, good things in life.

If a work of art has good qualities, but many bad qualities, then many people complain, and call the whole work of art awful when, in fact, there are still good qualities about that artwork worth appreciating. Sure, constructive criticism is needed in order for a person to improve. But, such criticism shouldn't dismiss the good qualities of an artwork worth appreciating.

So, yes, those tunes might be awful in certain regards. But, if they're still catchy tunes, and convey scenes, then that's a good quality worth praising and appreciating. Even the people in the comments section of the video appreciate this. Therefore, a fair assessment of my tunes would be something like:

"Man, those tunes are awful in certain areas! But, wow, they're catchy and convey scenes! I see great potential in you as a composer. But, these specific areas still need improvement."

This would really be no different than if someone was a dancer, and there were some judges. If the dancer had good form, but poor timing, then his good form was something worth praising and appreciating. From there, his timing should be criticized. But, to say that this dancer is awful, and has no talent, would be an unfair assessment, since that would be leaving out things worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Who are you to say things like this? You're an insult to musicians everywhere!

My Reply: The truth is often times insulting, and I'll not hold back from expressing the truth.

Other Person's Response: Those tunes in that video aren't even worth appreciating, since they're nothing catchy or good.

My Reply: I think I might have a difficult time telling the difference between the real good, catchy tunes I hear in my mind, as opposed to what's been produced in reality. So, from my perspective, the tunes in that video are the real, good, catchy ones I had in my mind all along.

But, perhaps they're really not, which is the reason why other people say they're not good or catchy when they listen to them. Or, maybe, they are good and catchy, and you're just having too high of a standard when it comes to what you deem as a good or catchy tune, theme, or song.

After all, many people liked the video, there weren't that many dislikes, and all the people in the comments section loved these tunes. So, I think this clearly shows you're having too high of a standard. I really love people like the ones in the comment section, who are able to appreciate and praise works of art that deserve appreciation and praise.

Again, I do agree with the idea that constructive criticism should be offered in addition to praise. But, I don't agree that constructive criticism should completely overshadow any praise that's deserved, and neither do I agree that praise should completely overshadow any constructive criticism. People should also keep their standards at a reasonable level and not so high that they can't appreciate things.

Other Person's Response: In regards to standards, I think it's best to have a high musical standard, and to not settle for a moderate standard. This will compel a person to be the best composer he can be.

My Reply: I think it's best to have a moderate standard while, at the same time, encouraging a composer to be the best he can be. Such a standard would leave a person saying something such as:

"Those tunes of yours really are good and catchy! I really love them, and find them unique! I see great potential in you, and I'd love to see you at your best!"

As you can see here, having a moderate standard can still encourage a person to be the best he can be, while also leaving plenty of room for appreciation and praise. It doesn't demand growth, but simply offers it up as encouraging advice. But, having a high standard, like you're suggesting, may encourage a person to be at his best. But, it leaves little to no room for praise and appreciation.

A moderate standard leaves room for praise of works of art that meet both a moderate standard, and a high standard. But, a high standard only leaves room for praise of works of art that meet a high standard. I realize a low standard would leave room for praise of works of art that meet a low standard, a moderate standard, and a high standard. But, the goal is to have a reasonable standard, and I think that standard would be the moderate standard. It's neither too high nor too low.

So, a high standard leaves too much room for criticism, and little room for praise and appreciation, while a low standard leaves too much room for praise, and little room for criticism. That's why I think the moderate standard is the right standard to have. It's the fair standard to have, which makes the low and high standards unfair. In my opinion, I think the moderate standard should be the universal standard everyone should agree upon.

Other Person's Response: That doesn't justify disregarding valid criticism, just because you don't receive praise as well.

My Reply: I agree constructive criticism should be offered, and taken into consideration, even if it's offered without the praise. All I'm saying here is that it's unfair for a person to just offer criticism, without the praise, or praise without the criticism.

Other Person's Response: That's an opinion that you're entitled to. Don't consider it factual though.

My Reply: I'll just give an example to show how it's unfair and insulting. For example, if someone on American Idol sang quite well with some flaws, then if Simon Cowell just displayed his rude attitude, and only offered criticism, then that would be plain rude and unfair. However, if he also offered the praise that was deserved, then that would be the right thing to do.

Other Person's Response: You only give praise when you can really find anything good about something. You don't just praise whatever you see to make the creator happy. You praise something to let the creator know of what's positive in a certain art piece, and let them know what to keep in, and what to improve, or leave out.

Always expect feedback. But, don't expect people to just shower it with praise, or bombard it with criticism. You can only know about people's opinions, once they've provided feedback. Before said feedback is provided, you have the right to judge your own works of art however you want. However, you can't impose your opinion on everyone else.

You just might like different things people here do, and that's ok, honestly, as long as you don't complain about our standards by saying they're "too high." They're are different. But, not necessarily high. I don't know how to talk anymore. I shouldn't keep talking to no avail.

My Reply: People can have a different style of comedy, or music, which prevents them from appreciating the greatness of certain types of comedy, or music. So, having a high standard isn't the only thing that prevents people from praising and appreciating works of art. As for standards though, I think the moderate standard should be the universally agreed upon standard because, like I said before, it's neither too high, nor too low. It's just right.

Other Person's Response: Well, unfortunately, that renders basically your whole post moot because no one is going to have the exact same standards you have that you consider "moderate standards," as that's really subjective. You might as well not have shared this packet at all if this is the basis for all your responses to people's posts.

My Reply: I thought there was a low, moderate, and high standard that was objective because I thought there was a way to objectively determine what works of art are good, magnificent, bad, or horrendous. If these objective standards don't yet exist, and it's currently subjective, then surely there must be a way to objectively determine them.

Other Person's Response: When you naturally create music in your head, having no knowledge of how music works, you won't create any good music that expresses what you want to express to the audience. But, having much knowledge in composing, you can naturally create such music. At first, you will have to put much thought into creating music when you're first learning how to do it. That's because there are rules to follow, and things to take into consideration. But, over time, you'll naturally create good music.

My Reply: I hope I can naturally create good music that expresses what I want to express then. I hope I can achieve this goal someday. People might tell me to give up composing right now, since I'm no good at it. But, I'll only give up when I'm absolutely sure that I can't achieve my goal of creating the music I want to create.

Other Person's Response: Could you explain why composing means so much to you?

My Reply: I'll explain. First of all, music is just what means so much to me. Simply put. Secondly, all other forms of art are quiet. They don't make noise. For example, if an author has written a good story, or if a painter has created an awesome painting, then the other person would just have to look at the painting, or read the story. But, music is different because you could blast the stereo or computer speakers.

I'd consider music to, thus, be a more potent form of art. It's more loud and impulsive than other forms of art. It seems to be more expressive than, say, a story or painting that quietly sits there, waiting for the audience to read it, or look at it. Music gets right in your ears. It's like a person screaming into your ears.

If it was a calm, relaxing song, then it would be like someone speaking gently to you. My point is, music speaks or screams, while all other forms of art are quiet. Sure, other forms of art do speak, or scream, in their own way (which would technically classify them as "noisy" works of art in their own, unique way). But, music is just what means so much to me.

I think it's a fact that many people prefer music over other art forms. If you ask many people, I bet they'd tell you they'd prefer to listen to some loud, awesome music, than to sit or stand there, reading an awesome story, or looking at an awesome painting. For me, music is the greater form of art, since it triggers the greater emotional response within me than other art forms.

Actually, it would be having a combination of sound, music, imagery, and story that would trigger the greater emotional response within me. For example, if I heard the loud noise of a monster, while also witnessing the image of the monster out of nowhere, that would trigger the greater fear response within me than simply hearing, or looking at the monster.

Another example would be that witnessing a female character, witnessing her actions, knowing her story/personality, hearing her theme song, and hearing her voice would trigger the greater feeling of beauty, or love, within me than simply witnessing the image of this female character. So, it's when different forms of art combine that create the greater work of art, and the greater, more profound, emotional response.

For example, the Legend of Zelda and Super Mario are great games. They combine imagery, sound, and good story telling. If it was just the story, sound, music, or imagery, then that wouldn't be as great as the video games themselves which combine all those forms of art. It just wouldn't trigger as powerful of an emotional response within the audience.

I'm not saying I wish to pursue multiple fields of art to create video games or movies, which combine multiple forms of art. I just wish to pursue one field of art, and stick with it. That would be composing. I have no interest in any other field of art anyway. Now, I realize all fields of art are equal, and no one is inferior to the other. But, for me, composing is what I want to do.

Other Person's Response: If you were to ask people if they'd prefer to listen to awesome music, or to instead look at awesome paintings, and read beautiful stories, I bet many people would prefer to listen to music. They'd prefer to just crank up their speakers, and groove to the music. That shows many people are more moved and motivated by music than any other art form. So, I understand why you want to make music, rather than painting, or writing stories.

My Reply: Yes. For me, music evokes the more profound and powerful emotion than any other art form.

Other Person's Response: Even though music triggers the more powerful and profound emotion than any other art form for you, do other works of art still trigger powerful and profound emotions for you?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If you ever do compose some awesome music that expresses what you want to express to the audience, you can combine your music with Sonic the Hedgehog videos, or any other type of video you see your music fitting to. That would certainly create a greater work of art than having the music alone.

My Reply: That's what I plan on doing. Also, take note that, even though I'd use Sonic the Hedgehog video clips, my music wouldn't suit the Sonic universe. My music would be very powerful, evil, bizarre, otherworldly, and awesome. So, I'd be expressing Sonic in my own, unique way. I'd also use Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball Super video clips as well for my awesome music. That is, if I ever do create such awesome music someday.

Other Person's Response: I see you're someone who wishes to express emotion through music, and you're not someone intellectual, such as a person who'd want to play chess, or learn physics.

My Reply: Correct. Even though I'm not an intellectual genius like Einstein, or an amazing chess player, I'd consider myself to be an emotional genius. My fully crafted music wouldn't be great like Beethoven's or Bach's music. But, I'd still consider it to be the work of an emotional genius who expresses powerful and profound emotion. You don't have to be the best composer in the world to be considered a genius. For example, I consider Koji Kondo to be a genius, since he makes music that so many people love and find catchy.

Other Person's Response: You do realize there's some intellect involved when it comes to making music, and that it's not all emotional? For example, you have to take into account the rules of music theory, and things like this.

My Reply: I realize this. But, I'm not willing to pursue intellectual endeavors for their own sake, such as playing chess, doing riddles, calculus, or any other intellectual exercise.

Other Person's Response: When you say you wish to create awesome, memorable music to share to the world, are you wanting to give to the world?

My Reply: It's a matter of wanting to showcase, rather than a situation like wanting to give money to the poor, or wanting to help humanity. Basically, I just wish to show off something great and awesome. That is, if I ever do create such awesome music someday.

Other Person's Response: If you can never create the music you want to create, then why not just make AMVs (anime music videos)? You can take music that already exists, and add it to video clips.

My Reply: I don't want to do that.

Other Person's Response: When something is sung such as: "Tyler, Tyler, he's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can!," wouldn't that be the chorus part of a song?

My Reply: Yes. Many of my melodies are the chorus part of a song. The chorus would be the most emotionally intense part of the song.

Other Person's Response: I realize those naturally inspired melodies in your head do adhere to a scale, and aren't just randomly chosen notes. But, that's not enough in order for a melody to be meaningful, great, and conveying of certain scenes to listeners. So, even if you do fully craft your melodies, and give context to them, they'd still be rubbish, even though they do adhere to a scale. The fact is, your melodies are lacking in other attributes necessary to make them great and meaningful. You claim the chosen notes and rests of your short melodies make them great and memorable, just like those short tunes, such as the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune.

You're wrong. It takes a well-trained, and well-educated composer to create great and memorable melodies like this. It can't be done through naturally creating tunes in your head through inspiration. It doesn't matter how powerful the inspiration is because no amount of inspiration can trump training and education. Can a martial artist become a fighting master just through his inspiration and passion alone? No! He needs to be trained and educated in martial arts to come up with some good moves. He can't expect to come up with some awesome moves in his mind if he doesn't know martial arts. If he does come up with moves, then they'd just be rubbish moves.

My Reply: I think I just need to revise these melodies, so they match up with the great ones in my head.

Other Person's Response: Speaking of your best dark tune, I do see a pattern in terms of the notes. For this tune, you use the notes G, C, Ab, Eb, and F. C, Eb, and G is the C chord in F minor, and the notes F and Ab would be the notes of an F chord in F minor. The C chord would be the dominant chord in F minor, while the F chord would be the tonic chord in F minor. A dominant chord going to the tonic chord, or a tonic chord going to a dominant chord, would be a perfect or imperfect cadence.

My Reply: Thanks for pointing that out! I find it quite interesting how my naturally inspired melodies end up having a pattern to them. All of my melodies might not have a pattern to them though.

Other Person's Response: Haven't you ever come up with an idea in your head that you thought was good, only to find out it makes no sense, and just doesn't work out? My point is, you might be coming up with melodies in your head that you think are awesome, memorable, and expressing of certain scenes. But, perhaps later on you'll find out that was never true. You might find out that they really were rubbish melodies.

My Reply: Yes, that did happen to me. I did come up with certain ideas for video games that I thought were good, only to find out they don't work out. I shared my ideas to video game fans on forums, and they told me why my ideas are no good. But, I'm not sure if the same thing applies to the melodies I'm creating in my head. This might be a different situation.

Other Person's Response: I bet your ideas for video games were good, and people were just bashing them.

My Reply: If I was someone working for Nintendo or Sega, the Nintendo or Sega team would also tell me my ideas are bad, make no sense, and don't work out. I don't think a single person there would tell me my ideas are good. If I listen to people who are experienced professionals, rather than blindly accepting the opinions of people, such as you and my mother, I'll get the real truth.

Other Person's Response: You say the Nintendo or Sega team would be telling the truth if they told you your ideas are no good. I thought you couldn't decide what's true though.

My Reply: I don't think it would be a situation where the Nintendo or Sega team would debate whether my ideas would be good or not. They'd all tell me they're no good. Besides, these are the creators of famous video games, such as Sonic the Hedgehog, and Super Mario. So, they know what's best for these games.

Other Person's Response: There are fans who think the Nintendo or Sega team are doing things all wrong. For example, Sega fans would say the recent Sonic games suck. The fans preferred Sonic back in the old days. That means there are fans who disagree with the ideas put forth by Nintendo or Sega. Likewise, there are ideas put forth by fans that Nintendo or Sega disagrees with. Even if these are experienced, hardcore fans, there will still be a disagreement between their ideas, and the ideas put forth by Sega or Nintendo. They'd find themselves in a debate, where the ideas would be debated. So, even your ideas would be put to debate.

My Reply: In which case, I really wouldn't know then if my ideas are good or not, given that they'd be debated.

Other Person's Response: If you realize that your mentally inspired melodies really were rubbish all along, would you still hear them as great, and conveying of those scenes you described? Or, would you now hear them as the meaningless rubbish that they really are?

My Reply: It's quite possible I'd still hear them as great and conveying of those scenes. Let me give you an example to illustrate my point. If Jake was nice and harmless, and Jon thought he was cruel and harmful, then if Jon later learned that Jake really was nice and harmless, then Jon might still feel that he's cruel and harmful anyway. Jon might still get that same vibe from Jake. My point is, certain thoughts or feelings can still linger on, even though we realize the truth. Another example would be phobias. People know the truth that there's no reason to fear. But, they still fear anyway.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you successfully conveyed your melodies to other listeners, and there were experienced musicians debating whether your melodies are meaningless rubbish, or if they're awesome, then you're saying you'd have to remain undecided on this?

My Reply: Yes. I wouldn't know if my melodies are meaningless rubbish or not. That even applies to my melodies as they are now, in their beginning stage of development. If people debate whether my melodies will be great, or if they'd be rubbish once they become successfully conveyed, I'd have to remain undecided on this as well.

Other Person's Response: If your melodies really were great, and did follow all the rules of composing, then people would be hearing them as great. If a melody truly is great, then it should sound great on its own. Thus, there'd be no need for anything more than the melody itself for others to listen to. But, having more would further bring out the melody's power and greatness. The reason why your melodies convey no power and greatness whatsoever to others is because that's what they really are. They're just rubbish melodies.

My Reply: Even if you do create a melody that's great, and follows all the rules of composing, the melody alone might still sound like a tune, plucked out by a baby. So, I really do think more things are needed to bring out the power and greatness I see in my melodies, such as the proper chords, harmony, etc. Also, a person could create a melody that follows all the rules of composing, successfully convey that melody to the audience by adding in all the proper chords, harmony, etc., and the melody having the context of an entire song, but it still sounding like a meaningless melody, plucked out by a baby.

That's because something more is required to make a melody great or meaningful, other than having a melody that's successfully conveyed, skillfully follows all the rules of composing, and has the context of an entire song that's also successfully conveyed, and skillfully follows all the rules of composing. It must be a melody that actually expresses something great or meaningful. That means it must be a melody inspired from within. It must be inspired by the power, greatness, and meaning within yourself.

The same idea applies to creating a song that's also great or meaningful. So, following the rules when it comes to creating artwork doesn't make a great, memorable, or meaningful work of art. Rules are there just to assist you. They help you create a great or meaningful work of art. But, it really all comes down to inspiration. Once you've been inspired to come up with a great, meaningful work of art in your head, the rules would be there to help you convey your awesome vision to the audience.

Other Person's Response: If you created any melody, or theme, that follows all the rules of music theory, and said melody, or theme, has been successfully conveyed to the audience, you're saying it might still sound like senseless rubbish, plucked out by a baby? You're saying it's inspiration that creates the awesome, sensible melodies and themes, while the rules are simply there to help you convey said melodies and themes to the audience?

My Reply: Yes. You can have an awesome, sensible melody, or theme, that follows all the rules of music theory. But, it's possible to have a senseless, rubbish melody, or theme, that also follows all the rules of music theory. So, it's inspiration and talent that determines if you create some awesome, sensible melodies and themes, or not. The rules are just there to assist you, and help you make necessary revisions.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 8/12)

Other Person's Response: Imagine if there was a lame, mediocre song on the radio that many people hated. The melody is very lame, and people just find it bland. Even if the song was given much more craftsmanship to make it a skillfully crafted song, it would still be lame music. The melody, even though it was given much more artistic detail, would still be a lame, bland, mediocre melody. So, that says you can be a very skilled composer, with much knowledge and experience, who follows all the rules of composing. But, that doesn't mean you're going to create good music.

My Reply: Yes. It all comes down to inspiration, since that's what really creates the awesome music. If you're the type of person who's inspired to come up with lame, mediocre music, then that's unfortunate for you. But, if you're inspired to come up with some awesome music, then that's wonderful!

Other Person's Response: If our brains are equipped with musical knowledge, then why don't you naturally know things, like a good chord progression?

My Reply: Although I could naturally create a good chord progression in my head, since my brain can do that, I'd have to accurately reproduce that chord progression. I might get it wrong. Since there are so many different types of chords, then that makes it more difficult to reproduce chords than reproducing single notes I hear in my head. For example, if I was hearing a C chord in my head, I wouldn't know what type of C chord it is. So, I might reproduce the wrong type of C chord.

Even though I can naturally produce good music in my head, I don't actually know the technical aspects of what's going on. So, that leaves me in a position where all I can do is try to reproduce what's in my head without actually having any musical education to help me out. In other words, the type of musical knowledge I have is simply knowledge that allows me to naturally create good music in my head (i.e. knowledge gained through statistical learning). But, it's not the type of knowledge gained through education, which would help me out, and give me insight.

Other Person's Response: I heard your father is a talented musician. So, maybe you have some of his talent, and you are making some great tunes!

My Reply: I'm open-minded towards the possibility that these tunes in my mind are rubbish, even though I claimed they're great. I think they're great. But, that doesn't make it so. In regards to my father, he's a talented musician. He's a very skilled guitar player, and he's been playing the guitar for many years. My mother also has some musical talent, and the DJ tells her she's a good singer.

But, what about me? I could have some natural musical talent I have to convey to the world. Or, maybe, I never had any musical talent. Lastly, in this packet, I say a lot of things to give people an open mind to the possibility that I really do have a musical talent others don't realize yet. I have every reason to think these tunes I'm making in my head are great, and I explain these reasons. I also explain many more things.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think you have no talent. You have no abilities whatsoever as a human being.

My Reply: Maybe you're right. If I'm no good at composing, then playing video games is the only other hobby I'm interested in, and it's the hobby I've been doing my whole life. I love the Super Mario and Zelda games because they're adventure games. I completed these games many times, and my mind loves to go on a beautiful, joyful, peaceful adventure through my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to be a composer, since your dad is such a skilled musician?

My Reply: No. Composing is just something I wanted to do.

Other Person's Response: Does your brother have some musical talent?

My Reply: No.

Other Person's Response: What is the point in writing this whole packet? It's a waste of time and effort. All that time and effort could be dedicated to fully crafting your music, which you claim is so great.

My Reply: By writing all of this, I'm showcasing my own support and defense for my claim that I really do have a musical talent. Besides, I have an obsession when it comes to sharing my personal views, and that's why I write so much. But, if I don't have a musical talent, then all the things I say in this packet might as well be a matter of showcasing just how much of a pathetic joke I am. If I really have no talent, and amount to nothing as a human being, then why not waste time and effort writing all of this?

Other Person's Response: Well, I don't think it's a waste of time and effort writing these packets. If you're wrong, and you never had a musical talent, then people can look back at this packet anyway, and gain insight into your way of thinking, and looking at things. I think people would still find it interesting to read.

My Reply: Sure.

Other Person's Response: Is there another reason why you write this whole packet?

My Reply: Yes. If I have no mental, musical talent, and everything I'm saying is all lies, then I might as well amount to nothing more than someone who writes bull shit. So, I might as well write this whole packet.

Other Person's Response: I think your Super Sonic tune is really good!

My Reply: The thing is, I want the cold, hard truth as to whether my melodies are great or not. That means I must get feedback from professional musicians, rather than average people. So, just because you think my Super Sonic tune is good doesn't mean it is. It could be some average, lame tune. Or, maybe, it is great, and other people don't realize this yet, since more things are needed to bring out the melody's power and greatness. If it's the truth my melodies aren't good, then I'm prepared for such truth, and won't be upset one bit by it.

Other Person's Response: I think your tunes suck! Just because you envision yourself as a professional musician in your head, coming up with awesome melodies, doesn't make it so.

My Reply: What's wrong with my tunes, and what makes them so bad? Are there any technical flaws making them awful? I especially ask this question in regards to my Super Sonic tune because this is my most recent one.

Other Person's Response: What does your mother think of your tunes? If she thinks they're great, then she has no clue what she's talking about!

My Reply: I have shared them to her, and she does think they're great. My father lives somewhere else. But, if I shared my tunes to him, he might think they're awful. Even though my mother is naturally a good singer, she isn't educated on the subject of composing. So, my dad is the professional musician here, which means he might give me the cold, hard truth.

Other Person's Response: Then your mother must be like one of those families who think their sons, or daughters, should be the next American Idol. The families think their singing is great. But, they have no clue what they're talking about.

My Reply: This could be the case with my mother. She thinks my tunes are great, and they might be rubbish.

Other Person's Response: Your mother thinking your tunes are great is a good example of how human beings are irrational. People project meaning and greatness upon things that are just plain rubbish and meaningless.

My Reply: Yes. But, I think the tunes in my mind are great, and I have yet to accurately reproduce them, and make them fully crafted tunes.

Other Person's Response: If your mother likes one of your tunes, how would you know for sure if it's an awesome tune, and not just one she thinks is great, when it's not?

My Reply: First of all, I'd share my music online, and get feedback from others because I don't know for sure if some of my tunes really are great. Second, if I have one of my tunes play for my mother to listen to, but she doesn't respond to it while she's going about her daily activities, then it's probably not a good tune. If she stops and says something like: "Hey, I really like that tune!," then that's not a trustworthy judgment. But, if she says something like:

"WOW, THAT IS AN AWESOME, INCREDIBLE TUNE!!!," then maybe I do have a good tune here, since it would be a tune that really stands out to her, unlike my others tunes. However, I still wouldn't trust her judgment. I'd still share that tune to others online, and get their feedback. So far, I haven't had one tune where my mother gives the big, exclamatory response. If she did give such a response, then that would be like saying: "Jackpot! You could really have a good tune here!"

Other Person's Response: If you create music in your mind that you think is awesome, but is really senseless rubbish, you accurately transcribe the music in your mind, and people say it's great and meaningful, then these people must be attributing meaning and greatness to something that, in reality, is meaningless rubbish.

My Reply: Correct. Human beings are irrational, and they do attribute certain meaning to things that are actually meaningless. Even my mother said my melodies were great, and expressed certain scenes, when, in reality, they could just be rubbish tunes. If, for example, someone has no knowledge and experience in physics, then he could come up with an idea that pertains to physics.

But, due to his lack of expertise, his idea would be nonsense that he, along with other ignorant folks, thinks is a wonderful idea that makes perfect sense. Likewise, it's possible that the melodies I'm creating in my mind are just senseless rubbish that I, along with other ignorant folks, think are wonderful melodies that make perfect sense, and have yet to be realized as such by other people who think they're senseless rubbish.

Other Person's Response: I heard your mother is a good singer. But, does she also sing her own tunes?

My Reply: Yes. There's one tune she sung for me, which was a tune she made when she was in school. To me, it sounded good, memorable, and catchy. It sounded like one of those nursery rhymes for children. Even though she thought her tune was awful, I thought it was good. Now, my mother also sings other tunes she makes on seldom occasions. I think they are good, too. Maybe she also thinks they're good.

Other Person's Response: You keep using the term "catchy" to describe music. What do you mean by that?

My Reply: Music that's catchy is also called "earworms." That means they're tunes or songs that stick in your mind, and repeat over and over again. Like I said, I think I'm creating catchy tunes in my mind. I even hear professional, beautiful singers singing some of my created tunes in my head because I sometimes use beautiful singers to come up with melodies in my head.

Other Person's Response: You're the less capable individual, and your mother has to take care of you. But, since your mother is more capable, maybe she has the musical talent, is singing some good tunes, while you have no musical talent whatsoever. Or, maybe, you just like her tunes, she likes yours, but neither your tunes, nor hers, are anything good.

My Reply: It could be the case she is making awful tunes that I just think are great. Maybe she should get some feedback from others. That way, we'll know for sure if she's making some good tunes or not. If they are good tunes, then she should also get feedback as to whether her tunes express what she wanted to express. In my opinion, I thought that one tune she made in school was good, and was like a nursery rhyme. But, perhaps it's neither good, nor expresses anything of the sort.

Other Person's Response: You're good at doing certain things though. You're a good writer, since you have good punctuation, spelling, and grammar. You're also good at playing video games.

My Reply: But, these are average, basic things I'm good at. Having good spelling, punctuation, and grammar is an easy, basic skill to have. Being good at adventuring through levels as Super Mario is also a basic skill. Ask any child, or teenager, if he or she's good at playing Super Mario games, and I bet many of them will say "yes." But, when it comes to making music, or doing any other form of art, that's an advanced skill that's much more difficult to obtain. So, if I really am making awful music, then it would be very difficult for me to create good music that expresses what I want to express.

Other Person's Response: Learning good spelling, punctuation, and grammar was not some basic, easy skill you've acquired. You had to acquire this skill through schooling. You must also school yourself on composing if you wish to create some good music that makes sense to others.

My Reply: I think I'm naturally capable of creating great music in my head, and I just need some schooling to successfully convey the awesome music I hear in my head.

Other Person's Response: You don't have to go to a class to get education. You can just learn online.

My Reply: That's what I'm doing. I'm learning music theory online.

Other Person's Response: I wonder how poor people become good composers. They can't afford lessons, books, or the internet.

My Reply: I do find myself wondering how they manage to create good music in the real, physical world.

Other Person's Response: Instrument choice is also very important when making music.

My Reply: Sure. But, if someone grew up with a certain instrument, and played beautiful songs on that instrument, those songs would still be beautiful. My point is, just because you have a different instrument choice doesn't mean the power, beauty, and greatness of any melody, theme, or song you play should be taken away. The power, greatness, and meaning of music should still stand, regardless of what instrument choice you have.

Having the right instruments simply brings out the intended emotion even more. But, said music can still convey its intended emotion, and greatness, even without the proper instrument choice. This is because the series of notes, chords, rests, etc. chosen for a piece can still convey their power and meaning, even when the proper instruments aren't chosen.

Other Person's Response: Your tunes still suck, even with the recent revisions you'd made to them.

My Reply: When I created my tunes, I thought the chords and other things I've added to go along with them was good enough. I mean, even though these are basic chords I've added to my Super Sonic tune, aren't they the right chords? Apparently, my tunes still suck, and I want to know what's missing, and what technical flaws need to be addressed.

Other Person's Response: If our brains do have this natural ability of creating great works of art in our minds, then we'd be naturally following the rules of music theory without even realizing it when we naturally create great music in our minds.

My Reply: Yes. These are the rules we need to actually follow. Fortunately, our brains are machines that naturally work according to rules. They work according to the laws of science. The science of music would also be one of these rules our brains naturally follow. That's why our brains naturally follow the rules of music theory.

Since we can naturally choose a series of acts, tones, and gestures that conveys love, joy, hate, sorrow, and greatness, then we should also be able to naturally choose a series of notes and rests in our heads (i.e. create a melody or theme) that conveys love, power, joy, beauty, sorrow, and greatness. When we naturally display expressions that convey beauty and greatness to others, our brains are naturally working according to certain rules.

Therefore, our brains should also have the ability to naturally follow the rules of music theory to create great music in our minds. In other words, since expressing power and greatness through acts, tones, and gestures is a natural ability, then expressing power and greatness through creating music in your own head should also be a natural ability.

Other Person's Response: We can go outside of these rules if we wanted to because we could create a completely random series of notes and rests in our minds, and we could perform random acts, tones, and gestures.

My Reply: Sure. We could do that. Or, our brains can revert back to creating music in our minds that isn't random, and allowing us to perform acts, tones, and gestures that aren't random. So, your brain can create whatever it wants. It can create random, lame, or awful music in your mind. It can also make you perform acts, tones, and gestures that are just plain awful, or meaningless to others.

But, when you display expressions of kindness and love, these would be expressions that convey power and greatness. Thus, your brain would be allowing you to perform some awesome expressions. The same idea applies to music. Your brain can also naturally create some awesome music in your head.

Other Person's Response: None of what you're saying is true. I'm an experienced composer, and I can tell, just from looking at your melodies, that they're no good.

My Reply: Will there be other professional composers and musicians debating you on that? Perhaps they'd say I might have a great melody that I just have to convey to the audience.

Other Person's Response: When you create music, make sure you have a complete and thorough understanding of composing. Don't rely on a little bit of knowledge because that won't get you very far. Go all the way!

My Reply: I used a little bit of knowledge to create, what I thought were, the right chords to my Super Sonic tune. I've also learned how to create melodies that fit a rhythm. Apparently, my tunes still aren't good for other listeners. So, maybe you're right. Maybe I need to learn everything about composing. Only then will I be able to convey the power and greatness of my melodies.

Other Person's Response: Composing good music takes thought, time, effort, training, and talent. Expressing your emotions through music is not quick and easy, like expressing your feelings to someone. I'm not sure if you have what it takes to create good music.

My Reply: I'll admit, it would be lovely if it was quick and easy to create the awesome music I want to create. I'm very slow when it comes to understanding things, and my brain doesn't process information very quickly. So, if creating good music was quick and easy, I wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of thinking about anything, or trying to understand things.

I could just unleash my emotions through music instantly. If I felt angry, I wouldn't want to sit there and think about anything, or try to learn anything. I'd want to unleash that anger right then and there. Maybe I'd do it by beating up a punching bag. But, there are emotions I wish to express that I can't express to others. These are emotions that possess profound meaning and power.

Such emotions can only be expressed through art, and I've chosen the art of composing to express them. For example, one of these emotions would be the emotion I described for my Distant Future tune. I can't express that emotion through my words, acts, tones, and gestures. Even if I explained the emotion of my tune, that still wouldn't be enough to convey that emotion.

Sure, I could display some acts, tones, or gestures that convey a bit of mystery, and I could choose a way to explain the emotion of my tune that also conveys a bit of mystery, or bizarre atmosphere. But, that just isn't enough to express this profound emotion I'm feeling. That's why I must learn the things necessary to fully craft this tune, so that it conveys this profound emotion I want to convey.

Other Person's Response: You say you can instantly express whatever profound emotion you're feeling by creating a musical tune or theme in your head. From there, you're saying you must fully craft these tunes or themes, so that they convey the emotion you wanted to convey.

My Reply: Yes. As I said before, certain emotions I feel are profound, and they can only be expressed by creating a certain musical tune or theme in my head. But, just sharing the notes and rests to my tunes, or themes, isn't enough. That's why I must fully craft my tunes and themes. Learning how to fully craft them takes time, thought, and education.

Other Person's Response: If there's any profound and powerful emotion you're feeling that you can't express, then I think it's best to just keep that emotion to yourself. The reason I say this is because you have no talent. You have no way to express these emotions. By the way, if you were talented, you'd be able to express these emotions through poetry, painting, or any other art form.

Just explaining to the audience a certain emotion (such as being in a distant galaxy or time period) isn't enough, like you said. This is because there are certain emotions that can't be expressed by basic, shallow explanations, acts, tones, or gestures. If, for example, you were a talented poet, you could describe things in very profound, poetic ways.

I think said talent would be sufficient to convey that profound, bizarre emotion you want to convey. As you can see, it does take talent to convey profound and powerful emotions, and you can't expect to convey these emotions as an average human being with no talent (i.e. through basic tones, gestures, actions, words, and explanations).

My Reply: It sucks not being able to express these emotions. These emotions are inner greatness, and people would never realize my inner greatness if I can't express it. For example, some people might come up to me, and judge me as an ugly, pitiful, shallow excuse of a human being. But, if I had some amazing talent, and could express profound and powerful emotions I'm feeling, they'd see just how awesome and profound of an individual I really am.

Other Person's Response: At least there are certain profound and powerful emotions you can express. For example, you could show how much you love your family, or how much gratitude you feel when getting a present.

My Reply: I could express things like love and gratitude. But, said expressions just wouldn't be enough. For example, let's pretend I was feeling a profoundly beautiful feminine love, and said love had some sort of aquatic beauty to it. My masculine acts, tones, and gestures wouldn't be enough to convey that emotion. I could act like a female in a magical, aquatic, atmosphere. But, since I have no talent, I'd suck at conveying this emotion. As you can see, our inner experience is very profound and powerful, and I don't think the acts, tones, gestures, and explanations of untalented folks are enough to express their inner experience.

I think it really does require talent to successfully express that. Not having talent can only render you not fully expressing yourself to others. It would be lovely if people, with no talent, could telepathically share their inner experience to others. That way, others would know exactly what they were experiencing, and what emotions they were feeling. People would see into the inner universe of these individuals, and realize the true power that's there, rather than judging based upon the acts, tones, explanations, and gestures of these untalented individuals.

Other Person's Response: You said you feel feminine forms of beauty, joy, and love. Are you gay?

My Reply: No. Emotions take on many different forms. They take on many different characters, atmospheres, etc. So, even a girl, who's not lesbian, would feel emotions that have a masculine quality to them. For example, a girl could experience the masculine greatness of a bodybuilder. That would be an emotion the girl is feeling. The girl could even feel like she's a male bodybuilder, and that would be the character she becomes on the inside. Since she feels that way about herself, that's the same thing as saying she sees herself as a great, male bodybuilder.

Other Person's Response: Even if you have profound and powerful emotions within yourself that you can't express to your audience, since you have no talent, that's alright. Those emotions, in of themselves, are a work of art within yourself. So, that's something worth embracing.

My Reply: My goal is to create awesome compositions that express the emotions I wish to express to my audience, and I hope I can achieve this goal someday.

Other Person's Response: How can a powerful and profound emotion be a work of art within an individual?

My Reply: It's because, when you have a certain image in your mind, such as a beautiful, moving moment, that image is a work of art. Once that beautiful, moving image takes on an emotional form, that allows you to experience the beauty of that image, and allows you to be moved. Thus, that emotion is also a work of art.

Other Person's Response: You said you were mentally disabled, and that your brain has a difficult time learning and understanding things. I think having a disability is both a challenge, and an advantage, because it offers a means of character growth and perseverance. For example, Beethoven having deafness, and Stephen Hawking being in a wheelchair, challenged them more, and that's what built their character even more.

My Reply: Personally, I'd prefer to not have any disabilities because I just want to express myself through music to others, and not have to go through all the hassle of trying to learn and understand things. I don't care about building my character through tough challenges. Besides, I can grow as a person through creating great music for others to listen to. I don't have to grow by facing challenges.

That's why I'd prefer to have a genius brain that could understand, remember, and learn things very quickly. So, if I was Beethoven or Stephen Hawking, I'd prefer to not be deaf, or be in a wheelchair. What matters to me is that I achieve my goals. Having a disability just hinders that, since it takes longer to achieve goals, and not as much would be achieved. Imagine how much more Stephen Hawking and Beethoven would've achieved without their disabilities.

Other Person's Response: How is creating great music, without facing any hardships, a form of growing?

My Reply: It's because I'd become more of a person by creating more awesome music to share to the world. The more awesome music I create, the greater musical status I possess as a human being. Likewise, the more amazing discoveries Stephen Hawking would make without his disability, the higher status he has as a human being in science. Sure, his disability has already earned him a high status, since it has inspired others to do their best in the face of disabilities, or hardships. But, I'd prefer to have no disabilities or hardships. If I was Hawking, I'd prefer more amazing discoveries over inspiring others through having a disability.

Other Person's Response: It seems you're sitting here, complaining how your disability makes things difficult for you.

My Reply: I'm not doing that at all. I'm simply expressing my own preference of having no disability, and achieving as much goals as I can the quickest way possible. I'm doing this because I wish to express and share my personal views regarding music, hardships, disabilities, what makes life beautiful and worth living, etc.

Other Person's Response: You said you had speech problems when you was a child.

My Reply: Yes. My brain might've taken a lot longer to naturally learn the English language than normal people. Maybe that's why it took longer for me to start speaking the English language.

Other Person's Response: Just because you're deeply inspired doesn't mean you're going to have a talent. There are many deeply inspired people who suck.

My Reply: If I have no talent, then I hope I can develop a talent when it comes to creating music that expresses what I want to express.

Other Person's Response: I think you're lying when you say you're naturally creating great music in your head.

My Reply: If I am lying, then I don't realize it. Personally, I don't think I'm lying.

Other Person's Response: Since you're mentally disabled ,and a special needs person, then maybe you don't have any talent either. You say you have this natural, musical talent of creating great music in your mind. Perhaps you think you have this talent when you really don't.

My Reply: I hope I have it.

Other Person's Response: Is there anything else that slows you down besides having a mental disability?

My Reply: Yes. When I'm emotionally fixated on something, and trying to figure something out, that slows me down because, when your emotions are active, you can't think clearly, and that slows down certain intellectual processes. I find that, when my mind is relaxed, I understand things better and faster. However, I'm still mentally slow, due to my disability.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you could get a shot that would bestow you with all the knowledge and experience you need to create the awesome music you want to create. Would you get that shot? But, I thought you enjoyed the whole process of learning because you said earlier you'd enjoy the process if you had your positive emotions.

My Reply: I'd get that shot anyway because it's just a waste of time for me to sit there and try to understand things I have a difficult time processing and understanding. It would be best if I could achieve my goal of creating awesome music the quickest way possible, and that's why I'd get that shot. Since I can't get that shot, I'm willing to do my best to learn harmony and music theory. I'm also willing to improve myself as an artist when I need improvement.

Other Person's Response: Even if you did have all the knowledge and experience you need to create music, why would you think your music would be good? There are musical artists who have much knowledge and experience, but compose stale, lame music.

My Reply: As I said before, I have very awesome, amazing, powerful, and profound emotions to express. So, expressing said emotions through music would result in me creating awesome music. Think of it this way. If I had the ability to magically transform any powerful emotion I felt into a fully crafted theme, melody, or song, then it would turn out to be something incredible. I could also say the same thing about someone else. If another person felt a powerful and profound emotion, such as love towards his family, then if he had the magical ability to transform that love into music, his music would be incredible.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend there was a cd that contained all possible songs, themes, and melodies. That means all compositions you have yet to create would already be on that cd. Not only that, but the greatest music that has yet to be heard would also be on that cd. If all that information on the cd was downloaded into your brain, then you'd know all the tracks on the cd. This would mean you could choose any track you love, and want to share. You wouldn't have to compose any music, since you could just choose any track you want to share. This would achieve your goal of sharing awesome music the quickest way possible. In the future, this might be a possibility. That means there'd be no need for composers, since people can just choose whatever tracks they want to share.

My Reply: Actually, since I wouldn't be the one who created whatever track I've chosen, given there was a machine that produced all possible songs, themes, and melodies, which were then burned on that cd, then that wouldn't be as special as opposed to if I was the one who created them. Sure, I could choose whatever track I want from that cd, and share it to express myself, just as how I could choose a T-shirt that expresses myself.

But, when I said I wanted to achieve my goal the fastest way possible, I meant I wanted to be the creator of my music. In other words, I'd want to create good music the quickest way possible. It would be boring if I could just choose any tune, theme, or song I wanted. If I create good music, that makes me the artist with a talent, and unique vision to share to the world. But, if I could just choose whatever music I wanted to share, then I'd no longer be that artist. I'd now be the equivalent of someone choosing a T-shirt he wants.

Other Person’s Response: There’s a youtube video where someone has created all possible melodies, and put them all on a hard drive. Here’s the video:

https://youtu.be/sfXn_ecH5Rw

My Reply: Thanks for sharing. If all the melodies on that hard drive were downloaded into my brain somehow, then I’d know which melodies on that hard drive convey the scenes, characters, etc. I want to convey, and I could share those melodies to others.

Other Person's Response: Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a god, and he magically created all possible melodies and songs? They'd have all the right instruments, right chords, etc. You could ask him to give you an awesome melody, or song, that expresses whatever you wish to express to your audience. From there, you could share that melody, or song, to the audience.

My Reply: Actually, it would be wonderful. But, since that's not an option, then I'd have to create these melodies and songs myself. That actually makes it more interesting, since that makes me the creator/artist.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend all possible melodies and songs existed, and I could choose any possible melody or song I wanted to share to the world that expresses the emotion and scenes I wish to express. I'd still choose to compose my own melodies and songs because composition is enjoyable for me.

My Reply: I'd actually give up composing in that situation because there'd no longer be any need for me to compose music, when all the music I'd compose would already exist, and I can just choose to share that music.

Other Person's Response: If you could have the ability to magically and instantly transform your powerful emotions into awesome music to share to the world, would you choose to have that ability?

My Reply: Yes, because I'd still be the creator of my music in this situation.

Other Person's Response: So, if you had the ability to magically and instantly create music that expresses any awesome emotion you're feeling, you'd choose to have that ability?

My Reply: Yes. Since I don't have the talent to create awesome music that expresses my inner feelings, then I'd choose to have that magical ability.

Other Person's Response: When a melody, theme, or song doesn't exist yet, and you're the one who created it, then that makes you the creator of said melody, theme, or song. But, when it already exists (such as, let's pretend, on a cd that contains all possible melodies, themes, and songs), then you wouldn't be the creator of it, and you'd just be choosing it from that cd.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: You say you're slow at learning and understanding things. Are you also slow at taking tests, and doing exercises?

My Reply: Yes. Now, I did figure out why I failed those music theory exams, and it's because there were some complicated things that I didn't get right. But, when I took music theory exams on a certain website, I passed those exams.

Other Person's Response: How many of these music theory exams are you passing now?

My Reply: The 1st few. But, these exams cover simple, basic concepts. In later grades of music theory, things get a bit more in-depth and difficult. I have a very difficult time understanding more complex concepts. Thus, I might actually fail exams that cover these concepts. Fortunately, there are other things I do understand in these later grades because they're simple concepts. So, I tend to skip past the things I don't understand.

I try to understand them. But, if I absolutely can't, then I just skip past it. As you can see, my main weakness is understanding things. I can only understand simple, basic things. When something is simple and straightforward, it's easy for me to understand. But, when it gets more complicated, and there are many things to take into consideration, that's when I run into trouble. I get easily confused and lost.

Other Person's Response: What if a certain concept being presented is very long?

My Reply: It can be long, but still be easy to understand. It all depends on what it is. If it's long, but simple, then it's easy to understand. But, if it's long and more complicated, it's difficult to understand. Likewise, if something is very short, it can be easy or difficult to understand. Also, I misinterpret a lot of things, and my mind has a difficult time making sense of many things. But, like I said, there are many things that are easy for me to understand, and I understand them right off the bat.

Other Person's Response: Do you also have a difficult time remembering things?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: During your miserable struggles, is your mental capacity greatly hindered?

My Reply: Yes. My thinking is very muddled, and I have an even more difficult time making sense of things, and remembering things.

Other Person's Response: When you create music, do you take ideas from other artists? Do you derive from the works of others? You do realize great artists derived from the works of others, right?

My Reply: I don't derive from others at all. But, if my music appears like it has derived from the works of others, for whatever reason, then that wasn't my intention. In other words, I didn't intentionally derive from others. But, since my music is purely my own, then I don't think it should appear derivative. As a matter of fact, it should be quite unique, awesome, and interesting. The type of person I am is someone unique and original. I wish to create my own ideas or music, and not take from others.

Other Person's Response: It takes years of education and training to create great music.

My Reply: I don't think so. There are students who take music lessons at school, and they end up creating some good tunes. I think I just need to educate myself, so I can create the awesome music I want to create.

Other Person's Response: Just how talented do you think you are?

My Reply: I think I'm naturally talented, and am creating great music in my head. Some of my naturally inspired tunes are like great, catchy nursery rhymes (such as my Wedding Tune), while others convey completely different emotion. An example would be my Distant Future tune, and my Dark Tune.

Other Person's Response: Are you a delusional schizophrenic? You sound like one when you say your rubbish melodies are great.

My Reply: I don't have schizophrenia. Therefore, if my melodies really are rubbish, and I don't realize it, then I'd simply be ignorant of this. There's a big difference between ignorance and having a mental disorder.

Other Person's Response: The very fact you claim these melodies in your mind are powerful and awesome is plain arrogance! Especially when you said that one of your tunes could be as great as Koji Kondo's!

My Reply: You should be thankful I'm not saying it's a fact that these tunes are as great as I say they are. I'm very well open-minded towards the possibility these tunes in my head were garbage all along. So, you should, at least, appreciate that I'm being open-minded here, rather than harping on me. Besides, I'm an open-minded person in general.

I keep an open mind to many things, whether it be the afterlife, the soul, god, vaccines being harmful, conspiracy theories, and any fully crafted music I share later on being great or awful. Another thing. I'm not claiming I'm the only one who can naturally create great music in his head. I'm claiming other people have this natural ability, too.

Other Person's Response: What if you're just creating music you think is great and meaningful, when it's really rubbish?

My Reply: Then I'd beat myself up over this. Not literally though. So many other people have this natural ability to create great music in their minds, and I'd be one of the few people who doesn't have it. I just thought I had it. Hopefully, there'd be a way for me to create great music in my mind, so that I can fully craft it, and share it to others.

Other Person's Response: Well, let me ease your mind by saying that no human being can naturally create great music in his head. He must have musical training and education, so he knows how to do that. To beat yourself up over some natural ability that doesn't exist would be no different than beating yourself up over the fact you don't have the powers of Superman. No human being has such powers and, thus, there's no reason to beat yourself up over this.

My Reply: That would ease my mind if that's the case. I'd just have to learn how to create great music like everyone else then, and I wasn't this loser who should beat himself up. But, there are reasons why I think this natural ability could very well exist.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 9/12)

Other Person's Response: Could you just show me right now why you think people can naturally create great music in their heads?

My Reply: Sure. I think creating great music in our minds is a natural ability, no different than naturally expressing our love, joy, hate, and sorrow. Since music is an expression of our love, joy, etc., this means music is a natural expression, and that's why we can naturally create great music in our minds.

Other Person's Response: I don't believe you.

My Reply: If a therapist asked someone to envision a beautiful landscape he's never seen before (something of his own creation), then he'd have the ability to do that, even though he has no artistic training and education. This shows our brains are naturally capable of creating great works of art in our heads.

Other Person's Response: I'd like to hear more about this.

My Reply: Sure. Think of it this way. Let's pretend all human beings were telepathic, and we could telepathically communicate our thoughts and emotions to others. If I were to telepathically communicate a certain thought or emotion, such as a loving thought, or a loving emotion, other people would understand it, and they'd realize it's a powerful and profound message I'm sharing.

The same thing applies to music. Music is also like a thought or an emotion to be communicated. I should be able to telepathically communicate a great, powerful song or tune of my own to the audience, just as how I can telepathically communicate powerful thoughts and emotions. I think it's that simple.

I think I can create great music in my head, just as how I can create great thoughts and emotions within myself. A short tune would be like a short message/thought, while an entire song would be like a thought or emotion that tells an entire story. I mean, since I can naturally tell a story in my head, then why couldn't I naturally tell a story through music in my head, too?

My point is, creating great music in our minds was never about learning the technical aspects behind music. It was a natural expression all along. However, since I'm obviously not telepathic, and can't telepathically share the great music in my head to others, I have to do it the hard way, and learn how to fully craft my music so it becomes something great and meaningful to the audience.

Other Person's Response: I see. If a person can naturally tell a powerful story in his head (such as how he lost his loved one, or his life as a veteran), then why couldn't he also tell that same story musically in his head? Why couldn't he naturally create a great, powerful melody, or song, that expresses this in his head?

My Reply: Exactly.

Other Person's Response: You should also keep an open mind towards the possibility that this natural musical ability you claim exists doesn't exist.

My Reply: I'm open-minded towards that possibility as well.

Other Person's Response: If this natural ability to create great works of art in our minds really does exist, wouldn't it take more time and effort for someone to create visual artwork in his mind that expresses the story he wants to convey than simply explaining the story in his mind?

My Reply: Yes. It takes more mental effort and, thus, more time to come up with great and powerful artwork in our minds, whether it be music or visual art, than simply having a thought, or explaining a simple, short, story in our minds. However, for some, mentally coming up with great works of art doesn't take much effort at all, and they can do it very quickly. But, for those less fortunate who can't do that, there are methods that allow us to do that.

An example would be dreams, drug trips, or near death experiences, since it takes no effort in order for whole new beautiful and amazing works of art to be mentally created. You just automatically witness the artwork, since your brain automatically creates it. However, in our normal waking life, it takes effort to come up with artwork in our minds. But, like I said, for some, it doesn't take that much effort in their normal, waking life.

Other Person's Response: You can't expect to come up with a good, catchy melody in your head that conveys deep emotion when you don't know how music works. It's like expecting to come up with the cure for cancer when you don't know how stuff works. Sure, you could fabricate what you think is the cure for cancer in your mind. But, I dare you to share your "idea" to scientists, and I bet they'd tell you it's nonsensical rubbish.

My Reply: If that's the case, then I'd love to learn how to create melodies and themes that convey what I want to convey.

Other Person's Response: Have you learned some music theory, at least?

My Reply: I've been learning music theory lessons on youtube, and I've watched some videos so far. However, these music lessons cover technical aspects regarding music, such as scales, chords, key signatures, the circle of 5ths, etc. But, these lessons do not tell you how to create music that conveys the meaning and scenes you want to convey. Sure, they might explain to you that, if you want to create a melody or song that conveys a happy feeling, to put it in a major scale.

But, how would you create a happy tune that expresses someone having fun on a sunny day, as opposed to a happy tune that expresses someone coming along, and showing kindness? You see, there's more to creating music than just having the happiness and sorrow (i.e. the major and minor scales). You must choose the proper notes and rests for your melodies as well. For example, the Super Mario theme song is in the key of C major, since it's a cheerful theme.

But, how did the creator of the theme (Koji Kondo) know what notes and rests to choose for the theme, so that it conveys what he wanted it to convey? I admit, it's a catchy theme, and it's his choice of notes and rests that made it so great and catchy. I know I said earlier that we can naturally create such great, catchy tunes and themes in our heads. But, just in case the tunes in my head really are rubbish, then I need to know how to choose a series of notes and rests to convey what I want to convey, and to make my melodies great.

Other Person's Response: Here's my personal view. You don't learn how to choose a series of notes and rests that convey whatever it is you want to convey. You just learn the technical aspects behind music because that's all music theory can teach you is the techniques. From there, you utilize those techniques to create whatever melody, or theme, you want to create.

So, creating great music all boils down to your mindset, and if you have talent or not. Lame people will end up creating lame music, even though they utilize the techniques they've learned. Think of the lame music you hear on the radio. But, you're saying you're more than some lame, average joe, and that the music you're creating in your head is great?

My Reply: Which means you're basically saying what I've been saying all along, which is that creating great music in our minds is a natural ability, and isn't something we learn how to do through education? As for your question, I do think I'm creating great music in my head. But, in the event that I'm not, then that's why I'm asking how to do that. One might say to just live and be myself. But, how's that any advice? How's that supposed to help me create the music that conveys what I want to convey?

Other Person's Response: I don't understand why you're asking that question in the first place. The answer is quite simple. If you want to create, for example, a painting that conveys something mystical, after having learned the techniques of how to paint, then you'd just paint some fairies, rainbows, glitter, etc.

My Reply: It's a completely different scenario than that. Yes, if I learned the techniques of how to paint, then it would be quite obvious to me what I'm supposed to paint in order to convey the meaning and emotion I want to convey. But, when it comes to making music, I'd have no idea what series of notes and rests I'm supposed to choose to convey what I want to convey. It wouldn't be obvious to me.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think you're one of those lame, untalented people. You're not creating any good melodies. As a matter of fact, you're worse than that because your melodies are meaningless rubbish, while lame music conveys some meaningful message.

My Reply: If I can never create good music that expresses what I wish to express, then I'd like to know the scientific explanation as to why I'm without the ability to create such music, while so many other people have it. Why can others create good music that conveys the meaning and scenes they wish to convey, while I can't? Perhaps knowing the science behind this will help me develop this ability.

I have some very profound and powerful emotions within myself I wish to express through music, and there'd be this big barrier preventing me from doing that. Such a barrier needs to be removed somehow. I'd need to know exactly what I need to do, what I need to experience, and what knowledge I need to gain to remove said barrier.

Other Person's Response: To be honest, I think you should just give up composing. You don't have what it takes to create the good, catchy tunes you want to create. In addition, you should also give up on any greater values because you don't have what it takes here either. So, you should stick with whatever previous hobby you were good at, and you should stick with your basic, emotional based values.

My Reply: Here's what I'm going to do. If I accurately transcribe these melodies in my head, fully craft them, and people tell me they do convey what I describe, and that they're great, then that would be awesome. That says I really had a talent all along people didn't realize. But, if I realize they were rubbish all along, then I'll do whatever I need to do to create the good music I want to create.

If nothing works, then I'm officially done with composing, and I'll go back to my previous hobby (which was playing video games). I've always been good at playing video games. As for my value system, if I ever lose my positive emotions, and can't sufficiently or fully regain them, then I'll do my best to change my value system. I can't promise anything though.

Other Person's Response: The value system you live by is shit, and your music is shit! Some life! Some talent!

My Reply: That's just your opinion. I have my own personal views, and I often times find myself disagreeing with a lot of people.

Other Person's Response: I have no answer for what notes and rests you're supposed to choose to convey what you want to convey. That's something that can't be taught. It's just called being an artist. If you really don't know how to do that, and you just think you know, then I think you lack life experience. When you go out into the world and experience more, then you'll know how to create music that truly moves, inspires, and motivates people. You'll know how to create the music you want to create.

My Reply: This doesn't really make sense to me. What exactly is it I'm supposed to be learning, or experiencing, besides going on youtube, and learning music lessons? Furthermore, how would this help me know the notes and rests I'm supposed to choose to convey the power and meaning I want to convey?

I'm just not seeing the connection here. If you're implying that I need to learn more things about music in the real world that I can't learn on youtube, or from other online sources, then it would make sense to me. But, if all you're telling me is that I need to go out into the world more, and experience more, then that makes no sense to me.

Other Person's Response: What do you mean when you say other people can't understand your recent melodies? I understood the series of notes of your tunes just fine.

My Reply: When I say other people can't understand these melodies, I don't mean they can't understand the series of notes I'm playing. I mean they can't understand the power and meaning these melodies of mine convey. For example, if I just had a powerful melody from any given song, then people wouldn't be able to realize the power and meaning the melody conveys without the things necessary to successfully convey the melody’s power and meaning.

All they'd understand would be the series of notes being played. My point is, I think the actual melodies themselves are there. But, I just need more things to go along with these melodies (the proper chords, beat, and more) to convey their power and meaning. I'm not exactly sure at what point a melody's power, greatness, catchiness, and meaning will be successfully conveyed to the audience during the crafting process. All I know is that I need to fully craft my melodies.

Other Person's Response: So, you're saying that, since your melodies aren't fully crafted, people will hear them as meaningless?

My Reply: Correct. A meaningless melody would be like listening to a child pluck out keys on the keyboard, or a certain instrument. It would just sound like a series of notes being played, and nothing more. It would be rubbish for others listening to it.

Other Person's Response: Why aren't your melodies fully crafted then?

My Reply: I mainly hear the melodies themselves in my head, and I just wanted to share that. But, I'll learn the things needed to fully craft them. I'll learn about chords, harmony, etc.

Other Person's Response: I know the lyrics you've added to your Wedding Tune convey meaning.

My Reply: Even though they're not the best lyrics in the world, they do convey meaning. But, I'm talking about the melodies themselves because they won't convey any power, greatness, and meaning in their current state.

Other Person's Response: What if people do get some sort of meaning from your melodies as they are now?

My Reply: I don't think it would be the meaning I intended to convey. If an artist creates a melody that's not fully crafted, and just leaves it out there for the audience to listen to, then that makes the melody open to a wide variety of interpretations.

For example, one person might envision the melody differently than another person. That's why the artist must fully craft the melody to convey his/her own personal vision. That way, the audience will know exactly what the artist was trying to convey all along.

Other Person's Response: It would be like if someone has written a sentence that's unclear to the audience. One person who reads the sentence might get a different message from it than someone else who reads it. But, if the writer makes the sentence absolutely clear to everyone, then everyone will know the real message the writer intended to convey.

My Reply: Yes. I must find a way to make my melodies absolutely clear to everyone who listens to them. That is, I must find a way to bring out their real power.

Other Person's Response: What if you described one of your melodies a certain way, and someone who listened to it got that same power/meaning from it, even though it's not a fully crafted melody?

My Reply: It still wouldn't be the exact power/meaning I intended to convey because, like I said, as long as my melodies aren't fully crafted, then that still leaves them open to a wide variety of interpretations. Also, if someone said one of my melodies is alright or mediocre, even though I claimed it was an awesome melody, that's because I haven't conveyed the power and greatness of said melody to that listener.

Other Person's Response: When you talk about conveying the power and greatness of your melodies, you're talking about the ones in your mind, perfectly transcribed, right? Because you said earlier that you might not be accurately transcribing what you hear in your head right now. So, you're not talking about the melodies you've presented in this packet, since they're poorly transcribed?

My Reply: That's correct. But, who knows, maybe I did perfectly transcribe some of the melodies I hear in my head.

Other Person's Response: Why do you think your melodies would convey power and meaning once they're fully crafted?

My Reply: I'll give you an example. The Super Mario theme song is written in the key of C Major. If Koji Kondo (the creator of the theme) has chosen random white keys for the theme, then it would be a theme that conveys no power and no meaning. It would just be white keys all over the place. The same thing applies if he has chosen random notes and rests for all his other pieces.

These pieces would no longer be that awesome Zelda theme many fans love, that awesome Metroid theme, etc. Even if these randomly chosen notes and rests adhered to the rules of music theory, they wouldn't be awesome, meaningful, catchy themes. My point is, I think I'm choosing a series of notes and rests that make my melodies great. I think my Distant Future tune is the best one, and it has a lot of power to it. People don't realize this yet, since it's not a fully crafted melody.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I still think your melodies would be meaningless rubbish, even when they're fully crafted.

My Reply: There's this one guy who created a song based off of one of my melodies. It was my Dramatic Tune. I'll first present the song, and then the links to that Dramatic Tune:

https://www.bandlab.com/msmcleod/mymusi ... 155d60cb1b

Youtube Link:

https://youtu.be/Y5tW_I2hWdE

Soundcloud Link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/dramaticforce

As you can see, in that song he made, my melody did become something meaningful. It conveyed something, and wasn't just meaningless rubbish. But, he created the melody in his own vision. That means it doesn't have the dramatic power, nor the power/greatness I intended. Still, the very fact the melody conveys something must mean my melodies aren't meaningless rubbish. The guy told me that context is very important when making a melody.

He put my melody within the context of a song when he made his song. So, not only must I fully craft my melodies, but I must also put them within the context of a full theme or song. That way, they can convey power, greatness, and meaning to the audience. Sometimes, melodies, by themselves, do convey meaning and greatness to the audience. An example would be the McDonald's I'm Lovin' It tune. But, maybe my melodies need the context of a full theme or song.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you're only fooling yourself here. You're not making any good choice of notes and rests. I think your melodies are still rubbish. You're not artistic. You're autistic, and you're incapable of creating a good melody.

My Reply: Since I can choose a series of acts, gestures, and tones that convey power, greatness, and meaning to my family, and to other people, then I can obviously choose a series of notes and rests in my head that convey power, greatness, and meaning. Therefore, I think I'm clearly capable of naturally creating a good melody in my mind.

Other Person's Response: I realize some of your melodies are just the melodies themselves without any chords or anything else. If they really are great melodies, then they should sound great and meaningful on their own, even without the accompanying chords, beat, harmony, etc. So, if people say they're awful, then that already means they're awful.

My Reply: I'm not sure if great melodies can sound great and meaningful on their own. They might still sound like musical nonsense. Even if they did sound great on their own to people, these people might be having their own vision in regards to the melody. In other words, the great melody might really sound like meaningless rubbish on its own, and people are imagining a fully crafted version of it. It's this imagined, fully crafted version that does convey greatness, power, and meaning. So, when I say my accurately transcribed melodies are great and convey certain scenes, that would be my own vision that I have to convey to the audience. I'm imagining what my melodies would be like in their complete form, and that's what I have to convey to the audience.

Other Person's Response: Then why can't other people create their own vision in regards to your melodies, and see them as great?

My Reply: It's because some people don't have the ability to create their own vision. Thus, they'll hear my melodies for what they really are at this stage: musical nonsense.

Other Person's Response: When a person looks at a great melody that doesn't have any chords or anything else to it, it can still be recognized as a great melody. A person can look at the structure of it, and other technical details about it, and conclude if it's a great melody or not.

My Reply: Sure. But, if someone listens to the melody, and doesn't create his own vision when listening to it, then I think the melody should sound like meaningless rubbish. Also, a melody can appear simple, and not that great when someone looks at it on the music sheet, and analyzes it. But, said melody can still be great, powerful, and meaningful when it gets fully crafted. My point is, when you look at my accurately transcribed melodies, don't judge them as simplistic rubbish. You might find yourself quite surprised once I fully craft them by adding in all the necessary chords, harmony, etc. Only then should you hear something great.

Other Person's Response: You claim you're this mentally gifted artist who can create great music in his head. I think you're giving yourself a title, or status, you don't deserve. Here's where you truly rank. You rank as nothing more than a mere child coming up with rubbish melodies. You are overly confident, proud, and arrogant. But, you'll be humbled to the real truth.

My Reply: I'm not sure what will happen. If it turns out my music is great once it's fully crafted, then I was right, and had every reason to give myself this status. People should then take back their insults, name calling, and doubts they've had about me. But, if I was creating rubbish tunes in my head all along, then that's the truth, and I'll be fine with it. I'm actually prepared for such truth.

Other Person's Response: You say your accurately transcribed melodies will convey power, greatness, and meaning once they're fully crafted. I don't think they will. Human beings are meaningful creatures, and we attribute meaning to things that have no meaning. For example, what's the meaning of life? It has no meaning. People just give meaning to it.

My Reply: Well, to me, this meaning seems absolutely real and compelling. People can attribute meaning to things, and be right in their assessments, while, other times, they're wrong. I don't know if I'm right or wrong in my assessments. I just go by my own personal judgments. I judge my melodies based on what I personally think they convey.

Other Person's Response: You're sending yourself on a wild goose chase. You think there's power and meaning these melodies have that you need to convey to the audience, and there's none. You should give up composing right now, and pursue a different hobby.

My Reply: I don't agree with you, and I'm going through with this, regardless of what others say. After all, people who don't listen to the opinions of others were often times very successful artists, and inventors. People would have doubts, name call, and mistreat these artists and inventors. But, that didn't stop them.

Besides, I'm someone who doesn't listen to the opinions of others anyway. The only things I listen to are important information I need to know, or things I need to learn and study, such as music theory. I don't bother with the opinions of others who say I'm a shit person, I'm a sinner, my music will be shit, even when fully crafted, etc.

Other Person's Response: You take pride in things that are nothing to be proud of. Your music isn't anything to be proud of.

My Reply: I think it is, and people will realize this later on.

Other Person's Response: I heard you sometimes have a difficult time getting the notes right to these melodies you hear in your head. Why is that?

My Reply: First of all, it takes practice to reproduce the exact notes you hear in your head. But, I do think I got the exact notes and rests to some of my melodies. Second, when I'm very focused and determined to transcribe the right notes on a keyboard, that actually hinders my ability to see if I've chosen the right notes or not. This is because you need to have a relaxed mind to think clearly, and see things clearly.

Otherwise, your mind will be muddled up. So, let's pretend I was a remixer, trying to adjust the volumes of the tracks to the right level. I'd have to keep my mind relaxed to clearly hear what the right volume would be for these tracks. If I had that overly fixated mindset, I'd have the tracks near the right volume level. But, not exactly the right level.

The same idea applies when reproducing the notes to these melodies in my mind. I might mess up and get some notes that are slightly off. But, there's a trick that allows me to get the notes right when I'm in that fixated mindset. My mind is overly fixated on getting the notes right to the forward version of my melodies, which leaves my mind settled in regards to the reversed version.

So, that makes it much easier for me to see what notes are off in the reversed version. I reverse my melodies and listen to them. If I hear a note that's off, then I'll know which note was off in the forward version. When I do get all the notes right to my melodies, that makes a melody that fully conveys its intended meaning with no "off"-sounding notes that sort of distort said meaning. Again, only I can see the meaning my melodies have at this stage.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you can't see the rubbish your melodies really are, since your mind isn't relaxed.

My Reply: That's not true. Even when I'm relaxed, I still think my melodies are great, and convey what I describe. I have always seen them this way.

Other Person's Response: I notice your Distant Future melody is supposed to either be in the key of Bb minor, or Db major. But, you're not starting on the tonal key (Bb or Db), and ending on that key. You also naturalize the E note.

My Reply: I basically create melodies through inspiration alone, and I don't limit myself to factors, such as creating a melody that doesn't have too many leaps or steps (i.e. too many big or small melodic intervals), starting on the tonal key, and ending on that key, etc. I don't think those factors always have to be necessary because you can still create great music and melodies through inspiration alone.

Think of it this way. Imagine if I told someone to sing the phrase: "I went to the store today." If that person was inspired to sing it, he'd just sing it through pure emotion. He wouldn't even think about those factors I've mentioned. Even though the melody was sung through inspiration alone, it might be a great, catchy melody he has yet to fully craft, so that said greatness and catchiness becomes realized by the audience.

Other Person's Response: The problem with you is that you think you can create great music in your head through pure emotion alone without thinking about anything. Some thought is necessary when creating a good melody. You must think about the technical aspects to create a good melody in your mind.

My Reply: I don't think that's the case. I think pure emotion/inspiration alone can result in the creation of great music in our minds. I'd like to use an interesting analogy, and it would be a Dragon Ball Super analogy. If you've never watched the anime, that's fine. I just want to share it anyway. There's a character named Goku who uses Ultra Instinct.

It's an ability where he doesn't think at all, and his pure instinct allows him to be an amazing fighter. I think we as human beings have our own little ultra instinct, and we can become great artists in our own minds. We don't need to put any thought into creating amazing artwork in our minds. We just let the inspiration do all the work.

Other Person's Response: So, you think the only thought that's actually needed to create good melodies is when you're going through the whole crafting process of figuring out what chords you need, and things like this?

My Reply: Yes. Your brain can start you off with some awesome music. From there, you need to figure out the rest when fully crafting your mentally inspired music.

Other Person's Response: You say a person can sing a great melody naturally on his own, having no knowledge and experience in the art of music. I don't believe this.

My Reply: Ask any normal person who knows nothing about music theory to expressively sing or say the phrase: "You will be my best friend forever and ever!" I bet that person would say or sing it in such a way that it becomes a good, catchy melody. Of course, if this person was an awful singer, he wouldn't be singing the melody too well. But, if the melody the person was trying to convey were put into note form on a notation software, and then made into a fully crafted melody with all the chords, harmony, etc., I bet it would turn out to be a decent melody.

My point is, creating good, catchy melodies is a natural ability. But, to say or sing a meaningless, rubbish melody, you'd just say or sing any phrase in a random manner, where the words of that given phrase are still being said/sung, but the notes are all over the place, which makes it sound like an odd, meaningless melody. It would be like a person who displays gestures and expressions that convey meaning, as opposed to someone who displays odd, random, meaningless gestures and expressions.

The thing is, human beings are naturals at conveying meaning. So, of course their gestures and expressions are going to convey meaning, and of course the melodies these people come up with in their minds are going to convey meaning. However, some people might come up with lame melodies that aren't that great, while others do come up with awesome melodies.

Therefore, even though melodies, or songs, do convey meaning, that doesn't mean it's going to be a great melody or song. Think of lame music you hear on the radio. Sure, it conveys meaning. But, it's lame music. There might also be some people who mentally come up melodies that are meaningless rubbish, even when they become fully crafted melodies. These would be those random melodies I was talking about.

Other Person's Response: Your Distant Future isn't a full theme though. I think there needs to be much more added to it.

My Reply: Perhaps that's the case. Maybe, once it becomes a full theme, it will start off on the tonal key, and end on that key. The first part of the theme is supposed to express someone arriving at the distant time period or galaxy. So, the melody you hear that has a bit of rest, and then goes into the full theme, is supposed to be the beginning. It's supposed to have a sort of settled, bizarre feel to it. Once it gets to the main part, it has a bit more energy as it expresses the touring, or the observing, of this bizarre place.

Other Person's Response: I can tell your Distant Future tune has a pattern because it alternates between 2 staccato notes, and 2 normal notes, the 2nd part of the melody raises and lowers back down, and there's a half rest throughout the piece.

My Reply: What's interesting is that I've created these patterns in my mind without even thinking about it. The inspiration alone has done it for me. From there, I've just replicated the notes and rests I heard in my mind onto a music notation software. If my inspiration alone can create musical patterns, then why can't it also create great music? I figure that, if I can naturally create musical patterns in my mind without thinking about it, then I can naturally create great music in my mind without thinking about it.

Other Person's Response: How would you respond if you fully craft your melodies, and people still say they're awful rubbish?

My Reply: There are 2 possibilities. The 1st would be that my melodies obviously don't convey what I described at all. They really were nothing great, and I was fooling myself all along. But, the 2nd possibility would be that they are great, do convey what I describe, and people can't see that, due to their high standards. If, for example, I fully craft my Distant Future tune, then there might be power, greatness, and meaning staring these people right in front of their faces, and they can't even see it.

They lack appreciation, and that's what blinds them. They expect too much when it comes to artwork. There's a big difference between how complex an artwork is, and the power, meaning, and greatness conveyed by an artwork. Just because my fully crafted Distant Future melody isn't a more complicated melody, is predictable, and repeats, doesn't mean it's a rubbish melody that conveys no meaning.

I think people are having too high of a standard, and that blinds them to the power and greatness of artwork. Even simple art forms, such as the drawing of a beautiful rose, can convey power and meaning. It doesn't have to be a rose with complex detail for it to be something great. My point is, a work of art can qualify as something great, powerful, and meaningful, even when it's not the complex work of an artistic mastermind.

Other Person's Response: So, if you do fully craft your melodies, and people still say they're rubbish, you're just going to blame and insult the audience for not liking them? You're going to blame and insult others for your incapabilities?

My Reply: Well, the question to ask here is if such blame is justified. If it's justified, then my fully crafted melodies really are great, and other people can't appreciate them. If it's not justified, then I'm the one to blame, since I'm really not creating any good music.

Other Person's Response: You can't go on about 'power, greatness & meaning' (something you seem obsessed by) until you finally finish something. Even then, you have to leave it to others to determine whether your work has any merit or not. That's for the audience to decide. Not you. Finish what you started. A half-baked idea is no good to anyone. You have to see it through, and that takes work. Lots of it.

You say that this melody is great and has lots of potential. Then you talk about 'if you decide to finish it'. Surely, if you think it has lots of potential, then you would finish it??!!?? Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. I can't comment on the music until I hear the finished product.

'They lack appreciation, and that's what blinds them' ??!!?? You're wrong here. They appreciate good music, and that's what makes them decide what's good, and what's not. If someone doesn't like your music, that doesn't automatically mean they lack appreciation.

In fact, quite the opposite. It means they're discerning. If someone likes your music, they like it. Pure and simple. If they don't, they don't. That's life. Stop talking up your music and finish something. Then let the audience decide, and LISTEN when they respond.

My Reply: I will finish it then. I was just eager to share it now because I thought there was the possibility that people would realize the power and greatness this melody has. I see that's not the case, and I must fully craft this melody so that said greatness becomes realized. Lastly, there are people who don't appreciate good music. So, the audience isn't always right and discerning as you say they are.

Other Person's Response: I heard your father is also a musician. Do you wish to compose the style of music he makes, and learn from him?

My Reply: The style of music I wish to compose is something bizarre and out of the ordinary. It would be something completely different than the style he composes. That Dark Tune would be an example of one of those bizarre, out of the ordinary, tunes. Some tunes I put up there though have a normal and beautiful vibe to them. When I learn how to make fully crafted music, I wish to add my bizarre music to videos, such as Sonic the Hedgehog, and other types of video games and anime.

Other Person's Response: Could you explain more in regards to that Dark Tune because I'm already intrigued?

My Reply: First of all, I'll just say this as a reminder. There's one part of this tune that's at a softer volume than the other part. That part that has the lower volume is the leading tune, which is supposed to lead into the chorus. The chorus is the loud and powerful part.

It's at a lower octave, while the leading tune is at a higher octave. Now, this Dark Tune isn't just a tune. It's supposed to be the bridge and chorus of a song. I'll have to create the whole song myself someday. It would be like if I just shared this part of Michael Jackson's song "Man in the Mirror:"

"'Cause they got nowhere to go

That's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place

(If you want to make the world a better place)

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)"

Other Person's Response: So, you'd just be sharing the bridge and chorus of a dark, powerful song you'd make in the future. I take it you just wish to showcase it in the meantime until you make the full song.

My Reply: That's correct. Also, I do envision a type of singing voice that would sing this dark and powerful chorus. It would be like the voice of a powerful, dark witch. If you listen to the woman's singing voice in this youtube video, then imagine a dark, powerful, choir version of her voice. It would sound similar to her voice, but in a dark and powerful way. It would be T'pau's voice from the song Heart and Soul. I'll go ahead and share the youtube video:

https://youtu.be/SwrYMWoqg5w

Other Person's Response: When you say a dark, powerful, choir version of T'pau's voice sings your chorus, are you referring to her voice in the beginning of her song "Heart and Soul?" Or, are you referring to her loud, singing voice that's heard in the chorus of her song?

My Reply: I'm referring to her singing voice in the beginning of the song. So, imagine a dark, powerful version of that voice singing my chorus. When you listen to how her voice sounds in the beginning, it sounds sort of heavy. It's almost as though that voice can become the singing voice of a powerful, dark witch. But, when you listen to her singing voice during the chorus of her song, it doesn't sound like that. So, I'm not talking about the chorus of her song.

Other Person's Response: I don't see how her voice can be the singing voice of a dark witch at all!

My Reply: Then forget what I said if that's the case. All I'm trying to say here is that a woman would sing the chorus of my Dark Tune. Her singing voice would sound like a powerful, dark witch. It would sound heavy and evil.

Other Person's Response: You're 30 years old, and even my own little daughter, with her little knowledge and experience in composing, can produce a better tune than you! At least her tunes convey meaning and emotion, while yours are just plain rubbish! Your tunes convey no meaning and emotion whatsoever!

My Reply: I think they do and people don't realize it yet, since they're not fully crafted melodies (i.e. just the bare bones laid out for others to listen to, which would be the melody itself, along with a few additional things). Also, if I feel a certain powerful, awesome emotion (such as a given character or scene), I wish to express that through music. I wish for the amazing power of my positive emotions to take on a musical form.

Otherwise, such amazing power would be contained only within myself, and wouldn't be expressed through music I create. I could certainly act out on such emotions (such as acting out a scene or character). But, I'd just be acting out, and nothing more. It wouldn't really express how I'm feeling, since it might give the impression I'm some crazy person. My gestures and voice just wouldn't convey the artistic emotion I'm feeling.

Other Person's Response: If it's really the case the fully crafted music you make is meaningless rubbish for other listeners, then it seems you can't relate to your audience. You wouldn't actually know how to create music the audience would love. You'd just think you know, but don't.

My Reply: If this turns out to be the case when I fully craft my melodies, then I'm not sure how to fix this problem.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 10/12)

Other Person's Response: Music comes from within. If you want to create music that is powerful and awesome for others to listen to, then the music you create has to come from within. It must be inspired, and not just rubbish.

My Reply: That's what I'm doing. The melodies I create in my head are created through inspiration. Some of them are created through channeling powerful emotion within myself.

Other Person's Response: Your melodies need more variation to them in order for them to be something good when you fully craft them. I also think they're too repetitive.

My Reply: Personally, I don't think they do, and I also think they're repeated the right amount of times. You need repetition in music. But, not too much.

Other Person's Response: I think you're a boring, dull, shallow, shit person after having read all your previous packets.

My Reply: I think there are other ways to grow and be a great, interesting person. For example, I wish to compose some pretty bizarre, profound, powerful, interesting music, and that would make me an interesting, awesome, profound person right there!

Other Person's Response: I'm sorry to say it, but magnetic therapy doesn't work, your music will be shit when fully crafted, and there's no afterlife. Those things you wanted to be true weren't! There's reality for you!

My Reply: I'm hoping it's the opposite.

Other Person's Response: You do realize that even great music has people ridiculing it, right?

My Reply: Yes. But, if far more people are saying my fully crafted music is great than there are people saying it's rubbish, then that says my music is great, and there are just some people out there who don't like it. But, if almost everyone says my fully crafted music is awful, then I'll know it's awful.

Other Person's Response: What about the beat of your Dark Tune? Do people also think it's rubbish?

My Reply: From my perspective, it's a very good, catchy beat that conveys power and meaning. It may not be the best beat in the world. But, I still think it's good and catchy. If anyone says it's rubbish, then perhaps it's because I don't have other things to go along with that beat in order to convey its power and meaning. The same idea applies to the beat, along with the melody. Or, maybe other people were right all along, and I just see it as good and catchy.

Other Person's Response: Even if it's the case that your melodies will become great once fully crafted, you're not making a proper beat. You don't have the right chords either. That's not how you make a beat, and that's not how you make chords.

My Reply: At least the melodies themselves are there for now. Now, I just need to learn how to make the right beat, chords, etc. to make them fully crafted melodies.

Other Person's Response: You said you have a memory there that allows you to realize the power and meaning your tunes have (including your Dark Tune). If that memory were to be taken away, you're saying you'd perceive your tunes like how any normal person would?

My Reply: Yes. I'd also see them as crap, rubbish tunes that convey no meaning. I know this from personal experience because I did, in fact, lose memories in regards to certain tunes. This is because the brain naturally forgets. However, certain memories can become permanent (unless taken away by brain damage, or any other factor).

I've brought back those memories I've forgotten because you can bring back memories you've forgotten. This means I now know what these tunes are supposed to be like in their fully crafted form. That even includes the Dark Tune. What's even better is that these memories are now permanent.

Having these memories will allow me to know how I'm supposed to craft these tunes. Since I see power and meaning in my tunes that has yet to be conveyed to the audience, this means I'll know what I need to do with these tunes to fully bring out said power and meaning. I'll know this when I learn how to fully craft a melody.

Other Person's Response: You already described the power and meaning that has yet to be conveyed by your tunes though. So, even if you did lose those memories again, shouldn't you still remember by reading your descriptions?

My Reply: I'd know what power and meaning my melodies are supposed to convey. However, that's not enough because there's a difference between having a memory from reading a description, as opposed to an artistic vision that has yet to become reality. Let me give you an example. If a person wrote a very powerful melody that's not fully crafted, then he'd know the power that has yet to be conveyed by said melody, since he's the one who created it.

He could even describe the power on a sheet of paper, and save that sheet. He has a vision of this melody that he has yet to bring into fruition to the audience. But, if he were to lose the memory of his artistic vision of that melody, then he'd just hear it as a rubbish melody, and nothing more, when he listens to it. Sure, he could read the description he wrote on that sheet of paper.

But, that won't bring back the artistic vision he had of that melody. If he tries to bring back that memory he lost, and can't bring it back, then he's going to have to create a new vision in his mind of that melody. If he doesn't create a new vision, then he'll continue to hear the melody as meaningless rubbish when he listens to it. But, if he manages to bring back his former vision, then he'll hear the melody as powerful and great when he listens to it.

Other Person's Response: I understand that your goal in composing is to express the things you describe because you wish to express yourself as an artist.

My Reply: Exactly. I said that Dark Tune was powerful, catchy, and conveyed deep meaning. It's supposed to convey an awesome scene of a gothic character, unleashing a magnitude of energy. I hope this gets conveyed once that tune is fully crafted. At this point though, I don't think any of that will be conveyed.

Other Person's Response: I'm a professional musician, and I can tell you right now that, even if that Dark Tune was accurately transcribed, and fully crafted, it's nothing good because not too many people are going to like it.

My Reply: Will there be other musicians debating against you on that? If so, then we don't know the real truth yet. I bet there will be other professional musicians and composers out there who might say something along the lines of:

"Give this man a chance! He could have something great here, and all of you are being dicks! I would love to see this melody in its fully crafted form to see if this man's claims of greatness were true or not!"

Given this, I see every reason to keep an open mind. I could have something great in my head as I say. But, then again, it could be garbage.

Other Person's Response: Do you have any way to show that we're just being dicks?

My Reply: This is a video of a song from Sonic the Hedgehog. It's called the Scrap Brain Zone theme. I'll show you the video:

https://youtu.be/NoVY7nvcel0

You can hear the melody, along with all the other musical elements that go with that melody. Now, if I just took the melody that goes from 0:04-0:17, and presented that like how I've presented my melodies, then I bet there will be people who'd say this melody is nothing great, it's crap, conveys nothing, etc. (that is, if these people have never heard the Scrap Brain Zone theme. If they've already heard it, then they'd know what it is just from me sharing the melody).

Even though the melody is simple, does repeat, and there's just a bit of variation at the end when it gets to 0:17, these people would be blind to the melody's greatness, personality, and memorable quality to claim it's garbage. But, once I share the fully crafted melody in that video to these people, I bet they'd now say it's something good and catchy. Take note that I'm not talking about the whole song here. Just that short portion that goes from 0:04-0:17.

Since these people would be blind to this melody's greatness, then they could be blind to the greatness of my melodies. Once I fully craft my accurately transcribed melodies, then I bet people would realize they're something great, too. So, I think the melodies I've presented are great, and it's simply the way I've presented them that renders people bashing them. I have to present them in their fully crafted form for their greatness to be realized.

Other Person's Response: So, you think your melodies are awesome, and it's simply the way you've presented them that's awful?

My Reply: Yes. This awful presentation prevents people from realizing their greatness.

Other Person's Response: That Scrap Brain Zone portion, even when fully crafted, is still nothing good or great on its own. It's having the full song that makes music great.

My Reply: I disagree. I think people would be having too high of a standard, which prevents them from appreciating the power and greatness of simple tunes. After all, why can't simple tunes be something great?

Other Person's Response: I think it's best if you learn how to fully craft your melodies yourself, rather than having other skilled composers do it. This is because only you know how to convey your melodies in a way you intended. If other people do it, then the melody might convey something different than you intended. This is because each person has his/her own vision of a melody, and you need to make your personal vision a reality.

My Reply: I agree. When I said earlier only I know what my melodies are supposed to be, and only I know their power and meaning, I was referring to my vision of my melodies that I have to bring into fruition.

Other Person's Response: You're right. There are simple tunes that are great as you say, and I agree that Scrap Brain portion, and the Frosted Flakes tune, are great and catchy. But, there's a big difference between a simple tune that's great, meaningful, and catchy, as opposed to one that's plain garbage, and doesn't convey any sort of meaning. I'm afraid your tunes are meaningless garbage, even in their fully crafted form.

My Reply: How do you know that? I haven't gotten the chance to fully craft them yet. So, I don't think people should be jumping to conclusions. Neither should I jump to the conclusion that these melodies in my head are great.

Other Person's Response: I could be crazy, but maybe you do have some great melody that people don't realize yet. But, to make it fully crafted, you need proper chords, a proper beat, and everything else that makes a fully crafted tune.

My Reply: Sure. I'll learn how to do that someday.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you don't understand things, such as beats, chords, etc. If you don't understand that, then what makes you think you know how to create an awesome, powerful melody in your head?

My Reply: Melodies are very basic things, since they're just notes and rests. That's what makes it easy for me to come up with an awesome melody in my head. Sure, I could also come up with a proper beat, chords, and harmony instinctively in my head to go along with that melody. But, all of that's too complicated for me to try to transcribe at this point.

It's much easier for me to transcribe the melodies themselves. Thus, I've just decided to stick with transcribing the melodies in my head, and then adding basic chords and a beat. But, I don't think these chords and beats work well. However, when I learn more, and gain more skill in composing, that's when I'll add the proper chords, beat, harmony, instruments, etc.

Having more knowledge and experience will make matters much easier, and I prefer the easy way, rather than the painstaking, hard way of trying to transcribe the chords, beats, harmony, instruments, etc. I hear in my mind right now. It will be easier because I'll know my chords, and I'll have knowledge of other things. Think of a situation where a person has an amazing drawing he's created in his head.

Would it be easier if this person tried to painstakingly replicate the drawing in his head right now, when he has very little knowledge and skill in drawing? Or, would it be easier when he knows how to draw, and has more skill? The latter would be the much better alternative. Even if he took up the former alternative, that would only leave him drawing like crap.

Other Person's Response: You said melodies are very basic things. Not always. Some melodies can be very complex.

My Reply: I agree. But, the melodies I'm making are simple. Although, there might be some melodies I make in my head that will be complex. For now, I'm just sharing my simple melodies.

Other Person's Response: When you come up with melodies in your mind that don't have chords, harmony, etc. to go along with them, do you still understand their power and meaning?

My Reply: Yes. It's still possible to understand the power and meaning of a melody, even without the chords, harmony, etc. For example, if I hear certain notes of the melody emphasized in my mind, then that conveys the melody to me in a certain way, rather than just having notes and rests play in my head. In other words, the melodies I'm hearing in my mind aren't just melodies, and nothing more. There's something more there that allows me to understand their power and meaning.

Other Person's Response: I don't think that fully crafted Scrap Brain portion is enough. I really think you need a full song, with no technical flaws with it, in order for music to be something great.

My Reply: That's like a robot, or a machine, requiring the exact right input. Otherwise, it spits out an error. My point is, I don't think everything needs to be perfect in order for music to be something great or beautiful. You can still have a simple tune with some technical flaws to it, and it be something great. As long as the actual tune is there, then its power and personality should still be intact, and I think said power/personality should still be praised.

But, if the melody was completely messed up, then I'd agree it would be awful. We as human beings are not machines or robots. We should be able to see works of art as still being great, even though they're not perfected. We shouldn't be like these machines that spit out the following error whenever a great tune has some technical flaws, and isn't a fully crafted song. That error would be:

"It's still nothing good, or isn't that good. You must improve the craft to make it something good."

Other Person's Response: What do you mean by 'technical flaws?'

My Reply: I mean things, such as bad sound quality, crackles, pops, etc.

Other Person's Response: You said that Dark Tune was something simple, yet powerful, and that it's something you'd hear in the chorus part of a song. Sure, there can be simple, powerful things being played in the chorus of a song, and it does repeat. But, you need much more to make it a chorus.

My Reply: Understood. That's why I said I'll fully craft this melody someday. Remember, this tune is simply the chorus part taken out of an existing song I'd create. I could create the whole song myself if I want to, or just fully craft the chorus, share that, and leave it at that because it should still be something awesome and powerful on its own, even without the context of an entire song. Like I said, short tunes can still be something awesome and powerful.

Other Person's Response: Trust me. Once you become a skilled, educated composer, you'll look back at those tunes you've created in your mind, and realize just how awful they were. You'll come to realize they were meaningless garbage all along that never conveyed anything.

I mean, if you already think certain crap works of art are great, then this shows you're blind to the truth. After all, you said in your Undecided Packet that you're blind to virtually every truth there is.

You're currently living in a fantasy, since you believe your mentally inspired tunes are great. But, reality will strike you, once you head down the learning path of the composing art. In short, learning more allows you to see the real truth.

My Reply: Although you have a point, I can't be too sure if you're right. Only time will tell if these melodies I have in my head are great or not. For all we know, if I do become a skilled, educated composer, I might still think these tunes in my mind are great, and convey the scenes I describe.

Other Person's Response: If you still think they're great and convey what you describe, even after all the knowledge and experience you've gained, then there must be something wrong with you.

My Reply: Maybe you're right.

Other Person's Response: I heard you couldn't tell the difference between a crap work of art, and a good one. But, you can tell the difference when the absolute worst, crap artwork is compared to a great one. Your melodies fall under the category of being absolute garbage. So, I don't know why you can't see them for the garbage they really are.

My Reply: You're right. If my tunes, for whatever reason, fall under the category of being absolute garbage, then surely it would be obvious to me. The fact I think they're great could mean they're great, and that I just have to convey their greatness. Or, maybe, they're not absolute garbage, but still crap that I see as great.

Other Person's Response: Other people would say you're blind and can't see how awful your tunes are, while you say other people are blind and can't see how awesome they are. So, which is it? I personally think you're the blind one.

My Reply: That's a good question to ask, and I'm eager to eventually discover the real answer to it.

Other Person's Response: I thought I was a skilled basketball player once, only to find out later on I sucked, once I gained knowledge and experience in the sport. I think the same thing applies to you. You should eventually come to the realization those melodies in your mind were garbage.

My Reply: We'll see then.

Other Person's Response: If you think your tunes are great, and convey awesome scenes, but that people just don't understand your tunes, then you might as well be saying this to your audience:

"My music is great. You're just hearing it wrong."

My Reply: The tunes I'm hearing in my head I think are wonderful. But, what I'm reproducing is awful and jarring. I need to somehow make my tunes great like they are in my head.

Other Person's Response: No. Your melody really won't be anything good. It's overly simplistic, and too predictable. Your melodies are either too predictable, or discordantly unpredictable. There's either nothing to surprise, or nothing to latch on to.

My Reply: How are my melodies overly simplistic? If I came up with a melody, which had the notes C, D, E, F, and G going up, then that would be a very basic, simple melody. That melody wouldn't be anything great. But, my melodies are more sophisticated than that. I don't think they're standard, generic melodies like the example I've just given. I think they're great, and do convey the emotion I describe. It's not just a more sophisticated choice of notes I made.

I think my choice of notes and rests do convey the power and scenes I describe. My melodies might be too predictable, as you say. But, aren't there melodies out there that call for such predictability? Also, I do realize my melodies are lacking in many things to make them fully crafted, and I do agree with the advice other people give me to help me make them fully crafted. But, I just don't agree they're generic melodies that convey nothing. Surely, they must convey the power and emotion I describe once they're fully crafted.

Other Person's Response: Yes, your melodies are more sophisticated than some lame, generic melody. But, they're still too simple to be considered anything great, or conveying of any given scene.

My Reply: I said earlier there can be simple, powerful, repeated things in the chorus of a song. Are you sure it can't be something as simple as my Dark Tune, and still convey an awesome, powerful scene?

Other Person's Response: You can't just have the fully crafted chorus of a song, and that be good enough. You need to engage the listener. A good part of what makes a great piece of music is the same as what makes a good bit of comedy. It's about the setup and punch line.

You need to set up the expectation of where the piece is going, and then subtly deviate in an enjoyable, but unexpected way. In music, you can do this through tune, tone, texture, etc., or a combination. Then, keep doing it. Most people who do that well do it without even realizing that's what they're doing. It just comes naturally. It's called talent.

When writing your packets, you also need to engage the reader as well. Otherwise, people won't even bother reading, and won't think it's anything good. For example, when writing an article, it has to be done in such a way that readers would really want to continue reading it.

My Reply: I think that's too high of a standard because, let's pretend I did fully craft that chorus, then I think that, alone, is something awesome and powerful well worth appreciating. I think people just need to learn to appreciate things, whether it be my writing, ideas, music, me as a person, or anything else.

Other Person's Response: Although that Dark melody does repeat, I can tell there's a bit of variation to it because some notes are lowered, and then raised each time it plays.

My Reply: Some would say that's too predictable of a melody. But, some melodies do have such predictability, and said predictability works well with these melodies. It all depends on what emotion you want to convey. If you want to convey something different, then you'd have more variety to the melody.

Other Person's Response: I don't think it's a matter of people not understanding your tunes. I think your tunes really are shit. Also, there are many problems, and a major one would be the synth you're using because it's awful!

My Reply: How do you know people understand the music I'm trying to convey? We can't prove if the melodies I'm trying to convey are understood by other people. As far as we know, they could be perceived as ordinary, crap tunes a mere child, or complete beginner would come up with. If my tunes are being perceived this way by others, then it's because I need to successfully convey my melodies, so they truly become understood.

In regards to the synth, it was in FL Studio. I can't see how awful it is. It's just fine to me from my perspective. That's because I lack knowledge and experience to see just how awful it is. Maybe I got the wrong settings on it. That being the case, I'd have to learn how to get the right settings to make it sound good. Also, I don't have the proper instruments for my tunes either, and expected people to understand my melodies, and their intended power.

Other Person's Response: So, you're basically saying that, if people do get some sort of meaning or scene from your Dark Tune in its current stage (such as that it sounds like some awful, mediocre tune you'd hear in a child's movie), that it wouldn't be the intended meaning, and that you need to fully craft the tune, so its true power and meaning can be conveyed?

My Reply: Yes. Imagine if any musical artist tried to convey a piece, or a certain melody in his mind, that was amazing and tragic. But, other people got a whole new meaning from it, and said it was all garbage. That musical artist would be an unrecognized genius.

Other Person's Response: Maybe the melody you're hearing in your mind is great. But, if you can't reproduce it for anybody else, then it doesn't really matter, does it? I could insist that I've got the greatest story of all time in my head. But, if all I can write is: "Once upon a time, there was a dog who saw a bird," that's not really a timeless classic, is it? Can I blame the reader for not understanding my brilliant story?

My Reply: You can't blame the reader. I was hoping other people would understand my melodies. But, I see they can't, and my only option is to fully craft these melodies.

Other Person's Response: There's no reason why your Dark Tune can't make a great piece of music if performed well and inventively (and with more going on than you have currently). But, you've not done that. There are some tunes that are great by themselves. But, then there are those tunes that are great, but can't be great by themselves. Your tune is the latter because it needs much more development before it can become great.

My Reply: I'll consider fully crafting this tune then someday.

Other Person's Response: You do post the most complete collection of bollocks I've ever come across. Those melodies of yours have NO power and meaning. They're derivative, utterly predictable, crap. Stop defending rubbish, learn a bit about music (no, you haven't), learn to use the instruments and processors you find on the net (there's LOADS of free stuff, which is of extremely high quality), compose something consisting of more than a single-voice drone designed for an 8-bit game for kids (even medieval monks eventually discovered polyphony), and then join the VAST crowds of wannabee composers who struggle every day to get their works heard. I give you fair warning. There are some extremely talented people among that lot. You don't have a snowflake in hell's chance.

My Reply: But, even tunes that might seem simple, repetitive, derivative, predictable, crap, etc. end up becoming great tunes once they're fully crafted. When I say great, I don't mean the best thing in the world. I mean something that's still great and powerful in its own way. Any given tune doesn't have to meet the highest standard to be considered great. A tune can still meet a reasonable standard of greatness. What people consider to be a reasonable standard is subjective though. For example, some people would say that the Super Mario theme song doesn't even meet a reasonable standard of greatness, while I think it does.

The Super Mario theme isn't the best thing in the world. But, it's still something good. The same rule applies to simple, short, repetitive tunes. Tunes such as these can still be something great and powerful. My point is, my tunes might seem like simplistic, unoriginal garbage at this stage. But, I have yet to convey the tune's greatness and power. Only then should it become something great, and convey what I describe. Lastly, I'm willing to take the advice of others to help me improve and successfully convey my tunes. So, I'm not dismissing any advice people give me.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I don't see how your melodies are derivative. They seem quite unique, and there are some bizarre ones there, too.

My Reply: Exactly. When I'm inspired to create a melody, it's purely my own melody. I don't derive from the works of others at all. I don't know where people are getting this idea that my melodies are derivative. If they seem derivative to others, for whatever reason, then it wasn't intentional on my part.

Other Person's Response:

Step 1:

Matt: "Listen to my music. Isn't it great?"

Normal Person: "I listened to it. No, it's not."

Step 2

Matt: "...but it's a deep and powerful melody..."

Normal Person: "It's not. It's rubbish."

Step 3

Matt: "...but there are basic, simple melodies out there that are powerful, great, and memorable..."

Normal Person: "Yes. But, yours isn't one of those."

(repeat from step 2, occasionally step 1)

My Reply: But, you just told me earlier that this melody of mine could be something great if I carried out the necessary tasks you mentioned (i.e. performing it well, having much more to it, etc.). So, how can you conclude that the melody I'm hearing in my mind is nothing great?

I think I got the right notes, rests, and tempo to the melody, and I don't think it matters what anyone thinks in regards to this melody because there are many unexpected surprises in life.

You might find yourself surprised once I fully craft this melody to make it like the one I'm hearing in my head. You might find yourself looking back and realizing just how wrong you were to jump to the conclusion that I never had any talent, and that my melodies were meaningless garbage.

Other Person's Response: Why do you write so much bullshit?

My Reply: There are two reasons:

1.) If I fully craft my melodies, and it turns out people were wrong when they say they're meaningless garbage, then everything I've written would be a matter of people looking back at this packet, and realizing just how wrong they were. I also like to share and express my personal views.

I'm merely speaking up for myself, and keeping an open mind to the possibility that my melodies could be great, and their greatness not being recognized yet.

Many people are closed-minded, and I'm not one of those people because I also keep an open mind to the possibility that other people were right. However, if it's the case other people are wrong, then my tunes really were great, and I wasn't talking bullshit.

2.) If I really am talking bullshit, and my melodies were meaningless garbage all along, then I might as well amount to nothing more than an untalented loser who talks bullshit all the time. I might as well pester people with these lies.

Other Person's Response: You know, there is a #3. Even if #2 is the reality of the situation, you don't have to give up and deem yourself as some worthless loser. You said composing was your passion, and you can still go through with it, and learn how to make some good music later on. Therefore, it doesn't have to be all black and white like this.

My Reply: I'll consider #3 then if it's the case #2 is the truth. But, I think it could very well be #1.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I'm convinced it's #2. Imagine if I told a child to create a melody that conveys something powerful and profound, such as a couple falling in love. Sure, that child would come up with a tune, claim it's something great, conveys what he describes, and that he's an unrecognized genius who simply needs to make his melodies understandable for other listeners. But, that child knows nothing, and he's only deluding himself. From there, he'd only remain in denial to continue to stick by his claim, despite other skilled musicians telling him his tune is garbage (even when fully crafted).

My Reply: You could be right. But, I'm still going with #1. I don't think I'm the equivalent of a mere child. I'm more of a person than that, and I think I can be inspired to come up with truly great melodies in my head.

Other Person's Response: It has nothing to do with how great you are as a person. Music is like any other skill. If you have very little to no knowledge and experience, then you can't expect to come up with any great tune in your head. It doesn't matter even if you were the greatest, most compassionate, inspired person on Earth; without the necessary knowledge and skill, the melodies you come up with in your head will be crap.

My Reply: Music is something very personal to me, and I think I can come up with truly great melodies in my mind by channeling my inspired greatness as an individual.

Other Person's Response: Your conclusion that these created tunes in your mind are great, and convey the scenes you describe, is irrational. It seems you don't have much capacity for rational thought. If you were a rational thinking person, you would've realized your melodies are meaningless garbage, like other people have been telling you.

My Reply: We'll see who's the irrational one once I fully craft these melodies.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to create good lyrics to your music?

My Reply: I don't need to. I'm concerned with just creating very good, emotionally powerful, and catchy music. Let's pretend I do create such music, and it had awful lyrics. It would still be great music, simply because of its power and catchiness. If anyone wishes to add their own lyrics to any fully crafted music I share in the future, that's fine. So, I'm not really concerned about being someone who comes up with good lyrics.

Other Person's Response: Even if your music turns out to be amazing, that doesn't make you an amazing person.

My Reply: Music is an expression of our personality. Therefore, if you create amazing music, that makes you an amazing person. If there was a horrible person who created amazing music, that person would be horrible in one area, but would be an amazing person in another area.

Other Person's Response: I could also restate your line of logic as:

"I completely disagree with others when they say the melodies in my mind I'm trying to convey are meaningless crap. Music is an expression of our personality. Since I know how to express myself as an individual, then that means I instinctively know how to express various forms of power and greatness through music in my own head. In other words, I don't need to study up on how music works in order for me to create great, powerful melodies in my head. But, I do need to study if I wish to convey these melodies, and their greatness/power in the real world (which I plan on doing)."

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Although I admire the type of inspiration you're channeling to create these melodies in your mind, since you're inspired to come up with awesome, evil, powerful, dark tunes, what good is that if all you're creating is shit music, both in your head, and in the real world? Just because you have an awesome inspiration doesn't mean the works of art you create in your head will be awesome, too.

My Reply: I don't think such awesome inspiration/emotion is yielding shit melodies in my mind. I think these melodies in my mind reflect the awesome inspiration used in creating them. I just have to find a way to convey these melodies.

Other Person's Response: I think you're confusing the amazing, powerful emotion used in creating your melodies with the melodies themselves. You see them as being one, when they're not.

My Reply: I can still be apathetic (emotionless) and come up with a melody in my head that I think is awesome and powerful.

Other Person's Response: How do you come up with your great, catchy melodies? Do you just pick what series of notes sound good to you?

My Reply: No. It's nothing like a student, being with a music teacher, who says to pick what series of notes sound good to him, while following the rules of music theory. An average lay person would use this method in coming up with melodies that sound good to him. How do you think Koji Kondo created the Super Mario theme?

I bet he didn't just sit there and picked what series of notes sounded good to him. What I do to create my melodies is I let the emotion/inspiration create the melodies for me. It's as though I can use pure emotion/inspiration alone to sculpt a musical work of art in my own mind.

This method is something greater, and goes deeper than just playing around on the keyboard to come up with tunes, or just casually coming up with melodies in your mind that sound good to you.

This greater method is like using your own soul, or your very life essence, to craft music, rather than just being an average person, coming up with average melodies. It would be like a person deeply inspired to come up with great music, as opposed to an average person, going to work, and making music as an ordinary job that he likes, and enjoys.

Other Person's Response: So, you're basically saying that music is a very profound, spiritual thing and, thus, you can come up with great, powerful tunes in your head through your very soul, rather than through actually studying up on things, and learning how to do it.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You can't create any amazing, catchy music in your mind if you don't know how to do it. So, you're only deluding yourself into believing these tunes you have in your head convey scenes, are catchy, and are great tunes.

My Reply: I know instinctively how to express sadness, anger, or joy if I felt sad, angry, or joyful. The same idea applies to making music in my mind. I know instinctively how to create great, catchy tunes in my mind that express whatever emotion I'm feeling.

I'd call my musical instinct a higher instinct, and a more advanced form of expression, since I'm creating amazing, emotionally powerful, and profound tunes in my head, as opposed to simply performing certain gestures, or tones of voice. In other words, I can express myself through music far better than what any tones, acts, and gestures can.

Only in my mind though at this point. So, you are wrong. I don't need to know how music works. I just need to channel whatever emotion I'm feeling. The only time I need to know how music works is if I wish to successfully convey the music I hear in my mind (which I want to do).

Also, I only channel the positive emotions because I see nothing beautiful about negative emotions. When I create dark or dramatic sounding tunes, I'm actually channeling positive emotions. They would be powerful, dramatic, good feelings.

Other Person's Response: Your whole idea that you somehow know instinctively how to create good, powerful, and catchy music in your head is plain nonsense!

My Reply: Music is a part of me, since it's something so profound and beautiful to me. I may not know music technically. But, I do know it personally (instinctively). So, I consider music to be an extension of myself, which means I can instinctively create great music in my head. I don't need to know the technical information of how to express love, hate, sorrow, or joy because I can do that naturally on my own. Sure, there's technical information on that (which has to do with evolution and psychology).

If I was a robot, then I'd read this technical information because I wouldn't have the instincts of a human being. But, since I am a human being, then I can instinctively express things, like love and joy, without studying up on evolution and psychology. The same thing applies to music. That's how I instinctively know how to create powerful and catchy tunes in my head that express whatever I want to express. For now, I'm just creating tunes, and not anything fully crafted in my head.

Other Person's Response: I think I know what's going on here. You can't tell the difference between a tune that's awful gibberish, and a tune that's good and catchy.

Since you don't know what makes a good, catchy tune that conveys scenes or characters, due to your lack of musical knowledge, then that leaves you creating gibberish tunes in your mind that you think are good, catchy, and convey scenes.

In other words, fully crafting these tunes is futile, since they're all meaningless, awful gibberish anyway. It would really be no different than a child playing around on the keyboard, plucking random notes, and then saying he's got something great to fully craft, and share to the world.

My Reply: We can't say for sure if this is the case yet. Besides, if these tunes I've made convey such profound meaning to me, then they have to be good, catchy tunes. If I were to listen to some kids plucking out random notes on keyboards, or making random ruckus with their guitars, then I'm quite sure I'd see that as awful gibberish. So, the very fact I see my tunes as great and catchy must mean they're great and catchy.

File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 11/12)

Other Person's Response: What you're doing here is making an irrational judgment of these tunes you have in your head because it's a judgment that doesn't match up with reality. As a matter of fact, many people make such irrational judgments all the time. For example, I could truly perceive a random stranger on my streets as a horrible, disgusting person, simply because this is how I feel about him/her. But, that would be my own judgment, which doesn't make it true.

My Reply: I don't know about that yet. It could really be the case these tunes really are that great, and that I just have to find a way to convey them. Music is something so personal and profound to me that it could be the case I can naturally come up with great tunes in my head through inspiration alone. It would be like how an anime character is profoundly connected to the fire spirit and, as a result, is naturally gifted in the art of the fire spirit. That character would be gifted mentally, since it's a mental/spiritual connection with the fire spirit.

In other words, that character can be inspired with wonderful, amazing ideas through the fire spirit. But, some knowledge and training would be needed in order for that character to convey his ideas. This analogy applies to me because I'd be profoundly connected to the spirit of music, and can be inspired to come up with great tunes in my head. I'm not saying the spirit of music is an actual spirit. That would just be a metaphor.

Other Person's Response: What if you do become a fully trained and educated composer, but compose fully crafted music that's lame, and doesn't express what you want to express?

My Reply: Then I'd find that quite frustrating, and would give up composing if this doesn't change. Now, one would think that me being a fully trained and educated composer is all that's needed for me to achieve this goal. But, perhaps something more is needed that I just don't have. I'll give another anime analogy here to get my point across, since I love anime. Goku was able to achieve Super Saiyan.

But, Vegeta couldn't, no matter how hard he trained. In other words, Goku had something within himself that allowed him to become Super Saiyan that Vegeta didn't have. But, Vegeta did go Super Saiyan later on. However, that's beside the point here.

The point I'm trying to make here is that I could go through all the education and training I want to with composing. But, I'd always be lacking something necessary that would allow me to compose music that's awesome, and expresses what I wish to express. Such an ability would be something I can't obtain through education and training.

Other Person's Response: So, you're basically saying you'll never be any good at composing, no matter how much education and training you get?

My Reply: Correct. I hope that's not the case though.

Other Person's Response: I know you've talked about your mother in your previous packet. But, what about your father?

My Reply: I don't live with my father, and I only see him when it's my birthday (which would be September 1st). Although, he has practiced the guitar for years, and is a very good guitar player. He even composes his own music. Who knows, I might have inherited some of his talent and, as a result, am creating amazing, catchy tunes in my mind. As far as I recall, I've been creating such tunes in my mind ever since I was a very young child. I even sang them.

But, since I don't know how to sing, then everyone would just hear them as gibberish tunes. As for these tunes I've created in my mind when I was a young child, they were catchy, amazing, children's tunes, and not the style of tunes I'm creating in my mind now. So, I'm naturally talented when it comes to creating good tunes in my head. But, I'm not naturally talented when it comes to playing an instrument, singing, or getting the notes to these tunes right the first time. I have to keep toying around on the keyboard until I think I've gotten the notes right.

Other Person's Response: Do you remember one of these tunes you've created in your mind as a young child?

My Reply: Yes. I remember it like yesterday. I will convey this tune when I know how to do it, so everyone can listen to it. I'm not going to be a singer. I'm just going to compose tunes by figuring out the notes on the keyboard, and going from there on musical software. Also, back then, when I was a child, I was limited to creating catchy, childish tunes in my mind, since my brain didn't have enough musical information to create these new tunes I'm creating in my mind now. I talk more about this below.

Other Person's Response: Children think they're creating great tunes in their heads all the time. How are you special? Do you think you're gifted? If so, then can other people create great, amazing music in their heads somehow?

My Reply: Our brains are naturally capable of creating amazing works of art in our head, as I said before. There's a software known as Rosetta Stone, where people sit there, listen to new languages, and learn to speak them naturally. I think the same idea applies to other things as well, such as music, visual art, etc. However, learning to speak a language is different because you can automatically convey any message you want to convey, while it requires actual knowledge and training to convey the music and visual art you create in your mind.

Other Person's Response: If you know how to create amazing, catchy tunes in your mind, do you also know how to create amazing poetry in your mind, or how to create an amazing story?

My Reply: No. But, that's only because I never read poetry or stories as a daily routine. Had I done so, then my brain would absorb that information, and I'd know how to do it naturally, just like how I'm able to naturally come up with amazing, catchy tunes in my mind.

Other Person's Response: I know plenty of people who don't know anything about composing, but are unable to create good music in their minds, since they don't know how to do it. By your logic, they should instinctively know how to do it.

My Reply: Yes. Their brains already know how to create good music. They just need that inspiration, which would allow their brains to tap into that knowledge they have. By tapping into that knowledge, they'll be able to create good music in their mind. There are certain methods that allow our brains to tap into that knowledge to create amazing works of art in our minds. The example I gave was dreams, near death experiences, or psychedelic drugs. But, inspiration can also do the trick.

Other Person's Response: What works of art are our brains naturally capable of creating then?

My Reply: It could be anything. Even a new song by Michael Jackson that's just as great, powerful, profound, memorable, and catchy as any one of his songs. If you've ever listened to MJ's music, then your brain already has all the information it needs to create a new song that is just as good as MJ's songs. Your brain would know the very soul, or personality of his music, and create a whole new song.

Other Person's Response: Do you have any tune that has more than just the melody and a beat to it?

My Reply: I do have this tune, which has chords to it. This is supposed to be the chorus part of a song I'd make in the future.

Soundcloud link:

https://soundcloud.com/user-432115982/motivationaltune

Youtube link:

https://youtu.be/NBBLpuvu-RY

Music Sheet:

https://ibb.co/fJ59SK

Other Person's Response: I'm sorry. I think that tune has been successfully conveyed. But, it's really nothing good and catchy.

My Reply: But, like I said before, there's more to conveying tunes than just having the melody down. You must have the proper beat, harmony, and chords. So, it could be the case I just don't have the right choice of beat and chords. There might also be additional harmonic elements needed to convey my tunes as well.

Given this, this tune might not have been conveyed. I mean, the chords and beat I've chosen still adhere to the key signature (C Major). But, I could just be having the wrong choice of beat and chords. My choice might be very basic and generic. This choice might instead be conveying my tune in a whole new way.

So, it might be perceived as a completely different tune than the tune I'm trying to convey. I think various choices of beat, chords, and harmony will convey your melodies in many different ways, and the idea is to have the right choice to convey the melody how you want it to be perceived.

So, that's why I think I must learn more about music theory in order to convey my tunes how I want them to be conveyed. I already know the great, catchy tune I'm trying to convey. But, perhaps it's being conveyed entirely different for other listeners, due to my choice of beat, chords, and there being no additional harmonic elements. Maybe this is the reason why other people are telling me this tune is nothing good and catchy.

Other Person's Response: How simple do your tunes have to be in order for you to think they're great? Do they only have to consist of 3 notes?

My Reply: Let me try to illustrate my point here. I'm quite sure many people have listened to one of Beethoven's symphonies, which begins with that famous and catchy:

"Bom bom bom booooooooooom (higher octave). Bom bom bom boooooooooom (repeated at lower octave)."

Even though this portion of his symphony is just 4 notes repeated, it's still great. Of course, it isn't just the 4 notes repeated. There's also proper chords and whatnot to go along with that repeated 4-note melody. Now, even if Beethoven stopped there, and decided to only share that, it would still be something great.

That repeated 4-note melody Beethoven has chosen obviously wasn't some basic, lame, mediocre tune. Anybody could choose a repeated 4-note melody like Beethoven. But, it takes a great artist to choose the right repeated 4-note melody that conveys something great.

For example, some lame, techno music producer could choose some 4-note melody to repeat, and make into a fully crafted tune. But, it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as Beethoven's repeated 4-note craft.

I don't think I'm the equivalent of some lame composer, choosing any old notes in his mind. I truly think I'm making an excellent choice of notes that I have yet to make into a full craft. These fully crafted tunes should be something very good and catchy.

Other Person's Response: I think it's ridiculous to think that Beethoven just sharing his 4-note craft (motive) is all that's needed for his music to be great.

My Reply: I don't think so at all. If people listened to it, then they'd find themselves excited, and really wanting to listen to more of the symphony. The very fact they're excited to begin with just shows that this repeated 4-note craft was something great by itself.

It would be no different than if someone was putting on an amazing light show, but only shared a very brief performance of his/her act. Just because it was a very brief performance doesn't mean it was nothing great. It was simply a brief demonstration of greatness that gets people excited to want to witness the full act. But, that brief demonstration can still be appreciated, since it was still something great and beautiful.

Other Person's Response: I'm sorry. But, I have to disagree. I really think it is ridiculous.

My Reply: For someone who's used to living his life by a high, professional, musical standard, it might very well seem ridiculous. But, imagine the casual standard of a music teacher, teaching students who are complete beginners to composing.

If a student has chosen a melody with a few notes, and this choice was something more than what some average composer, plucking out any old keys would up with, then that student might get the gold star. He might be praised by this teacher.

That goes back to my Beethoven example with how his choice of a repeated, 4-note melody, was something more than what the average, lame composer could come up with. To me, that's all that's needed to make music good. Making it into a fully crafted song would be much better.

But, just having the melody itself is good enough, and should be appreciated. A professional standard would say that's not good enough, and that it's nothing more than something very basic and simple. But, a casual standard would say that's good enough. Like I said, I think this casual standard is a reasonable standard.

Other Person's Response: You're only embarrassing yourself to compare your tunes to Beethoven's.

My Reply: I'm not embarrassing myself, since I'm not embarrassed at all. Neither am I afraid or ashamed. I'm simply expressing my personal views. I might be embarrassing other people if they felt embarrassed. But, I'm not embarrassed. Also, I don't think my tunes meet the standard of a fully crafted symphony by Beethoven. I just think my tunes are the equivalent of a professional musical artist (even Beethoven) choosing simple, good, catchy melodies.

Other Person's Response: I'm going to quote a few things you said and respond to them:

That goes back to my Beethoven example with how his choice of a repeated, 4-note melody, was something more than what the average, lame composer could come up with...

Actually, any lame composer could have come up with exactly that repeated 4 note melody.

... To me, that's all that's needed to make music good.

No, it's what's needed to START making good music...

Making it into a fully crafted song would be much better.

Making it into a fully crafted song IS the thing that distinguishes lame composers with good ones. It's not that it "would be much better." It's what's required to make it anything.

Anyone can come up with a short melody. But, developing it into a full song, or symphony, is the art of writing music, and where all the hard work lies.

I wonder if Beethoven hadn't bothered writing the rest of his symphony. Would people even take notice of those 4 repeated notes? I suspect it's because those 4 repeated notes remind them of what comes next is what makes it good. Not the 4 repeated notes on their own.

My Reply: Then you might as well say that a powerful portion of one of Michael Jackson's songs is something lame, and would make MJ a lame composer if he only composed that, and shared it. I personally do not agree with this. I think making a fully crafted song really isn't necessary.

Other Person's Response: Look. It doesn't matter what you say, and how many arguments you come up with to support your personal views; you're never going to get other people to convert to your standards. So, you either produce fully crafted songs that achieve your intended goal of pleasing the audience. Or, don't even bother, and just share your tunes to your friends or family.

My Reply: I'll definitely consider creating fully crafted songs then. Personally, I just don't agree that a fully crafted song is necessary to make music good or catchy. All I was doing here was sharing my personal views, and I think sharing my views is still well worth sharing anyway. Again, it would be like a person writing in his personal journal, and sharing it.

For example, a person can write an extensive essay, which includes a Q&A Section on his personal views of Christianity, and how he disagrees with the doctrine of hell. Another example would be someone who writes an extensive essay that talks about how he disagrees with the standards of others, which say that homosexuality is wrong.

Other Person's Response: The theme in the intro of Symphony No. 5 by Beethoven is not great. It's just sounds. The greatness of the Allegro con brio is how he uses this theme. If you learn music, you hear how he twists it through the first part. That's great music.

If you wish to create music for others, research what they like. Not doing that is disrespect. If you want to sell anything you make yourself, make what people want. If somebody hired you to make a metal tune for them, and you give them something else, you won't get paid, and your not a good composer. Not even a decent one.

If you show your music to others, the first thing you need to do is try to understand what was successful, and what's not. Even the greatest composers did change their compositions after feedback from the audience. Saying the audience is wrong is not only dumb, but rude. You're insulting their taste of music.

My Reply: But, I heard that greatness is entirely subjective when it comes to music. If that's the case, then a person, who sees one simple tune as great and catchy, would be something great and catchy for that person.

But, someone, who sees it as nothing good or catchy, wouldn't be anything good or catchy for that person. So, there are people out there who'd embrace and appreciate simple melodies, such as that repeated 4-note melody of Beethoven's, which you said was nothing more than sound.

Some people require more than just a simple melody, while others are just fine with simple melodies. It all depends on your musical standards. For example, friends and family might very well appreciate a very simple melody, while professionals require a fully crafted song.

Friends and family have, in fact, praised and appreciated simple tunes I've made. They sung them to themselves, and thought they were good and catchy. My point is, if I wish to create music that pleases many people, then my music would have to be fully crafted songs that meet their expectations.

But, if I only wish to please a crowd who appreciates simple, good, catchy tunes, then I don't need to create fully crafted songs. Any fully crafted melodies I share should be good enough. Now, I'll definitely consider creating fully crafted songs. As a matter of fact, I think I'll l do that someday when I become a skilled and educated composer.

Other Person's Response: When you say that simple tunes can be great, do you mean they can be something amazing?

My Reply: Some of them can, while others would have a lesser form of greatness that doesn't render people praising them as something amazing, but merely pleases these people. For example, if I just shared a powerful portion of MJ's music, that would be an amazing tune right there.

But, if I just shared my beautiful tune (fully crafted), then it would be something good. But, it wouldn't be as good as that portion of MJ's music. I do think that some of my tunes would be amazing once fully crafted though. They'd be my absolute best ones.

Other Person's Response: I'm going to make a joke out of this, and share this simple 4-note melody by Beethoven. I think it's very good and catchy:

https://soundcloud.com/oyvind-skald/bee ... sym-repeat

My Reply: But, you forgot to repeat the melody at the lower octave to make it complete. After all, that's what conveys the greatness and catchiness of Beethoven's melody (along with, of course, having chords and other things to go along with that melody). When I create melodies, I usually don't have just one simple melody like that. There's a bit more to my melodies.

So, my melodies are complete, and that's why they convey greatness and catchiness to my friends and family. However, some of my melodies don't need to repeat at higher or lower octaves. An example would be my Haunting Tune because some melodies convey their personality, or atmosphere, as they are. Also, just so you know, some of my melodies have more than just 4 notes to them.

Other Person's Response: In regards to what you just said in your above reply, well, there you are then. You've done it. You're better than Beethoven. No need to write anything else. Forget any chords and 'whatnots.' Don't need any of that. You're not deaf as well, are you?

My Reply: I'm not saying my simple tunes are as great as a fully crafted symphony by Beethoven. So, I'm not saying I'm as great or better than Beethoven. I have added chords and a beat to some of my tunes though.

However, some people might actually get the melodies I'm trying to convey without any chords and a beat. For example, I think people would definitely get that repeated 4-note melody of Beethoven's, its greatness, and catchiness, even without anything else to that melody. Lastly, I'm not deaf.

Other Person's Response: Well, let's keep in mind that Matt said he was autistic earlier. So, either that was him playing games, or he's actually autistic. That could explain this disconnect between emotion and music, and how it just seems to escape his understanding. Or, he could be having fun with this personality, and driving us all nuts...

My Reply: I'm not playing games, joking around, or just having fun with people. I'm serious.

Other Person's Response: I dare you to show me great music with just a 4 note melody. Do you have any example of this great art? The Beethoven one is not 4 notes; just the motive is. The greatness is not the motive itself, but how he uses it throughout. Like the part right after it's played 6 times in upwards motion, and released with an extended version of the motive. That is just the 6 bars in. How he uses the motive here is what makes it great.

My Reply: I'm saying that Beethoven's motive alone is good music. I do have an example of how just a few notes can be good, catchy music. In the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, when the character Link obtains an item, such as a piece of heart, a very brief tune plays, which conveys the acquiring of that item. Here's a link to it:

https://youtu.be/ldYCM6F3Xhw

Other Person's Response: That Zelda tune isn't simple. It's very complex orchestration to get those harmonies. It's not melody, but chords in progress.

My Reply: But, that's all based off of a simple melody, is it not? If I crafted my simple melodies, wouldn't they be good, just like that tune in the video? However, even if the tune in that youtube video didn't have all those complex elements to it, was just a simple melody, and had something simple to go along with it, such as a beat and chords, then I bet it would still be a good tune.

Other Person's Response: No, sorry. That’s why I recorded the Beethoven intro without strings, and just a mono piano to make you see that the sole melody is not strong at all. It's just 4 notes with almost no movement at all. Everything you love with the Beethoven Symphony 5 opening is the musicianship, orchestration, and how it's repeated through with small and greater changes of the motive.

Same here. In your Zelda example, you hear many instruments together making rich chords. Things like this are almost always used as a short instrumental part in a song. Like Earth Wind and Fire- Shining Star. Just a musical effect in the song, to make it less boring. It starts at 1:01 in this youtube video:

https://youtu.be/vwc0AW67CmA

My Reply: So, if I took my simple melodies, and made them strong, then would they be as good and catchy, or even better than that Zelda tune? I don't think I need to do anything with the melody, such as making smaller and greater changes to it, do I? Couldn't I just have the strong, crafted melody itself, and that be something good and catchy? Like I said though, I do plan on creating fully crafted songs someday. However, I'm merely asking if this would be good enough for now.

Other Person's Response: The very fact you claim you've created good, catchy melodies in your mind must mean you're hearing strong melodies. But, simply having these melodies down with the proper chords and beat will not do, since it won't make them strong. That won't strongly convey their greatness and catchiness.

My Reply: In which case, I'll add the orchestration and everything else that's needed along these melodies to fully convey their greatness and catchiness. In other words, I'll fully craft these melodies.

Other Person's Response: I don't think that short Zelda tune you've presented is anything good.

My Reply: Many Zelda fans love it. As a matter of fact, they've made a meme out of it, since they love it so much. For example, a person made a video of someone getting an item, such as jewelry. You then hear that tune play as the person obtains the jewelry. That's enough to say that this tune is good and catchy. Another example would be with short Super Mario tunes.

Other Person's Response: This inspired me to write a song....

https://www.bandlab.com/msmcleod/mymusi ... 155d60cb1b

Although the above is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I was actually trying to demonstrate a point here. I took that dramatic melody you presented, and developed it further. The lyrics were just based on the theme of this whole packet.

Now, I'm not saying what I did is any good (the AlterEgo voice is BAD. But, I've got a cold, and can't speak, never mind sing), but it does give your tune context. Context is important for any tune.

Even if you take those 5 notes from Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, which have no chords or anything, it does have context in the film, and that's what invokes the emotion. Nobody knows the context of your tunes. So, you have to provide one.

My Reply: I did explain the context of my tunes. For example, with my Haunting Tune, I said it was good, catchy, and conveyed profound horror. But, even so, people still told me it was nothing good, catchy, didn't convey any horror, and was just an awful tune. As for that song you just did, my dramatic melody you used has one note missing. Of course, you could've done that intentionally.

Other Person's Response: If your friends and family like your "excellent choice of notes," good for you. They are your audience, and there's no need to seek approval here, elsewhere, or put in the work to create fully crafted songs.

If you're exploring the potential for something more than the obvious career choice of music for electronic games, perhaps your destiny is to be a jingle writer, where you can be well paid for a simple, catchy melody to sell burgers. In my experience though, the professionals that pursue either direction are highly trained, hard-working, and proficient musicians.

Or, maybe nursery rhymes, which have an element of cognitive simplicity that transcends language/cultural boundaries. You could look into Leonard Bernstein's lectures at Harvard on the universal appeal of certain melodic fragments, many of which can be found in classical compositions.

My Reply: I'll learn what I need to in order to create fully crafted songs. I was just explaining my personal views is all.

Other Person's Response:

I did explain the context of my tunes. For example, with my Haunting Tune, I said it was good, catchy, and conveyed profound horror. But, even so, people still told me it was nothing good, catchy, didn't convey any horror, and was just an awful tune.

I'm aware of that. But, the point I was making is that the context shouldn't need explaining textually. If someone heard it on the radio, how would they get that context? Things like sound effects, or the musical equivalent (like the stabs in the Psycho shower scene) can help to convey the context you're trying to portray.

My Reply: As for my dramatic tune I shared to you, does my melody convey a dramatic scene? I don't mean anything sad, miserable, or depressing. I mean something heavy and dark, such as something serious about to happen. Also, I could choose a scene to go along with my melody if I wanted to.

But, I'm not sure if people would say my melody conveys what I described. The same idea applies to my Haunting Tune. As a matter of fact, people might tell me my melodies are awful, gibberish, and convey nothing, regardless of what scene, or sound effects, I choose to go along with them. I'm not sure if people would find them catchy either because I also say they're catchy.

Other Person's Response: I understand your disagreement with what people say. After all, there are many people with false opinions out there, and many people can't appreciate things. But, when professional composers tell you that your melodies aren't good and catchy in their current stage of development, then it would be wise to heed their advice.

My Reply: Understood. But, once I make my melodies strong, as I mentioned earlier, and add the proper scenes and sounds to go along with them, shouldn't they now be good, catchy, and convey what I describe? I figure that, since these melodies in my mind, by themselves, convey greatness and scenes to me, that they should do the same for others, once they become strong melodies.

Other Person's Response: It all depends on the person. For some people, they need a fully crafted song in order for some melodies to become something great, catchy, and convey certain scenes in their eyes. However, some people can pick this up very fast, and only require a simple melody.

My Reply: I can relate to this because I had a friend who had a simple, catchy rap melody he created himself, and shared to me. Even though it was just a melody, and nothing more, I got the intended vibe already from that melody. So, for me, he didn't need anything more to that melody; the melody was already great and catchy in my eyes.

I bet if I never heard of Beethoven's 5th symphony, and someone just shared the motive in the beginning of his symphony to me, and nothing more (those 4 notes on the higher and lower octaves), that I'd already pick up on the greatness and catchiness of that melody.

I bet I'd already perceive it as a melody worthy of becoming famous. But, for other people who can't pick up on that as fast as me, they require the rest of the symphony or, at least, some of the symphony in order for the melody's greatness and catchiness to get across to them.

I think it all depends on who you are. Since professionals have adapted to a higher standard, then they sometimes require more than a simple melody in order for the melody to become something great and catchy.

It would be no different than how a person has adapted to a higher standard of writing. They'd require more than the basic, average writing skill in order for it to be good writing, and for them to get the intended message of the writer.

For example, having some spelling, punctuation, or grammatical errors might render a professional English teacher not understanding the student's writing, and perceiving his/her writing as awful gibberish.

If not awful gibberish, then something that's not good writing. But, someone who has adapted to a lower standard of writing would see that student's writing as something good, and that person would clearly understand the intended message of the writer.

Other Person's Response: But, again, you can't expect people to adapt to your lower standards. You must meet their standards if you wish to please them.

My Reply: Understood.

Other Person's Response: Have you ever listened to Beethoven's 5th symphony? Or, have you only heard his motive in the beginning?

My Reply: Actually, I haven't listened to his symphony yet until someone pointed it out to me (and that was today). In other words, the only thing I've heard from that symphony was that repeated 4-note motive being played in certain shows and movies. An example would be the movie Beethoven, which is about a dog who's named Beethoven.

When I listened to that motive of Beethoven's piece being played in the movie when I was younger, I thought it was a great and catchy melody, despite the rest of the symphony being absent. So, clearly, the melody's greatness and power has gotten through to me, despite not hearing the rest of the symphony. Also, just so you know, that motive is played the moment the dog is named Beethoven.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you're not listening to anybody here. So, I think it's a waste of time to engage with you any further.

My Reply: Again, don't worry. I said I was going to produce fully crafted songs in the future, and that I was going to learn what I needed to learn. However, I was just making a point here is all. Some people can pick up on the greatness and catchiness of melodies without anything further needed, while some people need more than just a simple melody.

Other Person's Response: Nobody's going to take you serious. They don't think your melodies are that good at all.

My Reply: I take it then that people aren't understanding my melodies because, if they did, then they wouldn't be taking me lightly, and saying my melodies aren't that good.

Other Person's Response: I think you're right about that.

My Reply: I took it people did understand, for example, my Dramatic Tune. But, that they were just dismissing its greatness, due to its lack of full craftsmanship. But, then, I later assumed that people weren't understanding the melody at all. If it was the former, then I told people to lower their standards, so they can appreciate and embrace the melody's greatness and catchiness. But, if it's the latter, then I need to fully craft the melody, so that people can understand it.

Other Person's Response: Having an understanding of a melody isn't enough to make it good though. It could very well be possible other people do understand the melodies you're trying to convey, but that they still convey something bland, dull, and lame, due to their craftsmanship. That's why you need to fully craft these melodies to bring out their power, which you claim is great and catchy.

My Reply: Understood. But, for me, I can already understand some melodies just as they are, and see their greatness. Someone could jot down a good, catchy melody, along with just chords and a beat. Not only would I be able to understand that melody, but I'd be able to perceive it as good and catchy upon listening to it.

As a matter of fact, some melodies don't even need chords and a beat. An example would be how I already understood Beethoven's short motive, and perceived it as a good, catchy melody. I think Beethoven's motive was just a melody by itself playing, and nothing more.

Other Person's Response: As for your dark and dramatic tunes, they don't sound dark or dramatic at all. To me, they sound like incidental music in a cheerful, young kid's TV show.

My Reply: Then clearly, you did not get the melodies I was trying to convey. That's fine. Also, they're not cheerful tunes (except the motivational one, and a few other ones, because these ones are in the key of C Major). The dark and dramatic tunes have black keys. So, they're in a different key, which makes them heavy and dark.

Other Person's Response: What if you play the notes C, E, G, & B flat......would that make it 'heavy & dark'?

My Reply: My point is, my motivational tune, and some other ones, are the cheerful ones, while my dark and dramatic tunes aren't cheerful.

Other Person's Response: You really need to learn some music theory. 'Having black keys' in a tune doesn't mean you're playing in a minor key, which is usually where 'heavy and dark' will be found. Learn your major and minor scales. It's basic, and you'll never move forward until you do.

My Reply: But, for example, my Dark Theme is in the key of C minor, since it has an Eb, a Bb, and an Ab.

Other Person's Response: That doesn't mean you're playing in C minor. Eb, Ab, and Bb are also in the F major and Eb major scales (Eb is the relative major to C minor). Your dark and dramatic tunes have a major key feel. Like I said, until you learn this stuff properly, you'll be floundering in the dark.

My Reply: But, doesn't every minor key have a major equivalent?

Other Person's Response: Not 'equivalent.' 'Relative'. You have to know which root you're working from. Watch this. The guy makes a couple of small errors. But, you'll get the gist. Especially from 4.30 onwards. Get that theory of half and whole notes in major and minor scales in your head, and things will fall into place.

https://www.youtube.com/w..?v=_Hj9v6pwTf8&t=0s

My Reply: Maybe I used the wrong description for my Dark Tune then. I wasn't trying to convey something miserable, sad, or depressing. I was trying to convey something awesome, but, at the same time, dark. It would be like awesome power being unleashed from a dark villain, or a dark character, as opposed to a person mourning the loss of a loved one, or being tortured alive in agony.

So, perhaps the major key feeling you was getting was actually the "awesomeness" of that character's power. But, that awesomeness has to be in a minor key to make it a dark form of awesomeness, which is why my tune was in the key of C minor. So, both C minor, and the relative major, should convey something that's both awesome, dark, and heavy.

Other Person's Response: Look Matt, I haven't got the time or inclination to school you in music theory. There aren't any shortcuts to this stuff. It's up to you to learn or not. What I've heard lately is a step forward from your earlier efforts, I will say that. Try aiming for 'good' instead of 'great'. All the best with it.

My Reply: Understood.

Other Person's Response: Do you just create melodies in your own mind, or do you create full songs or themes in your mind as well?

My Reply: I'm very well capable of creating full themes or songs in my own head. For now, I'm just creating melodies, and sharing them as a means to showcase my mental musical gift. Unfortunately, showcasing my melodies isn't going to work because people can't understand my melodies in their current stage.

Other Person's Response: Are you sure you've gotten the notes of that Dark melody right?

My Reply: I might've actually gotten them wrong. I have a hard time telling the difference between the tunes I hear in my mind, and what I'm reproducing on the keyboard. I can't tell if the notes I've chosen on the keyboard are the ones I hear in my mind or not.

It becomes much more difficult when I have black keys to work with because I can't tell if the note I'm hearing is a black key, or a white one. It becomes much easier for me when the tunes I'm hearing in my mind consist only of white keys.

Although, I do sometimes get a few notes wrong, even with tunes in my head that only have white keys. It's much more difficult when I try to replicate dark or dramatic tunes in my head, since these are ones that have the black keys.

Perhaps the reason why it's so difficult for me is because the tunes I'm hearing in my mind are so faint that it's hard to make out what notes they are. Even if I say the notes out loud, it's still difficult for me to determine what note that is. I'm not sure why it's difficult for me. Maybe I just need more ear training.

Other Person's Response: I find this whole packet to be comical and a joke! People have every reason to mock you!

My Reply: I don't really see why, and I'll give you 3 reasons:

1.) I could've gotten the notes and the key wrong to some of my tunes. That's perfectly understandable for someone who's just beginning at composing. I think such a person simply needs ear training.

2.) Even if I did get the right notes to some of my tunes, I understand my own melodies, since I know what they're supposed to be, and I thought that, by adding chords and a beat to them, other people would understand them as well. As a matter of fact, I thought, at one time, that my tunes didn't even need a beat and chords to them, and that they could just be melodies, and nothing more, in order for people to understand them.

I don't see why that's something to laugh at because, if a person makes a work of art, or writes something that he clearly understands the meaning of, then it's only natural for that person to think other people would get the intended meaning, or the artwork as well. But, that person would soon learn he needs to be a skilled writer, and artist, in order to successfully convey his message and artwork.

3.) I said a short tune, that has the right choice of notes, is all that's needed for music to be good and catchy. I think that's understandable, considering there are short tunes out there that are good and catchy. An example would be that Zelda tune I posted earlier, the McDonald's I'm Lovin' it tune, which is used to sell burgers, and other short tunes.