Philosophy Now Forum

The Inglorious One wrote:"Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you think and of everything you do is for yourself -- and there isn't one." -- Wei Wu Wei

At whom was this directed? I don't know any such people, do you?

Not everyone is unhappy, so your first premise is indeed false. But it is a popular belief that everyone is unhappy, so the happiness Guru's can make money telling us how to be happy, but that only makes them happy about making more money.

Not only do I not know any people who are unhappy without a good reason, or by choice; I also don't know anyone who thinks and does 99.9% for him- or herself. Indeed, most of my acquaintance are loving, generous people who think of others, commiserate, comfort, share, volunteer, lend their tools, recycle plastic and never park across two spaces.

Skip wrote:Not only do I not know any people who are unhappy without a good reason, or by choice; I also don't know anyone who thinks and does 99.9% for him- or herself. Indeed, most of my acquaintance are loving, generous people who think of others, commiserate, comfort, share, volunteer, lend their tools, recycle plastic and never park across two spaces.

Exactly. I made the same point the other day in another thread when it was suggested that the world was full of selfish people only interested in pursuing their own self-interest. I'm an old bloke who's been around a bit and I've NEVER met anybody like that. Neither have I ever met anybody who's met anybody like that so the question is fair. Where are all these people?

I'm reminded of a line from Fiddler on the Roof. I'll paraphrase it: "They're so self-satisfied they don't know how miserable they are."

I wonder if this idea that there are many unhappy and selfish people was really a noble lie covering the harsh truth that most people are foolish. I must be honest though, most people on here seem unhappy.

Two things about that.

I'm fortunate to live in an environment where most people are at least okay for food, shelter, health care and the safety of their children; not too complacent, for the most part, but not frightened, either. But there are an awful lot of people in the world who do have plenty to be unhappy about; their numbers and the causes of their anxiety are increasing.
The whole count-your-blessings canard was made up by fat priests to bully skinny peasants into tithing more than they could afford. Blaming the victim is a time-tested religious tradition, goes back to Genesis. Everything good that happens is to God's credit; everything bad is your fault.

As to unhappiness "on here", I think that's mostly rancor, crankiness, adolescent lashing-out, graffiti - steam blown off safely in anonymity, by people who wouldn't dream of being that rude to the real people in their real lives. Well, no, I take that back. They probably do yell and swear in their dreams at the real causes of their frustration. That wouldn't stop them being generally happy and productive, though.

Jaded Sage wrote:I wonder if this idea that there are many unhappy and selfish people was really a noble lie covering the harsh truth that most people are foolish. I must be honest though, most people on here seem unhappy.

I would suggest that the subject matter found most on a forum lends itself to unhappy sounding responses. Many posts are about bad things, or people who have done bad things, and the replies are appropriate for those posts. There are very few posts that relate happier occurrences, for example, did I tell you about the trick my granddaughter played on me when she was 3 years old, or did I tell you about how I diaper trained my grandson when he was about 3 years and 10 months? How about the time my wife wore a pair of my jeans to a party? These are not the sort of posts that get a lot of attention, but posts about shootings, discrimination, and other negative events seem to draw a lot of attention and opinions.

thedoc wrote:

Jaded Sage wrote:most people on here seem unhappy.

I would suggest that the subject matter found most on a forum lends itself to unhappy sounding responses.

That is entirely possible, and an interesting idea. But I don't think that has anything to do with what I've observed. I see insecurity.

For my part, I think I should change "are unhappy" to "aren't happy" as there is a difference between being unhappy and not being happy; a third state in between happy and unhappy is 'neither happy nor unhappy.' What I mean to say is: maybe they aren't unhappy, but they definitely aren't happy either.

But again, what I've observed seems like insecurity, and the result of insecurity.

I was happy yesterday, for about one evening.
It was a new leisure activity, with nice people, and I felt to be the focus of attention of a man who was ... well, the cock of the walk, so to speak.
Interesting little things were going on, in a nice atmosphere. I loved it.
And then I was happy again when I reported about this evening to my friend.

We are not constantly happy (those on hard drugs try it but fail in the long run), we can only make wise decisions about how to make happiness happen.

We can also remember some nice events in the past and dwell upon them and relive them in a way.

[quote="Skip"]Everything good that happens is to God's credit; everything bad is your fault.

• I think that is the fault of the priests for misunderstanding what that statement means, and using it in such a way as to cause others to misunderstand it. It is true, and it is inspiring.

Parole sante, Jaded Sage.

To prove our manhood or womanhood. Yes.

Italians call "sfogo" the practice of taking frustration out. Can we create a good English word for it ?

duszek wrote:Parole sante, Jaded Sage.

To prove our manhood or womanhood. Yes.

Italians call "sfogo" the practice of taking frustration out. Can we create a good English word for it ?

Why not just use the Italian word, if it's good in Italian it will be good in English, after all English has borrowed many of it's words from other languages, One more won't make much difference.

Jaded Sage wrote:I wonder if this idea that there are many unhappy and selfish people was really a noble lie covering the harsh truth that most people are foolish. I must be honest though, most people on here seem unhappy.

They are, but they are so self-satisfied they don't know it.

When I read the title, I come to think of a celebrity who appears to have everything, yet kills himself or herself. I would say that, yes, that person had pretty much everything that could affect happiness in some way. But that person lacked something that could perhaps be one of the most important things for subjective happiness, that is metacognition, or thinking about thinking.

Sonja Ljubomirsky et al have claimed in their research that around 50% of subjective happiness is determined by genes, 10% by circumstances and 40% by intentional activity. One intentional activity could be thinking. Or it could solely be the genes and circumstances aspect. For example, if someone has habitual negative thinking and one is unaware of that thinking, then it will have a very bad influence on oneself.

A very helpful thing would be to improve metacognition and become more aware of one's thinking. That's perhaps one goal of meditation. You see your thoughts appearing just as they are and you notice them without any judgment. If the thought is, "I'm such an incompetent person", you could learn to notice it, name it, and choose a decent coping mechanism such as, for example, to go for a walk in nature.