Philosophy Now Forum

some guys do in fact smell nice

reasonvemotion wrote:You are sure one kick ass broad.........

Not my approach. I don't know any guy who would take this, lying down or standing up.

AS:

My husband told me when we first got married...before he understood what marrying me entailed...That I should be a stay at home mom...lol. I just let him know in no uncertain terms that that isn't how our marriage was going down and that I was going to continue working. He also tried to tell me that our children were going to be raised Jewish...to which I also replied 'No, they will be raised both our religions or just mine or none." I told him he could choose which one it was gonna be...lol.

I think he was like most men when they are young...still attached to the pretense of what it is to be a "man." A women helps a boy become a man...or more precisely...a man she can live with

A guy will take anything from a beautiful young woman who puts him in his place with a humorous flirtation. You read the above quote the wrong way. I said it in the most adorable feminine sweet way possible. I was and still am a woman who knows what she wants out of life. Why does that translate to someone men would not "take standing or lying down"? It has been my experience that men love an independent playful woman who calls them on their shit...lol. And I definitely know they respect you more...I have never been the doormat type of woman. I do not have a problem sharing my idea of a good life.

There is a method to my madness however, and I will share my golden advice to you because I am so incline... Do not, I repeat, DO NOT fake your principals in order to get a man to like you. The men you know who would not " take this, lying down or standing up" are not relationship material...I would respectfully decline their advances. Because trust me....what eventually ends up happening is that you realize there are certain things you cannot compromise on and lead a mentally healthy life at the same time. For example, if your husband was unreasonable about your children and refused to allow you to take them to the doctor when they needed it....and they died.... I am sure you would become a "kick ass broad" in a hurry.

My point is...why lie to them up front? Why not just tell them what you expect (in a nice funny way) and then be extremely glad if they bolt for the door. The reason you are extremely happy they bolt toward the door is because you have not wasted years of your life pretending to be something you are not and allowing the wrong person to ruin your life...and trust me again...when I say RUIN your life...I mean LIVING HELL. I have seen it happen to most of my friends.

I wanted a reasonable man. I wanted someone who could understand my fears and worries (which come when you have kids...trust me..it's called being a mother) and work with me toward a solution. I did not want a man who would not "take them lying down or standing up"...because frankly...that would be alot of turmoil and why put us both through it? So I gladly stood my own ground on the things that were important to me in life...our kids...and my work. I needed to know if I had a man I could grow old with....

Now, that may sound strange to you. But honesty is the best policy when it comes to love and men. If you don't value your ideals, neither will he. I have been married and in love for almost 25 years...how many others can say the same? Oh, and btw,,,I would give this kind advice to anyone be it man or woman. Be true to yourself always. You can't go wrong.

artisticsolution wrote: Be true to yourself always. You can't go wrong.

Wise advice!

Yes, if we're true to yourself, we'll attract people who like us for what we are. If we put on some kind of act, we'll attract folks who like the act, not the real us.

In either case, whatever we do, some people won't like it and will walk away. There's no way out of that, unless we want to try to put on a different act for everyone we meet, a truly insane, but utterly normal procedure.

Ok, now that we've had some great insights from wise women, I'd like to add the male perspective too to complete the picture. So here goes...

BURP! Whar's da nekkid pixtures in this thread thing????

Felasco wrote:
BURP! Whar's da nekkid pixtures in this thread thing????

LOL Please! I'm a married woman! Man...I wish guys would stop hitting on me!

artisticsolution wrote:LOL Please! I'm a married woman! Man...I wish guys would stop hitting on me!

Huh? Nobody's hittin on you. Well, unless you happen to be nekkid and are uploading some pixtures.

Didn't you read my important male perspective post at all???

Obviously you didn't understand my reply....let me explain myself this way. Most people...who have been in a relationship for a while....have come to find out to their surprise sometimes that:

1. People burp.

2. People like to look at nekkid pictures.

If this comes as such a shock then I recommend not falling in love. True love is a long term thing....best not to sweat the small stuff as you are going to come across it eventually...and guess what....if it is truly love...you will survive.

artisticsolution wrote: 1. People burp.

2. People like to look at nekkid pictures.

Exactly, now you understand. So where are the nekkid pictures?? The thread title clearly says...

"A true real man falls in love when he is...."

And as a real man, I'm am providing the male perspective by explaining that in the real world, this happens when the real man is....

Looking at nekkid stuff.

It doesn't have to be pictures though, that's optional. I mention that only due to the limitations of this medium.

You guys are making it way too complicated for the men you are talking about. Remember, we are just hairy ape-like animals, not real humans like you.

KISS, keep it simple stupid.

Show the nekkid stuff...

And he falls in love.

Bingo, you're done!

All that other stuff you're doing above, I think it must be for women and lesbians and higher life forms like that.

WTF is love man/woman? In reality it is a contract, in its purest genetic form it is a union for the procreation of another being, in its most heinous form it is equivalent to the internal vaginal masturbation by an unfeeling male person, which unfortunately IS what some consider in the capitalist world as a worthy relationship.
If people let go of these stereo-typical identity modes and return to ,,,,,,oh damn, I don't know how to express it,,,

Felasco wrote:

artisticsolution wrote: 1. People burp.

2. People like to look at nekkid pictures.

Exactly, now you understand. So where are the nekkid pictures?? The thread title clearly says...

"A true real man falls in love when he is...."

And as a real man, I'm am providing the male perspective by explaining that in the real world, this happens when the real man is....

Looking at nekkid stuff.

It doesn't have to be pictures though, that's optional. I mention that only due to the limitations of this medium.

You guys are making it way too complicated for the men you are talking about. Remember, we are just hairy ape-like animals, not real humans like you.

KISS, keep it simple stupid.

Show the nekkid stuff...

And he falls in love.

Bingo, you're done!

All that other stuff you're doing above, I think it must be for women and lesbians and higher life forms like that.

I doubt most people would consider what you are describing as "true love" .

Men may not be complicated but when it comes to love, I doubt very seriously that all they need to do is see a nekkid body and that automatically means they fall in love for real. You are right ... Keeping it THAT simple is stupid.

Which brings me to my point....women count. Our opinions count in nature and our instincts are also for survival...a fact glossed over by history. A man's "needs and desires" are all too well known....how many of us have learned that men are the seed planters and women are the nurturers as if that is all that is needed to excuse men from any responsibility. That is simply not true....there is a reason men are also nurturers...and that is because women would often die in childbirth and someone had to raise the off spring. Men can raise children just as well as women and women can have as much of a sex drive as men.

This whole thread proves my point as it's main premise is "how feminism has harmed men". I find it amusing some feel they have to come to the rescue of men ...as if simply being a feminist means you must also be into man bashing. What I am hearing in this thread is, "Poor men....these women wanting to get equal pay for equal work are making men feel bad about themselves! If these feminists would just keep quiet and take the low wages and be thankful...men would not be reduced to becoming big ol' pussys!"

Reasonvemotion, are you taking this all in...if you are a woman...tell me....do you agree with felasco when he says all women have to do to get a man to fall in love with her is to get nekkid? LOL How would that work for you. Sure...he would fall in love with you if you were nekkid...but then what happens when he crosses the street and lo and behold another woman is nekked? If this is all it takes to fall in love with a woman then we are all alike and might as well be incubators for their sprem. So tell me...is this the type of man you would like to have a relationship with one that thinks of you in this manner?

You see it is like I said...they will show you and tell you who they are in a few short sentences....when a guy says something as honest as what felasco has said...move on...unless all you are after is a one night stand. And that is not man bashing...it is just simply being honest. If you want a lasting monogamous relationship...move on....felasco is not your man. No harm done....he just isn't in love. You heard it from his mouth....one nekkid body is as good as another when is comes to "uncomplicated" men.

AS:
Reasonvemotion, are you taking this all in...if you are a woman...tell me....do you agree with felasco when he says all women have to do to get a man to fall in love with her is to get nekkid? LOL How would that work for you. Sure...he would fall in love with you if you were nekkid...but then what happens when he crosses the street and lo and behold another woman is nekked? If this is all it takes to fall in love with a woman then we are all alike and might as well be incubators for their sprem. So tell me...is this the type of man you would like to have a relationship with one that thinks of you in this manner?

This is what men want. Women.......... many and often. Do you think a man stops fantasizing, when he says "I do". There are always other beautiful women on the other side of the street.

If he was the man I wanted, it would not deter me. This is where a woman's confidence in who she is, kicks in. I would not be demanding and say "it is my way or the highway".

The sentence below expresses my attitude perfectly. Even though it was written many years ago, it is still relevant today (for me anyway) and it is exactly what I would do to win the man of my choice.

“Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you, - and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you!”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

reasonvemotion wrote:

AS:
Reasonvemotion, are you taking this all in...if you are a woman...tell me....do you agree with felasco when he says all women have to do to get a man to fall in love with her is to get nekkid? LOL How would that work for you. Sure...he would fall in love with you if you were nekkid...but then what happens when he crosses the street and lo and behold another woman is nekked? If this is all it takes to fall in love with a woman then we are all alike and might as well be incubators for their sprem. So tell me...is this the type of man you would like to have a relationship with one that thinks of you in this manner?

This is what men want. Women.......... many and often. Do you think a man stops fantasizing, when he says "I do". There are always other beautiful women on the other side of the street.

If he was the man I wanted, it would not deter me. This is where a woman's confidence in who she is, kicks in. I would not be demanding and say "it is my way or the highway".

The sentence below expresses my attitude perfectly. Even though it was written many years ago, it is still relevant today (for me anyway) and it is exactly what I would do to win the man of my choice.

“Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you, - and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you!”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

She was superb!

Wow...you totally missed my point. Sometimes it feels as if I am speaking another language. I wish you would put a little more thought into reading my posts as I do yours.

R:This is what men want. Women.......... many and often. Do you think a man stops fantasizing, when he says "I do". There are always other beautiful women on the other side of the street.

AS: This is not what I am talking about. Of course men and women both fantasize! The issue is do they fall in love every time they fantasize? There are people who do, you know...whether or not you are demanding or confident. Your confidence will only take you so far.

As I see it there are only 2 ways to love...shallowly or deeply. and while there is nothing wrong with either one, there is something terrible wrong if you want one but keep allowing the other. I call that being untrue to yourself.

Yeah...so great...your charlotte bronte....I get it. But tell me...what the fuck does that have to do with being able to spot someone who can love you truly? I think if a woman wants love...confident or not...she should not brush all men into the same category as that is incredibly stupid to do with any person. Do you really think that all men want is to cheat on every street corner but that you are so fantastic the mere thought of your leaving him would deter him lest he loses the greatest thing that happened to him?

Wake up sweetie...every woman thinks like that in her fantasies...even the skank he is cheating with. Don't you know cheating has nothing to do with you at all? It has to do with the type of man you choose. If you chooses a man who does not see women as human beings but rather as a new an exciting adventure to be conquered....then you will be cheated on...100%. Better stock up on that confidence sweetie...cause you're going to need it.


R:If he was the man I wanted, it would not deter me. This is where a woman's confidence in who she is, kicks in. I would not be demanding and say "it is my way or the highway".

AS: Are you telling me you would bed and marry any man because you are not going to be demanding? Are you telling me that you don't demand anything in a relationship and it is okay if a man cheats on you? This would not deter you even a little? Good luck with that....again...better stock up on that confidence cause your going to need it.


R:“Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you, - and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you!”

AS: Is this what you think love is about? Being confident that he is going to think so little of you that you will have to leave him in the dust while clinging to your "confidence?" Why set yourself up by giving your love away to a man who would do this in the first place?

All that being said, I think it is cruel for a woman to want a man so badly that she will overlook how he disrespects her. She is the one who does him a great disservice by tricking him into thinking she is not demanding. This is demanding whether you want to believe it or not...it's just sneaky demanding. It's being demanding after the fact without first disclosing your expectations and instead think he will understand what you want by giving him the silent treatment. Because we all know that most men are soooo good at reading out minds, right?

Yeah...so great...your charlotte bronte....I get it. But tell me...what the fuck does that have to do with being able to spot someone who can love you truly? I think if a woman wants love...confident or not...she should not brush all men into the same category as that is incredibly stupid to do with any person. Do you really think that all men want is to cheat on every street corner but that you are so fantastic the mere thought of your leaving him would deter him lest he loses the greatest thing that happened to him?

Yes ma'am.

reasonvemotion wrote:

Yes ma'am.

Oh Dear....yet another woman who thinks she can change a man.

reasonvemotion wrote:You are sure one kick ass broad.........

Not my approach. I don't know any guy who would take this, lying down or standing up.

AS:

My husband told me when we first got married...before he understood what marrying me entailed...That I should be a stay at home mom...lol. I just let him know in no uncertain terms that that isn't how our marriage was going down and that I was going to continue working. He also tried to tell me that our children were going to be raised Jewish...to which I also replied 'No, they will be raised both our religions or just mine or none." I told him he could choose which one it was gonna be...lol.

I think he was like most men when they are young...still attached to the pretense of what it is to be a "man." A women helps a boy become a man...or more precisely...a man she can live with

I know this quote of mine has been bugging you for a while...as I seem to remember when I first posted it you (or maybe it was someone else) had a problem with it. That and other things in the forum leads me to believe people don't understand the gist of some of my more subtle humor or perhaps their reading comprehension is not all that it could be...or maybe they are just so caught up in traditionally held view point that they don't understand that to dislike the tone of the quote above is to dislike some of the traditional view points they have come to take for granted.

What you are missing is that when I first got married...my husband was demanding first...not me. He demanded that I quit work...he demanded that we raise the kids jewish. The point you miss is the humor I used in the above quote. I was showing him how he sounded in an absurd way. I gave him something to think about because I knew it was unlike him to be like that...it was not in his character. I knew he was not an unreasonable man. I was working before we were married...and I feel I also have a say so in the raising of the children as I am their mother. Duh. My husband got my humor....it is why we are still married...and is how we deal with our differences as well. We are both reasonable enough to understand common sense fair play. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I have used this method to make my point many times...my husband knows I am not serious because he knows my character.

Once I used it on a friend too...it's kinda like the Socratic method only using theatrical techniques. I had this gorgeous friend. Seriously...she was so pretty she could have been a model. Very thin...features of an angel...well her husband was very cruel not to mention fat and ugly. He used to hound her about losing weight constantly (which is funny considering he was cheating with a fat woman)....anyway...his cruel remark destroyed her confidence. She was always trying to diet....she did not like her looks. I could point out to her everyday all the men who ogled her and asked for her number but she would not listen, She felt horrible about herself.

One day my husband and I and my friend and her husband were all having dinner. My husband is a very fit man...he keeps in tip top shape. Anyway, my husband was deciding what to order. He mentioned something about desert and I said "No...you're not having that. I don't like the fatties." At first everyone looked at me like I was being mean...but then my husband started to laugh...because he knows my character and knows I would not care if he weighed 500 pounds...as I will love him no matter what til the day I die. My point was to demonstrate the absurdity of my statement. That he was not fat...and that I looked like a fucking retard saying something like that. I will take a bullet to make a point sometimes...lol...as the waitress also heard my statement.

Don't you see in the above quote...the absurdity of saying, "'No, they will be raised both our religions or just mine or none." I told him he could choose which one it was gonna be...lol." All the options are the opposite of those he demanded . I was pointing out the absolute position he held that had zero room for negotiation. It is also humorously implied that I was indeed being reasonable because, after all, I was allowing him to pick! Come on...you don't see the philosophical humor in that?

Actually, I do hope everything works out for you and you find the man you can live happily with forever. It's just that I know the odds are not in your favor...all I am doing is trying to help you increase your odds.