Dontaskme wrote:Dear Lacewing..I had a vision of nothingness at the tender age of 6 years old....I recall the exact moment so vividly even today...At that moment when the vision of nothingness spontaneously arose in me, did this ''me'' person disappear in the same moment. It's like I had my first awakening to oneness when I was 6 years old. Wow!!
That is awesome!! And delightful to hear from a fellow human! My experience of nothingness was in my late-twenties.
But from my earliest impressions (even as a baby before I learned to speak), I had a sense that humans didn't know what they were doing. I felt sorry for them and wanted to comfort them. They seemed so fearful... and limited. My path to adulthood was always dancing with increasing awareness and exploration (more than human knowledge), which eventually led me to a lot of hallucinogenic use in my mid-twenties... further blowing the doors off of this reality.
Then in my late-twenties, my glimpse of nothingness came during an incident where I lay dying for about 24 hours before help arrived. I was actually bleeding slowly to death such that my veins were collapsing. Something instinctively told me to "shut down" my body's operations to minimal (I don't know how I did that, but I did). The energy/space(?) that I seemed to be merging into was vast and undefined. There were no judgments, structure, resistance, emotions, fear, or any typical human thinking/ideas. There was just BEING. The human world (in a very matter-of-fact way) appeared extraordinarily condensed and limited. But there were no negative or positive judgments or emotions associated with that either, nor were there emotions/desires about wanting to stay or leave. It was just "what was"... and I was simply waiting to see if the "mortals/humans" would save “this physical body” so that I would stay. It didn't matter one way or the other.
That experience left an unforgettable imprint on me... and brought me to further question everything about who we think we are and what we think we know. I don't see it as crucial that we believe anything in particular at all... nor that we do or don't do anything in particular, except for the quality of our experience here... which, like a dream, can be good or bad. We can fly or we can be chased by monsters. It's not solid or lasting or significant... and for some reason that freaks most humans out. If we can just experience and create without getting totally serious and entangled in our creations, it's really an interesting way to ride through it. Of course, if we want to be entangled and serious (and believe fully in this movie until the lights come on), that's okay too... it doesn't matter.
Dontaskme wrote:
Of course I found it difficult to conform to rules imposed upon me by society after that realisation....my mission now is to help free others from the matrix of their own makings...return people to their natural state.
I can appreciate that. I can't seem to help but want to inspire people with ideas for removing boundaries for themselves. I've learned not to get too attached to that idea either though... or I might end up entangling myself or getting in a dance with them that I don't want to be in. In this forum, I've been on a casual mission to point out absurdities around egos and judgments... and since a lot of other people were being rowdy and cursing, I started doing it too. Sort of a way of enthusiastically making points.

It's all for play... with hopefully some new perspectives getting through if they're of use to anyone. But I often think of leaving here... and dancing my energy off somewhere else.