True Story of the Day

[promethean75]

Oh dear, the Turkish capitalist slum landlord with the twisty moustache is back. He's mad becuz I won't come down to peanuts on my staining price and he's out there staining it himself. Now he's tryna get his turkish revenge by making me come out there to add bolts and shit to keep it from wobbling a tiny bit (he may even be lying about that). Lives like an hour from me, one way.

When that scheme fails, he lies and implies that i should redo the posts and run them into concrete footers on the ground becuz 'that's what he requested'. What a dumbass. Like i don't remember what he explicitly instructed me to do; bolt them to the existing deck posts.

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[promethean75]

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[promethean75]

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[promethean75]

Bro I give up on tryna get these screen shots in order. Fuck android.

[promethean75]

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[promethean75]

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[vegetariantaxidermy]

Tell him to rip the lot down for the love of god.

[promethean75]

U can't rip a promethean75 product down becuz they're built to last. That fuckin thing ain't goin anywhere unless that assholes broke-ass deck falls apart (which it might). He's just pissed becuz I quoted $500 labor to add 1x4s and lattice across the rafters and stain everything. That's a great price bro. He just sees how fast I am so then he thinks he's paying me too much. Ah, so if it took me longer, you'd feel better about paying me x amount? How fast I do the work is irrelevant. That's none of your business. All u do is get other quotes and then call me back becuz mines the lowest. That's what u do. Don't get mad at me becuz I'm like a well oiled machine.

I think he's gay anyway. And he wants me and knows I'm not gay. He's too ugly for any girls to like em. Looks like an albino or sumthin. He's impossibly pale... and he has this long handle bar mustache. He's like somebody you'd see at a Freddie mercury party.

[Walker]

Put it in writing first, then stick the writing under his nose when he pulls a fast one ... next time.
If you don't have that, you're gettin' by on charm and trust. Lots of people do good work.

*

A long time ago I was watching this carpentry show on TV. It profiled this fellow on the California coast. He made big doors and big gates for the wealthy.

What I remember is: on the show he went through the process. He used these huge burrs powered pneumatically, like a whale dentist would use. He would carve out the approved design or picture on the blank wood, and this guy was an artist. The effect was a 3-D frieze in wood, as complex as the people wanted to pay and he could go full Rousseau. He probably made the most expensive doors, all custom, all commissioned. Old fashioned European barriers. All solid, nothing tacked on. Wow, to apprentice to someone like that …

Least expensive, most expensive. And in-between.

[promethean75]

"Put it in writing first, then stick the writing under his nose when he pulls a fast one ... next time."

I don't do all that becuz I don't want my customer to get the feeling that i don't trust em. They get offended at that shit. What i do is work out the details in a text convo so i have a record of what was discussed in case they try some slick shit like Turk the slum landlord. When i get the job, i send an itemized list (like an invoice) in a text so there's no grey area about what's getting done.

But formal contracts are for big jobs that are several thousands of dollars. I purposely avoid those becuz a) I'd need to hire some helpers and b) they take too long. What i do it hit little licks that can be done in a day or two and turn down the big stuff.

The biggest money in the fast little jobs are always interior trim of some sort. I talk people who are gonna sell their house eventuality into having trim done to raise the appraisal value. Works every time. I tell em they'll double what they spent on materials and labor and get it all back when they sell.

This coffered ceiling, chair rail and shadow boxes are a prime example. This was years ago. Guy just had an addition built and i was there doing some deck repair. I says to the guy 'guy, if you put a ceiling and some trim in this thing, you'll raise the value of this place by thousands' and he was like 'u don't say' and i was like 'no for real, bro. Lemme drop a coffered ceiling and some boxes in this bitch. I'll give u a good price. That's word on my momma'.

Took me one and a half days.

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[Walker]

"Put it in writing first, then stick the writing under his nose when he pulls a fast one ... next time."

I don't do all that becuz I don't want my customer to get the feeling that i don't trust em. They get offended at that shit.

You some kinda hippie or somethin'?

In my experience as both a customer and a worker, doing that and the attitude that goes with it, commands respect. It also gets more dollars. It also gets a lot of work.

Customers like to know what's going on.

The days of napkin contracts are over. Over!

[attofishpi]

The following convo transpired after I was contacted about installing a storm door. I can only post 4 pics per post, so it'll take a moment. Come back in a few minutes.

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So.

Did your Holy Dowel move in her?

[Walker]

Nice work. Charge double, take twice the time, and relaxxx.
You're a craftsman, not a robot.
The folks need to accomdate you.
New paradigm.

Oh yeah. Competition. Used to be a man could make a living wage ... before the influx of cheap labour. That limitation is just a challenge, you know, like the guy carving doors. His customers are clients.

[promethean75]

Alas, it did not.

I ran a check on her phone number and found a spam call report page. Three other people reported receiving texts from that number with a girl sexting and sending explicit pictures. She's in Nashville Tennessee (hence the mascot behind her in her pictures... some Tennessee college team or whatever).

I thought she was legit when she first texted about the storm door. But then she was like 'I'm trying to get it installed when my boyfriend's out of town... he's terrible at that kind of stuff.' Immediate red flag; TMI, I didn't need to know that information, and it's irrelevant. This chick is tryna put the move on me then. Okay I'll play.

Later I sent her a screen shot of the spam report and haven't heard from her since. Told her she was busted but that we'd still make a good team and that she oughta come on down so we can meet.

[attofishpi]

Ah well, judging by the fat legs you would probably have difficulty locating a suitable orifice, you might have needed to use clamps or something to pin the fat back...maybe sash clamps using the shoulders.