It was only a matter of Time before I made an appearance

[Dalek Prime]

Hey, you're the loon who's pretending to be God.

You tell 'em, Dalek!
(I dunno. Makes me laugh.)

I think he's rather droll. I prefer Bob the Prophet. Vastly more amusing.

[henry quirk]

"Henry, if your soul itches, use some preparation H."

HA!

[uwot]

I prefer Bob the Prophet. Vastly more amusing.

That's a point! Reverend Bob, I know you're a prophet and that; is this 'God' the real deal?

[henry quirk]

God,

I do believe I've tripped you up.

Thirty years ago I wanged my head and my soul fell out...couldn't find it, and couldn't afford a replacement...'why does my soul itch? was a trick question.

If you were all-knowing, you shoulda known that.

So: from now on I will call you 'Jehovah-1' in honor of the subgenius sub-deity...powerful, but not the famed 'Architect, Creator, Sustainer of All Things'.

With that in mind: how's Eris?

[henry quirk]

Jehovah-1,

I have some small experience with 'smiting' and find it to be great fun.

You?

[God]

You're not the first Juvenile coming onto a forum pretending to be a superior being, so go ahead and post your drivel, there's always the ignore function if it gets too silly.

Great to know that eternity has kept Me young. If there is one thing I have noted about Man, it's that when he levels a criticism at others, it's often a criticism of which he is guilty. If I come across as a juvenile, it may well be because you are the juvenile... Or to quote a rather hackneyed apothegm: it takes one to know one! On a more constructive note: it takes one to communicate with one!

If you are god, why aren't you posting in the religion thread, or do the people there know more about God than you do?

Well, I've posted here to introduce myself initially as I assumed the forum seemed to invite as such. If you read my original post, I said I was here to jump in on idiots arguing, not to wade in what religion is supposed to mean. I gave the Hindus a general set of criteria on how to conduct themselves, the next thing I know they have created a multi-deistic religion. I return to give the Jews quite specific instructions and look what's happened since then: several multi-coloured strips of monotheism.

Everyone claims to know more about Me than I do. Apparently, I made you in my image! HA! It doesn't concern me that man gets it wrong... Man will always make errors, it was written into his design. It's how he gets it wrong that gets my attention. Not necessarily my involvement.

Dear God,
Please make me a millionaire...not a billionaire...too much pressure. Just like around 10 to 20 mil....soon please...not like at the end of my life or something mean like that. In jesus name we pray, amen.

This is a little like two posters telling me to "piss off", it doesn't mean I am going to do it.

Tell me, artisticsolution, what makes you worthy of My rewarding you with a the great deal of money (-if that is what you were asking, or were you asking me to turn you into Elton John, and not Donald Trump or Bill Gates?)? By now you should all know that whilst prayer is always heard, it's not necessarily acted upon, and absolutely not acted upon without merit. Asking in Jesus's name just insults the name of Jesus. He doesn't mind. He's good that way.

I think in future, if I have to manifest Myself in any sentient form, it would probably be as a West End musical.

Will it be based on the original? You might want to drop the Sodom and Gomorrah stuff if you don't wish to alienate a sizeable proportion of musical theatre's natural demographic. Have a word with Andrew Lloyd Webber; he's made a mint from putting you on in the West End.

Sodom and Gomorrah are as fair game as Argentina... but I would never have a word with Andrew Lloyd Webber! After all I've done for him!! And then for him to switch sides!!! Let the devil have him, and Cameron Mackintosh... It's Trey Parker and Matt Stone who warrant My influence now. If a musical is written in which I deign to manifest Myself, I will call upon them to write it... Unless they too fall from grace, then it will have to be Boublil and Schönberg, although I find their lyrics to be on the trite side. Nothing that can't be fixed by sending down some words on tablets of stone.

God, who's more powerful? You or AMod? Could you save your thread if I requested AMod to delete it?

Well, I am more powerful. It is I who gave AMod the free will with which he could delete this thread. You assume an egotism on my part, that I do not share with the likes of you. It doesn't bother me in the least if AMod chooses to delete this thread. I have watched various churches, and other faiths warp my intended message. I saw Hitler and Communism attempt to destroy those churches, thinking it was Me they was challenging, when all they were doing was challenging each other and themselves.

Of course I could save this thread. The real question is: would I want to?

I'm sure that there is some way to test whether God is real here or not.

Are you? Are you really sure?

....I've considered this, and concluded I can live with the lingering questions. Let's face it, philosophy would be dead if we answered everything to our satisfaction. In the meantime, let's have some fun with God.

Dalek Prime, you may well live with the lingering questions, but you will one day die with them still lingering. It is I who will continue to exist into eternity knowing everything.

But, hey, that you wish to play continues to hold My attention. Like I said, I'm here because of the idiots who think they can argue.

[thedoc]

I prefer Bob the Prophet. Vastly more amusing.

That's a point! Reverend Bob, I know you're a prophet and that; is this 'God' the real deal?

I really think you guys are spelling it wrong, shouldn't it be "Bob the profit"?

[God]

God,

I do believe I've tripped you up.

Thirty years ago I wanged my head and my soul fell out...couldn't find it, and couldn't afford a replacement...'why does my soul itch? was a trick question.

If you were all-knowing, you shoulda known that.

So: from now on I will call you 'Jehovah-1' in honor of the subgenius sub-deity...powerful, but not the famed 'Architect, Creator, Sustainer of All Things'.

With that in mind: how's Eris?

No, there is no tripping up a formless entity. You just think your soul fell out. Just because you couldn't find it, it doesn't mean it wasn't there. It just means you didn't 'see it' or you failed to look in the right place. The car wouldn't run without the driver. Your soul's in there, it's your capacity to know it that's malfunctioning.

I did answer your question though, I said your soul itched because you had a soul... even though you think it fell out and had to lie about what you thought you didn't have. Note: I didn't even try to explain what might have made it itch as it clearly wasn't itching.

Call you me what you want. All this taking My name in vain is reflective of your vanity not Mine. Think what you will of Me. I know I am the 'Architect, Creator, Sustainer of All Things'.

And as to Eris... Short answer: If you really want to know, go ask Eris! (You really need to define Eris... Mythic goddess of chaos, strife and discord, dwarf planet, the little girl who lives at no.23 Allfarthing Lane... I could go on... But the post would go on and on and on... Such a waste of a good post.)

Jehovah-1,

I have some small experience with 'smiting' and find it to be great fun.

You?

Vastly overrated and counterproductive, but a great saver of Time.

[Dalek Prime]

God,

I do believe I've tripped you up.

Thirty years ago I wanged my head and my soul fell out...couldn't find it, and couldn't afford a replacement...'why does my soul itch? was a trick question.

If you were all-knowing, you shoulda known that.

So: from now on I will call you 'Jehovah-1' in honor of the subgenius sub-deity...powerful, but not the famed 'Architect, Creator, Sustainer of All Things'.

With that in mind: how's Eris?

No, there is no tripping up a formless entity. You just think your soul fell out. Just because you couldn't find it, it doesn't mean it wasn't there. It just means you didn't 'see it' or you failed to look in the right place. The car wouldn't run without the driver. Your soul's in there, it's your capacity to know it that's malfunctioning.

I did answer your question though, I said your soul itched because you had a soul... even though you think it fell out and had to lie about what you thought you didn't have. Note: I didn't even try to explain what might have made it itch as it clearly want itching.

Call you me what you want. All this taking my name in vain is reflective of your vanity not mine. Think what you will of me. I know I am the 'Architect, Creator, Sustainer of All Things'.

And as to Eris... Short answer: If you really want to know, go ask Eris! (You really need to define Eris... Mythic goddess of chaos, strife and discord, dwarf planet, the little girl who lives at no.23 Allfarthing Lane... I could go on... But the post would go on and on and on... Such a waste of a good post.)

Jehovah-1,

I have some small experience with 'smiting' and find it to be great fun.

You?

Vastly overrated and counterproductive, but a great saver of Time.

And why would eternity need to save time?

Anyways, I'm here out of boredom to witness a mentally ill person pretend he's God. Killing time, as it were. Even if you were a god, I'd treat you with disdain, because you're pretty much fucking useless to me. I don't toady to divinity. Let's get something straight; I don't owe God shit. But I will encourage your psychotic episode, just for kicks. Now stop being a useless God, and amuse me. Because that's all you're good for.

[henry quirk]

"You just think your soul fell out."

Got you again: I never had one to begin with.

#

"All this taking my name in vain is reflective of your vanity not mine."

Sayeth the entity who claims to be the entity who created a universe as a stadium for an adoring audience (which he also created).

Jehovoah-1, you're the very definition of vanity.

#

"Think what you will of me."

Kindly, always.

#

"You really need to define Eris."

No, Knower of All things, you tell me what or who I'm talkin' about.

#

"a great saver of Time"

Yes, indeed!

[God]

Jehovah-1,

I have some small experience with 'smiting' and find it to be great fun.

You?

Vastly overrated and counterproductive, but a great saver of Time.

And why would eternity need to save time?

It's not My Time that gets saved. It's yours. Or rather Mankinds. You seem to like wasting yours out of boredom, I gather.

Anyways, I'm here out of boredom...

Yes, there it is...

.....to witness a mentally ill person pretend he's God. Killing time, as it were.

And there it is again... (Or were you referring to Me "killing time"? You need to lose the attitude and pick up on syntax if you want to get your point across clearly.)

Even if you were a god, I'd treat you with disdain, because you're pretty much fucking useless to me. I don't toady to divinity. Let's get something straight; I don't owe God shit. But I will encourage your psychotic episode, just for kicks. Now stop being a useless God, and amuse me. Because that's all you're good for.

You have no idea if I'm mentally ill or if I'm God. You have no idea of what you are talking about and yet you do it with such conviction and a foul mouth.

If I'm so useless to you, why do you insist on talking to Me? Oh... You want to be amused? Well, I'm not here to amuse you... but if watching Me in action does amuse you then shut up, sit back and watch as others with more knowledge, keener wit, and a better command of English than you, engage with me. It would be a better use of your time to retake English classes, just to get your communication on a level that matches most of the other people here, than bore yourself angry with Me.

[God]

You just think your soul fell out.

Got you again: I never had one to begin with.

Got you again: Just because you are unaware of it, it does not mean it's not there.

All this taking My name in vain is reflective of your vanity not Mine.

Sayeth the entity who claims to be the entity who created a universe as a stadium for an adoring audience (which he also created).

Jehovoah-1, you're the very definition of vanity.

I think you may very well be quoting My fans... or My enemies. I have never requested your adoration, certainly not in this thread. You are assuming things about Me based on what others have said. How about we start afresh and you get to know Me based on what I am saying here and now?

Think what you will of Me.

Kindly, always.

Thank you... People underestimate My appreciation of sarcasm.

You really need to define Eris.

No, Knower of All things, you tell me what or who I'm talkin' about.

I already gave you My answer: Go ask Eris.... In asking you to define I was thinking more in terms of this thread's wider audience. I may know what you are talking about but there are others here who definitely will not know what you are referring to. It was with that in mind I asked you to define your terms. (Besides I didn't want to to let on that she was the 'good time girl' to whom you passed on herpes. Oops ... that's that cat out of the bag!)

[henry quirk]

"Just because you are unaware of it, it does not mean it's not there."

Nope, pretty sure I'm just meat.

#

"How about...you get to know Me based on what I am saying here and now?"

I'm 'here' aren't I?

#

"In asking you to define I was thinking more in terms of this thread's wider audience."

The wider audience is your burden, not mine. I could not care less who follows the conversation and how much of it they understand.

I'm a finite event hob-knobbing with the supposed Infinite: not gonna worry about 'them' (in this thread).

[God]

henry quirk I think I am going to like you. Not enough to invest you with a kingdom, or a lottery win, but just enough to look forward to replying to you.

[henry quirk]

HA!

Don't need (or want) a kingdom or lottery numbers.

'Don't lead or follow', and, 'gambling is for chumps'.

I live, am mobile, am not hobbled, have a couple or three brain cells to rub together: I make do with what I got.

And: just call me Henry.